Keith Wilson81 said:because Americans would rather hit up Mexican clubs. My cousin said it’s the same deal in Canada and Australia... but I’m not trying to start a debate about what music you should listen to or whatever, I just mean this whole "let's tear ourselves apart" vibe is huge in the diaspora.
This was last year. Summertime. My old lady is drilling my ears off telling me there's some big fundraiser at the local community center. Heard it on the radio. That one station that broadcasts at eight every Sunday morning. Usually, I only head to the community center to watch games, mostly after I shell out twenty bucks just to get through the door. Prices are insane. We usually grab a sandwich at halftime, and if there's anything left over from the high rollers who actually showed up, we dive in for seconds. Anyway, me and my brother decided to hit up this fundraiser. It was basically a local club raising cash for the new soccer season. And hey, Koons got himself cleaned up—my mom insisted I find a date to bring along for her. So, I actually put in the work. Grabbed a brush and scrubbed my feet for an hour to get rid of all the grime from the last two years. Used some wire to scrape the gunk off my teeth, too. Even though it was summer, Koons threw on a leather jacket and went heavy on the hair gel. Wanted to look like 🙂. I was dead certain I was finally going somewhere to hear some actual good tunes, like that 70s, 80s, and 90s rock stuff. I even bet my brother a medium pizza with three toppings of our choice that they’d definitely be playing Guzonjin sin and Grand Canyon type stuff. I was positive. We pull up. Get out of the car. Suddenly, this screaming starts coming from the car next to us. Hits me like a grenade. I thought, "Whatever, it's nothing." Like, come on, Koons, stay positive, don't let the pessimism win. Probably just some guy stopping by to pick something up and making a scene. At the entrance, they hit me for ten bucks for entry 😲 . Fine. Whatever. People screw me over in other ways, so why not you guys? It’s not your first time. Besides, I’ve screwed them over 😎 a few times too. Once, I just walked in and didn't pay for the game. Another time, same thing. We were playing against San Marino. I sat right by the door thinking about whether I'd pay or not. The view sucked, so nobody even noticed Koons hovering near the exit. Eventually, I just blended in with the crowd and skipped the fee. I even wolfed down a sandwich at halftime 👍. And downed a beer.
So I head inside. Go straight to the concession stand to grab those red coupons for beer. I scored a beer. The place was packed. Then suddenly—juice! Some local band started blasting that folk music. 😲 😲 😲 . I figured, "Nah, they'll stop soon," just letting people warm up. But nope. They kept going. I started feeling the heat from the fans. Started sweating from the stress and the damn humidity. Told my brother I was gonna go drop off my jacket and be right back. The crowd started dancing in circles. I already finished my second beer, but they were still cranking that folk crap. I started thinking maybe this wasn't even a Mexican community center, maybe they bought it for cheap over the weekend because the old owner paid a fortune for satellite access and now they can't afford it, so they have to sell it to cover debts. Or maybe they just rented it for the night. 😕These country music fanatics are dancing like they're stuck in the middle of the Appalachians. Give me a break.
The only saving grace was that the loudmouth who caused a scene in that one cafe didn't show up. It used to be a decent little dive. Used to play good music, and I actually hung out there a few times before. It wasn't huge, but the vibe was chill since there weren't many guys around. Then this screeching woman rolls in and suddenly the place is so packed you can't even breathe. People say they were practically jumping on the tables. I went there twice. Never again. That woman doesn't just sing; she literally assaults your sanity.
Since my brother went to high school around here, he’s there arguing with some girl he’s known for ages. She’s constantly thrashing around to some Mongolian highland beat. Most people there were doing the same. Meanwhile, Koons was sitting there stiff as a board, like someone sat on his broom, and she kept getting in his face until he couldn't move.
Man, let's get out of here! He agreed, and we cleared out immediately. I didn't stay even an hour. Total nightmare! That was the worst ten bucks I ever spent. Took me forever to get over it. On the way home, I ask my brother who that chick was he was talking to. He says he was shocked to see her because he knew her from back in the day as some hardcore nationalist crazy lady. Thanks for nothing. Never again, man! 🙂