Posts by Roger Hall15

Angela Wright said:Just take it easy and keep pushing forward by keeping those positive thoughts front and center in your mind.🙂

Thanks for that. 🙂

My head feels completely blank right now, which might just be my version of normal, though I have to admit there are moments when even I find the emptiness a little unsettling.

Drew Price73 said:...the body isn't the core essence...

That’s just how it is. 🙂

My mom had to go back for an IV drip again—it helps with the coughing immediately, at least—but she’s just finding everything so much harder to handle lately. She isn't losing any weight; if anything, she looks like she might actually be putting on a little bit.
Now we've got blood work scheduled for Monday, followed by her usual round of injections. They’ll draw her blood at home first, then she’ll head into the hospital if necessary, which is probably going to happen. We'll likely have another session before her next chemo on July 10th, and then we’ll just have to see how things unfold from there.

We finally got around to shaving her head, which was honestly such a heavy moment. She wouldn't even consider it until she had her wig ready, which, by the way, looks fantastic on her 😍 and now she’s even admitting that it makes her look much more put-together. She also has this headwrap—I think they call them turbans? It’s really easy to style, you just twist it and tuck it in at the front. I ended up shaving her while she was completely wiped out, so she just didn't have the energy to make a big scene about it.
I told her she could land a role in the Brotherhood Law. 😁

I need to figure out some kind of reward for her bravery. Maybe take her out for coffee, though I’d rather not overstimulate her too much. While she was still at the hospital, we managed to get her out in the sun for a bit one day, and then the very next morning she just wandered right out of the ward—that’s our other hurdle, a touch of Alzheimer. She caused quite a stir on the floor, and a few incredible strokes of luck were the only reason she didn't end up somewhere dangerous or in a bad situation.

Drew Price73 said:I’m just incredibly proud of my dad; he fought with everything he had right until the very end.
It’s hard, and it hurts that he isn't physically here with us anymore, but I feel lucky that I got those last few months
to spend some truly wonderful time by his side....

That’s why I keep saying it—none of us really knows how much time we have left, but we can certainly
make sure the time we do have is meaningful. Just hold onto that person, give them a hug, tell them you love them.... no matter how much you think it goes without saying, it means the world to them, and honestly, it leaves you feeling at peace, too...

Please accept my deepest condolences.

You wrote such a beautiful tribute. It just radiates warmth, and the thing is, love is something that never actually dies.
It’s the reason we’re all here, and if we leave this world having known it, then our lives weren't lived in vain. Truly, that's enough reason to find some happiness, even when you're trying to push through the grief.
Wishing you and your family nothing but the best.

Angela Wright said:Dad just left the hospital after taking Mom’s MRI results over to Dr. Paladin at the Mayo Clinic to see what our next move should be. We were really hoping he could drain that fluid buildup again, thinking maybe she’d feel a bit more like herself if the pressure was relieved. But honestly, the doctor said that isn't even the main issue anymore; the tumor has progressed so much that it's hit the brainstem and the other hemisphere. I think deep down I already knew this was coming—it felt logical in a dark sort of way—but actually hearing it... it just hits you like a physical blow. I'm sitting here crying, feeling completely helpless, just wanting so badly to do something, anything, to help her. It feels like my hope is slowly flickering out, and she’s all I have left. Oh, my sweet Mom, we had so much more life left to live together.🙂 Life can be so cruel.

You are walking through an incredibly heavy season right now. Just try to stay strong. Hang in there. 🙂
Do whatever you can to stay grounded in the present; don't get lost in the past because those moments are gone, and don't let the future overwhelm you since it hasn't arrived yet. All we truly possess is now, which is the space where you can focus on making Mom's final days a little more comfortable.
But listen, both the past and the future live on within us. Even when someone passes, they remain a part of us forever, and my own father stayed with me in that way—he was a man who loved his kids like almost no one else, and he left his mark on us. We are connected. We go through the process of letting go, and we do it together. We're in this alongside you.🙂
When people say "life goes on," they usually don't mean it, and they certainly don't understand the weight of it; their coldness and lack of empathy can hurt, but that is the reality of the message. Sometimes, old wisdom exists for a reason, and it’s worth listening to carefully. All that's asked of us is to find the understanding in it and—well, that's just how this world works—to learn from it.
Your mother is truly blessed to have you by her side, and she has given you something incredibly precious.
May God give you both strength.

