What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

Nathan Lee said:Since things got a little heated here on the forum, my wife actually sent me a private message. She explained that since she doesn't live in the States, she didn't really know what kind of department we were talking about. Plus, for her own reasons, she gets sensitive about the smoking thing. At the end of the day, we all have bad days and our own stuff going on. So, I suspect she might not be the "freak" the original post made her out to be.

She terrorized me with those private messages too—telling me point-blank that I shouldn't bother living in America. And then, to add insult to injury, she had the nerve to mention she’s a mother of three? She even went on about how she spent time in a postpartum ward with one of her kids—which makes her whole "expert" stance even more offensive than I thought. Honestly, how can someone be that delusional?

@Raymond Martinez4 My nephew actually told me I could go ahead and suck on a Gastal for a stomachache. Honestly—is that even advice you can take seriously?

Laura Vaughn3 said:She terrorized me with those private messages too—telling me point-blank that I shouldn't bother living in America. And then, to add insult to injury, she had the nerve to mention she’s a mother of three? She even went on about how she spent time in a postpartum ward with one of her kids—which makes her whole "expert" stance even more offensive than I thought. Honestly, how can someone be that delusional?

@Raymond Martinez4 My nephew actually told me I could go ahead and suck on a Gastal for a stomachache. Honestly—is that even advice you can take seriously?

Look, why can't she just admit she had no clue what kind of ward it was? And the whole "I don't live here" thing is irrelevant. She's speaking American!

Honestly, it drives me absolutely insane how everyone—and I mean *everyone*, from random strangers to people I actually know—is constantly pestering me about what I’m carrying! And when I try to be vague because I don't have an answer ready, they just jump straight to these ridiculous assumptions. Like, if they can only see my face, they're all like, "Oh, it's definitely a boy," or if they catch a glimpse of my bump, they go, "Must be a guy!" or "Aww, you're such a pretty expectant mom!" It's always a boy, apparently! I swear, if I have to hear one more unsolicited guess, I might actually lose it.

I mean, come on, I have never once gone through my entire life asking anyone else what they're pregnant with!!! Ugh, seriously, it's so annoying.🙂🙂🙂

And god, it is so freaking hot. I am sweating constantly, and the worst part is... there's still seven months to go...😕

I’ve been reading through all of this. 🙂
Heartburn is a nightmare for me too. I’ve tried Tums a few times, but mostly I just stick to baking soda to settle my stomach. 🙂
It really gets under my skin sometimes—like when I’m at the checkout line at Target, needing to grab groceries, and there’s a massive line. Suddenly, a side register opens up, and people just aggressively cut right in front of me. It’s incredibly rude, especially since I have a toddler in the shopping cart and I’m eight or nine months pregnant. Total lack of manners. And whenever I'm waiting in line anywhere, the cashiers never bother to say, "Excuse me, pregnant women get priority," because nobody thinks to give me the courtesy. You’d think there would be some kind of rule or social standard that pregnant women and people with disabilities should be prioritized. Yet, you have these people cutting in everywhere and then complaining about how disrespectful the younger generation is. Hello? You’re the perfect example of that!
SORRY, but pregnancy just makes me way more irritable. 🙂

Jacob Baker8 I learned during my pregnancy that people around me actually care quite a bit about the fact that I was expecting, specifically regarding how their own words or actions might impact my well-being. I have gone through exactly what you are describing, and unfortunately, the only way to deal with it is to be somewhat unapologetic—if you'll excuse my bluntness. 😉

Honestly, I’m more shocked that people don't even know what postpartum diaphoresis is than I am by someone smoking while pregnant. 🙂

It’s just frustrating having to wait hours at the hospital and go through endless tests. You end up feeling like nothing but a patient.

On top of that, my heart starts racing like crazy just from walking up a flight of stairs.

God, it's exhausting.

So, I finally had my first "skip the line" moment at the grocery store today. It was just two retirees with a couple of items, and honestly, I only had three things myself, so I didn't mind. At least I got to experience it! Later on, though, some lady at the post office almost trampled me because she’s disabled and has priority. Whatever, let her be.
It's also getting pretty annoying being at doctor's offices constantly lately; flu season is officially here, which means endless, frustrating tests.
And you know what else is irritating? Seeing how much gray hair I've gotten.

Honestly, I’m about to lose my mind.. 😢

But that’s not actually what I wanted to vent about... what really got under my skin—and totally caught me off guard—was how my mother-in-law is acting while I'm dealing with this high-risk pregnancy. Luckily, I finally blew off some steam between yesterday and today, so I'll try to keep this post calm—if I had written this yesterday, I probably would've been reported for half the things I said.

Look, I know she isn't exactly an emotional person, and I know she tends to ignore us—plus, my husband has a much better relationship with my mom than he does with his own—but sometimes her behavior just leaves me speechless...

