What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

Andrew Hill8 said:To be totally blunt, it's my mother-in-law who's really riding my back, and she gave birth like 40 years ago...🙄
She claims she didn't have any pains during her pregnancy at all, so she uses that to tell me I'm doing something wrong, which is just so annoying...
As for me, I’ve been feeling stuff for a few days now (I'm 18 weeks along, though the ultrasound shows the baby is actually about 2 weeks ahead of schedule), but I can't tell if it's just gas, my intestines acting up, or the actual baby...🤷
How on earth are you supposed to tell the difference when everything just feels the same?😁
I get this sensation where I feel dizzy and lightheaded, almost like my stomach tightens up suddenly and then just goes limp, and I'm low-key terrified it's not just Braxton Hicks.
I'll definitely be pestering my OB-GYN with a million questions this Monday.😳

I knew it was the baby because it felt deep inside the uterus, and since I'm carrying low, I know it isn't near the navel... so I can't mistake it for gas or bowel movements.

As for the mother-in-law... I won't say much, she deserves her own thread, but I've put her on "ignore" and I honestly don't care anymore. Just trust your doctor. As long as they tell you everything is fine, tune out the mothers-in-law, the aunts, the friends... I had real issues. I was on bed rest for two months and can only just now start leaving the house occasionally. I dealt with plenty of unsolicited "advice"... I'm just praying my doctor clears me from bed rest at the next checkup so I don't have to depend on anyone.

silentbison17 said:I knew it was the baby because it felt deep inside the uterus, and since I'm carrying low, I know it isn't near the navel... so I can't mistake it for gas or bowel movements.

As for the mother-in-law... I won't say much, she deserves her own thread, but I've put her on "ignore" and I honestly don't care anymore. Just trust your doctor. As long as they tell you everything is fine, tune out the mothers-in-law, the aunts, the friends... I had real issues. I was on bed rest for two months and can only just now start leaving the house occasionally. I dealt with plenty of unsolicited "advice"... I'm just praying my doctor clears me from bed rest at the next checkup so I don't have to depend on anyone.

Mother-in-laws definitely deserve their own dedicated topic😂
Honestly, I’m not stressing about anything, I'm just letting things happen naturally, I just wish people would stop poking their noses into my pregnancy business, it's so annoying🙂
Just wait until the baby actually arrives, then the meddling is going to hit a whole new level😲😁
So, do you live with your mother-in-law or do you guys have your own place?
P.S. I totally get how hard it is having been on bed rest, and I know how crappy it feels to have to rely on someone else for everything, especially since my own mother-in-law is already telling me how she’s going to handle all the cooking once the baby comes...
Well, if it turns out great, I'll have plenty of time to cook however I want anyway☕

Andrew Hill8 said:Mother-in-laws definitely deserve their own dedicated topic😂
Honestly, I’m not stressing about anything, I'm just letting things happen naturally, I just wish people would stop poking their noses into my pregnancy business, it's so annoying🙂
Just wait until the baby actually arrives, then the meddling is going to hit a whole new level😲😁
So, do you live with your mother-in-law or do you guys have your own place?
P.S. I totally get how hard it is having been on bed rest, and I know how crappy it feels to have to rely on someone else for everything, especially since my own mother-in-law is already telling me how she’s going to handle all the cooking once the baby comes...
Well, if it turns out great, I'll have plenty of time to cook however I want anyway☕

😁 I’m already looking forward to being treated like royalty once the baby arrives. Honestly, I can't wait for everyone to start hovering and catering to my every whim while I recover.
I leave all the cooking to my mom. 😍
Maybe it helps that my mother-in-law lives about 7,500 miles away.

Honestly, I just realized nothing is actually getting under my skin right now... except for the fact that I actually have to work. If it were up to me, I’d just spend the whole day wandering around Target or Nordstrom, browsing through the baby aisles and obsessing over tiny little onesies and soft stuff.

Andrew Hill8 said:Mother-in-laws definitely deserve their own dedicated topic😂
Honestly, I’m not stressing about anything, I'm just letting things happen naturally, I just wish people would stop poking their noses into my pregnancy business, it's so annoying🙂
Just wait until the baby actually arrives, then the meddling is going to hit a whole new level😲😁
So, do you live with your mother-in-law or do you guys have your own place?
P.S. I totally get how hard it is having been on bed rest, and I know how crappy it feels to have to rely on someone else for everything, especially since my own mother-in-law is already telling me how she’s going to handle all the cooking once the baby comes...
Well, if it turns out great, I'll have plenty of time to cook however I want anyway☕

We're on our own. Living in a tiny ground-floor apartment, while the in-laws live right nearby in their own house...
But everyone keeps to their own home, which is a blessing...
I wouldn't trade my peace for anything. We'll manage in our 300 square feet... at least we'll be our own family!

cosmiccrane15 said:I’ve spent seven damn years being a total jealous, possessive mess whenever my partner goes out to work—I know, I’m a disaster. And now, because of this baby, I’m just staying quiet, keeping to myself, and brooding internally... but why the hell does everyone around me insist on guilt-tripping me all day long? I was actually being totally cool for once, but they won't let it go. They keep asking why I'm like this, why I'm so jealous, and why I'm "hurting" the baby—claiming the kid is gonna end up autistic or slow or withdrawn or whatever—until I finally snap and break down into tears.

I mean, what the hell is wrong with people? Instead of just leaving me alone, they spend the entire day rubbing salt in the wound, and then when I finally buckle under the constant pressure, it’s like, “A-HA! See? There she goes again, crying and making a scene!”

I mean, honestly, who wouldn't lose it after twelve hours of pure torture, listening to people lecture me about what's going to happen to my baby just because they think I'm some kind of unstable person?!

Hang in there, girl. It sounds like pregnancy is hitting you hard right now. 🙂

Just eat your whole foods and cry as much as you need to. Vent here on the forum if you have to... we get it.

