Posts by lonegardener

slywolf45 said:Of course there aren't any rules.
There’s a school of thought that suggests you don't fall for a gender, but rather for the individual itself. I suspect you might lean toward that philosophy.
Personally, I also find myself falling for the person, though in my case, that person always happens to be a woman.🤣

I disagree. There are absolutely rules. It's just that most of them—if not all of them—are silently understood.

slywolf45 said:🤣
You missed my point entirely.
Whatever, it doesn't matter.🙂

I did. I just decided to look the other way. 😬

hiddenhound3 said:I certainly grasp the concept of loving someone for their inner beauty (or even their outward appearance 😁), yet we cannot ignore the reality that one group of people gravitates exclusively toward the same sex, while another seeks partners of the opposite sex. It would be naive to pretend that gender doesn't play a fundamental role in this entire dynamic. This leads me to wonder: if you identify as a lesbian, could you realistically function sexually with a man? 😕
The reason I ask is that I find the distinction somewhat confusing. Having experienced both, I find that I much prefer sex with men, and it would genuinely hurt my pride if a man were to reject me simply because I chose him based on sexual preference rather than anything else. 😢

😍 This version is a bit softer, but I still don't agree. Earlier, you basically boiled "sex" down to just "a dick." LOL. If that's really all you need from a man... then I'm surprised it could "hurt your feelings" when someone doesn't find that particularly impressive.🤣

Look, like I said, this take is a little milder, but I'm still not a fan. Regardless, there's no rule saying I have to agree. And you don't have to like my perspective either. 🤷

slywolf45 Asks:
You hit the nail on the head. But I’m guessing you could count your own circle of Islamic fundamentalist friends on one hand, too.🤣

Honestly, I don't even need to use my fingers to count them. 😂

slywolf45 said:You hit the nail on the head. Though, I suspect you could count your own circle of Islamic fundamentalist friends on one hand.🤣
Alright, let's be honest here.🙂
Yes, my close friends tend to be, shall we say, a bit more liberal than the general population. I suppose that's fair.
But, as I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I’ve actually had people—people I’m not even particularly close to, let alone those I'd expect to hold such views—make those kinds of admissions to me. It wasn't just an impression; it was explicit.

That’s just how you come across. It’s about perception. My perception, at least, and I suspect it's shared by many others. If you aren't aware of that, it might just mean you haven't quite mastered the art of looking at yourself from an outside perspective.

Fair enough.🤣

You’re right. There's actually a really interesting psychological phenomenon at play here. It’s like how my brother tells me, "Every single time I ask you to do something, you find a way to mess it up." But why does he say that? Because his focus is entirely centered on those rare... 😬It seems like people only notice when I actually screw things up. When I get it right? They just take it for granted and don't even blink. Think about it...

slywolf45 said:Exactly.
It’s not like I’m into women just because of what's between their legs, and a woman isn't straight simply because of a man's equipment.
There are plenty of variables at play here, but the decisive factor is really the psychological makeup of both parties.🙂

Mindset? Good grief.

So, you were basically just lacking faith and hope... well, damn. 🤷 Honestly, I get where you're coming from, LOL, if we use some totally wild analogies...

hollowtinker18 said:Yeah.
There could be a million reasons. (I mean, most of the time it's just because they're totally done with men for valid reasons, so seeing two women together feels more natural than watching two guys act like idiots.)

🤣 But seriously, it’s not even that hard to wrap your head around... it even happens to me sometimes, LOL.

hiddenhound3 said:It would probably be best if you didn't respond at all. 🤷

Look, I try to be polite. If you ask me to ignore your posts, I'll follow suit immediately. 😍 You just have to be clear and direct with me; I'm not great at reading between the lines.

slywolf45 said:All I'm saying is that, looking back, the numbers ended up being much higher than I originally anticipated.
And what constitutes "high"? Well, I suppose everyone has their own internal metric for that.

Your perception is skewed simply because you're right in the thick of it.
In other words, your conclusions are based on a statistically non-representative sample.

