It honestly weighed on me that my little girl didn't make her first choice. It’s just one of those things that sits heavy on your chest, you know? But hey, she’ll definitely land her second pick. If we look at the silver lining, I actually think that school would be a perfect fit for her personality. Plus, it's much closer than that other place she put down as her top priority 😁.
rustyowl7 said:I haven't even mentioned medical school to her, let alone HBO, which I suggested and she would have gladly bypassed ☕ but no, what do I know? 🤦
I’d love to tell you I couldn't care less and that she'll just end up enrolling somewhere, but that's not how this works. Honestly, she’d have a better shot at getting into some random high school than actually landing a spot at her first choice—and she isn't even aiming for a traditional prep school. She did stumble upon a second option recently, which, if you ask me, might actually be a perfect fit since she's got a knack for languages, but let's be real: it's just a Plan B. There is no third or fourth option on the table 😁, so we're going to have to get creative to make something happen.
I’ve been eyeing the pharmacy technician program at a local medical school. But looking at the numbers, it’s a bit grim. The cutoff was 73 points, sure, but the last person who actually snagged a spot last year had 76.57. The year before that? 77.72. With my track record—mostly Bs in math during middle school and just two Bs in eighth grade—I don't exactly look like a scholar. And I don't have any extra credit to lean on. It honestly makes me feel for her. When I think back to my own high school days, I was sitting there with a C in math one year and an average that hovered right around a 3.0, yet I still managed to squeeze into a prep school. Looking back, I really feel for her struggle.
Mine follows that same predictable pattern—it’s become a total tradition at this point because I saw it happen back in 6th and 7th grade too. They go the entire year doing absolutely nothing, and then suddenly, motivation just evaporates, their brains decide to take a permanent vacation, and right at the end of the term? Boom. This year, she didn't even get to sit for her Hertz exam this week, and yet, here we are... straight A's and an award. 🤦😁
Susan James said:But what if it's just not popular? It honestly makes me a bit sad when people give up and just take the path of least resistance with kids, especially since teachers know exactly why these lessons matter. Learning how to write an essay is crucial for so many other things in life.
I don't see anything wrong with binge-reading a whole book at once (I was actually like that my entire life—in fact, I find reading chapter by chapter way more tedious!), the bigger issue is how the material is actually taught (or if it's even taught at all).
The issue with binge-reading is that it isn't designed for a lower elementary student who is still struggling to decode basic words. There is a massive difference between breezing through a picture book and a short novel in a single afternoon.
Maybe I overshot the mark with my use of the word "popular." The road to producing a high-quality essay is long and winding; it starts with reading, building a vocabulary, and developing actual comprehension. Let's be real here: students are reading less than ever, their vocabularies are shrinking, and their spoken language is sparse and riddled with grammatical errors. All of this requires practice. Yet, the moment you mention reading, summarizing, or reciting poetry, parents and students act like you're asking them to climb Everest, and the quality of the effort is usually abysmal. A teacher can't sit down one-on-one with every single child to drill a poem into their head. They can encourage reading, sure, but it ultimately depends on how much the kid actually puts in. They can practice summarizing, too, but that’s going to be an uphill battle if their vocabulary is nonexistent. Bottom line: a child has to put in the sweat equity to build the foundation for all of this. Yes, they need to study at home. But that’s "unpopular" these days, isn't it?
Susan James said:So what exactly are they doing in the after-school program then? 😕
They can definitely read their assigned books during the program, why not? 🤷 Once a child finishes their homework, they can just grab a book and read. 🤷
We should try to get as much done at school as possible. That way, when they get home, they can just play... or go out for soccer. Or just read whatever they actually enjoy.
