Finally feels like we’re actually getting into a decent groove with the chatting today... Honestly, Saturdays and Sundays are always the worst days for staying in touch, aren't they? It’s that weird paradox where the people who actually have free time end up having way too much of it, while everyone else is just slammed and can't find a second to breathe.
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Carl Rivera43 › Posts
Posts by Carl Rivera43
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It’s happened more than a few times where some acquaintances—let's call them "casual friends"—are hanging out with me, and they'll respond to everyone else's texts almost instantly. But the second I'm not right there at the coffee shop with them? Suddenly, my messages go unanswered for ages. It’s funny, isn't it? When I finally ask why they were so MIA, the standard excuse is always "Oh, I was just grabbing coffee." Look, if you're sitting there having coffee for two hours, there is a 99.314% statistical probability that you'll have at least a few ten-second windows to glance at your phone. Why is that so hard to believe?
You’ve got it all wrong.
What I'm saying is
Women who have that specific vibe
Those who remind you of Zeljko are usually the fastest to catch on.
Then you have the ones like Taylor Swift—they're a bit more hit or miss.
And those similar to Lady Gaga? You hardly ever see them.
What I'm saying is
Women who have that specific vibe
Those who remind you of Zeljko are usually the fastest to catch on.
Then you have the ones like Taylor Swift—they're a bit more hit or miss.
And those similar to Lady Gaga? You hardly ever see them.
Sometimes I find myself chatting with people who act a bit hyper-focused on their screens {they usually get back to me almost instantly}
But honestly? It seems like women who are, say, a bit more conventionally attractive tend to take way longer to reply than everyone else
It’s kind of wild when you look at the timing, right? For example
Željko Vedran Markić - replies in about 2 to 8 seconds
Taylor Swift - replies in maybe 2 to 4 hours
Lady Gaga - just sends an emoji {maybe seven to twenty days later}
But honestly? It seems like women who are, say, a bit more conventionally attractive tend to take way longer to reply than everyone else
It’s kind of wild when you look at the timing, right? For example
Željko Vedran Markić - replies in about 2 to 8 seconds
Taylor Swift - replies in maybe 2 to 4 hours
Lady Gaga - just sends an emoji {maybe seven to twenty days later}
https://www.moj-posao.net/Savjet/764...-sa-svakim/46/
I gave those long-winded questions a shot, but honestly, I’m still not seeing the results I wanted. I'm working the graveyard shift tonight, and I have to admit, I'm getting a little too caught up in my own head and old memories.
Most of the time, it just boils down to this... some people truly don't care much about it.
And honestly, there are so many bizarre combinations you see with those emojis. It's wild.
I really need to start asking more open-ended questions.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Examples_of_emojis
That would prevent people from using, you know, just a single emoji.
And honestly, there are so many bizarre combinations you see with those emojis. It's wild.
I really need to start asking more open-ended questions.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Examples_of_emojis
That would prevent people from using, you know, just a single emoji.
The real issue is that some guys move way too fast, along with those women who just aren't really hitting the mark
Sometimes you get these totally bizarre questions popping up, like: "Where are you?" or "When are you gonna hit me up?" or "Who's coming over?"
Meanwhile, you have these gorgeous women who might take two, three, or even ten whole days—hell, sometimes weeks—just to reply
And then there are the ones who just respond with weird, random emojis
Sometimes you get these totally bizarre questions popping up, like: "Where are you?" or "When are you gonna hit me up?" or "Who's coming over?"
Meanwhile, you have these gorgeous women who might take two, three, or even ten whole days—hell, sometimes weeks—just to reply
And then there are the ones who just respond with weird, random emojis
So basically
It’s funny how people work, right? Some folks take forever to get back to my texts or calls... while others are practically on top of me the second they need something from me.
How do I actually train myself to stop being such an instant responder?
For example, when I see a notification pop up on my iPhone showing a little preview of the message... how am I supposed to resist the urge to just tap it and read the whole thing immediately?
I really need to learn how to slow things down a bit.
It’s funny how people work, right? Some folks take forever to get back to my texts or calls... while others are practically on top of me the second they need something from me.
How do I actually train myself to stop being such an instant responder?
For example, when I see a notification pop up on my iPhone showing a little preview of the message... how am I supposed to resist the urge to just tap it and read the whole thing immediately?
I really need to learn how to slow things down a bit.
Communication issues
in Psychology & Therapy ·
Sometimes, people who act "interesting" will go out of their way to manipulate others or belittle those they consider boring. If you ask me, it’s all just a massive ego trip.