Could you clarify what you mean by that?
Are you suggesting my social circle consists exclusively of gay people, making my sample size biased?
Because if that's the implication, you've got it completely wrong. I actually have more straight friends than gay ones, and I rarely ever set foot in gay clubs or similar venues.

It bothers me a little bit, though—that slight (😍) sense that she views herself as part of some sort of "elite" because of it.

Okay, this is the first time I've heard anyone put it that way.🤣
An elite? That seems like a massive stretch. Honestly, I find it hard to buy into that.

That’s not what I meant. People aren't defined solely by their orientation. There are plenty of other factors at play. For instance, I'd bet you have more liberal-minded friends than you do folks who are religious fundamentalists. Am I close? 🤣

slywolf45 said:All I'm saying is that, looking back, the numbers ended up being much higher than I originally anticipated.
And what constitutes "high"? Well, I suppose everyone has their own internal metric for that.

Your perception is skewed simply because you're right in the thick of it.
In other words, your conclusions are based on a statistically non-representative sample.

Could you clarify what you mean by that?
Are you suggesting my social circle consists exclusively of gay people, making my sample size biased?
Because if that's the implication, you've got it completely wrong. I actually have more straight friends than gay ones, and I rarely ever set foot in gay clubs or similar venues.

It bothers me a little bit, though—that slight (😍) sense that she views herself as part of some sort of "elite" because of it.

Okay, this is the first time I've heard anyone put it that way.🤣
An elite? That seems like a massive stretch. Honestly, I find it hard to buy into that.

That's just how you come across. It's all about perception—my perception, and honestly, probably a lot of others too. If you don't see it, it might just mean you haven't learned how to look at yourself from an outside perspective yet.

hiddenhound3 said:Why does any of this matter? 😕 Since you possess that particular "irreplaceable" asset, you are just as essential, if not more so, than anyone else. Do not allow your ego to rob you of pleasure over such trivialities. It is quite evident that the woman in question has simply realized she is heterosexual and has no desire to date women. This has absolutely nothing to do with your character or who you are as a person.

Look, I don't even know where to start with this response because you completely missed the point. How am I "irreplaceable" just because I have a dick? Seriously, there are another 3 billion guys out there with them. So, any one of those 3 billion could take my place if we're talking strictly about the anatomy. Right? 🤣

In this specific instance, please spare me the clumsy jokes about ego being some barrier to pleasure. I’m never going to "get rid of" my ego here. Nor do I think it's "necessary." Maybe you should ditch that pointless philosophy of yours—LOL. What good was yesterday's pleasure anyway? Why not go out and enjoy yourself right now instead of wasting time arguing on a forum? 😬

hollowtinker18 said:I'm not judging, just curious about your logic—how did you end up coming out as a lesbian, slywolf45?
What's the upside?

There's no way I can explain that in just three sentences; I assume you realize that? It’s way too complex for such a quick answer. I suppose women just suit her better. 😍

As far as that goes, it's her life. Though, I have to admit, I get a little annoyed by that tiny, subtle (😍) sense she has that she's part of some "elite" group because of it. Like, "Oh, I'm just special in a positive way." Yeah, sure, whatever floats your boat. 😬 🤣

No hard feelings, slywolf45. 🙂

slywolf45 said:What exactly am I seeing differently?🤷

No, but it doesn't mean they weren't either. 😉
You pick up on a lot more things when you're right in the thick of it—if that's even how you'd put it. You hear way more than you do when you're straight.😉

You’ve got a skewed perspective simply because you’re right in the thick of it.

Most people aren't actually at the center of everything. In other words, your conclusions are being drawn from a statistically insignificant sample size.

