What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

Here I go again—I’ve already posted about this before. Honestly, certain commenters just drive me insane... specifically those women who act like they have all the answers just because they have kids. Like they somehow know what’s best for me and my baby better than I do. 🙂🙂🙂
How do you even deal with people like that? Then again, half of them could probably use a crash course in actual parenting, seeing as their own kids are total nightmares.
I can't stand the unsolicited advice, the constant lecturing, and the endless meddling in things that aren't their business...
It’s gotten to the point where everything is starting to grate on my nerves. Just the other day, someone asks if we want a girl or a boy. I tell her—it doesn't matter, we just want a healthy baby. She goes, "Oh, right, but you'd actually prefer a girl, wouldn't you?" So I just sit there repeating myself like a broken record—it's not important, health is what matters. 🙂

I am seriously going to lose my mind if I don't get back on my bike soon!

It is honestly so frustrating when people without kids try to give you advice...

casualsurfer8 said:cosmiccrane15, tell me about it. I’ve been stuck on bed rest for months now, and honestly, it’s driving me insane. My husband thinks cleaning the bathroom once a week and running the vacuum through the house is enough... But then I feel bad because he’s handling everything solo, so I just shut up and ignore the dust.
But you hit the nail on the head. I’m almost at the end of my bed rest too (35 weeks), and I feel like I’ve spent half my life Googling things. If it makes it any better, I’ll be able to scrub this entire house from top to bottom by myself in about two weeks. 😍
Other than that, this pregnancy hasn't really pushed my buttons much since I'm basically cooped up at home seeing next to nobody... 😉

Oh man, you totally reminded me! 🙂
It actually caught me off guard that I’m going to have to stay on bed rest for basically the whole pregnancy—different stretches for different reasons, I guess.
I’ve always been super active—never one to just sit around—so I really didn't think I'd end up needing to take it easy like this.

It’s honestly getting pretty irritating. Now that I’m pregnant with my second, people keep making comments about how we might finally have a little brother this time, since I already have a daughter. They say it like they're trying to comfort me or something, as if having a boy is some kind of prize. Microsoft! First off, we actually wanted another girl (obviously, as long as the baby is healthy and happy!). I think I can more easily picture our family with two girls. I haven't been sharing my actual wishes lately, though, just because I don't want anyone thinking I'll be disappointed if it turns out to be a boy—which wouldn't happen, but it would feel a bit strange. I guess I’ve even developed this weird resistance toward the idea of a boy; part of me almost wants a girl just out of pure spite. I'm not sure why it's hitting me so hard right now. It really started when my mom made that comment, and then a few other people followed suit. Maybe it's because I was the third girl in my family and everyone seemed a bit let down back then... Ugh, it feels silly to admit, but it’s really bothering me.

Nathan Lee said:It’s honestly getting pretty irritating. Now that I’m pregnant with my second, people keep making comments about how we might finally have a little brother this time, since I already have a daughter. They say it like they're trying to comfort me or something, as if having a boy is some kind of prize. Microsoft! First off, we actually wanted another girl (obviously, as long as the baby is healthy and happy!). I think I can more easily picture our family with two girls. I haven't been sharing my actual wishes lately, though, just because I don't want anyone thinking I'll be disappointed if it turns out to be a boy—which wouldn't happen, but it would feel a bit strange. I guess I’ve even developed this weird resistance toward the idea of a boy; part of me almost wants a girl just out of pure spite. I'm not sure why it's hitting me so hard right now. It really started when my mom made that comment, and then a few other people followed suit. Maybe it's because I was the third girl in my family and everyone seemed a bit let down back then... Ugh, it feels silly to admit, but it’s really bothering me.

People are perpetually dissatisfied and will always find something to push back against.
The same "comforting" remarks were aimed at me when I found out I was having my second son, despite everyone hoping for a girl. 😛One of my coworkers was inconsolable for days after learning her daughter was having a boy because she was so desperate for a grandson. 🤷Gender isn't everything, though there seems to be a persistent, misguided notion that girls are somehow less valued.

