Posts by Roger Hall15

Angela Wright said:Today is just one of those heavy, heartbreaking days😢. We lost my cousin last night. He was fighting cancer for six months, though they never even managed to pin down a specific diagnosis. It was rough on him, lots of pain. Just the night before last, he was still conscious, sitting up in bed and holding conversations, but by morning, there was just no waking him up. They took him to the ER at the local hospital, and then they basically just sent him home with that standard excuse—which turned out to be true anyway—that there wasn't anything more they could do and it was really just a matter of hours. He spent almost an entire day in a coma before he stopped breathing. He wasn't even fifty-one yet. He leaves behind a fourteen-year-old son.

I’m feeling that void where my mom used to be again today, but at the same time, I feel this endless sense of gratitude that she was right there by my side when I was fourteen, back when I was dealing with all those typical teenage things you're supposed to be navigating at that age.
Mom is having a slightly better stretch lately, in the sense that she’s eating well. She was even watching TV for a bit.

Please accept my condolences. These moments are just brutal. Sometimes I find myself wondering how much time we're all actually going to need to heal from this. I see new people joining the forum and checking in. Hello to everyone. 🙂 If I were to suggest anything to anyone, it would be to read through the main thread from the very beginning—even if it takes forever—because you'll surely stumble upon something useful, or at least something that offers a tiny bit of relief.

I am glad to hear your mom is doing a bit better. Mine isn't doing too bad herself right now; she’s eating well, it's just that her mental state is completely off 😵 and that can be so incredibly draining. I realize I've been handed this "assignment," and I'm just handling it the best way I know how. I've learned quite a bit about myself, and about others too. Honestly, some of the things I've read about or tried practicing—this or that—I can finally see how they actually play out in real life. It's damn hard. 👎

goldenotter252 said:Thanks to you too, Melissa Kim45, for all the support, and I’m keeping you and your mom in my prayers... honestly, I don't think I've ever called on God as much as I have lately, even after everything I've been through... I just don't understand why life hits people this way, or what anyone could have possibly done to deserve it... like there was some mistake made... you find yourself getting angry at someone you love over some trivial, insignificant little thing, and then suddenly, you're hit with something like this... right now, the hardest part is watching him and his family deal with it; I'm an outsider when it comes to blood relations, but I'm right there with them in my head... I just don't know how to help them more, even if I were to perform surgery on this forum to dig up new information...

Don't mention it. We're stronger when we stick together. 👍
We're all here for one another, through the good times and the bad. 🙂

It's nothing. He didn't do anything wrong; he's just an ordinary guy, just like everyone else on this forum who's fighting this disease or has someone close to them going through it. This isn't a punishment for anyone's actions. You see, even though it happens in the most brutal way possible, we still end up learning profound things about ourselves and those around us. Besides, death isn't the absolute end. 🙂
There is a purpose to our shared suffering.

goldenotter252 said:And one more thing...
regarding Noni juice...
I’ve been reading up on it quite a bit and it seems like a solid option, but my main issue is just figuring out which kind to actually buy. We picked up some Noni juice at a local health food store for about $83 (made in New Zealand) and then grabbed another bottle at a pharmacy from $117 (made in Tahiti), and honestly, I have no idea which one is better because I’m terrified of accidentally buying some fake, overpriced junk. I found this online seller claiming they have the "original recipe" produced right in Tahiti, $550... so now I'm stuck, which one should I go with? Price isn't really the deciding factor here... and how exactly are you supposed to take it for this specific type of cancer?? I'm seeing totally different instructions all over the place. What has your experience been like with Noni?

That $1650 version is definitely not eight times better than the rest. I’ve just been sticking to the standard, cheaper stuff—usually just a little splash in a glass, maybe like the width of a finger, mixed with some black juice.
You really have to try it first, though, because the taste is honestly pretty bizarre. Some people can't get it down at all.
I usually make sure to look for glass bottles, but I did buy an Encian one in plastic once and it seemed perfectly fine. I tend to go through about two bottles a month, though I obviously take breaks from it.
You can take it straight, which is a nightmare—the smell alone is enough to knock you out—or mix it with water, but the best way is probably to take about half a cup of juice, pinch your nose shut, and just power through it.
Aloe vera is also a good addition. So is a juice or puree made from beets, carrots, and apples.
Just don't go overboard with all these supplements, because if you pile too many on, you're just going to end up taxing your system even more.

