Handheld camera work—you know, that shaky "walking" style. It’s used specifically because it pulls you right into the middle of the action, making everything feel way more visceral and real. Unless you just don't get it.
Man, you’re just spinning your wheels here—talking in circles without actually making a point. This whole "running turns muscle into fat" thing? Please. Stop trying to sound smart when you clearly don't have a clue. What people actually think is turning into fat is just pure fat—because when folks stop hitting the gym but keep eating like they’re still training, they bulk up. It's simple math. If you just scaled back the calories and stopped lifting, you’d lean out. And honestly, if you started training again, you’d get back to your old self way faster than some total newbie. Real bodybuilders can't exactly go for long jogs because they carry so much mass their hearts can't keep up—they'd drop after a few hundred yards. If you want to be an actual athlete—someone with muscle who can actually run—you need a heart that can handle the load. Running burns through mass, period. Your body is lazy like that. If you want to stay shredded and jacked at the same time, you have to balance both, otherwise you’re just heading toward one extreme or the other. That’s why track athletes look skinny (aerobic metabolism) while sprinters are built like tanks (anaerobic metabolism). That strength comes from heavy lifting, not sprinting. At the end of the day, it's your call: do you want to weigh 140 lbs and run a decent mile, or bench 265? Your choice...
This movie is absolute garbage. If anyone actually thinks this flick is good, they honestly shouldn't be allowed to call themselves a cinephile or a film buff or whatever else. Scheisse !!!!!!!!!!
I highly doubt it. Honestly, I think they’re just a bit full of themselves—totally convinced they're saving the world or starring in some big Hollywood movie to chase global fame. Just imagine the top-tier PR manager and massive marketing budget they must have had to sell that garbage.
Brandon Ortiz88 said:Look, what does it matter if a movie doesn't follow D&D rules? That doesn't mean it can't be a solid piece of Fantasy.
I get that they don't *have* to follow them, but if you aren't capable of building an original world from scratch, at least respect the D&D lore. Not everyone has the chops to invent good Fantasy... That's all I was getting at.
There’s really no need to get all defensive. I’m immune to insults—honestly, they don't phase me at all. But you totally dodged my "review." Your only real take is that I’m not some authority? Fine then—if you're so qualified, why don't you actually write something? Don't be lazy, for crying out loud.
Honestly, I couldn't care less what people on this forum think about me—especially if they actually take internet boards seriously—but you clearly don't, since you're just out here living your life. I’m just laying out my own takes and some other people's arguments that I happen to agree with. From what I can see, you don't even have actual points to make; you're just spitting venom and throwing insults at me. If that's really all you've got, then maybe just walk away from the topic, because this whole thing is honestly unnecessary.
In any case, they know way more than you do. Using the phrase ''my personal impression'' actually describes an objective experience of the movie. It’s well-written. And honestly, if you're out here questioning the whole concept of art, who even gives you the right to decide who's educated enough to comment on it?
I see you’re still leaning heavily on insults as your primary argument, but fine. Since you clearly haven't seen enough movies to recognize decent editing or even grasp the basic concept of art, let me try to break down why this flick is actually garbage. Direction — the predictability here is just unreal, and I’m not just talking about the plot points, but the camera angles and all those little details too. From the opening setup about how everything used to be great—which we already knew was coming thanks to Jeremy before the movie even started—to the actual events and that subtle "sequel bait" everyone caught onto immediately. Honestly, it's obvious the guy directing this spent his whole career working on special effects instead of storytelling. Character relationships are completely half-baked from start to finish. There's zero emotion in this thing, and zero payoff. Acting — Jeremy Irons tried his absolute best to save this mess, and you can tell he put in the work, but he just can't overcome a desperate script and even worse direction. That Dragoness woman speaks in such a monotone way, like she’s just reading lines off a teleprompter without any soul. I won't even touch that little blue kid; it's painfully obvious they just took the brat who wrote the book and gave him a paycheck to play the lead. And Malkovich? He totally lost my respect—he shows up three times just to say "death" and "punish" and other equally "surprising" crap for a movie like this. Set design looks more like war-torn Albania than some kind of dreamworld. And don't even get me started on the logic gaps, like a horse being faster than a dragon. No need to go there. It's glaringly obvious this movie was based on a book by some kid who basically just slapped a Star Wars vibe onto a Lord of the Rings setting. The character names are so pathetic and cliché they actually hurt to listen to. My personal take? They couldn't have squeezed much more out of such a bottom-of-the-barrel script. If they had just stuck to the rules of Dungeons & Dragons, it might have been a solid effort, if nothing else, for the fans. But trying to invent a whole new world is just pathetic and failed miserably—not everyone can pull that off, which is exactly why people don't try it. It’s freaking hard. Not everyone is Tolkien. But hey, we live in a world where any piece of trash can be sold as gold if they market it right...