What irritates me more than anything is when those "experienced" moms try to give you advice about getting enough sleep before the baby arrives...🙂
It’s such nonsense. Like I’m some kind of bear going into hibernation or something—as if I can just sleep my way through this and somehow emerge fully recharged so I never have to sleep again...

The truth is, I’m already a terrible sleeper. And whenever I’m lying there wide awake in bed, that thought always creeps in like some kind of curse: *just go to sleep... you need to catch up now because once this happens, you're never sleeping again.* Seriously, does anyone know if there's a button for that? Just click it and be done with it?🙂 🙂

crimsoncobra96 said:What irritates me more than anything is when those "experienced" moms try to give you advice about getting enough sleep before the baby arrives...🙂
It’s such nonsense. Like I’m some kind of bear going into hibernation or something—as if I can just sleep my way through this and somehow emerge fully recharged so I never have to sleep again...

The truth is, I’m already a terrible sleeper. And whenever I’m lying there wide awake in bed, that thought always creeps in like some kind of curse: *just go to sleep... you need to catch up now because once this happens, you're never sleeping again.* Seriously, does anyone know if there's a button for that? Just click it and be done with it?🙂 🙂

That used to drive me crazy during my pregnancy too. Even now that I've had my little one, it's one of those pieces of advice I constantly think about giving to new moms, though I usually bite my tongue. 🤣 What we actually mean is—no matter how much sleep you manage to grab right now, things are only going to get more intense later. 😂
For instance, right now, even if you can't sleep, you can at least lounge around, watch Netflix, snack, or just wander to the bathroom whenever you want. Once that tiny baby arrives... none of that is an option. We aren't telling you to "bank" sleep; we're trying to say enjoy the freedom of being able to hit the restroom or eat a snack whenever you feel like it while you still can. 😁

Roger Grant84 said:That used to drive me crazy during my pregnancy too. Even now that I've had my little one, it's one of those pieces of advice I constantly think about giving to new moms, though I usually bite my tongue. 🤣 What we actually mean is—no matter how much sleep you manage to grab right now, things are only going to get more intense later. 😂
For instance, right now, even if you can't sleep, you can at least lounge around, watch Netflix, snack, or just wander to the bathroom whenever you want. Once that tiny baby arrives... none of that is an option. We aren't telling you to "bank" sleep; we're trying to say enjoy the freedom of being able to hit the restroom or eat a snack whenever you feel like it while you still can. 😁

It's a whole different story once you're pregnant and then dealing with a newborn...

Nathan Lee said:It's a whole different story once you're pregnant and then dealing with a newborn...

Well... I think the answer is pretty obvious 🙂just get some sleep🙂

Can I just vent here for a second? 🙂
I honestly can’t even put into words whether I was angry, furious, frustrated—or whatever you call the reaction to being treated like this by my own grandmother. 🙂

Everything was going so beautifully on Saturday afternoon with my husband. Then, the elders arrived—we had invited them over to catch up and reminisce—and after a little while, both my grandfather and grandmother burst in because my mother thought we might have something to say to them. 🙂
Fine, whatever. Everyone is happy, Grandma is acting all hyper, and since everyone was already there, I decided to quickly whip something up for food. I don't even need to mention that my kitchen is tiny—there's barely enough room for one person to stand—yet she makes herself right at home, hovering and tripping over me while I'm trying to cook. 🙄And why? Because she insisted on rubbing my stomach... I mean, seriously, what pregnant woman has a visible bump at six weeks?