Angela Wright said:When we're dealing with microcellular types, the reality is pretty grim because they’re just so incredibly aggressive, and things like chemo or radiation don't really slow down the momentum much. People call it the hundred-day cancer, mostly because by the time those hundred days are up, the story is usually already written, which is just devastating.😳

Well, we've already blown past that deadline. Tomorrow I'm going to whip up something for her—maybe a hearty vegetable and grain soup, and I'll pull a piece of turkey out of the freezer.
The day after tomorrow? I honestly don't know, and frankly, I don't care to worry about it yet. You can never, ever let go of the idea that we still have "tomorrow" and try to live a normal life, at least within the boundaries this whole situation has drawn for us.
Though, granted, there are the occasional outbursts.😁

goldenotter252 said:Hi everyone...
Unfortunately, I’m joining this forum for some pretty heavy reasons... someone very dear to me has been diagnosed with lung cancer that has metastasized to the brain (they actually removed that part of the tumor two days ago), and before they can operate on the lungs, they have to go through a grueling round of chemotherapy. I’m a complete layman when it comes to all of this, so I really need some guidance... my family and I are looking into every possible avenue to help them heal... we wouldn't rule out alternative approaches either... if any of you have experience with this—whether positive or negative—please let me know... I’m hoping to connect with people who actually know what they’re doing (for instance, someone like Drago Plecko)... please send any recommendations my way... thank you all...
and good luck...

Hang in there, stay brave, and keep your chin up. The fight is just starting, and you’re going to need a lot of strength and even more nerves of steel. Don't look toward the end; just focus on getting through tomorrow. Literally. That’s how I survived it.

During chemo, which absolutely wrecks your entire system, I would suggest (and this is what I’m doing) focusing entirely on riding it out with as little collateral damage as possible, specifically regarding nutrition and supplements. Right now, the chemo is doing the work. In my opinion, some of the more intense alternative treatments just don't play well with it.
Give him something to support his immune system and just make sure he gets healthy, decent food—though that doesn't necessarily mean large portions. Just watch him closely and listen to your gut.
Take nausea, for example. My mom barely deals with it at all, which is a total miracle, but when popcorn isn't cutting it, she has to take Reglan. When she was on Haldol (it's an antipsychotic, don't ask), I think it was actually easier because that works as a powerful antiemetic.
But, honestly, the side effects of all those medications are pretty nasty. Sometimes you don't have a choice. Sometimes—you do.
There’s plenty of info on this thread about what we’re using. Native propolis (which is great), Tahitian Noni, cheese and flaxseed oil (look up Budwig), and there's that one old, reliable recipe posted above by Drew Nguyen47. None of that is going to hurt.
Your job is to give it everything you've got, but then again, some things just aren't in our hands, nor are they in the doctors'.

Personally, I’m just losing my mind. 🙄
My mood swings are all over the place—I don't know if it's because of the new protocol, pure exhaustion from everything, the changing weather, the full moon, or just the fact that my mom is being absolutely impossible. Impossible.
She drove me so crazy that I ended up tearing open her pack of cigarettes and shredding them into tiny little pieces (I actually scared myself), only to find out later that she had been picking up the larger scraps and saving them.
So, damn it. I ended up leaving her a few cigarettes, which she smoked right down to the last one (because of course she could), and now she’s coughing like crazy, choking and hacking away—it's a nightmare.

Drew Nguyen47 said:I have just one more question... does anyone here know what the best approach is for feeding a patient dealing with cancer or liver metastases? My dad can still manage a few spoonfuls of soup here and there, and I was thinking about giving him some blended broccoli soup with a pinch of salt, but I’m wondering if there’s anything else we should be offering. Honestly, right now, it seems like water is the only thing that really sits well with him. 👎

You could just whip up some vegetable broths with finely diced veggies—honestly, you can even toss the whole lot into a blender until it’s smooth, kind of like those purees they make for babies.
If you’re actually planning on eating it, you might want to try some raw veggies—honestly, those raw vegetable purees can be pretty incredible if you do them right. Just toss a little parsley leaf and maybe two slices of olive on top to make it look decent; it doesn't really matter if they end up sitting on the side of the plate untouched.
I have this personal rule about not spilling my guts regarding what's actually going on inside, because if I do, people start getting all high and mighty and acting like they own the place.😁
And I’ll probably try my hand at some sort of creative presentation too, you know, playing around with different colors and trying to "package" everything just right so it actually looks decent.

