placidranger said:My old man decided to head back to college at 43. He’d finally had enough after two decades of staring at spreadsheets in some cubicle—just total burnout. He enrolled in a part-time program about sixty miles away, knocked everything out right on schedule, and now he's hunting for a new gig. He worked full-time while studying, too; managed to cut a deal with his manager to flex his hours and make up the time later.
That whole "it's too late" narrative? It's complete nonsense. edit: I suppose—and I hate to say this—it probably helped him that he doesn't have his own father hovering over him anymore, criticizing every move or trying to dictate his life.
Bah... changes are barely even noticeable. You won't see any real shift for maybe 10 or 15 years—which is why you actually have to bother reading reviews.
Larry Lewis2 said:I finished my Master’s, but now I don't have a dime set aside for a PhD.🤷 It’s funny how life works out sometimes—you find yourself wishing you could just swap places with someone else for a moment, just to see what it feels like.😵 Getting through my Master’s thesis was an absolute uphill battle; I struggled so much just trying to access full academic papers. Since I’m not affiliated with a major university, I don't have access to half the databases I actually need.😢 And oh, the things I want to look into!🙂 I had such big dreams of conducting research and writing papers... but reality usually has other plans, doesn't it? 😢
Maybe you’re just burnt out. Sometimes when you're completely overextended, everything starts looking a lot bleaker than it actually is. Or maybe you're hitting that mid-life realization where you feel like you've already hit your ceiling, and it all just piles up at once.🤷
How are things at home? Honestly, grab your partner's hand and just get out of town for the weekend. Or better yet, take some vacation time, head down to Maui, and just focus on being creative. Sketch, paint, do some 3D modeling—just find a way to recharge those batteries.🙂
It feels like everyone is struggling lately. So many people I know are going through their own personal crises right now.
Sometimes all this research feels like a total scam. All the charts are just rigged to make my boss look good. Honestly, there’s barely any difference between five of his papers—just moving empty data from one pile to another. One study uses 57% ethanol, the next uses 53%. It's all just filler to pad a resume.
Gerald Jones3 said:It’s easy to say, "just change something." But there’s always some massive complication standing in the way. I ended up enrolling in pre-law, and that’s what I’m stuck studying right now, even though I couldn't care less about it and can't see myself ever being an attorney. I tell myself there are other career paths you can take with this degree, but it’s a hollow consolation. I always wanted to go into architecture, but I never picked up a drafting pencil, my math and physics grades were mediocre at best, and let's not even get started on how cutthroat the admissions process is for those programs. Even if I tried now, it feels too late—not to mention my parents definitely wouldn't foot the bill for tuition after I blew my chance by picking law in the first place. So, I gave up. Since I had to pick something, I landed here. I'm struggling through it because, besides the lack of interest, I'm just not the type to pull all-nighters in the library. I thought about transferring, but I've already wasted a few years on that idea. What am I supposed to do? Wait another year for entrance exams only to potentially get rejected from every other school? Honestly, I don't even know anymore. My drive for anything else has completely evaporated, including that old dream of architecture. I've looked into options, but none of the art schools seem like they'd offer any real stability. Long story short: I'm not doing what I love, and I probably never will.
I felt pretty much the same way when I was retaking my sophomore year... So, how's it going now? Am I back at square one at some other university?
But you know what? Maybe I should have done it. (Though saying that ten years later feels a lot easier than it actually was...)
Gerald Jones3 said:It’s easy to say, "just change something." But there’s always some massive complication standing in the way. I ended up enrolling in pre-law, and that’s what I’m stuck studying right now, even though I couldn't care less about it and can't see myself ever being an attorney. I tell myself there are other career paths you can take with this degree, but it’s a hollow consolation. I always wanted to go into architecture, but I never picked up a drafting pencil, my math and physics grades were mediocre at best, and let's not even get started on how cutthroat the admissions process is for those programs. Even if I tried now, it feels too late—not to mention my parents definitely wouldn't foot the bill for tuition after I blew my chance by picking law in the first place. So, I gave up. Since I had to pick something, I landed here. I'm struggling through it because, besides the lack of interest, I'm just not the type to pull all-nighters in the library. I thought about transferring, but I've already wasted a few years on that idea. What am I supposed to do? Wait another year for entrance exams only to potentially get rejected from every other school? Honestly, I don't even know anymore. My drive for anything else has completely evaporated, including that old dream of architecture. I've looked into options, but none of the art schools seem like they'd offer any real stability. Long story short: I'm not doing what I love, and I probably never will.
You sound like you're having a harder time than I did. Give me a little optimism here—you're only in your early twenties. Look at me: 32 years old, two kids, a mother-in-law in the guest room, and an endless PhD dissertation.
