Posts by Samuel Davis16

bluemaker52 said:But honestly, how many cookies do you actually end up with after all that?

🤣🤣🤣
I'm sure they're counting, omg☕

David Nelson74 said:Well, go ahead and have your blowout fight then. Sometimes a massive blowout is actually the only way to spark a constructive conversation. 😁 .You're being such a stubborn nut about this; try loosening up a bit. He's probably got at least a grain of truth to him, it's just that you haven't been able to prove him wrong yet. 🤣😁🙂

He just repeats everything I already know and acts like he's proving it, as if I don't realize it myself😁

But that doesn't cut it for me. Don't state the obvious. Give me something actual from those books you're always reading that I haven't heard before😁

Put some real arguments and explanations out in the open😁

He's miserable, honestly, but I can cheer him up when I show up😁

What else am I supposed to do? I'm stuck in this mess😳

David Nelson74 said:You might as well talk about what you're discussing with your therapist instead.😁 🙂

Nah, pass. I know it’d be entertaining, but I’m good.😁

All I'll say is we'd just end up in a massive shouting match, since I can never actually win an argument against what he's saying.😳😁

Nobody got back to me..

Whatever. I’m not looking for another diagnosis. I'm handling things just fine on my own; I was just curious if this counts as a specific symptom of a disorder.

As long as I can hold it together and function normally, I'm not going to bring this up with some therapist in 🙂
.
Later.

Yeah, honestly, it works for me because I’m a bit of a neat freak. There are just those specific days where I'm completely wiped out and have zero motivation, but I can't even close my eyes to sleep unless everything is perfectly in its place.

Just how I'm wired.

I self-diagnosed this a long time ago. I’m obsessively tidy—dust, crumbs, clutter, spills... everything drives me crazy.
Even when I'm exhausted or I feel like I just vacuumed ten minutes ago, if I see one stray crumb, I'm getting the vacuum back out. I can't leave a single glass sitting on the counter; it goes straight into the dishwasher immediately. It sounds ridiculous. My house looks more like a sterile pharmacy than a home. Everything has a specific spot. If I set the remote next to my phone and someone moves it, I’ll get up just to put it back exactly where it was. I’ve started taking Lexapro for other reasons lately, and honestly, I’ve loosened up a bit. Things don't bother me as much when they aren't perfectly aligned. Is that what it means?

Hey,

Posting here again because I’m not sure if this even belongs in the psychology section... who knows.
My therapist sent me to see a cardiologist for an EKG. They want a medical opinion before they decide on my antidepressant prescription.
What’s the connection there? And if they end up putting me on beta-blockers, does that mean I won't get the antidepressant?
Anyone actually know how this works?

Jeffrey Stewart4 said:Well, I’m back again... There was nothing from the drug test. I realize how harsh my demands were, but honestly, I just couldn't ignore my gut feeling.🤷
So, here is the situation: when I first suggested he take a test, he flew into a rage. He acted as if I didn't trust him, claiming he couldn't deal with me and that everyone—including me—looks at him like he's some kind of addict. And truth be told, he isn't wrong. I feel like I’ve betrayed his trust, but... there is a "but" coming...
It turns out he went out one weekend to some party and was actually looking to pick up some speed or cocaine.
A very close friend of his let me know; it wasn't out of malice, but rather an attempt to help pull him away from that kind of environment.
I have to admit, hearing that absolutely crushed me. It broke me completely. Yet, despite the heartache, I told him I would stand by him no matter what.
He eventually admitted that it was true, and after a long, heavy conversation, he asked me to be his support system. He opened up about how, in the beginning, he was thinking about drugs 24/7, and while it's less frequent now, not a single day goes by without those thoughts crossing his mind. He said he just needs someone in his corner.
I can't shake the feeling that he might not be quite as invested in "us" as he is in needing someone to help him navigate life, and right now, I am the one standing there.🤷
Everything seemed fine until last weekend when he went to visit a friend in San Francisco. He checked in during the first couple of days, but then, nothing. Total radio silence.
I called him, I sent messages... and there was absolutely no sign of him until yesterday. Then, I get this text: "Please understand, it's just easier this way. I'll call you when I'm ready."
And that's it! How am I supposed to "understand"? How or why is it easier for him, and what does he mean by being "ready"???
I mean, I have a thousand questions racing through my mind, and he won't even give me the courtesy of a response!!
Now I'm stuck in this limbo: should I leave him alone until he decides to reach out, or should I try calling him again?
I am genuinely, deeply worried about him.