It would probably be a good idea to have everyone eat the exact same thing, just so nobody feels like they’re getting the short end of the stick—we all know how fragile the male ego can be.
Just whip up something delicious for yourself and him, then sit down and enjoy the meal together. 🙂

Please accept my sincerest condolences.

I’m honestly at a loss for words after reading about everything you’ve been through. It’s just heartbreaking that your mother had to endure so much suffering; it really makes you wonder if there was anything more the doctors could have actually done, since one complication just seemed to trigger the next. If they were just spinning tales to make themselves feel better, then sure, maybe.

One doctor—who’s still treating my mom, and I think she’ll be the one seeing her at the next appointment—gave us some blunt advice: never trust a physician who doesn't apply the exact same standards to every patient or, heaven forbid, starts asking for extra money out of pocket. She said this when we asked if she would personally recommend chemotherapy for her own mother in a situation like yours; we didn't really have a choice because things were so critical, but we were still terrified that the treatment might end up cutting her days short.

May your mother rest in peace.

Nancy Hernandez43 said:Honestly, I think her biggest edge is just how much of a fighter she is, plus she hasn't really dealt with any major side effects yet, which is a huge win. It also helps immensely that she has 24/7 care; my dad actually gave up his job just to stay by her side, because if he wasn't there, I honestly think she might have just thrown in the towel. I can only imagine how exhausting it is for everyone else trying to explain what she can and can't eat, or which specific foods make our parents feel weak...

To everyone out there—just keep being brave. Kisses.

Has the text from Venice arrived yet? 🙂
If Dad is with her constantly, you probably don't need to worry quite as much, since he'll be the one managing all those details, like her diet and keeping her away from crowds and stuff.

I find myself getting worked up over this stuff all the time, and I just can't wrap my head around why some people—especially the younger ones who haven't really dealt with serious illness before—don't seem to grasp that you can't just drop by with takeout whenever you want; you simply have to wait.
🙄

They changed Mom's protocol; she was on PE before, but now it’s cyclophosphamide, doxorubicin, and vincristine. I don't even know what to say about it.

If I understood correctly, it's administered intravenously once a month. Her second hospital stay is scheduled for three weeks from now.
Unless I've completely misunderstood something.

Her electrolytes have stabilized since yesterday. Hopefully, she'll hold steady until the next check-up in a week.

neoncyclist42 said:My uncle has throat cancer, and they won't even start his chemo until October 31st!?
He’s having a really hard time swallowing, he's losing weight, and he's just looking weak. I'm trying to figure out how to help boost his appetite, make it easier for him to swallow things, and get his immune system up. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

Right at the beginning, I was giving my mom multivitamins and a little bit of iron here and there, but as soon as she started feeling a bit better, I stopped because you can't overdo it with all those supplements either.

It might actually be more important to focus on adjusting what he eats—you know, liquid diets, purees, maybe some meal replacement shakes—and making sure everything is nutrient-dense and healthy, rather than just throwing an appetite stimulant at someone who physically can't swallow food anyway. That’s just how I’d look at it, though I suppose I could be wrong.

If you take a quick stroll over to Walmart, they carry all sorts of different supplements that aren't outrageously expensive, so you could probably pick something up there just to start with.

I’ve been meaning to post here for quite a while now, but I kept waiting, thinking maybe things would take a turn for the better before I spoke up,😁and then I worried they might actually get worse and I wouldn't want to jinx anything.

But I read everything, and honestly, the advice shared in this thread has been such a lifesaver.👍

Mom started her fifth round of chemo today. Everything just seems to be backsliding again; after two IV bags plus the chemo itself, her weight actually ticked up by one pound, from 126 to 127. John Doe. They almost kept her overnight at the hospital, but they ended up letting her come home—which feels pretty terrifying given how old and sick she is, but hey, she’s making her own choices.🙄
Tomorrow she heads back out to the Suburban neighborhood, and I think she’ll start the oral meds on Sunday, which I’ve already gotten used to managing and knowing what to watch out for.
Right now, she’s just sitting there munching on popcorn and acting a bit wild.