If I were teaching the younger grades, I'd spend way more time focusing on reading, reading comprehension, retelling stories, and writing essays based on the books, rather than making picture books, drawing characters, or filming little movies about books they might not have even finished reading... 🤷
Believe it or not, these flashy projects aren't even popular with the kids or the parents; most people just slog through them half-heartedly to get them over with. I’m all for reading assigned books during after-school hours once the work is done. It’s something I only really saw happen this year—my kid brought a book and actually sat there reading while everyone else was still grinding away. Usually, they end up reading at home, even though I try to encourage them to leave the book in their backpack (so they have it every day) or just leave it at school (where I can tuck it away so they can read it daily). And let me tell you, most students wait until the absolute last minute to finish the reading right before it's discussed in class—usually the final week of the month. I’ve had kids tell me the day before we cover a book that they STILL have 11 chapters left to go. Writing an essay, testing comprehension, coming up with an alternative ending... it's a nightmare. It requires actual mental effort, building vocabulary, and memory. Drawing is easy. Making a cover or a little booklet without having to actually present it orally is just half-baked work.
mellowskipper said:So, I found a lighter in my daughter's things yesterday—it just sort of spilled out when I was looking through her stuff. It didn't even smell like cigarettes, which is a relief, I suppose. She just looked at me like I was being dramatic and said that everyone has lighters and it’s totally normal. I mean, seriously? Why on earth would a seven-year-old be carrying around a lighter? That whole phase where kids are obsessed with playing with matches or fire seems to have passed for her long ago, so I'm honestly just stumped...
I'd be just as shocked as you if I stumbled upon a lighter in my kid's bag. Honestly, I find it hard to buy the idea that every single teenager is walking around with a lighter tucked away as part of their daily kit 😁.
I’m not exactly losing sleep over her picking up a habit. We don't smoke in our house, and while I know peer pressure is a massive force at this age, smoking just doesn't fit her personality. At this stage, she's actually quite aware of how bad it is for your health—she’s almost overly cautious about her own well-being—so smoking isn't even on my radar right now. My real concerns lie elsewhere. Between the fallout from the pandemic and those intense tremors we dealt with over the last two years, some anxieties have bubbled up to the surface. That's what we really need to tackle.
My daughter, who’s tackling computer science this year, hasn't even cracked open a textbook yet. Honestly, I can't tell if that's a sign of genius or just pure laziness 🤣. I noticed they've started migrating everything over to Microsoft Office 365. There was absolutely zero mention of input and output devices in the curriculum, at least from what little she tells me. They’ve got digital textbooks and workbooks now; apparently, they’re expected to use Office for all their note-taking. I have no idea how that’s supposed to actually work in practice. She isn't exactly tech-savvy, and her organizational skills leave much to be desired. I use Office myself, but I wouldn't dream of relying on it for everything—I have no clue what they're actually doing during those class hours. We'll just have to wait and see how this whole experiment plays out.
redridge13 said:Well, back at my kid's school, during Thanksgiving, they didn't ask for permission or even give parents a heads-up; they just marched every single student out to the foyer to pray and sing hymns and all that junk. My kid isn't even religious, and when I asked her what she was doing while everyone else was praying, she just said, "I was just standing there." Yeah, sure, nobody was pointing a gun at her head to make her join in, but let's be real—she didn't have any other choice. The whole "performance" wasn't even held during a religion class; they did it right in the middle of the school day, forcing EVERY student to sit there and watch those religious types put on their little display.
It varies wildly from one school to the next. In my district, they actually respect boundaries. If a kid isn't enrolled in religion classes, they ask the parents—or the older students—if they want to attend the assembly in the auditorium. If not, they can hang out in the library with the librarian or a teacher. But you don't get hit with a blanket consent form for Thanksgiving festivities or Christmas plays without a choice.
Peter Harris80 said:My ex insists that this particular school requires signatures from both parents for elective subjects. I have no idea where he's getting that from. It would be pointless to poll the parents at preschool, especially since everyone there is married and likely wouldn't have this issue anyway.
They say all classes are handled by one teacher, except for the first period, which is when the main teacher is free to skip. Apparently, for first graders, they don't schedule religion or foreign language during the first hour so everyone starts the day with the primary teacher. I don't know if that's a standing school rule or just a yearly thing. If it is a rule, we won't have a scheduling conflict in first grade, but we definitely will in the later years. Kids can't perform in shows without consent, and I have zero interest in having my child sidelined from the group. I can't wrap my head around the idea of a kid sitting alone in the library while the rest of the class is performing. I don't see how anyone finds that acceptable.