Let’s break this down. The cleaning lady I hire when things get desperate has been sick for a while and can't help me out, and since I'm dealing with pregnancy complications, I'm strictly forbidden from scrubbing floors. My mom raised me to be a total neat freak, but my mother-in-law tells me I’m going to wear through the floor tiles if I scrub any harder—she just has a completely different approach to hygiene. My mom taught me that you do deep cleans before major holidays like Christmas or Easter, or whenever the seasons change. Those are just facts.

My MIL cooks because *she* wants to, not because we asked—but whatever, that's a whole other issue... meanwhile, my mom has been doing our cleaning, organizing, laundry, ironing, and everything else since I haven't been able to. While I was stuck in the hospital, my husband called my mom—who lives on the other side of town—saying he didn't have any clean underwear, even though his own mother lives right one floor below him. I think that pretty much says everything about who he feels more connected to.

So, yesterday, my MIL whipped up some canned chili for the nth time—basically a 20-minute lunch. My mom has been coming over for days to do a massive pre-Easter deep clean and is ironing the laundry we run in between. When she went up to the attic yesterday, she saw a huge pile of freshly laundered clothes and assumed they were ours—but they weren't. We only ran one load, and that was mostly just my husband's t-shirts. My dear mother-in-law scooped up her own laundry from the attic and ironed it herself, leaving our/my husband's pile for my mom to deal with.

I feel so bad for my mom because last time she finished cleaning, she collapsed onto the couch here from sheer exhaustion. I want to help her, but both she and my husband won't let me, while my MIL is being a complete nightmare. When I was in the hospital, I was the one cooking for everyone, washing and ironing all her laundry, and making sure the house was spotless—I did a full deep clean for her. And yet, she can't even spare the effort to iron one single load of t-shirts for my mom and her own son.

If she hadn't taken her laundry, I wouldn't say anything—I'd just assume she didn't realize our stuff was there. But this time, I know she saw it and intentionally ignored it. And then she has the nerve to act shocked and deeply offended when my husband is sweet to my mom and ignores her... yeah, okay, venting over.

I've decided that once the baby is born, she won't be cooking for us anymore. I only allowed it to keep the peace in the house, under the condition that since I'm breastfeeding, I won't be eating her food, so I'll take over the cooking for us—because I actually enjoy it and it's not a chore for me.

It would be nice if everyone could just guess what the baby's name is going to be. But let's be real—that’s never happening. 🙂

cosmiccrane15 said:Honestly, I’m about to lose my mind.. 😢

But that’s not actually what I wanted to vent about... what really got under my skin—and totally caught me off guard—was how my mother-in-law is acting while I'm dealing with this high-risk pregnancy. Luckily, I finally blew off some steam between yesterday and today, so I'll try to keep this post calm—if I had written this yesterday, I probably would've been reported for half the things I said.

Look, I know she isn't exactly an emotional person, and I know she tends to ignore us—plus, my husband has a much better relationship with my mom than he does with his own—but sometimes her behavior just leaves me speechless...

Let’s break this down. The cleaning lady I hire when things get desperate has been sick for a while and can't help me out, and since I'm dealing with pregnancy complications, I'm strictly forbidden from scrubbing floors. My mom raised me to be a total neat freak, but my mother-in-law tells me I’m going to wear through the floor tiles if I scrub any harder—she just has a completely different approach to hygiene. My mom taught me that you do deep cleans before major holidays like Christmas or Easter, or whenever the seasons change. Those are just facts.

My MIL cooks because *she* wants to, not because we asked—but whatever, that's a whole other issue... meanwhile, my mom has been doing our cleaning, organizing, laundry, ironing, and everything else since I haven't been able to. While I was stuck in the hospital, my husband called my mom—who lives on the other side of town—saying he didn't have any clean underwear, even though his own mother lives right one floor below him. I think that pretty much says everything about who he feels more connected to.

So, yesterday, my MIL whipped up some canned chili for the nth time—basically a 20-minute lunch. My mom has been coming over for days to do a massive pre-Easter deep clean and is ironing the laundry we run in between. When she went up to the attic yesterday, she saw a huge pile of freshly laundered clothes and assumed they were ours—but they weren't. We only ran one load, and that was mostly just my husband's t-shirts. My dear mother-in-law scooped up her own laundry from the attic and ironed it herself, leaving our/my husband's pile for my mom to deal with.

I feel so bad for my mom because last time she finished cleaning, she collapsed onto the couch here from sheer exhaustion. I want to help her, but both she and my husband won't let me, while my MIL is being a complete nightmare. When I was in the hospital, I was the one cooking for everyone, washing and ironing all her laundry, and making sure the house was spotless—I did a full deep clean for her. And yet, she can't even spare the effort to iron one single load of t-shirts for my mom and her own son.