I have zero control over what she eats during the day. There’s a caregiver there to cook or heat things up, and regardless of what I tell them, I have no idea what’s actually happening. It feels ridiculous to pay someone to help when Mom just ends up raiding the fridge anyway. The other day, the helper loaded some dish with way too much garlic, and Mom felt so nauseous for two days straight it was maddening. Seriously, if you're cooking for seniors and patients, you should probably have the sense not to cook like you're feeding a construction worker!😲
Then there's the fact that she specifically targets the foods she isn't supposed to have. It’s constant supervision; she won't eat on her own, and if anyone or anything annoys her during a meal, she starts rushing, stuffing her mouth like a toddler, unable to even chew, let alone swallow.
And then we have the spectacle.🙄

I know dealing with my mother is an uphill battle, but if I’m the one working and paying the bills, I expect at least a baseline level of common sense. 😠

It’s actually pretty visible—as much as you can tell—that she feels better when she sticks to healthy stuff, like plenty of veggies, grain-based soups, very little meat, and light stews without all the heavy additives. She’s paused on the Noni for a moment, but I’ve already got a new bottle ready to go.
She takes native propolis tablets, two twice a day, almost constantly; we might take a break after a bottle or two, but I really think it helps her.
Everything I give her, whether it’s occasional or part of a routine, is strictly aimed at trying to improve how she feels subjectively.

The doctor basically says she’ll either fall into that percentage of people who survive this, or she won't. And what kind of percentage are we talking about with this type of cancer? 15%?👎

As if my life wasn't tedious enough, it keeps finding ways to spice things up. We live in the same apartment building. I was heading out for a walk one evening—just my last stroll for the night—and I locked the apartment door, but hadn't turned the hallway light on yet. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something,😱and when I turned around, there was this silhouette in a white nightgown just staring at me. I nearly screamed my head off. 😱
I didn't even realize it was her at first. And she just stood there, completely unfazed, asking, "Did you start scratching my back?" 😲
Apparently, she was just itchy from the last round of radiation.

Linda Campbell, please accept my deepest, most sincere condolences. 🙂
My God. We really are just tiny, insignificant specks in this vast universe, and everything we think we understand about ourselves, or everything we perceive and claim to know, is nothing compared to the immense depth of what your mother is experiencing right now—everything she sees and everything she knows. 🙂

Stay strong. 😘

bluewalker30 said:I tried starting this a few times, but I ended up breaking out in such a massive rash all over my body that I actually had to go to the ER. I'm wondering if anyone else has dealt with something like that? I can't decide if it's even worth trying again.

Personally, I wouldn't risk it. The only thing I'd suggest is that if you were using the oil version, maybe try switching to the seeds—or vice versa—and just stick to tiny amounts at first. But honestly, if your body isn't having it, it isn't having it.

You don't usually get diarrhea from the oil.
My mom eats this stuff too, though she already gave me the heads-up that we aren't having cottage cheese (again) for dinner tonight.🙄
It doesn't matter much, though; she just mixed some into her yogurt this morning.😁

Olivia Ramos66 said:About 30 to 60 minutes before radiation therapy, you should apply a thin layer to the area being treated using a blend of unrefined macadamia or avocado base oil mixed with niaouli essential oil, specifically the cineole chemotype, at about a 10-20% concentration. It really helps minimize the risk of skin burns.
Once the session is over, rinse the skin with a strong infusion made from black elderflower—just steep 8-10g of dried flowers in about a cup of hot water for 15 minutes, then use it while it's lukewarm. After that, you can massage in a mixture of unrefined tamanu oil, and macerations of St. John's Wort in sesame and Centella in almond, topped off with some German chamomile and/or helichrysum essential oils (around 0.5-1% each) along with some calendula CO2 extract. For the oils, I usually stick to Prometheus or Ayurveda for the essentials and base oils, and Nature's Bounty for the carrier oils.
I hope this helps.

Thanks so much.👍

Absolutely terrible.👎

There’s just no way to justify sneaking medication to someone behind their back. 😲

My mother was being given Haldol because she was spitting at the nurses, wandering out of the hospital, begging for cigarettes, smoking in the hallways, and roaming the wards in the middle of the night—they just couldn't get her to settle down, and during her hospitalizations (last year and this year when they finally figured out what was actually wrong), they even had to tie her to the bed.
Actually, I’d have to double-check my notes right now, but I know for certain she wasn't taking Haldol between those two hospital stays; I can't quite recall if she received it during last year's stay, but during this most recent hospitalization, they were giving it to her there and then prescribed it for home use.
Yes, she has early-onset Alzheimer, but that wasn't the whole story; she had cancer that was draining her sodium levels, which turned her into a completely disoriented woman who was totally disconnected from the world around her. It was likely a combination of both issues. Since she started chemotherapy, Haldol was actually useful as a potent antiemetic.
At that point, the Haldol was probably justified, but the side effects are an absolute disaster, and she developed what they call extrapyramidal syndrome.
On top of that, she became a different person entirely. Seeing what that looks like... it’s horrific.