We are discussing the possibilities, but we can't reach an agreement.
Regarding the bolded part: If I were you, I would ask the school directly during enrollment. In fact, I might even call them before the official registration period just to get the facts straight instead of relying on hearsay. This is something that could cause you massive organizational headaches, so it's worth investigating.
The school is legally obligated to supervise a child enrolled in the after-school program from 7 AM to 5 PM. Is the kid going to the after-school program? If the teacher doesn't show up until later because there's no first period, it doesn't matter as long as the child is being supervised elsewhere. That's something I'd bring up with the administration. Personally, I also wouldn't be okay with my child being separated from the class, but if I had to insist they skip religion class, I'd settle for any option where the child is under supervision (and not wandering the halls aimlessly).
Peter Harris80 said:Basically, you're right. I don't want her to stand out, and I don't want to cause a scene during enrollment. Not to mention the logistical headache of dropping her off when religion class is first thing in the morning, since there’s no organized childcare at that hour. I’m not a devout practitioner, but faith is part of my life. My daughter knows the basic prayers, she’s been baptized, and I’d like her to receive the other sacraments. We’ve been to church a few times, but she’s too young to sit through a full Mass, so we don't go often. She’s heard of the concepts mentioned; we read Bible picture books together. She won't be deprived of the basics, but I truly would prefer she attends. Her father is dead set against signing the consent form because, in his view, agreeing means he’s endorsing having religious instruction in public schools, which he thinks doesn't belong there. I get where he's coming from, though I don't think it's right to let his political stance dictate our child's experience. He isn't fundamentally against religious upbringing, but he opposes the way the Church interacts with the state and religious classes in schools. For him, putting his name on that form would be inconsistent with his principles. He insists that the school I chose requires both parents to sign if they are divorced, and he’s sticking to his guns.
I haven't asked the child anything yet. I thought it was smarter for us to reach a consensus first. Sometimes I think about just giving in to his stubbornness, but then there are still permissions needed for things like holiday programs or community events, and he won't sign those either because he refuses to support the chaplaincy. That's a bigger headache, because that's exactly when you end up standing out if the kid isn't participating. I want to avoid going through family mediation.
Thanks for the input.
We actually sat down and had a serious talk before our kid even started kindergarten (we were married then) regarding the whole religious education aspect. To be honest, neither my husband nor I particularly cared whether the child attended or not; we aren't the type to practice religion strictly. However, we looked at it practically. Our child was always shy, very withdrawn. We didn't want them being pulled out of the classroom twice a week while all the other kids stayed put. It seemed like a recipe for social isolation. Well, we're heading into the fourth year now, and I'm starting to think we need to pull the plug. Some of the stuff they're teaching is hitting way too hard, and it's weighing heavily on a kid who is already struggling to find their footing.
Peter Harris80 said:Basically, you're right. I don't want her to stand out, and I don't want to cause a scene during enrollment. Not to mention the logistical headache of dropping her off when religion class is first thing in the morning, since there’s no organized childcare at that hour. I’m not a devout practitioner, but faith is part of my life. My daughter knows the basic prayers, she’s been baptized, and I’d like her to receive the other sacraments. We’ve been to church a few times, but she’s too young to sit through a full Mass, so we don't go often. She’s heard of the concepts mentioned; we read Bible picture books together. She won't be deprived of the basics, but I truly would prefer she attends. Her father is dead set against signing the consent form because, in his view, agreeing means he’s endorsing having religious instruction in public schools, which he thinks doesn't belong there. I get where he's coming from, though I don't think it's right to let his political stance dictate our child's experience. He isn't fundamentally against religious upbringing, but he opposes the way the Church interacts with the state and religious classes in schools. For him, putting his name on that form would be inconsistent with his principles. He insists that the school I chose requires both parents to sign if they are divorced, and he’s sticking to his guns.