...I found myself getting really anxious during my pregnancy whenever I heard about someone else having complications, even if it was just a passing mention on the news
...later on, I actually started cutting people off mid-sentence if I sensed they were heading toward that topic, telling them straight up that I didn't want to hear it... ☕

zvrck you'll eventually find time to get some cooking done...😉

I ended up overhearing all sorts of stories too, though by the end, I was basically handling everything at home on my own (aside from the heavy lifting or anything too physically taxing)... it takes a few days to find your rhythm, but things settle down eventually. Once the baby naps, you just dive back into your tasks... if you're having a rough day, a good sandwich or ordering takeout definitely helps 😁

...that bit about sleep is true ( 🤣 ), but you adapt to it pretty quickly; there's really no need to overreact or scare pregnant women with those kinds of stories...

I’ve been dealing with constant nausea from the moment I wake up until I go to bed. I’m hungry like I haven't eaten in five years, yet there isn't a single thing that sounds good; if I actually manage to eat anything, I feel sick immediately.
Then there's the fact that I have to hold off on sex, which will probably be off the table for months.
On top of that, I feel like I'm stuck in a permanent state of PMS—just constantly starving, irritable, moody, and looking for any excuse to start an argument.
The endless list of restrictions is driving me crazy. I can't eat this or that, I can't smoke, I can't go out, I can't hit a concert, I can't deal with the cold, and I can't even take a bath. It's exhausting when my doctor tells me one thing, then I read something completely different online, and when I call a friend for advice, she suggests a third option. To make matters worse, my boyfriend just adds insult to injury by telling me not to worry because everything will just work itself out 😕 though I honestly feel like he doesn't even grasp what I'm going through; he's just babbling so he can say something.
But what really gets under my skin are certain people who don't see anything wrong with my (unexpected) pregnancy. They expect me to just flip a switch, drop everything—college, my hobbies, my social life—and focus solely on the baby. When I express how terrified I am about balancing my exams and finishing my degree, they act like I'm being irrational for worrying about things that aren't "important" compared to the baby.
It shouldn't be this hard to understand that this was unplanned and it has completely disrupted my life. I'm not trying to abandon my goals; I need support so I can actually achieve them while pregnant. Instead, I mostly get told that once the baby arrives, nothing else will matter anyway.
Is it really that difficult to realize that I DON'T want to give up on the life I've built just because of a pregnancy?
Jesus, when I had some spotting at six weeks and was told to just rest until my next appointment, I was panicking because I have two midterms coming up. And of course, I'm told I shouldn't stress about school because I should just "enjoy myself" and gain weight. It feels impossible to prove I'm not just a mindless eating machine; apparently, I'm supposed to keep snacking constantly since I can't diet, but then if I develop gestational diabetes or the baby is born underweight because I overindulged, I'll just get more judgment.
When I mentioned needing prenatal vitamins, the response was, "Why bother? Just wait for fresh veggies from the garden; those pills never did anyone any good, I had a perfectly healthy baby."
And my favorite piece of logic: "Don't get stressed," because apparently, that's incredibly easy to control! I'll just tell myself to stop being stressed and problem solved, right? They claim the baby feels and hears everything. The baby doesn't even have ears yet—it's just a head, arms, and legs with a heart that only recently started beating—but sure, it's listening to every word I say.
I know they mean well, and maybe this unsolicited advice is just their clumsy way of trying to comfort me, but honestly, it isn't helping.
Now they're already guessing the gender. 🤦 Since I haven't broken out in acne, they're convinced it's a boy. Seriously? Not every pregnant woman has been covered in blemishes and felt like they were losing their looks.

Roger Rodriguez said:I’ve been dealing with constant nausea from the moment I wake up until I go to bed. I’m hungry like I haven't eaten in five years, yet there isn't a single thing that sounds good; if I actually manage to eat anything, I feel sick immediately.
Then there's the fact that I have to hold off on sex, which will probably be off the table for months.
On top of that, I feel like I'm stuck in a permanent state of PMS—just constantly starving, irritable, moody, and looking for any excuse to start an argument.
The endless list of restrictions is driving me crazy. I can't eat this or that, I can't smoke, I can't go out, I can't hit a concert, I can't deal with the cold, and I can't even take a bath. It's exhausting when my doctor tells me one thing, then I read something completely different online, and when I call a friend for advice, she suggests a third option. To make matters worse, my boyfriend just adds insult to injury by telling me not to worry because everything will just work itself out 😕 though I honestly feel like he doesn't even grasp what I'm going through; he's just babbling so he can say something.
But what really gets under my skin are certain people who don't see anything wrong with my (unexpected) pregnancy. They expect me to just flip a switch, drop everything—college, my hobbies, my social life—and focus solely on the baby. When I express how terrified I am about balancing my exams and finishing my degree, they act like I'm being irrational for worrying about things that aren't "important" compared to the baby.
It shouldn't be this hard to understand that this was unplanned and it has completely disrupted my life. I'm not trying to abandon my goals; I need support so I can actually achieve them while pregnant. Instead, I mostly get told that once the baby arrives, nothing else will matter anyway.
Is it really that difficult to realize that I DON'T want to give up on the life I've built just because of a pregnancy?
Jesus, when I had some spotting at six weeks and was told to just rest until my next appointment, I was panicking because I have two midterms coming up. And of course, I'm told I shouldn't stress about school because I should just "enjoy myself" and gain weight. It feels impossible to prove I'm not just a mindless eating machine; apparently, I'm supposed to keep snacking constantly since I can't diet, but then if I develop gestational diabetes or the baby is born underweight because I overindulged, I'll just get more judgment.
When I mentioned needing prenatal vitamins, the response was, "Why bother? Just wait for fresh veggies from the garden; those pills never did anyone any good, I had a perfectly healthy baby."
And my favorite piece of logic: "Don't get stressed," because apparently, that's incredibly easy to control! I'll just tell myself to stop being stressed and problem solved, right? They claim the baby feels and hears everything. The baby doesn't even have ears yet—it's just a head, arms, and legs with a heart that only recently started beating—but sure, it's listening to every word I say.
I know they mean well, and maybe this unsolicited advice is just their clumsy way of trying to comfort me, but honestly, it isn't helping.
Now they're already guessing the gender. 🤦 Since I haven't broken out in acne, they're convinced it's a boy. Seriously? Not every pregnant woman has been covered in blemishes and felt like they were losing their looks.

