Honestly, just stick to the medical-grade stuff—brands like La Roche-Posay, Avène, RoC, or Bioderma. You can find them all at any local CVS or Walgreens, so just grab some testers and see what actually works for you without causing a meltdown. Generally speaking, the shorter the ingredient list, the less likely your skin is going to throw a tantrum. It wouldn't hurt to go see a dermatologist too, just to be safe.
During my pregnancy, my heart would just start racing for absolutely no reason at all, and my doctor ended up putting me on those effervescent magnesium 300 tablets which basically made every single one of my symptoms vanish into thin air. He probably really is just running low on magnesium, and honestly, I don't see any harm in him trying a single dose.
Justin Fox Stitching up over an old scar hurts way more—at least that’s what the doctors tell you—because the tissue is just thicker. As for getting extra anesthesia, it’s not like they just hand it out whenever you ask; sometimes you just have to suck it up and deal. Honestly, I haven't met a single woman who didn't feel that sting, regardless of the numbing. But truthfully, it doesn't even matter. It's actually wild how the second that baby arrives, you completely forget about the pain, no matter how much it sucked; if that weren't the case, nobody would ever go for a second kid. Since my first was with an epidural, this was a totally different ballgame for me, and I can tell you, I had no idea what to expect. All I really cared about was making sure the baby was okay (amidst all the noise and drama, that’s the only thing that's actually real), so I was basically just a bystander in my own story. You only start overthinking what you should have done, said, or demanded once everything is already over, but in the heat of the moment, none of that even crossed my mind. And if my husband hadn't been there for the delivery🙂—even though that was the plan—it would've been a whole different story. They say at the hospital in Washington, D.C., husbands are usually allowed in, but since they haven't finished the renovations in the maternity ward, they aren't letting anyone in right now. They talk a big game about how you can do this or that, but unfortunately, the reality on the ground is a little different.
Justin Fox The postpartum period is basically those first 40 days where doctors insist your body needs time to just... reset itself. As for the stitches, they gave me local anesthesia so those initial ones didn't hurt a bit, but man, when she went back in with the tweezers to fix the old incision—which I specifically asked about—it was absolute agony. Still, the woman clearly knew her stuff because I’m already sitting totally fine.👍 Susan Martin24 Kudos to those pregnant female doctors you see in American TV shows, but honestly, pass. A friend of mine isn't even a doctor, just a nurse, and she ended up having an abortion because she caught rubella while working at the hospital during a really early stage of pregnancy. Also, just because you aren't working doesn't mean you're stuck on the couch being lazy. For instance, there was a stretch where I actually had to stay off my feet (which wasn't an issue at all in my last pregnancy), but once that phase passed, I was back to being super active. Maybe that's why labor was such a breeze, since I was working out right up until the end; the day before I gave birth, my husband and I walked the entire length of the coastline from Opatija to Ičić and back.😎
Regarding going back to work early, everyone should just do what works for them. Personally, there isn't a job in the world worth leaving a tiny baby home alone for (unless we're talking about basic survival, obviously). I work as a preschool aide, not a doctor chasing some high-powered career, so I feel like everyone's choice is their own business. I don't think we should be looking to Western examples of "career climbing" as some kind of gold standard. I work to live; I don't live to work. I don't see how becoming modern-day corporate slave—and actually thinking that's some kind of massive achievement—is doing myself any favors. But hey, it's your life and your choice.