I bit my tongue on that one. But then, once I finally sat down to have a smoke (yes, I’m pregnant and I smoke; please, don't start judging me too), she immediately starts lecturing me about how I shouldn't smoke because it isn't healthy—and then proceeds to take one last deep drag from her filter cigarette! Not to mention, that was her fourth cigarette in half an hour. 🙄

Again, I swallowed my rage. But then, when everyone stood up to leave, Grandma grabs my hand—quietly, so no one else would hear—and whispers, "You know, you really shouldn't smoke. Let me tell you a story: back when I was young, there was this girl who smoked throughout her entire pregnancy, and when she gave birth, her baby died because of it."
When I heard those words, I absolutely lost it. I snapped at her—asking if she had actually lost her mind—demanding to know why on earth she was implying my child would die because of my smoking. 😲To top it all off, I told her I might as well just order an abortion right now, since according to her logic, it wouldn't matter if the baby died now or in nine months anyway. 😱
Thankfully, my father and husband broke the awkward silence—and the literal lightning bolts flying from my eyes toward Grandma—and ushered everyone out of the house.
And all of this is coming from a woman who smoked two packs a day during both of her pregnancies...
Needless to say, she won't be seeing me for a very, very long time.

Also, it drives me crazy—especially with women—how the moment they hear someone is pregnant, their eyes immediately dart to your stomach, staring and staring and staring... as if they have X-ray vision and need to inspect exactly where it is and what it looks like. 🙄
Men are more subtle; they just say, "Nice, congrats," and move on.

It is truly remarkable how everyone seems fixated on their midsection, even when there is nothing to see yet. I fail to understand what they hope to find in a complete void.

I’m 18, and my stomach looks like I’ve been overindulging constantly... yet everyone still asks where it went. Honestly, I have no clue where it went, and they’re just stressing me out with all that nonsense

northernsailor17 said:I’m 18, and my stomach looks like I’ve been overindulging constantly... yet everyone still asks where it went. Honestly, I have no clue where it went, and they’re just stressing me out with all that nonsense

Just ignore those idiots; there really isn't much to see when you're only 18 weeks in.

Roger Grant84 said:That used to drive me crazy during my pregnancy too. Even now that I've had my little one, it's one of those pieces of advice I constantly think about giving to new moms, though I usually bite my tongue. 🤣 What we actually mean is—no matter how much sleep you manage to grab right now, things are only going to get more intense later. 😂
For instance, right now, even if you can't sleep, you can at least lounge around, watch Netflix, snack, or just wander to the bathroom whenever you want. Once that tiny baby arrives... none of that is an option. We aren't telling you to "bank" sleep; we're trying to say enjoy the freedom of being able to hit the restroom or eat a snack whenever you feel like it while you still can. 😁

I basically slept through almost my entire pregnancy. To put it simply, I finished all my baby shopping in a single three-hour trip, watched movies, read books, meditated, and spent endless hours on forums. My brain was totally idle.
When I gave birth, my baby wasn't right next to me because they were in the NICU, so I actually managed to get about 11 days of solid sleep. No one understood how I could sleep so well while babies in the maternity ward were crying day and night. I was honestly just praying my little one wouldn't be like that when we finally got home.

Once we got home, my husband took over for the first month. I kept sleeping for that whole month while he handled everything with the baby, bringing him to me only for feedings. Most of the time, the baby stayed right next to me in bed and was such a dream.

Looking back, it definitely feels like I slept enough to last a lifetime. There's no more catching up to do. 😂

I am truly glad I listened to my body and slept as much as I did. It's something I'll remember forever. 😍

Laura Vaughn3 said:Can I just vent here for a second? 🙂
I honestly can’t even put into words whether I was angry, furious, frustrated—or whatever you call the reaction to being treated like this by my own grandmother. 🙂

Everything was going so beautifully on Saturday afternoon with my husband. Then, the elders arrived—we had invited them over to catch up and reminisce—and after a little while, both my grandfather and grandmother burst in because my mother thought we might have something to say to them. 🙂
Fine, whatever. Everyone is happy, Grandma is acting all hyper, and since everyone was already there, I decided to quickly whip something up for food. I don't even need to mention that my kitchen is tiny—there's barely enough room for one person to stand—yet she makes herself right at home, hovering and tripping over me while I'm trying to cook. 🙄And why? Because she insisted on rubbing my stomach... I mean, seriously, what pregnant woman has a visible bump at six weeks?