First off—this is my second pregnancy, and it's a girl again, but my symptoms are completely different from the first time. So, there's no rule or connection between symptoms and gender.
Secondly—this pregnancy wasn't exactly part of the master plan, which doesn't mean you didn't want it, but OF COURSE you need some time to process everything and wrap your head around the idea. All those immediate plans and your vision for the near future are shifting right now, and that’s a massive shock to the system. Plus, I bet just two months ago, you wouldn't have dreamed that you wouldn't be able to hit up a concert this summer or go rafting with friends. It makes total sense that you feel lost right now, unsure of where you stand or what comes next. I ended up pregnant at 26; I was already married, and we had planned for it to happen maybe in six months to a year, but when it happened, everything got thrown out of whack. I was incredibly anxious, so I can only imagine how you're feeling...
I really believe things will eventually settle for you. With a little bit of distance, you'll probably look back one day and realize the people around you were actually right with their advice. But honestly, none of us have an "off" switch for being stressed. These are just phases you have to move through. The main thing is that your guy is by your side and supporting you, along with everyone else telling you, "Hey, don't worry, it'll all work out." That's a million times better than having people ask, "How did you let this happen?" or "What are you going to do about college?"
There's one rule: if three different people tell a pregnant woman the exact same thing, that thing becomes extremely irritating

Roger Rodriguez said:I’ve been dealing with constant nausea from the moment I wake up until I go to bed. I’m hungry like I haven't eaten in five years, yet there isn't a single thing that sounds good; if I actually manage to eat anything, I feel sick immediately.
Then there's the fact that I have to hold off on sex, which will probably be off the table for months.
On top of that, I feel like I'm stuck in a permanent state of PMS—just constantly starving, irritable, moody, and looking for any excuse to start an argument.
The endless list of restrictions is driving me crazy. I can't eat this or that, I can't smoke, I can't go out, I can't hit a concert, I can't deal with the cold, and I can't even take a bath. It's exhausting when my doctor tells me one thing, then I read something completely different online, and when I call a friend for advice, she suggests a third option. To make matters worse, my boyfriend just adds insult to injury by telling me not to worry because everything will just work itself out 😕 though I honestly feel like he doesn't even grasp what I'm going through; he's just babbling so he can say something.
But what really gets under my skin are certain people who don't see anything wrong with my (unexpected) pregnancy. They expect me to just flip a switch, drop everything—college, my hobbies, my social life—and focus solely on the baby. When I express how terrified I am about balancing my exams and finishing my degree, they act like I'm being irrational for worrying about things that aren't "important" compared to the baby.
It shouldn't be this hard to understand that this was unplanned and it has completely disrupted my life. I'm not trying to abandon my goals; I need support so I can actually achieve them while pregnant. Instead, I mostly get told that once the baby arrives, nothing else will matter anyway.
Is it really that difficult to realize that I DON'T want to give up on the life I've built just because of a pregnancy?
Jesus, when I had some spotting at six weeks and was told to just rest until my next appointment, I was panicking because I have two midterms coming up. And of course, I'm told I shouldn't stress about school because I should just "enjoy myself" and gain weight. It feels impossible to prove I'm not just a mindless eating machine; apparently, I'm supposed to keep snacking constantly since I can't diet, but then if I develop gestational diabetes or the baby is born underweight because I overindulged, I'll just get more judgment.
When I mentioned needing prenatal vitamins, the response was, "Why bother? Just wait for fresh veggies from the garden; those pills never did anyone any good, I had a perfectly healthy baby."
And my favorite piece of logic: "Don't get stressed," because apparently, that's incredibly easy to control! I'll just tell myself to stop being stressed and problem solved, right? They claim the baby feels and hears everything. The baby doesn't even have ears yet—it's just a head, arms, and legs with a heart that only recently started beating—but sure, it's listening to every word I say.
I know they mean well, and maybe this unsolicited advice is just their clumsy way of trying to comfort me, but honestly, it isn't helping.
Now they're already guessing the gender. 🤦 Since I haven't broken out in acne, they're convinced it's a boy. Seriously? Not every pregnant woman has been covered in blemishes and felt like they were losing their looks.

Look, I honestly have to say something here—and look, I get it, you’re clearly going through it right now and feeling super sensitive, but maybe just take a breath for a second? This whole post is just radiating pure frustration and anger, and honestly, you should've really sat with that before deciding to vent about this being an "unplanned pregnancy." You kept emphasizing how unplanned it was like it's some huge piece of context, but the truth is—and I hate to be the one to say it—it doesn't actually matter. At the end of the day, there's a baby, and that's what counts. You should be leaning into the happiness of it, especially since so many people out there would give anything to be in your shoes.

Look, you don't have to totally write off who you are—your goals, your drive, all of it—just because this is happening. But crying over missing concerts? Seriously? Pregnancy lasts nine months—about 40 weeks, if my memory serves me right—not sixty years. Just hang in there and things will settle down. Even if this is your only kid and you feel like you're stuck playing housewife inside four walls, hating your life and the whole world... chill. And that "I'm not some damn baby factory or a machine meant to just eat and gain weight" line? Are you kidding me? Is that really how you view every other pregnant woman out there? Honestly, that part gave me actual chills.