I gave birth 8 days ago—specifically on Monday the 19th—over at the hospital in Washington, D.C. And yeah, I ended up getting an incision just like I did with my first baby. Honestly, I don’t know how much we can actually trust any specific medical consensus here (it feels like some of the moms in my circle are way too militant about their views, and frankly, I don't always see eye to eye with them), but I can definitely speak to my own experience. My first baby was nearly five pounds over the limit, which meant more stitches and a recovery that dragged on for about three weeks. This time, the baby is almost 4 kg, there were fewer stitches, and I can already tell I’ll be sitting normally and getting back to my routine without a hitch. I didn't have issues with the old scars, so I’m hoping this won't be an issue either. For the first one, I had an epidural, but this time it was natural because I didn't even show up to the hospital until contractions were hitting me every five minutes, so the whole thing wrapped up in about an hour.🙏 The stitching part itself was 🙂 🙂, but the doctor really went all out to make sure everything looked perfect.😁 The woman in my room had a massive tear during delivery and her situation was honestly a total disaster; she couldn't even sit up or turn onto her side without help. I felt so bad for her. Her baby wasn't even that big. There was also another woman who didn't need any stitches at all (it seems like at the hospital in D.C., they don't just cut everyone by default, but rather decide based on how things look, though personally, I'd much rather have an incision than deal with what that poor woman went through), and since it was her second child, she was able to sit up just fine, and I have to say, I’m pretty jealous. So, my take is that you shouldn't just cut every woman for no reason, but then again, tearing is so easy to happen and that is definitely not something you want. A friend of mine tore during birth, and now, ten years later, she still deals with pain and tightness whenever the weather changes because the scarring is so uneven. But hey, you know how it goes, you have to make your own choices. That said, it is absolutely inexcusable that the hospital bought that cheap thread a couple of months ago, causing basically every other postpartum mom to end up needing the stitches pulled out. Also, regarding the idea of working up to three days before birth and then heading back to the office after only three weeks—in my opinion, that is just terrifying, both for the baby and the mother. From a purely medical standpoint, postpartum recovery lasts about 45 days while the uterus returns to normal, so anything less than that is overkill. On top of that, leaving a three-week-old baby without their mother (especially if she's breastfeeding) is just senseless, obviously excluding those extreme cases where someone literally has to work just to survive. There isn't a job in the world worth leaving a newborn behind for; they need their mother's milk, her voice, and her embrace to grow up properly.
vividseal16 says: Tips for living your best, healthiest life
* Get those 7-8 hours of sleep consistently * Hit at least 30 minutes of physical activity every single day * Don't skip breakfast * Aim for about 8 glasses of water daily * Break your daily calories down into five smaller meals * Skip the snacking and steer clear of greasy, salty, or sugary junk * Make sure you're eating fruit and veggies every day * Keep your weight in a healthy range * Avoid stressful situations and learn how to handle the pressure when it hits * Don't smoke Marlboros * Drink alcohol in moderation or just cut it out entirely
- Honestly, I’ll sleep for 10 hours straight if I get the chance, but I always make sure I hit at least 8 because I could seriously pass out anywhere. - I’m active way more than 30 minutes a day, plus my job keeps me on my toes constantly since I work as a preschool teacher. - I never eat breakfast and honestly, it never even crosses my mind; I just grab a cappuccino in the morning and then have some fruit around 10:00 AM, which is plenty for me until lunch, and I usually eat lunch around noon. - In the summer I drink way more water, but in the winter? Not really, though I don't see any point in forcing it, especially not trying to chug 3 liters a day because that's just going to wreck your kidneys. - I usually have a cooked meal for both lunch and dinner around 6:00 PM, and if I get hungry during the day, I'll grab some fruit or yogurt, though I don't follow a schedule—I just eat whenever my stomach tells me to. - I don't have much of a sweet tooth, but I'm all about cheese and olives, and I truly believe a little bit of natural fat like bacon isn't going to kill anyone and is actually perfectly fine for you. - I eat. - I have. - Stress be damned. - I don't smoke Marlboros. - There is zero chance I won't have a glass of red wine with my lunch.
granitesailor33 said:Look, I’m just speaking from what I’ve actually seen out there, and obviously not everyone is the same, but that skin elasticity you see on Black people is just something I’ve never encountered with White people.
I can't speak to the elasticity part, but personally, I don't find Black skin particularly beautiful; it tends to be pretty coarse and textured on the face—kind of like having acne-prone skin—and it often looks uneven or lacks that smooth, fine finish. Plus, they're medically more prone to hyperpigmentation, and honestly, some Black women deal with some seriously intense cellulite. But it's a total fact that they tend to have more muscular builds, and most Black or multiracial women naturally carry more muscle than White women, especially when it comes to having those stronger thighs and glutes, which obviously look even tighter if they put in even a little bit of work at the gym.
