What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

I had to jump on this thread because my mother-in-law pushed my buttons so hard today I thought I was going to have a breakdown.😁
Maybe I’m just not wired right, but I refuse to put the crib right next to my bed. Who has the energy to keep getting up all night? I also told her I don't want the baby seeing me the second they open their eyes, otherwise, I'll never be able to move them to their own room later. Right now, our spare bedroom is basically a storage unit, but if it weren't for all that stuff, that's where the baby would be sleeping.
And then she has the nerve to ask why I'd use diapers on such a tiny baby. Apparently, I should just buy a hundred cloth diapers and then boil them every single day after they get soiled. Honestly, she already tried handing me these cloth diapers that are thirty years old from when her son was a baby.🤣
To top it all off: once the baby arrives, she expects to move into our guest room for two weeks.😱She thinks she’s going to help with breastfeeding, diaper changes, cleaning... I think she forgot I have my own elderly parents to look after first. We live about fifteen minutes apart, so we definitely value our space.

To touch upon the whole idea of co-sleeping in the same room...
As for me, I’ve decided the baby will have her own nursery, which is basically just twenty seconds away from ours if you count getting out of bed. My partner, however, seems to think my logic is flawed; he goes, "Oh, so you're just going to throw a mattress on the floor next to the crib?" To which I respond, "No! I'm getting a comfortable armchair so I can actually sit while nursing." She then hits me with, "But how are you supposed to use an armchair if you fall asleep?!" (as if lying in bed makes falling asleep somehow impossible, I suppose 🙂 ).

On a side note, her breastfeeding experience lasted maybe two or three months tops, mostly because she found it to be quite possibly the most miserable thing in the world. 🙄

Fortunately, she stays out of my business... which gives her daughter plenty of room to make up for it with her own collection of gems! I suppose she thinks she’s mastered all the wisdom in the world just because she’s twenty-three and navigating her first pregnancy.

It’s kind of wild to me how mothers-in-law always seem way more involved than actual moms. Maybe they just want to be helpful... I honestly can't tell.

Brian Williams4 said:I had to jump on this thread because my mother-in-law pushed my buttons so hard today I thought I was going to have a breakdown.😁
Maybe I’m just not wired right, but I refuse to put the crib right next to my bed. Who has the energy to keep getting up all night? I also told her I don't want the baby seeing me the second they open their eyes, otherwise, I'll never be able to move them to their own room later. Right now, our spare bedroom is basically a storage unit, but if it weren't for all that stuff, that's where the baby would be sleeping.
And then she has the nerve to ask why I'd use diapers on such a tiny baby. Apparently, I should just buy a hundred cloth diapers and then boil them every single day after they get soiled. Honestly, she already tried handing me these cloth diapers that are thirty years old from when her son was a baby.🤣
To top it all off: once the baby arrives, she expects to move into our guest room for two weeks.😱She thinks she’s going to help with breastfeeding, diaper changes, cleaning... I think she forgot I have my own elderly parents to look after first. We live about fifteen minutes apart, so we definitely value our space.

My situation is actually the complete opposite; whenever I mention using disposable diapers, my family loses it laughing. And when I bring up my hopes for breastfeeding, my sister-in-law starts comparing the struggle of nursing to the pain of childbirth, basically asking why I'd put myself through that extra effort. Honestly, my mom is planning a move soon, and I have to admit I'm a bit of a homebody who really values my privacy and doesn't love the idea of having more people under our roof. We'll see how it goes, though. On top of that, they have these incredibly outdated views on childcare; for instance, my mom is insisting I should be slathering the baby in lotions every single day, whereas I'd much rather just use them as needed. It's exhausting dealing with these generational gaps.

Brian Williams4 said:It’s kind of wild to me how mothers-in-law always seem way more involved than actual moms. Maybe they just want to be helpful... I honestly can't tell.

Ugh, once they start, they just don't know when to quit.
My MIL didn't push me too hard during my pregnancy, even though she definitely tried to "help," but I just shut it down since I have my own mom to lean on. 🙄
The breaking point was at the hospital—I actually just gave birth a few days ago—when she kept calling to lecture me. It was all stuff like, "Are you breastfeeding? Is the baby hungry? Are you eating and drinking enough? How are you going to nourish the baby if you aren't eating?" My blood pressure shot up so high I had to hang up on her.