It’s so funny how frustrated you got because you had two midterms to prep for—meanwhile, imagine if I’d been bleeding at six weeks and was told I HAD to stay on bed rest. Like, oh no, everyone is just being so stupid and doesn't understand you, right? 😕

My advice? Grow up. Once you finally realize that you can actually handle your college work, your job, going to shows, and everything else you care about while *also* being a mom who loves her kid and celebrates every little thing they do, maybe then the rest of the world will get it too.

Roger Rodriguez, I get that this was quite a shock to the system and you need some time to process everything.
Personally, I wouldn't make a huge production out of being pregnant; honestly, people who aren't involved don't really need to know.

As for lifestyle changes, provided everything progresses normally—and despite that bleeding at 6 weeks, there’s no reason why things shouldn't turn out fine—you don't actually have to give up much. I mean, horseback riding and water skiing are fine, and while maybe rock climbing isn't the best idea, you can still do a massive amount of stuff, especially once the morning sickness passes and you hit the 30+ week mark.

Since I'm quite a bit older than you, I've tried just about everything: snorkeling, hiking, running, and I worked full-time until 38 weeks during my first pregnancy. Now, at 32 weeks, I'm still working, doing yoga, and even more intense workouts. I drive, play with my little girl, and we run around the backyard together. I still go out, too—though I went out more during my first pregnancy since I didn't have a toddler running around, but I certainly don't act like a shut-in.

In short: ignore the unsolicited advice. Find one reliable doctor or a good book to turn to when you have doubts (or this forum 😁), and don't let yourself get stressed or dragged into debates about what you "should" be doing.

On topic: nothing really gets under my skin too much (except when nobody offers me a seat on the bus 😁). I was a bit surprised that this pregnancy has been physically tougher than my first. The nausea was more intense and lasted longer, and I feel much more clumsy; I'm carrying lower now, and my back aches more. Plus, I have a 35-pound kid who still thinks she's a "little baby." Also, even though the nausea has subsided, food just doesn't taste the same; it's just not hitting the spot.

*That said, everything has been great since the first trimester. Nothing was worse than that initial combination of exhaustion and nausea.

Nathan Lee said:First off—this is my second pregnancy, and it's a girl again, but my symptoms are completely different from the first time. So, there's no rule or connection between symptoms and gender.
Secondly—this pregnancy wasn't exactly part of the master plan, which doesn't mean you didn't want it, but OF COURSE you need some time to process everything and wrap your head around the idea. All those immediate plans and your vision for the near future are shifting right now, and that’s a massive shock to the system. Plus, I bet just two months ago, you wouldn't have dreamed that you wouldn't be able to hit up a concert this summer or go rafting with friends. It makes total sense that you feel lost right now, unsure of where you stand or what comes next. I ended up pregnant at 26; I was already married, and we had planned for it to happen maybe in six months to a year, but when it happened, everything got thrown out of whack. I was incredibly anxious, so I can only imagine how you're feeling...
I really believe things will eventually settle for you. With a little bit of distance, you'll probably look back one day and realize the people around you were actually right with their advice. But honestly, none of us have an "off" switch for being stressed. These are just phases you have to move through. The main thing is that your guy is by your side and supporting you, along with everyone else telling you, "Hey, don't worry, it'll all work out." That's a million times better than having people ask, "How did you let this happen?" or "What are you going to do about college?"
There's one rule: if three different people tell a pregnant woman the exact same thing, that thing becomes extremely irritating

I am HOPING that everything settles into place. Honestly, I'm just waiting for that to happen naturally because I can see that I can't force the process, no matter how hard I try. 😁Between my chaos at college and at home, I think if I weren't pregnant, this part of the year would be absolutely miserable and stressful; I'd be a wreck. With these hormones, I'm completely unmanageable. 😵

Arthur Scott said:Look, I honestly have to say something here—and look, I get it, you’re clearly going through it right now and feeling super sensitive, but maybe just take a breath for a second? This whole post is just radiating pure frustration and anger, and honestly, you should've really sat with that before deciding to vent about this being an "unplanned pregnancy." You kept emphasizing how unplanned it was like it's some huge piece of context, but the truth is—and I hate to be the one to say it—it doesn't actually matter. At the end of the day, there's a baby, and that's what counts. You should be leaning into the happiness of it, especially since so many people out there would give anything to be in your shoes.

Look, you don't have to totally write off who you are—your goals, your drive, all of it—just because this is happening. But crying over missing concerts? Seriously? Pregnancy lasts nine months—about 40 weeks, if my memory serves me right—not sixty years. Just hang in there and things will settle down. Even if this is your only kid and you feel like you're stuck playing housewife inside four walls, hating your life and the whole world... chill. And that "I'm not some damn baby factory or a machine meant to just eat and gain weight" line? Are you kidding me? Is that really how you view every other pregnant woman out there? Honestly, that part gave me actual chills.

It’s so funny how frustrated you got because you had two midterms to prep for—meanwhile, imagine if I’d been bleeding at six weeks and was told I HAD to stay on bed rest. Like, oh no, everyone is just being so stupid and doesn't understand you, right? 😕

My advice? Grow up. Once you finally realize that you can actually handle your college work, your job, going to shows, and everything else you care about while *also* being a mom who loves her kid and celebrates every little thing they do, maybe then the rest of the world will get it too.

