What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

Hannah Lewis2 said:Adam Evans62, I totally get where you're coming from. It’s not even about being lazy—though people love to throw that around—it’s just that we always thought, "Hey, we'll get there when we get there." But then suddenly, everything just feels exhausting. And let's be real, you can't just zip into Target, grab a cart, and call it a day. You need to browse, compare brands, maybe order something online if you can't find it in stock... So, honestly? I don't think it's too early at all.
We ended up buying ours around week 33—I think, anyway, my memory isn't perfect—and by then, I was ready to burst into tears just thinking about having to drive anywhere. 🙄

🙂
Don't let anyone get in your head and don't back down! Times have changed... My family gave me the same old speech, asking why I even needed a stroller and suggesting my godparents could just pick one out for the baby shower... Whatever. We bought absolutely everything ourselves. Luckily, my husband and I are on the exact same page, so I didn't have to fight him on it. I just didn't want to be stuck in a position where I'm waiting around for someone else to bring me what I actually need.

Thanks for the support, hun!

Look, I've already picked everything out. I know exactly which stroller and car seat I want—already looked at them and tested them out. Now I just need to get my butt moving and head over to SLO to grab them. 😠
I know money is tight right now, but whatever, you gotta buy what you need. If we did things his way, we'd be borrowing everything, and I'm not doing that. This is our first baby, so I want brand new.
If he won't go with me when I'm six months along, I'll just go with my parents and let him stay home and sulk like an :asshole
It'll work itself out... he'll come around in a few days. He always ends up seeing things my way eventually, but right now my hormones are all over the place and I feel like a mess...

I'm copying my post from the OB-GYN recommendations thread

She didn't just annoy me; she pushed me to the point where I honestly wanted to kick her out the door...
So, here’s the deal with Dr. Bokic
I don't actually know her, but she absolutely set my nerves on fire today...

My regular OB-GYN is Dr. Cholak over in San Francisco, and he's currently on vacation from April 26th through May 9th. He's being covered by Dr. Bokic at the Westside clinic

Since they found a high white blood cell count in my urine yesterday, the recommendation is to get a urine culture and run some blood work—iron levels, etc.
She was in yesterday morning, which means the earliest I could see her was this afternoon.

Cholak told me to just contact her directly to get my referrals issued...
Anyway, I showed up today thinking I had everything figured out. I'm partly to blame because I mistakenly thought he wasn't back until May 2nd, so I drove all the way from San Francisco to Westside, only to see "Dr. Bokic on vacation" posted right on the door.

It turns out some doctor named Sviben is covering for him at the Barnaby Filipovic Medical Center.

By law, she isn't supposed to be taking leave if she's already acting as a substitute for someone else...
Current mood: livid.
The American healthcare system...
I'll be sending a very pointed email to the Department of Health and Human Services about this.
Naturally, I went down to the Barnaby Filipovic center (even though I knew Sviben couldn't help me—I just wanted to fuel my own rage). The nurse there just stared at me blankly and said, "She isn't supposed to be covering for Dr. Cholak, so who exactly is covering for her?"

Basically, she probably decided to take an extra Friday off because she wanted a longer weekend trip.
And meanwhile, patients like me who rely on Dr. Cholak are just left hanging.

Just for context, I live out near suburban Philadelphia, but unfortunately, I never bothered switching gynecologists when I moved. Clearly, I should have, because I spent the entire day driving aimlessly around the city for nothing.

I’ve been on edge all day... mostly because I failed to get my driver's license appointment...
I am just so incredibly wound up...

Then, I stumble upon this news about a 30-year-old woman who passed away from breast cancer... and I start reading through her blog...
I’ve been sitting here moping for a while now...

Now I’m actually angry at myself—angry that I’m letting these trivial frustrations get to me, and even angrier that someone else's tragedy is serving as my emotional release valve. The tears are flowing... and in a way, they're draining off the rage I've been carrying since this afternoon...
I'm frustrated because I'm being terrible...
I really am a mess right now...

Anthony Watson35 said:I can’t even say this guy’s "help" actually works. 🤷 Like, sure, he does stuff—but HOW he does it is the problem. First example: vacuuming without touching the bedroom.
Second example: dusting. Great, now what? What am I supposed to do with the rest of the mess?
Third example: I go to clean the bathroom. Fine. But what about the toilet? Did he even look at the toilet?
Fourth: he takes out the trash. Cool. But what about the little bin in the guest bath? Yeah...

And so it goes, and so it goes, and so it goes...
To hell with this "helping" crap—what's the point if I have to go over everything eight more times with a rag, or end up doing half the damn work myself anyway?

