Responding too fast vs. too slow: What's the best way to communicate?

So basically

It’s funny how people work, right? Some folks take forever to get back to my texts or calls... while others are practically on top of me the second they need something from me.

How do I actually train myself to stop being such an instant responder?

For example, when I see a notification pop up on my iPhone showing a little preview of the message... how am I supposed to resist the urge to just tap it and read the whole thing immediately?

I really need to learn how to slow things down a bit.

Carl Rivera43 said:How do I stop myself from replying to messages way too fast?

Once you see the message, just kill your Wi-Fi.

Or start watching a movie—make sure it’s at least two and a half hours long.

Fine. Honestly, you shouldn't give a damn about these messages. I always operate under the assumption that if something truly vital is happening, people will just pick up the phone and call me; if it isn't urgent, they can wait until I actually find a spare moment to get back to them.

It’s a matter of etiquette, really. When I see a response, I reply.

The real issue is that some guys move way too fast, along with those women who just aren't really hitting the mark

Sometimes you get these totally bizarre questions popping up, like: "Where are you?" or "When are you gonna hit me up?" or "Who's coming over?"

Meanwhile, you have these gorgeous women who might take two, three, or even ten whole days—hell, sometimes weeks—just to reply

And then there are the ones who just respond with weird, random emojis

William Grant20 said:That's the way to do it. Honestly, who cares about messages? I just figure if it’s actually important, people will call me. If not, they can just wait until I have a second to reply.

The guy is asking because of women.

I’ve always felt that being quick to reply is just good manners, honestly, so I don't really see why people make such a big deal out of it. To me, you just knock out one task, check it off the list, and then it's not hanging over your head anymore.

But look, if you're the type who really prefers to put off responding to messages, then stop staring at your phone like it's glued to your hand. Either leave it in the other room or just set a schedule for yourself—like, "I'll check my texts three times a day and deal with them then."
If this whole thing is specifically about one particular person driving you crazy, just mute their notifications and be done with it.

Carl Rivera43 said:The issue is that some guys move way too fast, especially when dealing with women who aren't exactly breaking any hearts.

It leads to these bizarre, repetitive questions like: "Where are you?" "When are you going to hit me up?" "Who's coming over?"

Meanwhile, you have these incredibly attractive women who might take two, three, or even ten whole days—hell, sometimes weeks—to actually reply.

Or they just hit you back with some weird, random emojis.

Whether those gorgeous women are doing it on purpose to play hard to get or they genuinely just can't find the time because their inbox is overflowing, it's the same result.

Respond when you can—ideally, as soon as you’re able.

If someone needs a few hours to get back to you, just adapt to their pace.

Sometimes people are genuinely busy, and other times, they simply don't care.
If you're dealing with someone playing games by timing their replies—trying to pull that hot-and-cold routine—you either move them to the top of your priority list or you cut ties entirely.

You shouldn't lose your mind over the small stuff, but if someone clearly isn't interested in talking to you, why should you waste your breath on them? 🤷

Nicole Myers said:I actually think replying quickly is a total virtue—honestly, I don't see the issue. You knock out one task, and boom, it’s off your plate for good.

If you’re really hell-bent on procrastinating your replies, then stop staring at your phone constantly. Just leave it at home—or, you know, set a schedule where you check it maybe three times a day and get through them all at once.
And if this is just about one specific person driving you crazy? Just mute their notifications.

👍

Carl Rivera43 said:The issue is that some guys move way too fast, and then there are women who just don't bring much to the table.

Sometimes you get these weird questions like, "Where are you?" or "When are you gonna hit me up?" or "Who's showing up?"

Meanwhile, some hot women will take two, three, or even ten days—hell, sometimes weeks—to actually reply.

Others just hit you back with some random, pointless emojis.

🤣🤣🤣

Most of the time, it just boils down to this... some people truly don't care much about it.

And honestly, there are so many bizarre combinations you see with those emojis. It's wild.

I really need to start asking more open-ended questions.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Examples_of_emojis

That would prevent people from using, you know, just a single emoji.

I gave those long-winded questions a shot, but honestly, I’m still not seeing the results I wanted. I'm working the graveyard shift tonight, and I have to admit, I'm getting a little too caught up in my own head and old memories.

https://www.moj-posao.net/Savjet/764...-sa-svakim/46/

The advice is solid, but it misses the main point of how you actually get through to people. You have to be a smooth operator. That’s the key. 🍿

Carl Rivera43 said:The issue is that some guys are way too eager—especially when dealing with women who aren't exactly high on the attractiveness scale.

Sometimes the questions are just absurd: "Where are you?" "When will you call?" "Who's coming?"

Meanwhile, some attractive women might take two, three, or even ten days—maybe weeks—to actually reply.

Others just respond with bizarre emojis.

I don't see any correlation between how attractive someone is and how fast they text back. It’s more likely about how they were raised, whether they actually have free time, or if they just have a mature outlook—you know, without all that middle school drama.

Anthony Nguyen81 said:Reply when you can. Ideally, as soon as you can.

If someone needs a few hours to get back to you, just adapt to their pace.

Sometimes people are busy; sometimes they just don't care.
If it's someone playing those hot-and-cold games with response times, you either make them a priority or you cut ties.

You can't lose your mind over certain things, but if someone clearly doesn't want to talk to you, why would you bother talking to them? 🤷

🙂

Nicole Myers said:I consider quick replies to be a virtue, so I don't see the issue. You check it off your list and move on.

But if you really want to delay responding, stop staring at your phone. Leave it at home, or decide you'll only check messages three times a day and answer then.
If it's just about one specific person, just mute the notifications.

🙂
There you go. They've covered everything.😁

Alex Carter said:I don't see any correlation between how attractive someone is and how fast they text back—it’s more likely a matter of how they were raised, how much free time they actually have, and whether they possess a mature mindset (unlike those kids still stuck playing video games all day).
🙂
🙂
There you have it—they've summed it up perfectly.😁

👍

Sometimes I find myself chatting with people who act a bit hyper-focused on their screens {they usually get back to me almost instantly}

But honestly? It seems like women who are, say, a bit more conventionally attractive tend to take way longer to reply than everyone else

It’s kind of wild when you look at the timing, right? For example

Željko Vedran Markić - replies in about 2 to 8 seconds
Taylor Swift - replies in maybe 2 to 4 hours

Lady Gaga - just sends an emoji {maybe seven to twenty days later}

Carl Rivera43 said:The reality is that women who are, say, more curvaceous respond way slower than others.

For example, it looks like this:

Željko Vedran Markić — response in about 2 to 8 seconds.
Taylor Swift — response in about 2 to 4 hours.

Lady Gaga — an emoji {maybe after seven to twenty days}.

Sure, if Lady Gaga is living life in the clouds—but if she’s a girl with a normal mindset, a healthy self-image, and a grounded view of the world, she won't be sending an emoji ten days late. Of course, that assumes she actually wants to chat and isn't just using silence to signal she couldn't care less. But you'll experience that same thing from Markić or Taylor Swift if they aren't feeling it.
So again, it's not about attractiveness—it's about how you perceive yourself compared to others, whether there's any actual desire to talk, or how much that person matters to you. It's like... you might not really feel like texting your Uncle Vincent, but he's family and you love him, kind of. So you reply. That's how it works. There are a lot of factors at play.

Anyway, nothing like dropping a philosophical thought at 7 AM on a Sunday while the rest of the sane world is still asleep.😍

Man, as long as we all know he's just some poser who spends his time DMing celebrities 🥳