Look, I don't think you meant anything by it, but the way you're framing this feels a lot like those unsolicited lectures I get from others that just drive me up the wall. "Get a grip," "grow up"—as if that somehow happens overnight, right? I am frustrated, angry, and sad because I feel unprepared and things are genuinely hard. My pregnancy didn't start off smoothly, I have other health issues, and I had to stop my antidepressants cold turkey, so I'm dealing with withdrawal on top of everything else. Because of the pregnancy, I can't turn to medication or even alternative therapies because I'm terrified of messing something up.
And is it really such a crime to want to finish my degree and pass my midterms and finals? It doesn't matter, and I'm not making excuses to anyone about how I got pregnant; it happened to me just like it happened to others who weren't planning for it. I'm not annoyed by the fact that I'm pregnant—I'm annoyed that people are judging me for not putting my entire life on hold, for not moving back home or taking a gap year.
Honestly, it’s revolting when people act like pregnant women are nothing more than child-making factories. That’s exactly why I wrote that I am NOT that, nor are any other pregnant women. I feel like people offering advice about how I should just lie around and gain weight think that's all I am! That was my point, though maybe you misunderstood what I was saying. Basically, I want to maintain a normal life (just like Gary Nguyen45 mentioned below—I don't have to give everything up), yet everyone expects me to abandon everything!
It isn't shameful to admit I'd love to go to a concert or grab dinner out, but I can't because I'm constantly exhausted and can barely stand. That doesn't mean I won't love my baby or that I won't be overjoyed when they smile at me. I don't understand why comments like that are met with such hostility, as if I'm some kind of monster. 😕
I would give anything to be one of those pregnant women who is purely blissful and carefree about the future. But I’m not enjoying this; I’m scared. I'm terrified because I have no idea what's coming, and I approach every doctor's appointment like I'm heading into combat. Maybe my "problem" is that my brain hasn't turned to mush since finding out I'm pregnant. I'm still aware that pregnancy and life afterward aren't always sunshine and rainbows; there are struggles and hardships that might be incredibly difficult to navigate. Instead of pretending everything will just fix itself, I'm trying to stay grounded and realistic so I don't crash when reality hits. There are plenty of us like this—we aren't all walking on sunshine. Some of us are scared and sad (and again, feeling these emotions has nothing to do with how much we will love our child).

Gary Nguyen45 said:Roger Rodriguez, I get that this was quite a shock to the system and you need some time to process everything.
Personally, I wouldn't make a huge production out of being pregnant; honestly, people who aren't involved don't really need to know.

As for lifestyle changes, provided everything progresses normally—and despite that bleeding at 6 weeks, there’s no reason why things shouldn't turn out fine—you don't actually have to give up much. I mean, horseback riding and water skiing are fine, and while maybe rock climbing isn't the best idea, you can still do a massive amount of stuff, especially once the morning sickness passes and you hit the 30+ week mark.

Since I'm quite a bit older than you, I've tried just about everything: snorkeling, hiking, running, and I worked full-time until 38 weeks during my first pregnancy. Now, at 32 weeks, I'm still working, doing yoga, and even more intense workouts. I drive, play with my little girl, and we run around the backyard together. I still go out, too—though I went out more during my first pregnancy since I didn't have a toddler running around, but I certainly don't act like a shut-in.

In short: ignore the unsolicited advice. Find one reliable doctor or a good book to turn to when you have doubts (or this forum 😁), and don't let yourself get stressed or dragged into debates about what you "should" be doing.

On topic: nothing really gets under my skin too much (except when nobody offers me a seat on the bus 😁). I was a bit surprised that this pregnancy has been physically tougher than my first. The nausea was more intense and lasted longer, and I feel much more clumsy; I'm carrying lower now, and my back aches more. Plus, I have a 35-pound kid who still thinks she's a "little baby." Also, even though the nausea has subsided, food just doesn't taste the same; it's just not hitting the spot.

*That said, everything has been great since the first trimester. Nothing was worse than that initial combination of exhaustion and nausea.

I think from now on, I'm only listening to my doctor. 🙂 I've been dealing with some ovarian issues, and when I looked them up online, I almost fainted. Suddenly, fifty different people in my life jumped in with their own "expert" advice, and when they heard I needed tumor markers because of a cyst, I felt like they were already planning my funeral! So, moving forward, I'm keeping things to myself.
I'm trying to act normal, but it's hard because everyone else treats me like I'm fragile, which just makes me feel worse. Meanwhile, I actually know what I can and can't do, even if I am feeling nauseous and sleepy all the time. Thanks for the advice, 🙂

Roger Rodriguez said:I am HOPING that everything settles into place. Honestly, I'm just waiting for that to happen naturally because I can see that I can't force the process, no matter how hard I try. 😁Between my chaos at college and at home, I think if I weren't pregnant, this part of the year would be absolutely miserable and stressful; I'd be a wreck. With these hormones, I'm completely unmanageable. 😵

Look, I don't think you meant anything by it, but the way you're framing this feels a lot like those unsolicited lectures I get from others that just drive me up the wall. "Get a grip," "grow up"—as if that somehow happens overnight, right? I am frustrated, angry, and sad because I feel unprepared and things are genuinely hard. My pregnancy didn't start off smoothly, I have other health issues, and I had to stop my antidepressants cold turkey, so I'm dealing with withdrawal on top of everything else. Because of the pregnancy, I can't turn to medication or even alternative therapies because I'm terrified of messing something up.
And is it really such a crime to want to finish my degree and pass my midterms and finals? It doesn't matter, and I'm not making excuses to anyone about how I got pregnant; it happened to me just like it happened to others who weren't planning for it. I'm not annoyed by the fact that I'm pregnant—I'm annoyed that people are judging me for not putting my entire life on hold, for not moving back home or taking a gap year.
Honestly, it’s revolting when people act like pregnant women are nothing more than child-making factories. That’s exactly why I wrote that I am NOT that, nor are any other pregnant women. I feel like people offering advice about how I should just lie around and gain weight think that's all I am! That was my point, though maybe you misunderstood what I was saying. Basically, I want to maintain a normal life (just like Gary Nguyen45 mentioned below—I don't have to give everything up), yet everyone expects me to abandon everything!
It isn't shameful to admit I'd love to go to a concert or grab dinner out, but I can't because I'm constantly exhausted and can barely stand. That doesn't mean I won't love my baby or that I won't be overjoyed when they smile at me. I don't understand why comments like that are met with such hostility, as if I'm some kind of monster. 😕
I would give anything to be one of those pregnant women who is purely blissful and carefree about the future. But I’m not enjoying this; I’m scared. I'm terrified because I have no idea what's coming, and I approach every doctor's appointment like I'm heading into combat. Maybe my "problem" is that my brain hasn't turned to mush since finding out I'm pregnant. I'm still aware that pregnancy and life afterward aren't always sunshine and rainbows; there are struggles and hardships that might be incredibly difficult to navigate. Instead of pretending everything will just fix itself, I'm trying to stay grounded and realistic so I don't crash when reality hits. There are plenty of us like this—we aren't all walking on sunshine. Some of us are scared and sad (and again, feeling these emotions has nothing to do with how much we will love our child).