It’s honestly pretty sad how much things have shifted lately. Nowadays, it feels like being a total jerk is actually rewarded if you happen to be driving a luxury car. Suddenly, certain women find that kind of guy fascinating.
It’s depressing to scroll through Facebook and see people posing with religious symbols while typing out nothing but hateful comments. Remember when everyone was obsessed with bashing anyone who got vaccinated? That was huge for a while. Now, it seems like the trend is to attack innocent Russian civilians who don't even care about politics. Then you've got the classic sports hooligan stuff—just endless, senseless hatred toward Mexicans or fans of rival teams.
I find it absolutely wild that people filled with that much hate actually manage to find girlfriends and stuff.
Values change so fast, doesn't it? Everything feels upside down. Between Instagram and TikTok, social media is basically rewiring the brains of our youth.
It’s honestly pretty sad how much things have shifted lately. Nowadays, it feels like being a total jerk is actually rewarded if you happen to be driving a luxury car. Suddenly, certain women find that kind of guy fascinating.
It’s depressing to scroll through Facebook and see people posing with religious symbols while typing out nothing but hateful comments. Remember when everyone was obsessed with bashing anyone who got vaccinated? That was huge for a while. Now, it seems like the trend is to attack innocent Russian civilians who don't even care about politics. Then you've got the classic sports hooligan stuff—just endless, senseless hatred toward Mexicans or fans of rival teams.
I find it absolutely wild that people filled with that much hate actually manage to find girlfriends and stuff.
Values change so fast, doesn't it? Everything feels upside down. Between Instagram and TikTok, social media is basically rewiring the brains of our youth.
Communication issues
in Psychology & Therapy ·
Communication issues?
I’ve been starting to notice that in this modern age, actually communicating {especially through writing} is getting even harder than it used to be.
Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I can be a bit of an oddball sometimes—maybe even a {tough} conversationalist. But honestly? Even though I know I can be {a little bit} boring at times, I still find myself totally baffled by how some people act {or maybe it's just their constant dodging of questions, I don't quite know how to put it}.
It mostly happens on social media. It’s absolutely fascinating to me when someone responds to a question after a six or seven-hour gap {even though I can see they're actively scrolling through their feed, so clearly they're online}, or even worse, when they take three or four days to get back to you {mostly happens with women, but still}. And then, when they finally do, it’s just a tiny one-word answer or a single emoji. {It’s genuinely exhausting from a psychological standpoint}.
I’ve been starting to notice that in this modern age, actually communicating {especially through writing} is getting even harder than it used to be.
Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I can be a bit of an oddball sometimes—maybe even a {tough} conversationalist. But honestly? Even though I know I can be {a little bit} boring at times, I still find myself totally baffled by how some people act {or maybe it's just their constant dodging of questions, I don't quite know how to put it}.
It mostly happens on social media. It’s absolutely fascinating to me when someone responds to a question after a six or seven-hour gap {even though I can see they're actively scrolling through their feed, so clearly they're online}, or even worse, when they take three or four days to get back to you {mostly happens with women, but still}. And then, when they finally do, it’s just a tiny one-word answer or a single emoji. {It’s genuinely exhausting from a psychological standpoint}.
People who act like they want to hang out, but actually don't?
in Psychology ·
Being afraid of people you don't even know? Honestly, that's just a bizarre kind of absurdity. Pretty concerning if you ask me.
Too many temporary fixes
in Spirituality ·
The thing that messes with my head the most is just that feeling of being totally burnt out, you know? Like I'm stuck on a hamster wheel. When that happens, I feel like I’m losing my grip on who I actually am. I spend way too much time dwelling on what happened yesterday instead of actually putting in the work to fix things today.
Too many temporary fixes
in Spirituality ·
Temperament?
When it comes to my temperament, I’d say I’m pretty mild. Honestly, I think it might even be mellowing out as I get older. I rarely pick fights. It feels like I’ve become incredibly easygoing. Maybe I show a little bit of grit in an email or a phone call here and there, but in person? I actively avoid conflict. I just don't have the energy to get worked up over nothing. Why bother?
Physically, I’m quite thin, but I’ve got plenty of stamina. I can ride a bike for miles or go for long walks without much trouble. Though, during those walks, you might catch me walking with my head down a bit, moving at a slower pace. If I have somewhere to be—especially if I'm relying on the subway or the bus—I make sure I'm early. Being punctual is important to me.
Parties? Well, it depends. I'm closer to some people than others. Sometimes I’ll agree to hang out just because I'm bored, and other times, I’d rather just grab a coffee by myself or head to a concert solo. There's a certain peace in that, isn't there?