Haha, let’s be real. Most people aren't going to step down—not because they can't, but because they’re loving the view from the top way too much.
And once they take the bait, there’s no turning back. They're stuck.
Look, regardless of where we are in this process, it’s a mess. It just isn't working.
I feel for you regarding that grim forecast, but honestly? That’s just how it is.
Look, here’s the explanation. I’ll give you a call when I'm ready. Just wanted you to see how Danica's imagination works—and how she's got a knack for leaving doors wide open...
I get it. Love, falling hard—you can't exactly fight your own heart. I just want to say one thing: what you have with him is something special. It's rare.
Good luck.

Linda Vaughn2 said:So, does your "experience" really grant you the authority to dismiss millions of people who have actually conquered their addiction and are now living clean, healthy, and happy lives?

Seems a little rigid to me...

You're missing the point.
It doesn't matter if you call it an illness; what matters is that it keeps coming back.
And yeah, this is one of those things nobody ever trulybeats
.
You manage it as long as you're breathing. In principle, the only real way to handle it is to never slip up again.
Nobody's looking down on anyone here. This is just the reality of the situation.
It is what it is. No need to get insulted by facts.

Christian Sanchez4 said:All in all, this is a pretty bad post.🙂

I'm with you.

Jeffrey Stewart4 said:Yesterday, I finally laid all my cards on the table and voiced every single doubt and fear I’ve been harboring about him. He claimed he understood where I was coming from, but the moment I suggested we get tested, he absolutely lost it😢...he acted as if I were personally insulting his character by questioning his integrity. So, here I am, feeling utterly defeated and small. It feels ugly—maybe even pathetic—to have even brought up the idea of testing, but I need clarity for my own peace of mind, and he's digging his heels in and refusing. Am I really such a desperate, broken person? How can I find any footing when I can't even trust my own instincts
I honestly don't know how we move forward from here.🤷

He can't honestly expect you to just take his word for it.

First off, you don't know his soul
Second, he's an ex-addict.

That should be enough for you, shouldn't it?

brightridge59 said:While you certainly can't pick who captures your heart, you absolutely have the agency to decide who you'll stay in a relationship with.

That's why they say love is blind. You don't see the addict, you don't see the gambler, you don't see the abuser... you just don't see any of it.

And that's really the crux of the matter, isn't it? ;-)

In my view, that isn't true love; it’s more like being infatuated or simply blinded by emotion. You see everything clearly enough, but you choose to look the other way. By the time real love sets in, it's often far too late to fix the damage. 🤷

Just to be clear, I'm not talking about someone casually wondering if they should date a certain person as a joke.
I'm talking about someone facing an incredibly heavy burden, and she is making the conscious decision to take that weight onto her own shoulders.

Yeah, we're saying the same thing, just using different words.
The thing is, she is in love, which is why making a choice is such a nightmare.
Sure, you can choose who you end up with, but it's damn hard when your heart is pulling you one way...

Eric White10 said:If being honest is just going to wound them and cause unnecessary heartache, then maybe you shouldn't say anything at all.

That's the kind of thing you hear therapists suggest all the time.

Who cares what some therapist says? If you're certain they'll never find out, keep it to yourself.
Ignorance is bliss.

But watch yourself. Everything comes to light eventually.

It blows my mind how people act like you get a choice in who you fall for.
If we actually had a say, half these debates wouldn't even exist.

I’d love to say I hadn't fallen for the person I did, but here we are.

That’s why they call love blind. You don't see the addict, the gambler, or the jerk... you just don't see any of it.

That’s the whole point. ;-)

brightridge59 said:He just isn't quite ready to jump back into the mix because he’s become so completely disconnected from everyone around him.
That’s precisely why I believe we should prioritize the local community and our surrounding neighborhood.