Hi, especially to my mom's supporters.😘
Sending kisses to you all.🙂

I can't quite remember what I did or didn't mention in my last post, so if I end up repeating myself, please know it isn't intentional. Mom is heading in for her second round of chemo tomorrow, even though she was already losing hair after the first one. She’s been in a bit of a fog because of it.
Unlike me, my mother is a total makeup enthusiast.😁
I realized I forgot to mention that we're dealing with microcellular bronchial carcinoma. Most likely, that isn't the whole story. At one point, the doctors said they wanted to start chemotherapy as soon as possible—and we agreed. I mean, what else can you do? They needed some paperwork signed, so my brother took care of that.

At that stage, we only told her about the "growths" she had🙄 and that she was going in for chemo the next day. It sank in after a few days, and today she'll be able to state clearly that she has cancer.
I should mention that we decided to tell her despite the advice from most people, including some doctors. Everyone is different. In my view, you have to gauge how much a person can handle in that specific moment, knowing that the deeper realizations and conversations will follow later. And that's exactly how it played out.

She actually handled the first round of chemo surprisingly well, but as for what comes next—we'll just see. In the meantime (so, just over three weeks now), she had only one real crisis when she had to go into the hospital for an IV (because of some damn sodium issues). Whether it's the liver, the adrenal gland, or what the hell else is involved, we'll probably figure out which other organs are affected during future checkups.

She drinks noni and raw propolis every single day. As much as we can manage, we're following the budwig protocol. I'm working hard to learn as much as I can right now. I'm getting better at preparing that cheese mixture.😁 I stir ground flaxseeds into her soup, into any cheesy dishes, into her yogurt, and I give her Pikovit whenever I can (in fruit salad or juice), and I cook up as many green vegetables as possible while still respecting her cravings.
Today, the lady felt like having spaghetti milanese, so her daughter made it for her this morning before work.🙄

I found some whey protein powder, so I mix a little of that (which smells lovely of vanilla) into real whey. She drinks that every day too. It seems like we've finally stabilized her digestion. I honestly have no idea what's doing it.
It's all been small steps. Little progress every day. She made it, at least, to the second chemo session. I wasn't sure if she would. A visiting nurse suggested a certain regimen twice. We'll get all that sorted once she's back from this second round, but regarding anything related to all of this, we are simply doing whatever needs to be done right now. We told her it will happen however she wants it to. And she wants me to be the only one bathing her. 🙄

I'm realizing how important this life lesson is for all of us. I don't expect anyone to truly understand, except for those who have lived through it or are currently in the thick of it. And as for my issues with the people around me, well, you can imagine. Fortunately, I've reached a point where I just don't care anymore.😁

I lose my cool sometimes—when people bring her sweets, or when I can't explain to folks that she isn't in any condition to have visitors because her white blood cell count is shot and it could actually be dangerous. I talk about these things to others because I find it helps (just some spiritual venting, I won't bore you with it). Not to mention, I definitely snap at her sometimes when she won't listen to me or when she steals my cigarettes.😁

In the midst of all this, there is some grace and a touch of God, whatever you choose to call it.

My heart goes out to those mourning their loved ones.

To those of you fighting, and to those of us fighting alongside you, I wish only persistence. In the end, we are all primarily fighting ourselves.

Hang in there with me. 🙂

Grace Fowler said:Hey there!!!
So, I’m all set to start chemo this Monday; I’ve already shaved my head and picked out a wig... though honestly, what am I even saying? I guess since I’ve been through this before, I know exactly what the drill is, so it isn't exactly a mystery... I'm just really hoping things go smoothly this time around...
Hang in there...
BEST

Stay strong, lady. 👍

Anonymous said:she's heading in for surgery this Thursday 😢, so would you say that's good news or bad news?

I’d say those are definitely the good kind of news. 🙂

My apologies, Linda Campbell was just looking for some answers.

steelbadger83 said:Has anyone ever looked into alternative medicine? There’s this idea that by using brain scans, you can actually detect the body's state and pinpoint all sorts of ailments, even figuring out exactly when they started. The timing is everything because that’s how you link the illness back to a specific moment of stress we went through. Essentially, the theory is that every single disease is just a reaction to some sudden shock in our lives, and since those shocks caused the issues, resolving the underlying conflict is what actually cures them.
It honestly sounds pretty plausible to me, especially since they argue that things like metastasis don't really exist in the traditional sense, but are instead just new biological states triggered by ongoing conflicts.
I actually have a pamphlet that goes into quite a bit of detail about it, which I found fascinating, and I even sat down with a practitioner who specializes in this, and I have to say, I was pretty blown away by the whole thing.