If she hadn't taken her laundry, I wouldn't say anything—I'd just assume she didn't realize our stuff was there. But this time, I know she saw it and intentionally ignored it. And then she has the nerve to act shocked and deeply offended when my husband is sweet to my mom and ignores her... yeah, okay, venting over.

I've decided that once the baby is born, she won't be cooking for us anymore. I only allowed it to keep the peace in the house, under the condition that since I'm breastfeeding, I won't be eating her food, so I'll take over the cooking for us—because I actually enjoy it and it's not a chore for me.

Jesus, that sounds awful. You made the right call, though it won't be easy; ultimately, you need to be your own little family unit. If that's the kind of mother-in-law she is, it's better that you stay completely independent, because who knows what she might bring up during an argument later on. Hang in there. 🙂

cosmiccrane15—my mother-in-law was just as malicious. During my first pregnancy, specifically in my fifth month, I had to have emergency appendicitis surgery. It was life-threatening, but knock on wood, everything turned out fine and that baby is fourteen years old now.🙂I spent about twenty days in the hospital, and once I got home to stay with my mother-in-law, I was supposed to be on strict bed rest. Since it was a large house and my mother-in-law was blind and ill, she didn't let that stop her from making my life miserable. She forced me to clean the house while my husband was at work and my father-in-law was away on vacation. To make a long story short, one day she pressured me into mopping the floors in that massive two-story house, and I did it just to keep the peace. I nearly lost the baby because of that forced labor. That evening, I went into intense contractions and couldn't even get out of bed. I was terrified. I cursed that day, but more importantly, I realized you have to prioritize yourself and your baby above all else. No one else matters. You need to stand your ground and show her who's boss. Some women can be incredibly heartless, even when they dealt with their own mothers-in-law. It makes no sense.
Yes, I was at the hospital yesterday for a checkup at 39 weeks. We pregnant women were stuck standing in line for about 35 minutes just waiting for the nurse to process our paperwork. There wasn't a single seat available because some women bring their entire families to appointments. Those family members just sit there comfortably, and none of them think to stand up so a pregnant woman can sit down. It was awful. My back and lower abdomen were killing me. Yesterday, only one woman had her mom, dad, and husband with her—which is already way too much. Another woman brought two friends. It's fine, but creating that kind of crowd shouldn't be allowed.

Oh, I forgot to mention one more thing about my mother-in-law. While I was out picking up a baby bathtub, she actually told me I was wasting my money and being totally frivolous. Her reasoning? She thinks the baby can just be bathed in the toilet.
WHAT???

I was honestly so caught off guard by these period-like cramps during my pregnancy, and I’ve just had this constant, nagging feeling like I might actually leak or something (not that I didn't freak out until I scrolled through this forum and realized everyone goes through it)
It's kind of funny because whenever I'm catching up with my girlfriends, my mom, or even my mother-in-law, nobody ever mentions any of these other little "joys" of being pregnant besides the usual nausea🙄
And ugh, if I’m being totally honest, the way I am getting soooooooo incredibly irritable over every little thing is driving me nuts—my mood swings are just absolutely wild right now, ugh🙂

Look, ladies, don't get me wrong—she isn't forcing me to do anything, and I'm certainly not obligated to do her work. My mom and my husband handle everything, and she stays out of it. What really gets under my skin is how she plays the victim—always acting so deeply offended, wounded, and in tears just because someone ignores her for a second—yet she refuses to do anything to actually earn people's respect. Then, suddenly, everyone else is the villain for giving her a wide berth (even her own son).
And honestly? She’s worse than a backseat driver when it comes to lecturing everyone; she sticks her nose into everything, but the second it's time to actually step up and help—poof, she's nowhere to be found.

What really stung was seeing her completely ignore her own son's needs—I mean, it was mostly his laundry—right when I was totally overwhelmed. I'm not saying I *need* her to wash or iron my stuff, thank you very much, but the fact that she couldn't just help him out... especially since she bought her own laundry anyway!!! She could have easily tossed those few shirts in with hers.

@anpi, don't be mad at me, but honestly, your husband can probably handle the laundry himself. My guy didn't even know how to turn on the washing machine until I finally snapped and told him there was no way an engineer could be this clueless about basic appliances. This was back when I was early in my pregnancy; I was working quite far away, so I was staying with my dad since he lives right near my office. Once I walked him through the laundry process, he just looked at me and asked, "Is that it?" And yeah, that was it! He’s been ironing his own clothes ever since, even though his mom lives just two streets over. It shouldn't be such a huge ordeal to iron a work shirt, 🙄
. You're probably just used to a mother-in-law who won't lift a finger for her own kid and would rather leave you to fend for yourself. You've got to teach him to save both you and your mom the trouble—especially if his mom never taught him these things in the first place. ☕
Besides, I never had to do a ton of housework at my mom's house either. We started from the exact same place, so we can figure this out together.