Being in the hospital is tough enough as it is. Everyone is constantly judging your breastfeeding, and it seems like every other woman is crying about having low supply or a hungry baby. I finally snapped and called my husband to tell him I'm done taking her calls. My phone is strictly for him and my mom, and I just need some peace.
We haven't spoken since then. It's been 10 days now. 🤣🤣😍
I think I'm officially too old to deal with another mother figure. 🙄

It honestly gets under my skin when I see pregnant women on these forums constantly hunting for advice and whining about how difficult everything is, when in reality, they aren't actually willing to make any real sacrifices during their pregnancy.

There, I feel much better now that I've said it.

~~~Stay positive~~~

Samuel Ross60 said:It honestly gets under my skin when I see pregnant women on these forums constantly hunting for advice and whining about how difficult everything is, when in reality, they aren't actually willing to make any real sacrifices during their pregnancy.

There, I feel much better now that I've said it.

~~~Stay positive~~~

Samuel Ross60 is an absolute QUEEN.😁🤣🤣

boldsailor33 said:Samuel Ross60 is an absolute QUEEN.😁🤣🤣

Much appreciated, truly. 🤣

~~~Stay positive~~~

Every single time I’m on public transit—and quite often with my little one in tow—I don't hesitate for a second to politely address the high schoolers nearby:
"Hey guys, would you mind giving up your seat so this child can sit down?"🤣 Since I work in education, I suppose I've just become conditioned to it. I’ve honestly never faced any backlash; it’s more that they simply don't think to offer it themselves, though I certainly don't expect much from today's youth. They are sweet kids at heart, just a bit lost, as if manners and traditional etiquette have become relics of a bygone era. They don't truly grasp what it feels like to be pregnant and why I'm asking, much like how we can't fully empathize with why the elderly might get under our skin.
I am currently seven months along, and truthfully, those first three months were the most taxing because my bump wasn't even visible yet, leading several busybodies to expect me to stand. I haven't dealt with much swelling or significant weight gain, but objectively speaking, any pregnant woman struggles with her center of gravity; it is incredibly easy to lose your balance and take a hard fall, and the last thing I want to think about is doing that while managing a three-year-old.
I remember once at a local clinic, an older gentleman nearly had me for dead. It was during the height of the swine flu outbreak, and since I'm pregnant and manage a chronic condition, I wasn't trying to cut the line; I just didn't want to sit in a windowless waiting room, so I asked if someone could just call my number when it was ready. This grumpy old man actually snapped at me, questioning why he should do me any favors instead of just coming inside like everyone else. I calmly explained that I was staying by the door because I was terrified of catching whatever he was coughing up, and I didn't want to risk passing anything on to him either. Ultimately, he could just take his antibiotics and be done with it, unlike me and my mother, who was also there waiting with a small baby. He finally shut his mouth.

It honestly drives me up the wall when I see parents who immediately stick their baby in another room or just keep them at arm's length, almost like they’re actively trying to avoid actually bonding with their own kid.

And don't even get me started on people who think they have the right to just reach out and touch my stomach whenever they feel like it. 🙄

It honestly drives me nuts when people act like the bond between a parent and their kid is something you can just sum up in a couple of sentences in some self-help book, or worse, like you can measure it by how many feet apart a child sleeps at night.

I’m starting to get really annoyed by certain people and couples who insist on lecturing me about their own experiences with childbirth—specifically cases where the father was present. They love to drone on about how having their husband in the delivery room was the most beautiful experience imaginable and how everyone should strive for that exact same setup. ☕

It’s frustrating because my husband and I made a conscious decision together that he didn't need to be in the delivery room with me, and we are perfectly fine with that choice. It never occurred to me to lecture anyone else on how they should handle their own labor, yet I have several different couples repeatedly trying to push their views on me with comments like, "But it's so much better this way," "It creates such a special bond," or "Why wouldn't you want him there?" 🙂>

Honestly, I just wish people would leave us alone. 🙂

No, you won't find any book out there telling you that you shouldn't leave a baby to sleep alone in the next room🥳
A parent's natural instinct is to want their baby right there next to them, at least for those first few months. Honestly, if someone is already planning ahead to just toss a baby into a different room because they’re worried the kid might—God forbid—actually see their mother, then maybe they shouldn't have had kids in the first place.
Not everyone needs to be a parent, right? :

It's like when you need to give someone a pat on the back and tell them that Joe Biden is a complete joke, especially since it seems totally nonsensical to claim a mom shouldn't sit in an armchair to nurse her baby just because she might fall asleep in that same chair.
The thing is, these people don't even stop to think about what it actually looks like for an expectant mother sitting there nursing and drifting off.