I haven't asked the child anything yet. I thought it was smarter for us to reach a consensus first. Sometimes I think about just giving in to his stubbornness, but then there are still permissions needed for things like holiday programs or community events, and he won't sign those either because he refuses to support the chaplaincy. That's a bigger headache, because that's exactly when you end up standing out if the kid isn't participating. I want to avoid going through family mediation.
Thanks for the input.
I don't follow. Is the school actually demanding signatures from both parents for the religious studies consent? If they are, then sit down with your husband. Explain why it matters to you and point out the practical side—how it creates a scheduling issue if she doesn't participate. (Though, honestly, the school should probably provide supervision for kids who aren't in that specific class but are already on campus for after-school programs, but you'd have to check their specific policy.)
Look, if you're divorced, I get that opinions clash. But if you can't even sit down and talk through the options, I just don't understand. As for the Christmas pageant or day bread celebrations—at least at my local school—they don't demand signed permission for every single thing. No kid is forced to participate in religious activities just because they are enrolled in the class. They can just hang out in the library. And the Christmas show is usually an evening thing anyway; it's not like attendance is mandatory.
No, the prevailing theory on these parenting forums is that you should let a kid own their schoolwork. You stay in the loop, sure—you keep an eye on the situation from the sidelines—but you aren't micromanaging every second. It’s about loosening the reins. You work toward letting them take the driver's seat when it comes to their responsibilities: textbooks, exams, studying, reading assignments. Of course, every kid is wired differently. Not everyone is ready for that freedom at the same pace. Some children need hands-on supervision and strict control for much longer than others. Some are model students from the moment they step into a kindergarten classroom, while others—like mine—will realize they forgot their teddy bear in fourth grade, but somehow manage to remember everything except their geometry set.
And look, if they end up copying a classmate's homework a few times because they left their notebook sitting on the kitchen counter, they’ll eventually start packing their bag more carefully. At least for a little while. 😁
My kid isn't exactly a "product of the internet" because I still have to hover over them for basically everything. But honestly? I’ve accepted this is just who they are. It’s like having a child who would leave their own brain sitting on the kitchen counter but somehow manages to pack every single toy they own into their backpack for school. A bit immature, sure. Maybe they'll grow out of it. Who knows.
As for the summer reading list, just break the page count down into daily goals. Give yourselves a few buffer days at the end to actually write the report. Usually, these things get knocked out well before the deadline hits anyway.
rowdypanther12 said:You’ve got to pick your battles when it comes to kids, whether they're two or twelve. Doesn't it get exhausting trying to whip up a whole different dinner just because someone isn't a fan of 🤷 ? I usually just cook what everyone eats, and if I want something specific that one family member doesn't touch, I'll just make a quick side or substitute they actually like. It's not like we're in boot camp or anything.
That’s exactly what I was getting at. I’m not going to go to war with her over a glass of milk, a pair of pants, or whatever else ends up on the plate. We find a middle ground when we can't give them exactly what they want.
In our house, we draw the line at things like health and school. That's where we hold our ground. Everything else? We bend. We compromise. A kid needs to develop their own sense of self and have the freedom to make choices—within reason, obviously.
rowdypanther12 said:frozenrider15, where do you think I could find a sundress with straps? Honestly, there are so many options out there, and I'm feeling a little lost myself
I haven't stepped foot in H&M in ages. Ever since my little one outgrew their kids' section—because let's face it, the young adult department is a minefield if you actually want 100% cotton—it hasn't been my go-to. But hey, maybe worth a quick glance. Thanks!
And those ankle socks? We'll give them a shot. Regardless of how it plays out, I'm bracing both myself and her for the heat of the kitchen. Fingers crossed we pull through. 😁
hiddenjackal17 said:Maybe some capri leggings? Or a tunic with thin straps?
Right, Capri leggings actually crossed my mind. Pair them with white shoes—no socks, obviously, because once she gets a tan, it’ll look sharp. I'll hunt for some thin ones. As for a tunic... if I can find anything decent. Honestly, though? I'm still leaning toward just a simple white undershirt. Is that even an option?