Sure, there are plenty of them. But let's be honest—that term "plenty" is pretty vague. It could mean anything.

hiddenhound3 said:Those women—and I include myself in that group 😁—have reached that conclusion based on their own personal experiences. Obviously, slywolf45 holds a different perspective, but that is a matter of individual intimacy; what carries weight for one person does not necessarily apply to another. Wouldn't you agree? 😉

You missed the mark again, honestly. 🤷 It’s not like it's completely worthless. I'm not saying it lacks any significance at all. 🤣Of course, that's a pretty interesting tool. 🙂 Look, that’s definitely not the only reason a woman would be straight. For crying out loud, I feel like I have to spell everything out for you.

hiddenhound3 said:I am not being untruthful; rather, I am simply attempting to convey that such instances are far from rare. My intention was to address the underlying motivations behind these experiments—whether they stem from pure curiosity, a search for sexual identity, or a desire to push the boundaries of how one perceives sexuality. From what I have observed through personal experience, rather than just reading textbooks, the vast majority of cases eventually settle back into a conventional pattern.

Hold on, you missed my point... of course it's not a rare phenomenon. I never claimed it was. In fact, I know it's quite common. (Though I am curious what "rare" means to you).

But you definitely missed the mark with that idea that "a dick is irreplaceable." That is simply not true. Just ask slywolf45, for instance. 😬 It is incredibly easy to replace one thing with something else.

Honestly, I'd rather not say what I think about a girl who would choose me over another woman just because she thinks "a dick is irreplaceable." I’d probably just hand her the most expensive vibrator on the market and say, "Here, this will serve you just fine." 😬 😈 🤣

Alex Patel96 said:Some guy made a baseless, stupid claim. Then SS jumped in and, instead of pointing out how unfounded it was, just threw out her own opinion as if she's some kind of authority. It's just as stubborn and narrow-minded as his.

Neither that guy, nor her, nor I have any business making those kinds of judgments.

I already covered that in middle school biology, but no matter how you look at it, the fact remains that you echoed her while completely ignoring his post. There isn't really any other reason for that besides what I already mentioned. Look, you know it and I know it—there’s no reason to be stubborn. Having an opinion isn't a "sin." I'm just stating a fact.

Alex Patel96 said:No. Did I actually make a claim? No. Why? Because I don't have any data on this phenomenon.😉

🙂

User A made one unverified claim. User B made another.

You just echoed User B. Why choose User B instead of User A?

Let's not play games here. I'm fairly certain our collective IQ is higher than the number of shoes in this room. 🤷

hiddenhound3 said:During my own period of exploring my sexual identity, I experimented quite extensively. I also have numerous female friends who felt deeply confused about their orientation during late puberty or early adolescence; very few could claim with absolute certainty that they were strictly heterosexual, and I know for a fact that many of us fantasized about homosexual encounters. In the end, however, 99% of us reached the conclusion that a man is indispensable. 😳 To be perfectly honest, I don't know a single woman who remained in a lesbian relationship. While I cannot say for certain why this phenomenon occurs, I do know that it is by no means an uncommon occurrence.

Nothing is so sacred that it can't be replaced. Even drug Marshall. 😬

I'd argue the same applies to the cock... I mean, what is it really? Just some cylindrical object. Why should it be considered "irreplaceable"? There are plenty of vibrators out there that simulate both the shape and the sensation perfectly.

Basically, it's total bullshit. 🙂

Edward Wilson82 said:Most people have those dark little fantasies about kids... they just don't say it out loud.

Drop some actual proof that it isn't the majority—unless you've actually done the legwork. Because right now, you're just claiming it’s not the case based on your own gut feeling and personal experience. That's about as credible as my own take.

Most people have those dark little fantasies about taking out their own parents.

So, where's the proof that it isn't the majority? Unless you’ve actually gone out and done the research, you can't know that—period. If you're claiming otherwise, it's just your opinion and your own lived experience. And honestly? That carries exactly as much weight as my claim does.

I honestly can't recall ever having dreams like these.

Edward Wilson82 said:Most people have those dark little fantasies about kids... they just don't say it out loud.

Drop some actual proof that it isn't the majority—unless you've actually done the legwork. Because right now, you're just claiming it’s not the case based on your own gut feeling and personal experience. That's about as credible as my own take.

Most people have those dark little fantasies about taking out their own parents.