It’s driving me crazy—I’m eight months along and feel like I have to pee every twenty minutes. And then you get people asking, "Oh, are you going to the bathroom often?" Yeah, no kidding... before I even head out for a walk, I have to scout out every single restroom on my route just so I can hop from one to the next. 🙂

Alex Castillo said:@anpi, don't be mad at me, but honestly, your husband can probably handle the laundry himself. My guy didn't even know how to turn on the washing machine until I finally snapped and told him there was no way an engineer could be this clueless about basic appliances. This was back when I was early in my pregnancy; I was working quite far away, so I was staying with my dad since he lives right near my office. Once I walked him through the laundry process, he just looked at me and asked, "Is that it?" And yeah, that was it! He’s been ironing his own clothes ever since, even though his mom lives just two streets over. It shouldn't be such a huge ordeal to iron a work shirt, 🙄
. You're probably just used to a mother-in-law who won't lift a finger for her own kid and would rather leave you to fend for yourself. You've got to teach him to save both you and your mom the trouble—especially if his mom never taught him these things in the first place. ☕
Besides, I never had to do a ton of housework at my mom's house either. We started from the exact same place, so we can figure this out together.

All five of them, honey—I totally get where you're coming from. He handles basically everything at home while my mom isn't around—dishes, laundry, vacuuming...
Okay, he doesn't iron—that's the one thing. He could, I guess, but my mom spares him from that. I honestly felt so bad for my mom because she actually passed out from exhaustion on our couch here, while my mother-in-law just wanders into Walmart three times a day because she's bored. Literally!!!
But if you actually heard her, you'd understand why this gets under my skin so much.
For example, a few days ago, we were all talking about how we need to mulch the flower beds around the house soon, and there she goes—acting like she’ll have it done in five minutes. That was like ten days ago. She hasn't touched the garden since.
silentraven6 says he'll take care of it, but no—not him, she'll do it, or he won't know how, blah, blah... so nothing gets done, and then he just plays the victim later.
There's plenty more I won't even list, but what really bugs me is how she constantly interferes whenever we try to do something ourselves—which isn't even necessary—yet when there's actual work she could help with? Nothing. THAT is what drives me crazy.

I totally hear you 😘
Everything just seems to be getting on my nerves lately 😠

Lately, it feels like every single person I run into is constantly breathing down my neck, telling me stuff like "WATCH THAT BABY" or having my relatives go all crazy with the "PROTECT OUR LITTLE ONE!!" vibes. Honestly, I don't even get it... like, what am I supposed to be, some kind of surrogate mother or something?!! Tiger Woods🙂

cosmiccrane15 said:All five of them, honey—I totally get where you're coming from. He handles basically everything at home while my mom isn't around—dishes, laundry, vacuuming...
Okay, he doesn't iron—that's the one thing. He could, I guess, but my mom spares him from that. I honestly felt so bad for my mom because she actually passed out from exhaustion on our couch here, while my mother-in-law just wanders into Walmart three times a day because she's bored. Literally!!!
But if you actually heard her, you'd understand why this gets under my skin so much.
For example, a few days ago, we were all talking about how we need to mulch the flower beds around the house soon, and there she goes—acting like she’ll have it done in five minutes. That was like ten days ago. She hasn't touched the garden since.
silentraven6 says he'll take care of it, but no—not him, she'll do it, or he won't know how, blah, blah... so nothing gets done, and then he just plays the victim later.
There's plenty more I won't even list, but what really bugs me is how she constantly interferes whenever we try to do something ourselves—which isn't even necessary—yet when there's actual work she could help with? Nothing. THAT is what drives me crazy.

Yes, 🙂 that's proof enough that you need to live as far away from parents as possible... both yours and his, because that's just how it is, honey. 🙂 Sometimes it's hard without them, but it's much easier than living with them, no matter how good they are. It's a generational clash no matter how you look at it. I know some people can't afford to move away from their parents, but if you can make it happen, you should.
It's obvious your mother-in-law loves playing the victim. Just let her be; let her cry if she wants to...😁
Man, everything is getting on my nerves lately. I surprise myself with how much I'm grumbling around the house. I'm lucky my husband realizes it; whenever I start complaining or counting my grievances, he just stays quiet and tunes out, and so does our daughter 🙄. Just the other day, while I was lying in my room, I heard my husband telling the little one that I'm just on edge because I have to give birth, so she should just let me vent and not pick fights with me for no reason... hehe, that immediately threw me off, but I took a breath and told myself, "Yeah, he's right."
I'll probably still be irritable when I bring the baby home from the hospital, too. At least last time I was 😕 and that lasted for about a month...