Amanda Lee42, I’m not sure if I can be of much help here, but Dr. Peharec in San Diego was a total lifesaver for me, especially since I spent an entire year being treated for the wrong thing because of a botched diagnosis over at the Mayo Clinic. I know he does manual adjustments too, so that might actually be worth looking into for your husband.
On a related note, you really need to go out and get a second opinion, because honestly, it sounds like your doctor hasn't even given you a real diagnosis or figured out what's actually causing this. Plus, if she’s claiming your hormones are fine, then why on earth is she putting you on birth control and acting like hormone therapy is the magic fix? Just don't go rogue and start treating yourself, but definitely start pulling in some other experts to see what they say. Besides, if you're constantly losing blood like this, you're staring down the barrel of anemia, and you seriously shouldn't mess around with that. Good luck.
Regarding private versus public doctors—honestly, I spent years paying out of pocket for specialists in San Diego because I thought I was way too high-maintenance to sit around in waiting rooms, but once you get pregnant, you pretty much have to stick with your assigned provider, so I signed up with Dr. Salomon over in La Jolla and I’ve gotta say, she’s absolutely incredible. She doesn't skimp on a single thing, from testing for every possible bug, fungus, or bacteria in your urine to ultrasounds and full blood panels, plus she goes above and beyond with all those mandatory prenatal checkups, so I’m usually in and out of her office in about ninety minutes. Now, if you head over to the hospital in San Diego, Dr. Clark is phenomenal; he’s got hands as rough as a dockworker, but I haven't encountered a doctor quite as gentle as my lady here yet. I'm probably being naive, but I don't think just because someone runs a private practice while another works through Medicaid means one is top-tier and the other is garbage. At the end of the day, it really just comes down to the individual and how much they actually give a damn about their work, which is why I still swear by face-to-face communication, though let's be real, nobody is born with the ability to make everyone happy.
Hey driftingstag8, what kind of tea are you actually sipping on and where do you even find it? I need to stock up on some serious supplies before I have this baby.
Ugh, don't even talk to me about those little monsters. They're seriously going to eat me alive. I've never dealt with this before, but ever since I found out I was pregnant, they won't leave me alone. My OB-GYN keeps prescribing Canesten and Geonistin because she says those are the only things safe enough during pregnancy, but after three days, it's just the same old story all over again. She claims it's all caused by the pregnancy hormones. She tried to comfort me by saying some women deal with this for their whole lives, 😲but then I saw some moms on a forum claiming they swear by soaking a tampon in rosehip oil and it works wonders. My doctor says she doesn't recommend that while you're pregnant, though. Honestly, I feel like she actually has no clue and is just sticking to the official meds like most doctors do. But I really don't want to take any risks, so I'm sticking with the Canesten for now. Still, maybe you could give the oil thing a shot—who knows, maybe it actually helps. If anyone else has dealt with this kind of mess during pregnancy and knows what actually worked, I would be so incredibly grateful if you could let me know 🙏
Look, you’re the one who has to make this call, period. The reality is that women who have never been pregnant before might actually deal with more emotional fallout later on compared to those who’ve gone through childbirth and then chose an abortion. I haven't walked that path myself, but a close friend of mine ended a pregnancy when she got pregnant for the third time. Back then, they were renting a tiny apartment with two kids already and there was just zero way they could afford another one. Since we’re best friends, I see firsthand how much that still eats at her today. At the time, she didn't second-guess herself because the reasons against keeping the baby were so overwhelming, but now the guilt is definitely hitting her. I'm telling you, this is incredibly heavy stuff for any woman and it's totally different for everyone. Personally, I wouldn't do it—but hey, that's just me. And again, speaking strictly from my own life, my kids are my absolute greatest joy. Even when they stop being cute little things and start developing their own stubborn personalities😁, they remain the most precious thing I have. That doesn't mean it works that way for everyone else, though. I think ruggedfalcon is spot on when she says that once you clear away all the noise and the fears, you just need to look deep down and figure out what you actually want. Do you see yourself as a mother or not? Obviously, there are going to be massive hurdles, but anything worth having requires some struggle—whether that's grinding through college or raising kids or building a career. Whatever you decide, I'm rooting for you and sending you tons of strength and sretno🙂