Yeah, I’ve grown used to hardship. But honestly, I’m also pretty fed up with it. Even though things weren't "extreme" in my own family, we dealt with our fair share of moderate struggles. They aren't fun, especially when they happen frequently, like they have over the last 20 years. This goes back to what I said about my temperament softening. I don't argue much, which means I don't talk to my family very often either. It's not that I despise them, but I do hold some grudges. No abuse happened, mind you, but there's still tension.
It’s also strange to me when I see people who, by most standards, are doing better than I am. You know, people with stable relationships, better careers, solid finances, or active social lives. I see them complaining endlessly about tiny inconveniences—like having to wear a mask at a CVS or finding out a local Starbucks was closed. When I see that, it feels like they are making themselves massive victims when they really aren't. They exaggerate their struggles so much. Then again, I’ve heard people claim that *I* exaggerate my own hardships too. I guess it’s all just a cycle, right?
When it comes to my temperament, I’d say I’m pretty mild. Honestly, I think it might even be mellowing out as I get older. I rarely pick fights. It feels like I’ve become incredibly easygoing. Maybe I show a little bit of grit in an email or a phone call here and there, but in person? I actively avoid conflict. I just don't have the energy to get worked up over nothing. Why bother?
Physically, I’m quite thin, but I’ve got plenty of stamina. I can ride a bike for miles or go for long walks without much trouble. Though, during those walks, you might catch me walking with my head down a bit, moving at a slower pace. If I have somewhere to be—especially if I'm relying on the subway or the bus—I make sure I'm early. Being punctual is important to me.
Parties? Well, it depends. I'm closer to some people than others. Sometimes I’ll agree to hang out just because I'm bored, and other times, I’d rather just grab a coffee by myself or head to a concert solo. There's a certain peace in that, isn't there?
Yeah, I’ve grown used to hardship. But honestly, I’m also pretty fed up with it. Even though things weren't "extreme" in my own family, we dealt with our fair share of moderate struggles. They aren't fun, especially when they happen frequently, like they have over the last 20 years. This goes back to what I said about my temperament softening. I don't argue much, which means I don't talk to my family very often either. It's not that I despise them, but I do hold some grudges. No abuse happened, mind you, but there's still tension.
It’s also strange to me when I see people who, by most standards, are doing better than I am. You know, people with stable relationships, better careers, solid finances, or active social lives. I see them complaining endlessly about tiny inconveniences—like having to wear a mask at a CVS or finding out a local Starbucks was closed. When I see that, it feels like they are making themselves massive victims when they really aren't. They exaggerate their struggles so much. Then again, I’ve heard people claim that *I* exaggerate my own hardships too. I guess it’s all just a cycle, right?
Too many temporary fixes
in Spirituality ·
Can I spot when people are struggling? Maybe. Honestly, I just want everyone around me to be happy. It genuinely makes my day when good things happen to them, and it sucks when they hit a rough patch. I try to step in and help whenever I can. Sometimes it might look like I’m looking for something in return, but most of the time, that’s just not the case at all.
When someone is going through it, I do my best to lend a hand. Some days I manage to make a difference, and other days? Not so much.
Dealing with bossy types? Yeah, I’m not really a fan. They aren't exactly my circle of friends. Occasionally, they end up being buddies with my friends or acquaintances, so I find myself stuck in their orbit every now and then. And honestly, it's usually a bunch of guys; I actually have way more women in my life as friends or acquaintances. I usually grab coffee two or three times a week, and I much prefer one-on-one chats or small groups of maybe four or five. Anything bigger than that? Rarely happens for me. I’m pretty flexible with everyone else's schedules, though. For instance, I work from home and plan to keep it that way—it's a huge perk, especially since I don't have to deal with looking directly at the bosses or middle management all day.
Oh, and one more thing... I want to grow. I truly believe I can.
When someone is going through it, I do my best to lend a hand. Some days I manage to make a difference, and other days? Not so much.
Dealing with bossy types? Yeah, I’m not really a fan. They aren't exactly my circle of friends. Occasionally, they end up being buddies with my friends or acquaintances, so I find myself stuck in their orbit every now and then. And honestly, it's usually a bunch of guys; I actually have way more women in my life as friends or acquaintances. I usually grab coffee two or three times a week, and I much prefer one-on-one chats or small groups of maybe four or five. Anything bigger than that? Rarely happens for me. I’m pretty flexible with everyone else's schedules, though. For instance, I work from home and plan to keep it that way—it's a huge perk, especially since I don't have to deal with looking directly at the bosses or middle management all day.