I've finished my more aggressive treatments, though I'm still on hormones and taking a few other medications that keep me functioning normally enough.

Grace Fowler, hang in there.

Yeah, Dr. Hamer. There were some posts about him over on the spirituality boards.

There's stuff about it here too.

More, actually.

If you start Googling, you'll find a massive amount of information on this if you search in English.

Angela Wright said:I wanted to check in and let you all know how things are going on my end. Honestly, it’s pretty grim. Mom is getting weaker by the day, and Dad is just constantly taking his frustrations out on me.

Honey, I think you realize as much as I do that all this talk about money is really just an excuse. When life hits you this hard, everything starts to fray at the edges. Your dad isn't actually mad at you; he’s just venting all that desperation onto you because you're there. Being unemployed is a nasty, frustrating mess for both of you. What can you even do about it? There isn't a magic fix. These kinds of situations feel completely dead-end. That's why I'm not sitting here asking if you can just find some remote gig or a four-hour shift. If that were an option, you would have done it already. And even if you did land a job, your dad would probably just find something else to pick a fight about. My doctor always says that beyond the patients themselves, it's the families providing the direct care who need support too.

We all snap sometimes over nothing, and if someone doesn't just shut up and let it go, the whole thing turns into an avalanche. 😛

Cleaning up isn't even on my radar right now. I mean, I am washing piles upon piles of laundry, but you know how it goes—some things are just impossible to get clean once they sit there and dry. The washer is running constantly and there's always something soaking in a basin. Both my place and my mom's place—we live in the same building—are in a state of total chaos. Mom used to have a woman come by to tidy up and iron, but I haven't called her. I just don't have the mental energy. It's not even a priority.

If my mom lives long enough to be discharged from the hospital, we're going to be facing another impossible situation. I honestly have no idea how we'll manage. I can't even think past tomorrow; my only focus is mixing up a little cocktail for her for the next day. Oh, I did start giving her some farmer's cheese mixed with flaxseed oil and ground seeds. She'll eat a spoonful or two, and it actually tastes okay if I mix in some dried fruit. Tomorrow I might try peanut butter; she likes that flavor. Anything beyond tomorrow feels like it's happening in a different galaxy.

brightgardener8 said:Hey everyone!
The other day I actually put in the work and sat down to read through EVERY single post in this thread; now that I feel like I have a bit of a handle on everyone here, I’ve noticed most of you have just gone quiet. Where did everybody go, and what’s actually happening?

It feels like we’re all just drifting through some kind of collective crisis lately. My mom is doing really poorly, and honestly, the prognosis isn't looking any better. The cancer isn't at a stage where they can operate, and right now, she isn't even strong enough to handle any kind of treatment. It's hard to say if they'll even be able to start anything to try and slow the progression down, or if we're just stuck waiting to see what happens next.
Her sodium levels just keep plummeting, so they put her on an IV drip for a few days, but then as soon as she starts stabilizing and actually coming around, the whole thing just resets and starts all over again. It really can't work that simply, and apparently, the doctors are searching for some kind of permanent fix to break the cycle first. We're honestly just sitting here with no idea what's going to happen next.

On one hand, I actually feel a sense of relief now. Before this, I was completely lost, just staring at her and wondering what on earth was happening to her brain and body—trying to make sense of why she’d suddenly become so unbearable or why she was saying and doing such wild, nonsensical things when it was so obvious she was suffering. Now, finally, there's an answer: it's Alzheimer's and cancer. We'll see how we handle the first one, since that isn't exactly going to take her out in a few days, but the cancer? That might. At least now I know exactly who the enemy is. Having these diagnoses actually makes everything click into place, because honestly, some of the previous conclusions were just plain wrong. Last year, she ended up in the hospital because they suspected she’d had a stroke, but aside from some sodium deficiency, they couldn't find anything else; everything came back clean. Back then, they just chalked up her erratic behavior to the low sodium levels, which maybe should have pointed toward carcinoma, though it could just as easily have been a side effect of her medications. Her chest X-rays showed absolutely nothing. She had this cough that just kept getting worse—it was honestly painful to listen to—and while she’d have good moments, she’d have bad ones too. She went in for checkups, and every single time, the doctors told her everything was fine; I think they even did two lung scans during those visits, but they didn't catch a thing. Then, things just spiraled quite rapidly, and she was hospitalized for a second time. This time, the doctors told us they wouldn't be discharging her until they figured out what was actually going on. Once again, they hit her with IV drips to fix the sodium levels and kept suspecting cancer, but as far as her brain goes, they say that part is okay.😁 And they couldn't find a single thing anywhere, which just goes to show that cancer really has to decide to reveal itself on its own terms. It wasn't until they ran the chest CT that everything finally came into view, and then the bronchoscopy confirmed it—though by that point she had already been moved over to Jordanovac. In the middle of all that, we hit another major crisis involving intensive radiation treatment, but since she was already admitted to the hospital, things moved along a bit faster, even if she's feeling significantly weaker now.