Look, if I can deal with it, you can too. I think most women go through these phases; they just don't talk about them or they bury them deep. In fact, aside from what you see in commercials, I don't even know any pregnant women who are just "happy" and glowing with pure, unadulterated joy.
Of course you want to go to concerts and get out of the house. Of course you want your life to not completely flip upside down. 🤷
My emotions are all over the place, swinging from total happiness to straight-up despair about being pregnant. I’m an old soul, and I’ve been thinking for years about how much I’d like to have a kid. Now that it's actually happening, I’m mostly just in shock. 😁

Hang in there. This part sucks. Once you get past this first trimester (hopefully), things should get easier, at least physically, if not mentally.
Like you said, this time of year is stressful enough on its own—finals, midterms, all that—so adding a hormone surge and coming off medication just turns everything up to eleven.

For starters, there will still be concerts in a month or two. Don't let your overbearing relatives talk you into wrapping yourself in black immediately. I’m already prepping for a few shows myself. 😍 I’ve gone out, danced, and jumped around. I run, and I eat whatever the hell I want. I haven't ditched my pets or changed my diet (I don't eat meat and I don't plan to). I puke when I need to puke, and I smile like an idiot. Most importantly? I DON'T TELL EVERYONE EVERYTHING and I DON'T LISTEN TO EVERYONE. When someone starts talking nonsense to me, I just smile and keep my thoughts to myself. Look, you’re pregnant now. Give yourself permission to not be polite or sweet. You don't have to listen to anyone except the people you actually love and trust. And sometimes, you can even tell even *them* to back off and apologize later. Blame it on the hormones.
Trust me, bit by bit, you’re going to find your tribe—those people you actually want to hang out with and share things with.
Things always start looking up after about 11 or 12 weeks. Sending all the good vibes to my fellow strugglers in the trenches. 😬

Man, I’ve gotta say, these dizzy spells have been seriously getting on my nerves lately, like, they've been hanging around for almost a month now, and honestly, most days it feels like I can barely even drag myself into the office at work🙄🙂

Superman, hang in there!
I feel like you just covered everything I forgot to include in my own endless manifesto a few days ago :-)

I wanted this pregnancy more than anything, and we had been planning for it, though we never actually expected it to happen quite this fast—we figured it would be more like six months or a year down the road. So, honestly, nobody was more shocked (or more thrilled) than me when I saw those two lines on the test! I was absolutely bursting with energy and plans; I fully intended to keep up my entire normal routine, staying active, exercising, working right up until forty-five days before my due date, knocking out several grad school exams, making significant progress on my doctoral dissertation, taking one last solo trip to the coast with my husband (my dates are set for September 8th), hitting all the maternity and baby boutiques, and spending plenty of time walking and bonding with my bump, along with a million other things.

And then, practically overnight, I had to abandon everything or put it on indefinite hold because I ended up on strict bed rest, which, wouldn't you know it, has already dragged on for four months...
Don't get me wrong, I would happily spend nine months cemented to a bed if it meant keeping the baby safe!
But the thing is, it isn't easy to accept that your plans, your desires, and your dreams have been shifted or postponed in a single moment... especially when everyone around you assumes that's exactly how a pregnant woman’s brain is supposed to work the second she finds out! It’s incredibly irritating. A human mind isn't a computer with an on/off switch!

Don't listen to anyone; just stick to your own rhythm and things will work out.
For instance, while stuck in bed, I managed to write four seminar papers—I figured, why not get them out of the way for next year?
Yet, somehow, people always find a way to act surprised and insist on their own narrow views—as if I should be exhausting myself now instead of resting and focusing on the baby... Well, I am thinking about the baby constantly, but I’m still me, and I still have room to think about other things too.

And sure, go ahead and criticize me, but I’m one of those people who is considered "overachieving," because I refuse to believe my life stops moving just because I'm giving birth; I still hope to work, to climb the career ladder, finish my graduate studies, tend to my garden, catch a concert or two, and so on.
It really gets under my skin how much people feel the need to constantly convince me that I'm just chasing pipe dreams! It’s almost as if they're rooting for me to fail at my own ambitions.
Look, I expect my life to turn upside down—in fact, it already has—and I know I'll have to put in a massive amount of extra effort and willpower, deal with the financial strain of both my expenses and the baby's, handle the sacrifices, and navigate the need for extreme flexibility in my scheduling.
But if I start "resigning" myself to the idea now that I won't have any time, or that finishing my degree is impossible, then I certainly won't accomplish any of it.

Anyway, I'm rambling again :-)

Gary James17 said:Superman, hang in there!
I feel like you just covered everything I forgot to include in my own endless manifesto a few days ago :-)

I wanted this pregnancy more than anything, and we had been planning for it, though we never actually expected it to happen quite this fast—we figured it would be more like six months or a year down the road. So, honestly, nobody was more shocked (or more thrilled) than me when I saw those two lines on the test! I was absolutely bursting with energy and plans; I fully intended to keep up my entire normal routine, staying active, exercising, working right up until forty-five days before my due date, knocking out several grad school exams, making significant progress on my doctoral dissertation, taking one last solo trip to the coast with my husband (my dates are set for September 8th), hitting all the maternity and baby boutiques, and spending plenty of time walking and bonding with my bump, along with a million other things.