I bit my tongue on that one. But then, once I finally sat down to have a smoke (yes, I’m pregnant and I smoke; please, don't start judging me too), she immediately starts lecturing me about how I shouldn't smoke because it isn't healthy—and then proceeds to take one last deep drag from her filter cigarette! Not to mention, that was her fourth cigarette in half an hour. 🙄

Again, I swallowed my rage. But then, when everyone stood up to leave, Grandma grabs my hand—quietly, so no one else would hear—and whispers, "You know, you really shouldn't smoke. Let me tell you a story: back when I was young, there was this girl who smoked throughout her entire pregnancy, and when she gave birth, her baby died because of it."
When I heard those words, I absolutely lost it. I snapped at her—asking if she had actually lost her mind—demanding to know why on earth she was implying my child would die because of my smoking. 😲To top it all off, I told her I might as well just order an abortion right now, since according to her logic, it wouldn't matter if the baby died now or in nine months anyway. 😱
Thankfully, my father and husband broke the awkward silence—and the literal lightning bolts flying from my eyes toward Grandma—and ushered everyone out of the house.
And all of this is coming from a woman who smoked two packs a day during both of her pregnancies...
Needless to say, she won't be seeing me for a very, very long time.

Also, it drives me crazy—especially with women—how the moment they hear someone is pregnant, their eyes immediately dart to your stomach, staring and staring and staring... as if they have X-ray vision and need to inspect exactly where it is and what it looks like. 🙄
Men are more subtle; they just say, "Nice, congrats," and move on.

Oh sure, we'll all be cheering you on with a big "Bravo," because clearly, you're being incredibly responsible and handling this perfectly. I really hope you managed to shake off whatever frustration you felt after being yelled at by someone who is actually looking out for the baby you're carrying—even if it seems like you don't care that much about it yourself.

Just because she's being hypocritical doesn't mean her advice isn't solid. Maybe instead of getting defensive, you could try actually addressing your addiction—which, let's be real, is a medical issue—and seek out some professional help if you can't handle it on your own? That would be a lot more productive than just taking your helplessness and guilt over doing something wrong and dumping it onto the people closest to you who are trying to help.

Man, you really can read just about anything on these forums. 🙂

James Martinez3 said:Oh sure, we'll all be cheering you on with a big "Bravo," because clearly, you're being incredibly responsible and handling this perfectly. I really hope you managed to shake off whatever frustration you felt after being yelled at by someone who is actually looking out for the baby you're carrying—even if it seems like you don't care that much about it yourself.

Just because she's being hypocritical doesn't mean her advice isn't solid. Maybe instead of getting defensive, you could try actually addressing your addiction—which, let's be real, is a medical issue—and seek out some professional help if you can't handle it on your own? That would be a lot more productive than just taking your helplessness and guilt over doing something wrong and dumping it onto the people closest to you who are trying to help.

Man, you really can read just about anything on these forums. 🙂

I'm with you on this one.

Amy Walker4 said:I'm with you on this one.

I don't usually jump into debates like this, but I actually DISAGREE. Personally, I haven't smoked in years, but I used to, so I know how tough quitting can be. It’s definitely uncomfortable seeing a pregnant woman smoking heavily, especially out in public, but I know plenty of women who just cut down to a few cigarettes a day rather than quitting the whole pack they were smoking before pregnancy. I've even heard in several places that the stress of quitting can sometimes be harder on the baby than just having a few—and I mean just a FEW (maybe 3 or 4) a day.

On the other hand, the woman stated clearly that she isn't looking for judgment, which means she's aware of the situation and doesn't want to dwell on it. It really gets under my skin when anonymous people on a forum act like self-appointed moral authorities. Would you honestly walk up to a neighbor or an acquaintance and tell them they don't care about their child and need medical help? Come on, please...