Somewhere along the line, an Alzheimer's diagnosis was confirmed, which honestly feels like it might be a bit of a blessing in disguise amidst all this chaos. Looking back now, I can see how she slowly started shifting, gradually becoming a different person altogether. There were those moments when my old mom would peek through, that version of her that could send my blood pressure skyrocketing with just a single sentence—you know, the way only our mothers can do.😛
She’s feeling it somewhere around where the lung peaks are—which I guess was her version of saying "my stomach hurts" while she kept clutching her left side—and her back is acting up too.

We didn't tell her. Whether we should have—well, who really knows. At this stage, there’s just no point in it. If she were still lucid enough for someone to actually sit down and explain things to her, the truth would probably just plunge her into a state of profound grief and misery, and then Mr. Alzheimer would step in anyway to make sure she forgot the whole thing.😁
He really made sure my mom became an incredibly fun and witty person, too. We laugh together so much that you honestly wouldn't believe it if I told you. And she just laughs along with us, straight from the heart.👍

Once she finally drifts off to sleep, we’ll just head on back home and absolutely lose it, like popcorn popping all at once.

Everything is moving at such a breakneck pace lately that it’s honestly a bit hard to keep my footing, but all things considered, I think my brother and I are handling this whole situation pretty well. As for where we find the strength to keep going, only God knows.

So, here I am again. I posted on this thread a while back, but since there wasn't even a whisper of cancer back then, I didn't really feel like participating.
But I’ve been lurking, reading all your stories. 🙂

Even before we got that diagnosis, things were feeling pretty heavy, mostly because we were stuck in that limbo of not knowing what was actually happening. There comes a point where you just feel like you've hit a brick wall.
During her last hospital stay, the tests finally caught a lung cancer.

The doctor tells us not to lose hope, but honestly, after all the testing they've done over the last few months, even she seemed surprised it hadn't surfaced sooner. We lost so much precious time. I'm just at a loss right now.

Anyway, she’s heading in for more scans tomorrow to see if there's any metastasis or where it might be hiding. They'll be driving her over to the Mayo Clinic for that, and then later to a specialist center in Jordanovac.

Mom is incredibly weak. She’s already dealing with pain and seems to be losing weight, though she was always tiny to begin with. Her appetite is still okay for now.

She’s also been a lifelong smoker, and even in this state, she managed to sneak a cigarette somewhere in the ward. They actually caught her smoking in the middle of the night.🙄

One day at a time, one step at a time. I honestly have no clue how anyone does this.

I’ve already lived through that moment when someone passes away in an instant and it feels like half your heart is ripped out of your chest. I don't know if I can go through that again. And I don't know how much time we have left.

Angela Wright said:Honestly, that sounds wonderful, though I have my doubts🤔 about whether my mom would actually feel comfortable having anyone else—especially a stranger—changing her diapers besides me, my dad, or the home health aide. Besides, we’ve developed our own little system that works for us, even if it wouldn't suit someone else. For instance, I have to head out to San Francisco for a couple of days (my best friend is getting married), and the thought of leaving my dad alone just makes me sick😢 . It takes two people just to get my mother up and seated on her commode; one of them has to be strong, specifically a man, because she’s basically like a heavy sack with zero balance—completely atrophied and weighing 73 kg thanks to those damn dexamethasone shots. And I need a break, I really do🙂 . The routine is killing me: lifting her at 5:30 AM, maneuvering her onto the commode, administering the glycerin suppository into her thick colon, then waiting for the bowel movement, and finally getting her back into bed onto the waterproof pad and cleaning her up. You have to do it all solo—lifting an arm, a leg, turning her on her side—because you can't exactly put a clean diaper on a body that's still wet from urine. We have to rush through all of this before Dad leaves for work, because once he’s gone, there's nobody to help me lift her. Our visiting nurse shows up around 8:30, so she mostly just handles washing up, brushing teeth, and maybe changing a diaper if Mom hasn't already had to go. We tried lifting her together once, and she just slipped right onto the floor. Luckily, my boyfriend was nearby and jumped in to help; the two of us simply couldn't manage it. That's really the biggest hurdle for us; everything else regarding her care feels doable, but the physical lifting is the struggle.
For those quick one or two-hour gaps, I've managed to find help through a volunteer from the local hospice association, so when I absolutely have to run errands in town, I call a volunteer, but that's a rare occurrence. For now, Dad and I just coordinate and make it work somehow.