James Allen6 said:A lot of people find themselves in a similar situation to yours. I suppose you shouldn't let all of this weigh on you quite so heavily, mostly because your life isn't actually in a bad place, and I think it’s important to keep that in mind. My own parents tend to view the arts through the lens of "you can't pay the rent with that," but if you feel certain about your path, maybe you should take the leap and head in a different direction.
If I were in your shoes, I probably wouldn't make any radical moves just yet, since financial security carries so much weight in today's world. However, I wouldn't neglect the things that truly fulfill me and feed my soul either. As a teaching assistant or a professor at a university, you'll likely have plenty of free time for your hobbies. Since you're still at the beginning of your career, things might feel more difficult now, but once you earn your credentials, you'll have much more time to dedicate to your art. I guess you should just be patient until you've secured a steady job, and then you can pursue what actually makes you happy. Life is long. Have patience.
Looks like we've got two totally different schools of thought here. Some of you think you should go all in, while others say you need to balance your passions against reality...
Tyler Clark5 said:I read your "tragic" story, and I have to wonder what you're actually aiming for here. Are you looking for us to admire you because you're chasing a PhD? Or should we pity you for being a victim of circumstance? At the end of the day, you are a grown man. You aren't dependent on your parents for their validation, praise, or critiques. Just drop the doctorate and everything else making you miserable. Get a job teaching at a local high school—the pay is decent, the hours are great—and spend your free time doing what you actually love. Stop playing the victim. Pick a path and own it. No one can force you to do something you hate. If you're obsessed with titles and prestige, then grit your teeth and be a respected, bitter, frustrated academic. But if you realize life is too short to chase empty accolades and you'd rather just be happy every day—even with a smaller paycheck or some judgment from neighbors—then make a radical change. I am not trying to insult you. I know things are tough right now... but your life and your choices belong to you. We can't fix this for you; we can only offer advice that might seem a bit unsolicited. It is a losing game to just drift along and feel hopeless every single day. Best regards,
Blunt and honest. Respect. 👍 If you actually met my old man and heard his take on art... you'd understand why I'm stuck in this "pitiful grad student" phase, living back home on weekends.
And trust me, my life isn't all sunshine and rainbows. Most people my age already have a decade of career under their belts, cars, and houses, while I'm still stuck in the classroom. 😠
But honestly, a radical change sounds better than sitting on the fence just to chase those "titles and social status" you mentioned.
placidranger said:I'm asking myself the same thing.
Look, you're actually in a great spot because you know exactly what direction you want to take. There are plenty of people out there juggling full-time jobs, kids, and endless errands, having absolutely no clue what they want to do with their lives—they're just drifting. You have a goal.
Why a postdoc, though?
It’s just the standard path for researchers—kind of like a highway... once you have the PhD, there aren't many other exits... maybe a role at a big pharma company like Pfizer, or an adjunct gig at some university...
So, I finish the PhD and head straight into a postdoc. Same old routine. Time is slipping away, I'm sinking deeper into academia... and yet I feel further than ever from those childhood dreams. I wonder where that turning point actually is. What has to happen before I finally get to do what I’m actually built for?
Richard White16 said:I’m actually in a very similar boat myself; I’ve dedicated my entire life to the arts, but because of some physical limitations, I just can’t turn it into my main way of paying the bills. Honestly, maybe it’s for the best! Just imagine if you were trying to support a whole family solely through sculpture—the sheer crushing pressure of feeling like you're failing your kids if you can't provide what they deserve would be overwhelming. I truly believe that if you had to rely on it for survival, you’d end up resenting both the sculpting and art in general. What I mean is, why not dive headfirst into sculpting as an intense, passionate hobby since it brings you so much joy? That’s exactly how I handled my own situation, and let me tell you, I feel absolutely wonderful! I have this close friend who is a phenomenal musician—he actually studied at the Juilliard School in New York—but now he’s finishing up a law degree at Yale for the exact same reason of financial stability. He still plays music constantly, but he does it purely for the love of it, and he’s incredibly successful and happy because he gets to do what he loves while having a solid, reliable career to fall back on. I’m not sure how much comfort this provides, but ever since art stopped being my primary source of income that I depend on, I find myself enjoying it so much more!🙂
There's a lot of truth in that... I've thought about it. But if I had a standard 9-to-5—something routine where I could just switch off—it wouldn't be nearly this hard.
bluetiger23 said:hmm... I’m currently a biology major, and honestly, I guess I just can't wrap my head around how someone could possibly stick it out through four years of undergrad and then push all the way through a PhD if they aren't actually passionate about the subject matter much at all. 😕 It doesn't really strike me as being quite like studying something like business or economics where you might feel like, okay, I'll just power through this degree because I'm not entirely sure what else I'd do with my life (and hey, no offense intended to the econ majors, I definitely don't mean to imply that everyone does that)! And when it comes to the whole creativity argument, I mean, wouldn't you say that biology actually offers up such a massive amount of opportunities where you really need to be creative? Plus, just purely out of curiosity, where on earth did you manage to find such an amazing job that offers a four-day work week with three days off?