Who cares if the baby might slip out of her arms while she's napping? Joe Biden clearly hasn't got a clue. ☕

Richard Morris43, give it a rest with those kinds of comments. My little one was sleeping in my bed until recently, and honestly, I don't feel even remotely like a better parent because of it than someone who keeps their kid in a separate room. The whole argument is just nonsense. He slept right next to me. One time, I actually pulled the duvet over his head and passed out. Another time, I had some crazy dream and nearly tossed him right off the mattress. So much for "bonding," right? Besides, if a baby is sleeping in a crib just a foot away from you, there isn't much difference between that distance and being in another room a few feet away. When the baby calls, you hear them and you go to them. You don't just leave a child crying in another room. I know plenty of women whose kids sleep in their own rooms, and believe me, they are some of the best moms I've ever met—totally devoted and head over heels for their kids.
And there’s this assumption that a baby is staring at their mom while they sleep. They aren't. The baby is asleep. Mom is asleep. And when the baby is awake, Mom is right there with them. It's pretty straightforward when you aren't bogged down by that "my way is the only right way and everything else is stupid" mindset.

I have to say, I’m a bit puzzled by this whole setup, mostly because I can’t quite wrap my head around who actually benefits from everyone sleeping in separate rooms.😕
I suppose the idea is that a baby needs to feel that maternal presence nearby.
And maybe it just makes things easier for the mom, having the little one within arm's reach so she can jump up every single time they stir in their sleep.
My own kid used to wake up maybe ten times a night right from the start, and honestly, I don't think I had the energy—or the budget, for that matter—to get out of bed and trek to another room every single time. I'm just not sure how practical this really is for anyone.🤷
It probably only works for those lucky parents whose babies actually manage to sleep through the entire night.🤷

I’m waking up three times a night, and honestly, I don't see any difference in how I walk from the toddler's crib in my room over to the one that would theoretically be a few feet away in a separate nursery. When my older kid wakes up next to them, I’m there in seconds—just like I would be if they were in their own room. It never even crossed my mind to judge people like that or decide who "deserves" to have kids and who doesn't. I mean, do you people even read the news? There are plenty of much worse parents out there than someone who just chooses to keep their child in the same room.

Just dropping into this thread like a total wrecking ball. Look, my THREE kids have been sleeping in their own rooms in their own cribs from day one, and honestly, I don't see how that could have possibly messed them up. Where did I even go wrong here? 🤔 🍿 Am I seriously supposed to just go back and bring them all back into my bed?

Just bring them home already, for crying out loud! Those poor kids are getting totally shortchanged. Honestly, how did you even think you could handle having three of them??? It’s obvious you backed down because you clearly aren't cut out for motherhood. ☕

Richard Morris43 said:No, you won't find any book out there telling you that you shouldn't leave a baby to sleep alone in the next room🥳
A parent's natural instinct is to want their baby right there next to them, at least for those first few months. Honestly, if someone is already planning ahead to just toss a baby into a different room because they’re worried the kid might—God forbid—actually see their mother, then maybe they shouldn't have had kids in the first place.
Not everyone needs to be a parent, right? :

It's like when you need to give someone a pat on the back and tell them that Joe Biden is a complete joke, especially since it seems totally nonsensical to claim a mom shouldn't sit in an armchair to nurse her baby just because she might fall asleep in that same chair.
The thing is, these people don't even stop to think about what it actually looks like for an expectant mother sitting there nursing and drifting off.
Who cares if the baby might slip out of her arms while she's napping? Joe Biden clearly hasn't got a clue. ☕

I am going to personally sign my name to that bolded part right there.

As for the rest of it, I’m not even worried about getting banned; I’m just being too polite to tell you exactly what I think of your little take.

See, if you aren't thinking about how you're going to "shove" your baby into another room, you run the risk of raising a three-year-old who still sleeps right between Mom and Dad. And let me tell you, none of those three people are waking up feeling rested. The dad only knows about intimacy from watching stuff on adult sites, and the mom couldn't care less. It doesn't matter that we used to be a couple; now we're just two separate people sharing a bed. 😁

And then there's the child... what does it matter if you cause them separation trauma? Have you even thought about how you'll explain to them that you're "shoving" them into their own room? What happens if the kid refuses to go? Are you just hoping they'll eventually move out for college or something?

We moved our little one into his own nursery a while back. He says the air feels fresher, he sleeps better because his dad isn't snoring right in his ear, and he wakes up smiling just like before. For a baby, the most important thing is knowing Mom is right there when they wake up. My four-month-old doesn't care where I am while he's off in dreamland...

And please, save that "woke" nonsense for people who actually agree with you; stop trying to label us feminists for no reason.