And then, practically overnight, I had to abandon everything or put it on indefinite hold because I ended up on strict bed rest, which, wouldn't you know it, has already dragged on for four months...
Don't get me wrong, I would happily spend nine months cemented to a bed if it meant keeping the baby safe!
But the thing is, it isn't easy to accept that your plans, your desires, and your dreams have been shifted or postponed in a single moment... especially when everyone around you assumes that's exactly how a pregnant woman’s brain is supposed to work the second she finds out! It’s incredibly irritating. A human mind isn't a computer with an on/off switch!

Don't listen to anyone; just stick to your own rhythm and things will work out.
For instance, while stuck in bed, I managed to write four seminar papers—I figured, why not get them out of the way for next year?
Yet, somehow, people always find a way to act surprised and insist on their own narrow views—as if I should be exhausting myself now instead of resting and focusing on the baby... Well, I am thinking about the baby constantly, but I’m still me, and I still have room to think about other things too.

And sure, go ahead and criticize me, but I’m one of those people who is considered "overachieving," because I refuse to believe my life stops moving just because I'm giving birth; I still hope to work, to climb the career ladder, finish my graduate studies, tend to my garden, catch a concert or two, and so on.
It really gets under my skin how much people feel the need to constantly convince me that I'm just chasing pipe dreams! It’s almost as if they're rooting for me to fail at my own ambitions.
Look, I expect my life to turn upside down—in fact, it already has—and I know I'll have to put in a massive amount of extra effort and willpower, deal with the financial strain of both my expenses and the baby's, handle the sacrifices, and navigate the need for extreme flexibility in my scheduling.
But if I start "resigning" myself to the idea now that I won't have any time, or that finishing my degree is impossible, then I certainly won't accomplish any of it.

Anyway, I'm rambling again :-)

That said, success doesn't rest solely on your shoulders (though your mindset and drive are obviously the foundation); it also depends heavily on the child and the support system you have in place.

If you have a healthy baby, a partner who pulls their weight with the chores, and perhaps even extended family willing to step in—then you can accomplish a great deal.

I suspect many women speak from a place of experience where that necessary support simply wasn't there.

If I may offer some advice: a partner should be involved in everything related to the baby as much as possible (I’d say everything, though if you’re breastfeeding, there’s a limit to what he can physically do 😁) right from the start. This approach does three things: a) it builds his confidence, b) it fosters a bond with the child, and c) it makes your life significantly easier.

My husband was incredibly hands-on from day one. It was tougher at first, of course—the baby was nursing constantly and refused the bottle—but it got easier over time. By the time I had to travel for work when she was eighteen months old, then two years old, and eventually older, it wasn't an issue at all. So, my own experience has been positive; I’ve managed to stay quite productive alongside my child (who knows what it will be like with two!), but I realize everyone's circumstances are different.

Roger Rodriguez, look, we all get it—trust me, everyone goes through this exact same phase. I wasn't trying to come at you, I just wanted to show a different perspective since, you know, I don't actually know you or what your specific situation looks like.

Those first three months are a total blur—it’s super confusing because you can't even wrap your head around how everything works or what you're supposed to be doing right now. But seriously, believe me, you can still do everything you did before, just... maybe with a little more caution. Why couldn't you go to a concert (not exactly a Metallica show, though 😂) or just live your life? Don't spiral; you're literally just getting started. Honestly, I was more restless when I was pregnant than I am now—I could never catch a break—and both of us turned out perfectly fine. And who says wanting to go back to school is a bad thing? It’s actually the right move. The world doesn't stop spinning just because you have a kid, and anyone telling you otherwise is dead wrong! I'm surrounded by so many people who, the second they become parents, just sit around the house talking about diapers like their IQ dropped fifty points overnight (maybe that's why their kids are sooooo smart and advanced 🤔).

Not every piece of advice is meant to be malicious (unlike those random ladies on the street, which used to drive me absolutely insane), but everyone feels this weird urge to "help" you. Just listen, smile, nod, or—my personal favorite—elegantly tell them to shove it in your head and keep doing your own thing. It's way better for your sanity and the baby too. 😉

Roger Rodriguez said:I think from now on, I'm only listening to my doctor. 🙂 I've been dealing with some ovarian issues, and when I looked them up online, I almost fainted. Suddenly, fifty different people in my life jumped in with their own "expert" advice, and when they heard I needed tumor markers because of a cyst, I felt like they were already planning my funeral! So, moving forward, I'm keeping things to myself.
I'm trying to act normal, but it's hard because everyone else treats me like I'm fragile, which just makes me feel worse. Meanwhile, I actually know what I can and can't do, even if I am feeling nauseous and sleepy all the time. Thanks for the advice, 🙂

That first trimester is a total nightmare...

No matter how exhausting the end stages get—dealing with a massive belly, back pain, and feeling completely uncoordinated—it doesn't compare to those first three or four months. Plus, there's that constant underlying anxiety. I personally dealt with two losses before the 12-week mark, and during one of them, I felt physically terrible.

For me, life finally started feeling normal again once I hit the 16-week point.

Gary Nguyen45 said:That first trimester is a total nightmare...

No matter how exhausting the end stages get—dealing with a massive belly, back pain, and feeling completely uncoordinated—it doesn't compare to those first three or four months. Plus, there's that constant underlying anxiety. I personally dealt with two losses before the 12-week mark, and during one of them, I felt physically terrible.

For me, life finally started feeling normal again once I hit the 16-week point.

Just wanted to jump in here and add my two cents... for me, the second trimester was actually the worst part, I'm talking constant burping, nausea hitting me all day long, and feeling dizzy almost every single hour of the day.🙄
And the absolute kicker is that I'm mentally bracing myself for potential complications, but I can't help but feel like most people at my office think I'm just making excuses... since they're all those classic "early symptoms," right? Like, yeah, good luck believing me.🙂

At the end of the day, every pregnancy is its own wild ride!