I honestly thought I was the only one dealing with this at home... maybe I am. What's hardest is that he doesn't even notice any of it... and here I am, constantly nagging him to do this or that... whenever he actually does something, it feels so forced, and I still have to follow behind him... 😠😠😠And of course, nothing bothers him... so I just let everything slide for a few days... I changed the sheets and just threw all the laundry into the bathroom...
It ended up being four loads of laundry 🤣 and then he starts asking me when I'm finally going to start the machine... so I just act like I didn't hear him... like, why should I? And he tells me it's a mess and he has nothing to wear... so I told him that since I don't tell him what to do, he shouldn't be telling me either. 😂😂

In the end, he started three half-empty loads and thinks he's done his chores for the entire month... I'm actually 14 weeks pregnant, so I guess everything is just extra irritating right now...

It’s driving me crazy that I’m already gaining weight in my first trimester.😠 Honestly, I have no one to blame but myself because I just can't stop snacking.🙄

It also bugs me how everyone around me has already had their babies and finished their business, yet during their own pregnancies, they acted like they were totally incapacitated—you know, the whole "don't pick up a coffee spoon," "don't walk," just lie down and eat routine.😠😠 But now? Now they expect me to serve 60 people at a family gathering just because I'm "strong."🙄

And don't even get me started on how constantly everyone tries to lecture me on what I should be eating.😠😠 Just leave me alone. I'm already eating way too much as it is!

I know it's not the end of the world, but I can't help feeling this frustrated...🙄

That’s exactly why this thread exists—it’s a place where you can just come and let off some steam, whether things have been going terribly or not. 😉

Raymond Taylor14 said:I honestly thought I was the only one dealing with this at home... maybe I am. What's hardest is that he doesn't even notice any of it... and here I am, constantly nagging him to do this or that... whenever he actually does something, it feels so forced, and I still have to follow behind him... 😠😠😠And of course, nothing bothers him... so I just let everything slide for a few days... I changed the sheets and just threw all the laundry into the bathroom...
It ended up being four loads of laundry 🤣 and then he starts asking me when I'm finally going to start the machine... so I just act like I didn't hear him... like, why should I? And he tells me it's a mess and he has nothing to wear... so I told him that since I don't tell him what to do, he shouldn't be telling me either. 😂😂

In the end, he started three half-empty loads and thinks he's done his chores for the entire month... I'm actually 14 weeks pregnant, so I guess everything is just extra irritating right now...

I really can't find anything to complain about when it comes to my husband, though, because he's truly wonderful... even though he works all day, when he gets home, he isn't too proud to help move heavy stuff like the kitchen island, the fridge, or the stove just so I can wipe down underneath them—and I'm the one doing the wiping because he's exhausted from work, even if he insists he can do it himself, but I won't let him...😍 😍he really is my rock... back when we first moved in and I was mostly resting, the house was actually cleaner than it is now that I'm more active. He'd come home from work and grab a rag immediately😁 my sweet angel...
But my mother-in-law drives me absolutely crazy. She lives with us, but in the five years she's been here, I haven't seen her pick up a cleaning rag once... I mean, seriously, during our wedding, I was laid up for three months and your son was basically running the whole house by himself😠 and then the other day, I was having such a hard time getting up because I had been on my knees scrubbing the floors, and she just walks right into the kitchen with her dirty shoes on like she didn't notice a thing, just to cook some fish because she's hungry, and she ends up splashing grease everywhere on my clean floor... then my husband comes in and asks me how I managed to get it all so clean😠 I didn't want to start a fight, so I just asked him to move the stove so I could finish cleaning under it. That's when she popped out of her room and goes, "What are you two doing? Are you guys crazy? I'm not supposed to be overexerting myself..." Well, that was the breaking point for me, that was it!😳😳

I braced myself mentally for our morning 🙂 again (the doctor gave us the green light on Wednesday, but we haven't even made it to 🤦 yet), so I actually dragged myself out of bed thirty minutes early just to get ready... then I crawled right back under the covers. He’s sleeping soundly, I’m trying to be affectionate, and he just rolls over to the other side. 😠 Whatever. I figured, fine, let him sleep and we'll deal with it when he wakes up... but nope. His phone starts blaring immediately because the local chess club is calling about some kid's tournament and they need him to prep their assignments. Suddenly, he’s wide awake. I’m up too, already feeling my blood pressure rise. I brew the damn coffee, and then, as he's heading out the door, he casually mentions the bathroom floor is dusty and needs cleaning. 😠😠😠

I know the damn floor is dusty, :asshole:, but I'm waiting for you to scrub it along with the rest of the bathroom because I am NOT in the mood to deal with bleach and Lysol today!!!! 😠😠😠

My husband did all the laundry and vacuumed everything yesterday, and now the clothes are just sitting outside...