So, where's the proof that it isn't the majority? Unless you’ve actually gone out and done the research, you can't know that—period. If you're claiming otherwise, it's just your opinion and your own lived experience. And honestly? That carries exactly as much weight as my claim does.

I never saw this coming, but I once had a dream where—completely by accident, mind you—I ended up slicing my little brother with a saber. I can still vividly recall that crushing sense of guilt... even though it wasn't intentional, it didn't make the feeling any easier to stomach.

On the other hand, I don't recall ever dreaming about having sexual contact with an unknown, LOL. It just goes to show how much those developmental phases vary... if anything, I probably moved past that stage before I was even five years old, back when I couldn't even remember my own dreams.

Alex Patel96 said:Did you even read this thread from the start?😕 I wasn't actually making any claims myself. The two people before me were just bickering over whether it was a majority or not. So... you completely missed the point.☕

So, you finally picked a side, didn't you? 🙂

Alex Patel96 said:Oh, so you're going to drop some evidence to back up that claim that it isn't the majority? What, did you run a clinical study or something?🙄

Your whole argument is based on nothing but your opinion and your own personal experience. It’s about as credible as his.☕

The point is rooted in basic middle school biology. That claim by Peter Phillips32—that we aren't "wired" this way naturally—is frankly nonsensical. Humans are sexually reproducing organisms; we don't propagate through budding or asexual cell division. We wouldn't even be able to reproduce if there wasn't an innate biological drive toward the opposite sex in *most* people of both genders. Like I said, it’s seventh-grade science. Of course, that doesn't mean certain individuals won't exist without that specific drive, or those whose drive is more muted.

Alex Patel96 said:You clearly didn't realize that not all lesbians are the same. Helpful?😁

I did... I just didn't know specifically about you until you mentioned it. Right?

In other words, I don't "know" it now either; I can only choose to believe you... 😬

Anyway, I'd love to stay and chat, but I have to head out for a trip...

slywolf45 said:None of those actually applied here.😢
🙂

It was just typical... uh... "folk wisdom."

I’d rather not even get started on what I think about that kind of logic. 🤣

steeltiger2 said:Man, I know that feeling all too well.😢 I had a friend who went through the exact same thing while his girlfriend was traveling; he completely spiraled and invented scenarios out of thin air. She wasn't even doing anything! The real issue lies within us—the pathologically jealous ones. It's all happening inside our own heads.
When my boyfriend was away on a business trip, I was practically dying from the anxiety.
I need someone else to weigh in with some actual wisdom here, because if it were up to me, I'd have fixed this internal problem ages ago.

So, are those two still together? How many years has it been now? 😬

steeltiger2 said:I’ve honestly just come to see this as totally standard—nothing out of the ordinary at all. It’s one of those things that feels completely normal to me. Actually, I love the idea; I’d probably try to set up a little group arrangement with my girlfriends on my days off.
Honestly, I wouldn't even give them a second thought if they weren't actually decent-looking people—which, let's be real, is the only reason they're even on my radar. But honestly? I just don't feel the urge. It’s actually getting pretty boring at this point. I know myself well enough to know how I get once I’m actually falling for someone and fully in a relationship. Right now? None of them even come close to my standards. Not even close.

🤷 Well, here you are, right now, on this forum, talking about these guys. You're saying they're okay and attractive, but that you aren't interested and find it all quite dull.

Why wouldn't you mention something like that to your boyfriend? Just as casually as you're telling us here. Why does it feel fine to discuss it on a forum, yet you feel there's no reason to bring it up with him?

To me, the logic seems to work the other way around.

What do you think—does he sit around at work with his buddies, joking about how a female colleague is hitting on him? Would it bother you if you found out through someone else that he was doing that? Or would it? Is it the action itself that bothers you, or the fact that you had to find out? 🤷

I remember a coworker once mentioning how much he wanted to hook up with his then-girlfriend's sister (who actually ended up becoming his wife later). He probably didn't tell her that. So, do you believe in "what you don't know won't hurt you"—or would you rather know the truth?