Gary James17 said:Superman, hang in there!
I feel like you just covered everything I forgot to include in my own endless manifesto a few days ago :-)

I wanted this pregnancy more than anything, and we had been planning for it, though we never actually expected it to happen quite this fast—we figured it would be more like six months or a year down the road. So, honestly, nobody was more shocked (or more thrilled) than me when I saw those two lines on the test! I was absolutely bursting with energy and plans; I fully intended to keep up my entire normal routine, staying active, exercising, working right up until forty-five days before my due date, knocking out several grad school exams, making significant progress on my doctoral dissertation, taking one last solo trip to the coast with my husband (my dates are set for September 8th), hitting all the maternity and baby boutiques, and spending plenty of time walking and bonding with my bump, along with a million other things.

And then, practically overnight, I had to abandon everything or put it on indefinite hold because I ended up on strict bed rest, which, wouldn't you know it, has already dragged on for four months...
Don't get me wrong, I would happily spend nine months cemented to a bed if it meant keeping the baby safe!
But the thing is, it isn't easy to accept that your plans, your desires, and your dreams have been shifted or postponed in a single moment... especially when everyone around you assumes that's exactly how a pregnant woman’s brain is supposed to work the second she finds out! It’s incredibly irritating. A human mind isn't a computer with an on/off switch!

Don't listen to anyone; just stick to your own rhythm and things will work out.
For instance, while stuck in bed, I managed to write four seminar papers—I figured, why not get them out of the way for next year?
Yet, somehow, people always find a way to act surprised and insist on their own narrow views—as if I should be exhausting myself now instead of resting and focusing on the baby... Well, I am thinking about the baby constantly, but I’m still me, and I still have room to think about other things too.

And sure, go ahead and criticize me, but I’m one of those people who is considered "overachieving," because I refuse to believe my life stops moving just because I'm giving birth; I still hope to work, to climb the career ladder, finish my graduate studies, tend to my garden, catch a concert or two, and so on.
It really gets under my skin how much people feel the need to constantly convince me that I'm just chasing pipe dreams! It’s almost as if they're rooting for me to fail at my own ambitions.
Look, I expect my life to turn upside down—in fact, it already has—and I know I'll have to put in a massive amount of extra effort and willpower, deal with the financial strain of both my expenses and the baby's, handle the sacrifices, and navigate the need for extreme flexibility in my scheduling.
But if I start "resigning" myself to the idea now that I won't have any time, or that finishing my degree is impossible, then I certainly won't accomplish any of it.

Anyway, I'm rambling again :-)

Thanks for being so understanding. 😁 I went through the exact same thing when I found out I was pregnant. I thought, "Okay, I can handle this, I'll just power through my degree," without ever considering that complications might force me to slow down. Honestly, I didn't realize how draining pregnancy actually is—especially at the start. There were moments where I didn't even have the energy to read a five-page study guide 🙂 because once those early symptoms hit, I just lost it. My brain wants to be productive, but my body simply refuses. Now I finally understand why my mom used to nag me every single day after work; I used to get so annoyed by her comments, but now I get it. 😁

Arthur Scott said:Roger Rodriguez, look, we all get it—trust me, everyone goes through this exact same phase. I wasn't trying to come at you, I just wanted to show a different perspective since, you know, I don't actually know you or what your specific situation looks like.

Those first three months are a total blur—it’s super confusing because you can't even wrap your head around how everything works or what you're supposed to be doing right now. But seriously, believe me, you can still do everything you did before, just... maybe with a little more caution. Why couldn't you go to a concert (not exactly a Metallica show, though 😂) or just live your life? Don't spiral; you're literally just getting started. Honestly, I was more restless when I was pregnant than I am now—I could never catch a break—and both of us turned out perfectly fine. And who says wanting to go back to school is a bad thing? It’s actually the right move. The world doesn't stop spinning just because you have a kid, and anyone telling you otherwise is dead wrong! I'm surrounded by so many people who, the second they become parents, just sit around the house talking about diapers like their IQ dropped fifty points overnight (maybe that's why their kids are sooooo smart and advanced 🤔).

Not every piece of advice is meant to be malicious (unlike those random ladies on the street, which used to drive me absolutely insane), but everyone feels this weird urge to "help" you. Just listen, smile, nod, or—my personal favorite—elegantly tell them to shove it in your head and keep doing your own thing. It's way better for your sanity and the baby too. 😉

And look, I wrote that previous post while I was totally on edge. I bet I sounded like an immature kid to any sane person. That’s just it—I have no idea what’s coming next. Even when I think I'm prepared, I realize I know nothing. I can't just "be ready"; I have to let things happen naturally and just adapt. I was always a bit anxious, but now it feels doubled, and I feel like I'm going to jump out of my own skin. Maybe it would help if my doctor told me everything is fine, but instead, it's just constant scares—like finding cysts that weren't there before. Honestly, I think my doctor is a bigger panicker than I am. Last time he was doing a pelvic ultrasound, he was so clumsy he dropped everything, and the lubricant ended up exploding all over his screen and keyboard!🙄 ) My blood pressure dropped so low I actually fainted right there in the doctor's office, and now I'm dealing with a UTI...

Gary Nguyen45 said:That first trimester is a total nightmare...

No matter how exhausting the end stages get—dealing with a massive belly, back pain, and feeling completely uncoordinated—it doesn't compare to those first three or four months. Plus, there's that constant underlying anxiety. I personally dealt with two losses before the 12-week mark, and during one of them, I felt physically terrible.

For me, life finally started feeling normal again once I hit the 16-week point.

I get so hungry it's hard to even put into words; I'm practically dreaming of a massive BBQ, yet I can't even stand to be near the kitchen because the smell makes me want to gag. It's such a weird contradiction since my appetite has never been higher! I'm craving anything greasy or cheesy, though I know better than to actually eat it.
All I can do is wait for this phase to pass while picking fights with everyone at home because the sound of people eating just drives me crazy. 😢