He saw I was right on the edge of a total mental breakdown... after the absolute garbage fire of an afternoon I had...

But everything just hurts...

I have such a massive to-do list... my little one is acting up with her toddler TV show and won't let me sleep, but I can't even move... I have to stay right next to her...

The baby is kicking me like crazy in my gut...
Every single woman I pass on the street asks me, "Oooooh, how many days left until the big day?"
As if! My due date isn't for another three weeks.
Honestly, part of me doesn't even feel ready to give birth yet...
I have no clue if I'm actually dilated or not... I'm heading to my appointment at the Mayo Clinic on Monday.

I feel like I’m getting worked up over something new every single day...
I won't even get into how my Easter weekend went. I mean, it was actually pretty nice,
but without my husband... it's a long story, probably not worth mentioning..
I spent time with my family, and he stayed with his...
now, a few days later... I'm getting frustrated over things that might not even matter,
maybe I shouldn't...
suddenly, my husband KNOWS that our apartment is going to be way too small once the baby arrives... even though just last week, he was telling everyone
that everything would be fine and we'd have plenty of room for everyone...
as if I don't know exactly where that attitude comes from!!!!😠😠

Ronald Williams9 said:don't give in there.........
A friend's husband used to pull those same stupid stunts... she ended up fine though, because her other friend basically covered everything for her........

There's a baby expo next week, maybe you could drag him there if you're near Washington, D.C. or somewhere close... might find some deals so he doesn't have to spend a fortune...

I can't stand mothers-in-law who try to manipulate their sons like that.....

Mine is actually amazing..............honestly think I have the best mother-in-law ever, I get along better with her than my own mom👍

I went through the exact same thing... but it got so bad I actually moved back in with my parents when I was seven months pregnant because I just couldn't take it anymore.. basically "he" thought half the stuff was unnecessary and we had plenty of time for everything... in his mind, we'd just deal with it once I was already at the hospital... the worst part was that nobody showed any initiative about buying things for the baby, and even worse was when he started quoting those idiot "friends" of his saying just wait until the baby is born to buy anything, since who knows if it'll even make it...😠😢 luckily my family helped me out financially since he still doesn't care one bit.. all he cared about was picking a name... but I didn't budge on that. I carried and cared for that baby for nine months.. and the name is what I wanted, and they have both last names, not just his...🙂)

Husband. Yesterday. I mention that I’m picking up a crib next weekend and have zero clue what the mattress situation looks like—heard something about some weird allergy thing, maybe looking for a hypoallergenic one...
And he’s all like, "Why are you panicking? Why are you freaking out over nothing?" Apparently, the kid isn't even born yet and I'm already sewing allergies onto him ( 🙄 ). Don't turn the baby into an invalid, blah blah blah...
😠
Look, I’m not panicking, and I’m not freaking out. I just said I want to SEE what’s actually out there because I DON'T KNOW—and yeah, I figure hypoallergenic mattresses are probably better quality. It's not like I'm trying to raise the kid under a literal glass dome, but honestly? He might be better off staying with his messy, disorganized mother who hasn't seen an iron in her entire life. Let her put him to sleep in a recliner, for God's sake. Or maybe just on some kitchen towels. Unwashed, obviously—you know, to build up that immune system. :asshole:

😂 Just finished some reading! Honestly, I feel like I might just pass out right here, and I haven't even done anything wrong, poor thing! But hey, better safe than sorry!

But man, there is one person who is seriously getting on my nerves. Look, for example—I’m due to give birth in maybe 20 days tops. And my husband just had his birthday. We ended up traveling back to where we grew up so he could celebrate with his friends, because let's be real, those people wouldn't bother driving to Washington, D.C. unless they needed a favor. Whatever. And then there's the godmother's wife—she doesn't just ignore us once in a while, she's constantly blowing us off. She’s always "sick" whenever we try to grab coffee or something. Of course, she didn't show up for the birthday either, and then the godfather has the nerve to drop this hint that we should call them the very next day after lunch to go get coffee... 😕😕😕 Seriously, get lost, you rude piece of work! 😠
Whenever we try to organize a get-together, she acts like a total pain. Then she expects me to be the one to reach out in front of the whole family to grab coffee just because she was "tired" last night??? Please. The woman doesn't even have a job... My own godmother worked from sunrise until 10 PM the day before, and she still showed up that day. Get outta here!
Naturally, we didn't call because I was dealing with some pains and just wanted to head home. I made sure to let everyone down there know, including my parents, that I wasn't coming back until they came to see me. 😳

I swear, some people just know how to get under my skin at the grocery store...