He pulled the lever, and honestly, people started telling me that their pupils looked incredibly small. It got me thinking, so now I find myself constantly researching the whole thing, but from what I can see, his pupils are either tiny or absolutely massive.😕

It’s a bit of a pattern I’ve noticed; when they're using heroin, it tends to be more about those smaller, subtle doses, whereas things really escalate and become much more intense during the withdrawal phases.
If they’re absolutely tiny—I mean, looking like little specks even when you're standing in total darkness—then there isn't even a question about it; he definitely went ahead and took them.

I picked up a test at the local CVS today, and I actually had this sudden, fleeting thought about handing it over to her just to let her run the diagnostic herself. I found myself wondering for a moment—would that come across as rude or perhaps a bit patronizing? Part of me feels like it might be the only way to truly put her mind at ease, as seeing the results firsthand might be the only thing that could really settle her nerves.
It feels a bit surreal, doesn't it? I honestly can't believe I’m sharing the intimate details of my life with complete strangers on the internet, especially when I find myself unable to open up to my absolute best friend about these things. Ali, there is just something about this space that makes it feel easier to let it all out.

I don't think it’s rude at all; honestly, you have every right to ask. If he turns you down, then it’s a pretty clear sign that he's trying to hide something.

Take a moment to really sit with that thought and ask yourself: is this truly the kind of life you want to lead—one defined by constant doubt and a lingering sense of fear? 😢

Yeah, honestly, that last part is what matters most.

redharbor9 said:How much would this actually matter to you guys... if you were looking at it from the client or patient side?

Look, if it works, I don't give a damn. Whether they're Muslim, gay, trans, schizophrenic, or whatever else—who cares?
So, it doesn't matter to me.😉

Dennis Doyle3 said:There are no guarantees. I just wanted to point out that this is a lifelong battle. That’s exactly why there are so many relapses—most people simply don't have the grit to keep going.

Yeah, everyone knows a dopamine hit turns a person into a hedonist.
It feels too good to quit, and even when the spark fades, you want to stop but you can't because you're hooked.
If you quit, you aren't just stopping an action; you're still fighting the urge.
The battle isn't against the addiction itself, it's against the desire.
We're wired to seek out pleasure.
Anyway, OP, you know better than anyone—if he's truly an ex, you'll realize it pretty damn fast...
Fingers crossed it stays that way.

Jeffrey Stewart4 said:That’s exactly what keeps me up at night—the fear that he'll relapse. But honestly, what am I supposed to do? I feel like I'm completely paralyzed by everything happening right now😢. I'm 28 years old—and look, I'm not some naive kid; I have a college degree and a career behind me.
It’s heartbreaking because I see this reality all too often at my job; I've seen plenty of users, and I even saw one colleague pass away, which was just devastating... And now, here I am, having fallen for someone just like them. It’s a heavy situation, and I think I might care a little too much.

Asking "what if" is a dead end. What if I get hit by a car walking out my front door? (Please, don't lecture me on probabilities, I'm just trying to help this girl out)
Having a degree doesn't make you smart if you're choosing to stay with someone like this. Intelligence doesn't matter here.
Love is the same whether you're dealing with a schizophrenic or anyone else; everyone's brain functions the same way when they're hooked, regardless of their education, status, or age.
Look, stay with him if that's what your heart demands, but the second he hurts you, get out.
BUT THAT GOES FOR ANYONE, NOT JUST ADDICTS.

Dennis Doyle3 said:Spot on. For the rest of their lives, they'll carry that feeling in their heads—that one specific high that nothing else in this world can even come close to touching.

I’m an optimist, though. I actually know someone fighting this by just swapping one addiction for another.
And honestly? That’s the only way it works.
Look, I'd rather someone be a fanatic about, say, their faith or a local church than be hooked on meth.
It’s not the same rush, sure.
The point is, you have to realize it’s a level of pleasure that defies comparison.
But if a person actually WANTS something—if they have a PURPOSE or a PERSON—they might pull it off.
Only if they want it for themselves, though.
Unfortunately, there are no guarantees.

One more thing,
When I fall for someone, I don't care who they are—heart doesn't pick favorites.
But deep down, you always know it won't last if you're the only one putting in the work.
If he actually shows up and gives you enough of himself, then it works.
For as long as it lasts. And nobody can tell you, "Oh, he'll definitely start acting up again." Maybe he will. But if you go in with that mindset, you just cut the cord early.
What can I say? Good luck.