Girl! 🙏 Respect!🙏

When it comes to the lifting, they tried explaining the "proper technique" to me. I asked the nurses at the hospital, and they showed me—and honestly, kill me now—I still don't get it. I just remember them gesturing, saying "like this," while giving these totally vague demonstrations. Things improved for a bit so we didn't need to worry about it, but it'll be necessary again soon, and I am just not ready. It's like my brain wiped that part of the memory clean. It is physically impossible to lift a completely limp patient; it feels like they weigh 550 pounds.

Call me crazy, but I care, yet my brother and I actually started laughing😲 (probably because we snapped) since we couldn't even lift what felt like 90 pounds together.

Hey there, everyone. 👋

I’m looking to get some perspective from people who actually have experience dealing with critically ill patients.
So, a suggestion was floated recently—there are a few of us here facing similar struggles at home, some of us know each other through mutual friends or just casual run-ins, while others are more distant, but the idea was to see if we could connect and organize ourselves to some degree to help one another out. The vision, as far as I can tell, is that if someone hits a wall, gets sick themselves, or just needs a break—maybe they need to travel for work or just disappear for two days to finally catch up on sleep because, let’s face it, that becomes a desperate necessity sometimes—the rest of the "group" would step in. We're talking about jumping in to handle rides to the doctor, picking up prescriptions, hospital visits, grocery runs, cooking, laundry, managing medications, or whatever else pops up.
Even though it sounds like a pretty decent idea on the surface, the reaction has been an absolute disaster.
Everyone is 😱 against it. And honestly, I am too.
Look, obviously everyone has their own unique set of needs, but at the end of the day, there are plenty of things where we could genuinely make life easier for one another.
What are your thoughts on something like this—just speaking generally, without getting bogged down in the weeds, but you know what I mean—critically ill patients are all essentially in the same boat when it comes to certain necessities. And their families are right there in the thick of it with them.

Your Results:
You're a Midwesterner!
You've got a real soft spot for the United States, a good old-fashioned dance, making memories, and enjoying a few drinks. Fields and mountains remind you of the Midwest.

😍 🙂

Only 25% accurate. 👋

dustyranger61 said:Anyone actually interested in this?

Yeah, it’s actually pretty decent reading, even if it is a bit of a mishmash of random stuff.😁 I suspect most people probably already have a digital copy sitting on their hard drives somewhere. 😉

What I mean is—just upload it somewhere and drop the link.
Don't just copy and paste it here. 😲

THIS IS EASY 🙂

For months on end, a brutal drought had been punishing the fields and the hills alike. People, animals, grazing lands, and even the little
backyard gardens were all just desperate for a bit of relief—some gentle rain. Even the Rio Grande itself had practically
shriveled up to nothing. Everyone was praying, pleading, basically begging. But the sky just wouldn't budge. Then, out of nowhere, the
Queen appeared in the valley, trailing this magnificent entourage behind her. The people started crying out for help, for any sign of water,
because they were honestly on the verge of dying from thirst. And the Queen, being a truly pious ruler who understood the heavy
weight of the elements, showed genuine humility before the heavens and the earth. Suddenly, with a massive crack of thunder and a flash of lightning, a torrential downpour swept in,
bringing life back to the people, the livestock, the pastures, and the plains. As the rain fell, folks looked up at the clouds and saw the image of their Queen, weeping along with them. It was a moment where everyone, everywhere, wept together... 😉
This legend, which was penned about a century ago, is just one of those many tales the public tells regarding how things began... GUESS WHAT!
Water has always been a big deal, especially in the rocky terrain of the West, which makes sense if you think about it,
so it’s naturally picked up these mythical, almost supernatural qualities over time. Honestly, I doubt you could find anywhere else with more justification
for legends and myths than right THERE.😉

Arthur Martinez7 said:To whoever decided to tear down houses in Mad—this isn't even about the property itself, it's just an insult to decent people who have actually lost their minds.😁

Fine by me. 😁😁

Ever since we switched over to the current networks, they’ve made it a tradition to air that one-of-a-kind, absolutely legendary, and always hilarious masterpiece of a sketch, Dinner for One, right alongside the usual programming.
Honestly, that’s the kind of thing I actually look forward to watching.