Take this guy right now, for example. He’s standing in front of me looking absolutely miserable because he has to wait in line with a massive bag of potatoes, acting like they opened this new checkout lane just to spite him. Meanwhile, I’m standing here starving, and nobody seems to care. And the best part? He actually has the nerve to give *me* attitude. Honestly, just get over it.

Hannah Lewis2 said:😂 Just finished some reading! Honestly, I feel like I might just pass out right here, and I haven't even done anything wrong, poor thing! But hey, better safe than sorry!

But man, there is one person who is seriously getting on my nerves. Look, for example—I’m due to give birth in maybe 20 days tops. And my husband just had his birthday. We ended up traveling back to where we grew up so he could celebrate with his friends, because let's be real, those people wouldn't bother driving to Washington, D.C. unless they needed a favor. Whatever. And then there's the godmother's wife—she doesn't just ignore us once in a while, she's constantly blowing us off. She’s always "sick" whenever we try to grab coffee or something. Of course, she didn't show up for the birthday either, and then the godfather has the nerve to drop this hint that we should call them the very next day after lunch to go get coffee... 😕😕😕 Seriously, get lost, you rude piece of work! 😠
Whenever we try to organize a get-together, she acts like a total pain. Then she expects me to be the one to reach out in front of the whole family to grab coffee just because she was "tired" last night??? Please. The woman doesn't even have a job... My own godmother worked from sunrise until 10 PM the day before, and she still showed up that day. Get outta here!
Naturally, we didn't call because I was dealing with some pains and just wanted to head home. I made sure to let everyone down there know, including my parents, that I wasn't coming back until they came to see me. 😳

Who cares? Don't let it get to you. Seriously, don't waste your energy on people like that. What's her excuse for being too exhausted to show up for a celebration? Does she have kids? Is she working a farm or something since she isn't employed? We've all had people like that in our circles, and they always catch us off guard, but eventually, they just stop mattering.

Ugh, now I’m actually stressed because this 35th week hit me out of nowhere (I was literally counting down the days!) and my hospital bag is still empty. I haven't even touched the baby clothes yet, and now everything has to happen *right now*, but I just have zero motivation. Then the panic kicks in thinking, "What if I go into labor or my water breaks and I've got nothing ready?" 😲 Plus, I still need to grab a crib and bedding, and we have to get the nursery painted. I need to find space for all this new gear, too—I don't know where it's all going to fit, let alone washing all those little drawers, ughhh 🙂 I just can't deal right now... when is this nesting instinct finally gonna kick in?😕

It honestly drives me crazy when I’m feeling stressed and try to vent to my partner about it, only to have him respond with, "Oh, so you're just going to get worked up over nothing?" 😠

I swear, ironing is actually killing me
Honestly, walking up a flight of stairs feels way less exhausting than dealing with this iron.
I’ll barely get through a few t-shirts and I’m already gasping for air, needing a break.
I can't tell if it's just because the AC is busted, or if it's the steam from the iron, or maybe...

I’ve never been a fan of ironing, but now? It’s straight-up draining my soul.

Steven Barrett6 said:I swear, ironing is actually killing me
Honestly, walking up a flight of stairs feels way less exhausting than dealing with this iron.
I’ll barely get through a few t-shirts and I’m already gasping for air, needing a break.
I can't tell if it's just because the AC is busted, or if it's the steam from the iron, or maybe...

I’ve never been a fan of ironing, but now? It’s straight-up draining my soul.

I definitely know what you mean, there are plenty of us out there, though I have to admit I'm kind of my own worst enemy here since I tend to procrastinate until my husband and I are both staring at empty closets, which means I end up having to tackle a massive pile all at once! But seriously, after just two or three shirts, I’m already looking for an excuse to head to the bathroom or grab a glass of water just to sit down for a second, and it's funny because I feel like I could go for a long hike through the Rockies and not feel nearly as winded as I do doing this chore.😳

My coworker seriously sent my blood pressure through the roof yesterday.
She actually had the nerve to look at me and go, "Ooh, let me see my little chunky girl."
Honestly, she can just go jump in the trash! Like, what the hell is her problem?!!!
I’m not "chunky," I’m pregnant. For the record, I’m 140 lbs and 5'5", so if I wasn't expecting, those extra pounds wouldn't even make me "chunky."
If there hadn't been a crowd watching, I wouldn't have stayed polite. I would've shut her down right then and there by saying, "I'm not fat, I'm pregnant."
But obviously, I’ve got way more class and basic decency than she does...

People are just so incredibly stupid. Even if I were 220 lbs, you don't call a pregnant woman "chunky." It's common sense. Plus, I'm already feeling super sensitive about my weight right now, so this really stung...

There are a million better ways to bring something up without being a total jerk...