I don't need some fancy film degree to tell the difference between a masterpiece and total garbage. That’s why movies are art—just like anything else—and self-taught creators are just as valid as the ones with formal training. Honestly, though, I think I might actually be closer to being a film scholar than you are, since you're out here claiming Star Wars is fantasy... You pretty much said it all yourself.
Samuel Ortiz3 said:God, you're talking absolute nonsense. First you claim tastes aren't up for debate, then you turn around trying to convince everyone else they're wrong if they think the movie is good. You're being incredibly contradictory. And what kind of "rules" are you even rambling about, for crying out loud?!! Are there actually rules here? It's Fantasy. That whole genre is built on imagination—it’s honestly ridiculous to suggest there are set rules for building an unreal world, characters, or plots... everything! That's basically the whole point of Fantasy. That's why it's called F A N T A S Y! 🙄 D&D rules for coffee?! Man, I hate narrow-mindedness. It's the same kind of gatekeeping you see in music (especially with metalheads).
Look, you're just talking trash (to put it in your terms). If you’d actually bothered to read what I wrote, you’d realize I was distinguishing between the subjective and objective experience of a film. There’s zero contradiction there. Objectively, the movie is garbage. Subjectively, it can be whatever (THAT’S WHAT TASTE IS). Personally, I liked maybe two lines of dialogue, and that's about all that saves the movie for me. So, to ME, it isn't total trash. Charles Taylor10 already explained beautifully why the movie is objectively bad, even if she doesn't care either way. That’s what I was getting at, but you just twisted it to fit your own narrative and started throwing insults.
As for Fantasy, do yourself a favor and actually read up on what the genre is. Go hit up an American fantasy forum and do some research before you start insulting people and spouting nonsense about things you clearly know nothing about. To you, I bet Harry Potter counts as fantasy. Newsflash: it doesn't.
Look, I’m not trying to start a fight here. But honestly—if you actually think this movie is good, you clearly don't know anything about cinema because, objectively speaking, this is one of the absolute worst films of the year. As a piece of Fantasy, it’s total garbage since it ignores basically every rule in the Dungeons & Dragons playbook. Even as a "new" fantasy world, it fails miserably for all those same reasons—which is why some people have already realized the whole thing is complete trash. It would have worked best as a campy cult classic if it just leaned into being ridiculous, but instead, it tries to be dead serious, which is an utter disaster. If you’re out here telling me this movie is great, I honestly don't know what else to say about your taste in film. Sorry, but that's just the reality. Try to be objective for once. You might subjectively enjoy a certain line, a dragon, or the soundtrack, but strictly looking at the quality? This movie is just plain bad.
My buddy is a total fantasy fanatic (he’s deep into D&D). He's all about that stuff—dragons that are actually smart, elves, dwarves, orcs, humans, you name it. You definitely don't get that kind of depth in Harry Potter. Honestly, just head over to Reddit or something and see what people have to say about it.
That’s honestly irrelevant. He shouldn't have been released in the first place—period. Whether it’s "ethical" or not is just a side issue at this point. Honestly, I don't think they should even be force-feeding him; just let him, you know, pass away naturally.