P.S. Sometimes it’s incredibly hard to explain a situation perfectly, and sometimes a long post can be interpreted a hundred different ways. However, in most cases, you can usually figure out what the writer actually meant. I really dislike it when people on a forum just look for any excuse to lecture others or be contrarian.

James Martinez3 said:Oh sure, we'll all be cheering you on with a big "Bravo," because clearly, you're being incredibly responsible and handling this perfectly. I really hope you managed to shake off whatever frustration you felt after being yelled at by someone who is actually looking out for the baby you're carrying—even if it seems like you don't care that much about it yourself.

Just because she's being hypocritical doesn't mean her advice isn't solid. Maybe instead of getting defensive, you could try actually addressing your addiction—which, let's be real, is a medical issue—and seek out some professional help if you can't handle it on your own? That would be a lot more productive than just taking your helplessness and guilt over doing something wrong and dumping it onto the people closest to you who are trying to help.

Man, you really can read just about anything on these forums. 🙂

I think you've got bigger fish to fry than that woman who sits down and lights a cigarette...

Look, I know what I said wasn't nice, but why are you acting like such a drama queen?! Don't you have anything better to do? Is there really nobody else nearby you can take your frustrations out on?! You were probably a total nightmare for the nurses back in the maternity ward...

Nathan Lee said:I don't usually jump into debates like this, but I actually DISAGREE. Personally, I haven't smoked in years, but I used to, so I know how tough quitting can be. It’s definitely uncomfortable seeing a pregnant woman smoking heavily, especially out in public, but I know plenty of women who just cut down to a few cigarettes a day rather than quitting the whole pack they were smoking before pregnancy. I've even heard in several places that the stress of quitting can sometimes be harder on the baby than just having a few—and I mean just a FEW (maybe 3 or 4) a day.

On the other hand, the woman stated clearly that she isn't looking for judgment, which means she's aware of the situation and doesn't want to dwell on it. It really gets under my skin when anonymous people on a forum act like self-appointed moral authorities. Would you honestly walk up to a neighbor or an acquaintance and tell them they don't care about their child and need medical help? Come on, please...

P.S. Sometimes it’s incredibly hard to explain a situation perfectly, and sometimes a long post can be interpreted a hundred different ways. However, in most cases, you can usually figure out what the writer actually meant. I really dislike it when people on a forum just look for any excuse to lecture others or be contrarian.

I don't typically weigh in on these kinds of discussions either, but so what? I used to be a smoker too, and I quit the moment I found out I was pregnant; sure, maybe someone might light up once or twice here and there while they're getting support to quit, but becoming increasingly irresponsible with it is a different story altogether.

silentraven6 said:I think you've got bigger fish to fry than that woman who sits down and lights a cigarette...

Look, I know what I said wasn't nice, but why are you acting like such a drama queen?! Don't you have anything better to do? Is there really nobody else nearby you can take your frustrations out on?! You were probably a total nightmare for the nurses back in the maternity ward...

My apologies, I'll make sure to ask your permission next time before I decide which topics are okay to discuss.
😂

As for everything else—no comment. If you ever seriously considered psychoanalysis as a career path, you might want to rethink those plans immediately. I spoke up because nothing irritates me more during pregnancy than women who smoke and then expect everyone to be understanding about it. And just as I called this person out virtually, I’ve done the exact same thing to people I know in real life. I don't feel even a shred of guilt about it. Luckily, there was only one instance, and she stopped after we had our talk. And I'm not getting involved for the sake of those pregnant women—I don't really care about them, I just feel bad for their unborn children.

That’s one thing. Secondly, I don't frequent places that actually have something resembling a "maternity ward," so you don't have to worry about running into me there. But if life somehow led me to one of those units and someone decided to smoke right next to me—yeah, they would have had the worst night of their lives. And frankly, I think I'd be completely justified in feeling that way.

I'm done debating this topic; I've said what I needed to say.