Oh, and one more thing... I want to grow. I truly believe I can.
Too many temporary fixes
in Spirituality ·
You hit the nail on the head. It’s definitely that melancholy vibe, sometimes even feeling a bit phlegmatic.
To be honest, I find it way easier to go along with what everyone else wants than to chase my own goals. {I guess because I've dealt with so many setbacks lately, I've just scaled back my expectations, and then it hurts even more when even the little things don't pan out.}
A few years back, life was moving at a much faster pace for me. But looking back, I realized I spent way too much time complaining about everything, almost out of habit. Now? I just end up dealing with this irrational sense of guilt all too often.
To be honest, I find it way easier to go along with what everyone else wants than to chase my own goals. {I guess because I've dealt with so many setbacks lately, I've just scaled back my expectations, and then it hurts even more when even the little things don't pan out.}
A few years back, life was moving at a much faster pace for me. But looking back, I realized I spent way too much time complaining about everything, almost out of habit. Now? I just end up dealing with this irrational sense of guilt all too often.
Too many temporary fixes
in Spirituality ·
Drew Moore5 said:Where’s the spiritual element in all this?
Look, I’ll let the opening questions slide, because honestly, people ask all sorts of random things. But the responses? They really ought to be framed within a spiritual context.
Look, I don't know much about spirituality myself. I'm really just curious to hear what people who actually know their stuff think. What's your take?
Isn't it a good thing if we can help someone out, even just a little bit?
Too many temporary fixes
in Spirituality ·
Short-term fixes? That’s stuff like grabbing drinks with friends, hitting the mall, or catching a concert. Then there are those weird, paradoxical comforts—like the anticipation of meeting someone new, or that little hope that I might finally connect with a woman who actually gets what I need.
Long-term goals are pretty standard: career stability, if that happens; a steady relationship, if not; or just finding peace within myself. And probably having more real friends—you know, actually seeing who wants to be there and who doesn't.
My love life? Well, like I said, the paradox is in the anticipation of meeting someone. It feels a bit like playing the lottery, honestly. But sometimes I feel this pang of guilt because I do it that way, or because my criteria for meeting people are way too broad, or because I’m just not sure if I can truly show up as myself in a serious relationship.
I’m not a hateful person—and I don't think I deserve to be hated—which actually hurts a bit because I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. I mean, I don't hate people, though I do feel contempt sometimes, but I haven't felt true hatred in ages. Still, I've made mistakes, and maybe the reason I'm not sure if I deserve kindness is because of them. Maybe some resentment from others is just a signal for me, a way to see where I need to pay attention. It’s hard to sit with emptiness, and it’s hard to accept that certain things aren't coming back. Sometimes I feel like I’m not grateful enough, and that stings.
Falling in love doesn't happen for me very often. Probably because of old wounds, or just this feeling that life hasn't really flowed through me. Like I’ve spent too much time being a background character instead of the lead, or an object rather than a person with agency.
Has my past weighed on me? Absolutely. For instance, I finally landed a decent job a few weeks ago, but getting there was brutal—nearly two and a half months of grinding through almost 20 different interviews. That whole stretch really took a toll on my confidence. As for being persistent? Sometimes I am, usually when job hunting, though I can get a little too intense about it at times.
Unfortunately, I tend to fixate on the negatives. I try to rationalize why things are bad, but I often get lost in all the flaws of even the best ideas.
And yeah, my goals are often blurry. It’s like I’m trying to make up for everything that was lacking in my past. I’ll be turning 32 soon, but part of me feels like I’m in my early 20s—I hang out with people that age, and even people in their late 20s act like they're 22, so I feel like I'm 23. But then, walking down quiet streets on a cold winter night, I suddenly feel like I’m nearing retirement. Like I’m 50 with five failed marriages behind me. It’s as if everything I’ve heard, seen, and felt has piled up so heavily that I’m just trying to make sense of a life that feels too massive to grasp right now.
So, regarding reaching those milestones... that's the thing. There are these mental brakes. Sometimes I think I’ve outgrown them, but the truth is, a lot of things from my younger years were left unfinished.
Oh, and the subconscious is incredibly powerful in hindsight. It brings up so many extra questions, and let's face it, you can't really run away from yourself.
Also, my willpower has taken a hit. It’s not gone, but when I can't even reach the lower expectations I keep setting for myself month after month... well, that really slows me down.