Anyway, Mom got really scared by the tremors, which just kept getting worse and worse, so the two of us made an agreement—and obviously, I consulted with her, though it was entirely on my own initiative rather than with the doctor who prescribed it, since when I asked him about the side effects, he just shrugged and said maybe she has Parkinson's)😲 and she isn't taking Haldol anymore.
She is much, much better (regarding that specific issue, at least).

Your friend is clearly suffering from a psychiatric condition (meaning there isn't some underlying organic disease), but as someone else mentioned above, if he finds out they've been drugging him secretly, things could get very ugly.
If he doesn't want treatment, he doesn't want treatment. But once he realizes they were slipping Haldol into his coffee, he’s going to lose it, and who knows what he might do; they'll end up calling the police and hauling him off to a state mental facility.
Honestly, I’d feel the exact same way if I were in his shoes; I don't know if I could ever just move past something like that.👎

And she definitely needs to find a new doctor. 👎

Anonymous said:This post is incredibly unfair and totally inaccurate...
I actually work in a neighboring department, and I have to say, the staff at the Mayo Clinic are absolutely appalled by what’s being claimed here...
It was actually quite eye-opening to look over the medication logs from the timeframe the patient mentioned; seeing everything they were given completely contradicts her claims that nobody tried to help manage her pain. She's flat-out wrong about that...
Furthermore, there are always two doctors on call in that unit, and I can assure you both were present and accounted for. The records clearly show that multiple anesthesiologists were brought in for consultations on several different occasions...

A close friend of mine was treated at the Mayo Clinic, and I can honestly say she had nothing but wonderful things to say about the doctors and nurses there. Those people are working themselves to death—the workload in that unit is absolutely relentless...
In my opinion, this entire post is dishonest and simply doesn't hold up under scrutiny.
Regardless of what you choose to believe.

Best regards,

It’s only "incorrect" if someone is deliberately and intentionally spreading lies.

My mother is currently receiving care at Jordanovac, so I’ll start by giving credit where it's due—the nurses are fantastic.
Dealing with patients this critically ill (and their even more difficult families, I'm not even exaggerating there) is a massive undertaking, and they handle it with such grace. They really deserve a lot of respect.🙏

As for the doctors, they are operating under truly impossible conditions. Honestly, the entire healthcare system is a mess. We were waiting to speak with a physician once, and she was looking absolutely exhausted after spending the whole morning trying to track down a specialist or get a response from someone at the main hospital just to advocate for a patient. Should they really be wasting their precious time stuck in those cramped little hallways doing that?

Everyone has a story; we’ve all lived through something, and I know that from the other side of the bed, the doctors and nurses have plenty of grievances regarding patients and their families too.
To be perfectly blunt, my mother is an incredibly difficult patient.😁

But when you’re dealing with someone facing such a terrifying illness—someone who is in agony and paralyzed by the fear of death—should we really be judging their reaction?

In this day and age, there’s no reason anyone should have to suffer through physical pain—we have more medication available than we know what to do with. Then again, it isn't strictly necessary for anyone to go hungry or be illiterate either, yet somehow we still find ways to let that happen.

Thanks bluewalker30, Elizabeth Collins60, and Angela Wright for reminding me about that popcorn machine.
I had completely blanked on the fact that thing even existed.😵

It feels like things might be turning a tiny bit of a corner, though she’s heading back into radiation this Monday. I applied the cream this morning, and I plan to do it again tonight after her bath, but now I’m debating whether I should just leave her at the hospital so the nurses can handle the application, and then I can just take over when I get home in the evening.

As far as her scalp goes, you can just rub some face cream in there—just pull it slightly; it isn't dry anymore and doesn't flake. It was absolutely horrific when her hair was falling out, and we couldn't even shave her head until we went to pick up the wig. Once we cleared away those last bits of lifeless hair and applied the cream a few times—honestly, I'm telling you—it made a world of difference.
Now new hair is actually starting to grow in, though there's still nothing in the middle. 😲
I keep trying to coax her into letting me shave her head one more time, but I just can't seem to convince her.