Why wouldn't it be clear? I studied, pulled all-nighters, and took the exams. I was a pretty solid student, so I made it through everything—minus one failed year, obviously.
bluetiger23 said:hmm... I’m currently a biology major, and honestly, I guess I just can't wrap my head around how someone could possibly stick it out through four years of undergrad and then push all the way through a PhD if they aren't actually passionate about the subject matter much at all. 😕 It doesn't really strike me as being quite like studying something like business or economics where you might feel like, okay, I'll just power through this degree because I'm not entirely sure what else I'd do with my life (and hey, no offense intended to the econ majors, I definitely don't mean to imply that everyone does that)! And when it comes to the whole creativity argument, I mean, wouldn't you say that biology actually offers up such a massive amount of opportunities where you really need to be creative? Plus, just purely out of curiosity, where on earth did you manage to find such an amazing job that offers a four-day work week with three days off?
Maybe. If you're at the postdoc level running your own project, sure—you might actually find some passion there. But even then, that's only if you enjoy long-term slogs where you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. A project that drags on for three years just to pile up data isn't exactly like sculpting clay or carving wood, where you actually see results in a month.
bluetiger23 said:hmm... I’m currently a biology major, and honestly, I guess I just can't wrap my head around how someone could possibly stick it out through four years of undergrad and then push all the way through a PhD if they aren't actually passionate about the subject matter much at all. 😕 It doesn't really strike me as being quite like studying something like business or economics where you might feel like, okay, I'll just power through this degree because I'm not entirely sure what else I'd do with my life (and hey, no offense intended to the econ majors, I definitely don't mean to imply that everyone does that)! And when it comes to the whole creativity argument, I mean, wouldn't you say that biology actually offers up such a massive amount of opportunities where you really need to be creative? Plus, just purely out of curiosity, where on earth did you manage to find such an amazing job that offers a four-day work week with three days off?
Since I'm a postdoc, I'm stuck at the lab for 16 hours straight on Wednesdays. I leave the NBA on Thursday afternoons, then I can try to crunch some data at home over the weekend.
William Lee3 said:do something before it reaches that point...
Do what? I'm stuck in Chicago for work four days a week—then I spend the other three back home with family. I can't exactly spend my time off out in the garage hacking away at some firewood.
I realized while working in the molecular biology lab that this field just isn't for me—but I’ve been white-knuckling it this far. Everyone kept telling me to just finish what I started... So many years wasted, when my heart was always pulling me toward painting, sculpting, and all those "childish" pursuits. I ended up enrolling in a PhD program just because everyone else was doing it—it felt like the only way to avoid being stuck as a high school teacher forever.😢 Even when I manage to scrape by on an exam or a term paper, the whole thing just crushes me. I feel like I'm going to snap.
I'm drifting further and further away from what actually matters to me. What kills me most is knowing I actually have talent—some of my amateur sculptures have even gotten praise—but I'm past thirty now. I've got a wife and kids to think about, so I need a paycheck. I hate my job, and honestly, I hate myself for being such a coward. Now I don't even have the time to take a class, and I definitely don't have the expertise required for AT&T 🤷
I want to switch careers, but I'm terrified it's too late and that I've already blown my shot at life. Sometimes I think about just running away... but then I think about being broke... and about my kids, who'll end up being teased by their classmates for having a "starving artist" dad.
I was always the star student, and my parents are so proud of their future PhD, but underneath it all, I'm just filled with self-loathing. I know deep down that as a scientist, I'm a total zero and just lazy. I read research papers without understanding them and without any passion. I loathe it. I hate the lab. Even the people there—the ones who are actually upbeat and hardworking—aren't bad people. But I despise them; I subconsciously resent them for my own failures. It drives me crazy seeing them do better than me.
I want to work, and I have the energy and the drive, just not for pipettes and microscopes. Not for writing abstracts or running statistical tests.
Please—give me some advice, because if I keep going like this, this frustration is going to permanently kill my spirit and my will to live.
That creep in No Way Out—the guy playing second fiddle to Gen. Hackman after he kills Kostner's girl. Ed Harris played him, and man, he managed to pull off one of the most disgusting characters ever put on screen. The whole movie, you just get the feeling he’d 🙂
Jessica Jones4 said:Can someone tell me which song is playing in this video?
The song "Streets are inviting us" is actually a cover of a Red Apple track called "Zovu nas ulice"—written by Zlatko Arslanagić. From what I can gather, the band Chubak is credited—pretty sure it's the same crew behind the festival... though this version sounds more like something the Sex Pistols would play. 😬
The lyrics go: Sex Pistols lyrics we are going out-out-outside High hills are jing-jing-jingling 😬 Excitement is what every just every girl needs!