Long-term goals are pretty standard: career stability, if that happens; a steady relationship, if not; or just finding peace within myself. And probably having more real friends—you know, actually seeing who wants to be there and who doesn't.
My love life? Well, like I said, the paradox is in the anticipation of meeting someone. It feels a bit like playing the lottery, honestly. But sometimes I feel this pang of guilt because I do it that way, or because my criteria for meeting people are way too broad, or because I’m just not sure if I can truly show up as myself in a serious relationship.
I’m not a hateful person—and I don't think I deserve to be hated—which actually hurts a bit because I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. I mean, I don't hate people, though I do feel contempt sometimes, but I haven't felt true hatred in ages. Still, I've made mistakes, and maybe the reason I'm not sure if I deserve kindness is because of them. Maybe some resentment from others is just a signal for me, a way to see where I need to pay attention. It’s hard to sit with emptiness, and it’s hard to accept that certain things aren't coming back. Sometimes I feel like I’m not grateful enough, and that stings.
Falling in love doesn't happen for me very often. Probably because of old wounds, or just this feeling that life hasn't really flowed through me. Like I’ve spent too much time being a background character instead of the lead, or an object rather than a person with agency.
Has my past weighed on me? Absolutely. For instance, I finally landed a decent job a few weeks ago, but getting there was brutal—nearly two and a half months of grinding through almost 20 different interviews. That whole stretch really took a toll on my confidence. As for being persistent? Sometimes I am, usually when job hunting, though I can get a little too intense about it at times.
Unfortunately, I tend to fixate on the negatives. I try to rationalize why things are bad, but I often get lost in all the flaws of even the best ideas.
And yeah, my goals are often blurry. It’s like I’m trying to make up for everything that was lacking in my past. I’ll be turning 32 soon, but part of me feels like I’m in my early 20s—I hang out with people that age, and even people in their late 20s act like they're 22, so I feel like I'm 23. But then, walking down quiet streets on a cold winter night, I suddenly feel like I’m nearing retirement. Like I’m 50 with five failed marriages behind me. It’s as if everything I’ve heard, seen, and felt has piled up so heavily that I’m just trying to make sense of a life that feels too massive to grasp right now.
So, regarding reaching those milestones... that's the thing. There are these mental brakes. Sometimes I think I’ve outgrown them, but the truth is, a lot of things from my younger years were left unfinished.
Oh, and the subconscious is incredibly powerful in hindsight. It brings up so many extra questions, and let's face it, you can't really run away from yourself.
Also, my willpower has taken a hit. It’s not gone, but when I can't even reach the lower expectations I keep setting for myself month after month... well, that really slows me down.
Too many temporary fixes
in Spirituality ·
Is it just me, or is life getting a little too heavy on the quick fixes?
Why does it feel like the good stuff is so rare, {while the half-measures or the real heartbreaks seem to stick around forever}?
I don’t know, I kind of get the feeling that by chasing all these tiny, temporary distractions, we end up hitting what people call—life saturation. Basically, we're just burnt out on this way of living.
It really hurts, honestly. That sense of emptiness in my love life... I'm not trying to be bitter, but sometimes it's hard not to feel a bit envious.
How do you actually go about finding lasting goals {instead of just settling for temporary comforts}?
Why does it feel like the good stuff is so rare, {while the half-measures or the real heartbreaks seem to stick around forever}?
I don’t know, I kind of get the feeling that by chasing all these tiny, temporary distractions, we end up hitting what people call—life saturation. Basically, we're just burnt out on this way of living.
It really hurts, honestly. That sense of emptiness in my love life... I'm not trying to be bitter, but sometimes it's hard not to feel a bit envious.
How do you actually go about finding lasting goals {instead of just settling for temporary comforts}?
Project: Find a Friend (Classifieds / Meetup Thread)
in Psychology & Therapy ·
I’ve got a ton of ideas swirling around in my head, so if anyone wants me to share them, just give me a shout!
There's a huge chance we could actually meet up in person too.
I'd definitely prefer moving the conversation over to something faster, like WhatsApp, Facebook, or something similar.
As for where I am, I'm in a town somewhere between Kašin and Jastrebarsko. I'm 31 years old, and I'm looking for someone roughly between 22 and 44—give or take a few years.
There's a huge chance we could actually meet up in person too.
I'd definitely prefer moving the conversation over to something faster, like WhatsApp, Facebook, or something similar.
As for where I am, I'm in a town somewhere between Kašin and Jastrebarsko. I'm 31 years old, and I'm looking for someone roughly between 22 and 44—give or take a few years.