Her sodium levels seem to be stabilizing, so the therapy is definitely doing its job, but regardless of any regression (?), it worries me a little that she complains about back pain, and her right arm is noticeably weaker than her left (since that's where the cancer is located). The doctor told us to "save" her right arm, as if she's somehow rationing it, which is ridiculous because she can barely do anything with it anyway, good grief. Since she's feeling so limp and weak, I gave her a squeeze ball to use. I'm really not sure if that's a good idea or not. But I can see her favoring the right side; she just can't manage half of what she can do with her left.

Hi everyone,👍 especially those who have joined us recently. It makes things a little easier knowing you aren't alone, though it still gives me a bit of a shock every time I realize just how many of us there are.

Jesus. 😢

I really hope someone stepped up to help him out. 🙂

bluewalker30 said:I’m new here and haven't read through every single thread yet, but I’m one of those people who has gone through surgery, chemo, radiation... and everything else that comes along with the whole ordeal...
I just wanted to drop in and say hello, and to wish you all plenty of strength while fighting this disease, because if my own experience can help even one person, I’ll be happy about it...

Just by showing up and reaching out, you're already helping.👍

How did you manage the skin care during radiation? My mom only had five (or maybe it was six, I lose track) sessions, and her front side is all scraped up—honestly, it's hard to even look at—and her back has these spots that look like she got a massive sunburn right there.
She starts more radiation again this Monday, and I honestly have no clue what I should be rubbing on her. Those chamomile and aloe lotions didn't really do much of anything.
She’s gotten so thin and looks so frail, like a little dried-out twig.
I really don't know how she manages to endure all of this, moving from chemo to radiation and then starting over again, especially being so old.

God, if something like that ever hit me, I wouldn't even bother with treatment. 🙄
I'd be totally screwed.👎

brightgardener8 said:Mom started her first cycle of Temodal today—245 mg. She’s feeling nauseous and keeps throwing up. Does anyone have advice on how to help her through this? Angela Wright, do you know anything about this? I’m stuck at work and just don't know what to do. She already took some Reglan.
Back when she was taking Temodal for 42 days straight, she only felt sick once, though I’m not even entirely sure if it was actually the medication or just because she got worked up after the woman sharing her hospital room passed away. But even then, we were talking about a much smaller dose—only 125 mg.
Help!

Someone on this thread (I can't recall who exactly, but thanks a lot)👍 mentioned popcorn.
It actually helps my mom.
Supposedly they should be unsalted and oil-free. Honestly, during the really rough patches, even those stinky ones you cook in the microwave worked just fine. Even those helped her out.👍

Ryan Fisher64 said:Well... it’s over. Just... done. It feels like pure misery and heartache have just taken over everything. Mom passed away on July 31st at 4:30 in the living room. We actually moved her there because she started struggling with fluid in her lungs about three days ago, and thanks to my sister—who happens to be an anesthesiologist—we were able to get her settled where she could get the best possible care. We never left her side, just praying and hoping... though I suppose I was being an optimist right until the end, even when it was pretty obvious physically that she wasn't coming back. Her heart was such a fighter, though. I just sat there, staring at that damn monitor, watching the heart rate display and practically begging God to let things turn around, I swear. But her pulse was sitting at 40/20 and then it just vanished; it went from 70 to zero in five seconds, and then nothing. That heart... I know I’m probably being repetitive and annoying right now, but that heart is what kept both me and my sister going through all those terrible years when we didn't know where we'd be living or what we'd eat after Dad died. That heart worked overtime for us, especially for me, after the war ended, staying strong until about 18 months ago when we found out she had cancer. And in those last 18 months, she actually got a grandchild from both me and my sister. They’re still around, you know, looking toward her room, then walking past, looking all confused, because in their little heads, there’s this one person who always made them laugh and loved them so much. They turn back when they walk by the door, kind of like how a person turns around when they think they dropped something, just checking if they actually did. To everyone here on this forum, I truly, deeply hope things get better for you. If nothing else, just do one thing for me: as soon as you can, go hug your loved ones. Whether it’s your dad or your mom, it doesn't matter—just hold them tight. Because this... this hits so hard my hands are actually shaking. Please, for everyone who ever listened to me talk about my mom—and honestly, I've talked about her more than anyone else in my life—just take it to heart. Dammit.

My deepest condolences. 😘