No, you’re describing that old-school, rigid approach where the teacher is basically an absolute authority figure—law, god, and corporal punishment all rolled into one—leaving kids trembling in fear. It sounds like something out of a school from the early 1900s, complete with rulers used for discipline. I believe the relationship in a classroom should be a partnership built on mutual respect, rather than being rooted in fear. That said, I also think there have to be actual consequences for breaking rules, provided the students clearly understand what those rules are. And I don't mean vague threats like, "You won't find a job later in life if you don't get better grades," but rather consequences that happen right then and there.
You’re leaning into extremes again. It’s either going to be a professor who rules with an iron fist until the students are terrified, or one who’s so hands-off that nobody learns anything at all.🤷
Emily Gonzalez51 said:Look, most parents simply don't care. Kids act out precisely because their parents fail to step up and get involved. It’s basic logic: when a student is forced to stay home instead of heading to class, they’ll finally have something to think about.
🤷 I don't really see how that would be enough to make my parents change how they handle things. But even if it was, you're still basically giving a kid a free week to just sit around, watch TV, and surf the web—assuming the parents can even keep them in the house long enough to supervise them.🤷
Emily Gonzalez51 said:Temporary suspension is actually an excellent tool; I know they implement it in Austria, and from what I’ve heard recently, even in Germany. It gives a student a moment to actually reflect on their actions instead of just plotting their next move. Furthermore, parents aren't exactly thrilled when their kid gets sent home like that, which certainly doesn't make for a pleasant household environment.
Then again, if parents are already struggling with their child's behavior or frustrated by the discipline, staying home won't exactly be a pleasant experience for them either. Looking back at my own school days, I honestly wouldn't have minded a week off 🤣 if that was the consequence. If it's just a break from class, I don't really see the point. 🤷 On a more technical note though, where are these kids actually supposed to go? I'm curious about where they stay when they're suspended from school.
Are you actually suggesting that the military shouldn't be a training ground for abusing subordinates? This feels like that debate over corporal punishment taken to an extreme—if you're totally against it, you might as well let a kid climb on the ceiling and crap on everyone's heads.
Susan James said:Those detention centers still exist today, and kids are still sent there if the relevant authorities decide it's necessary. In these facilities, they might undergo observation (diagnosis) and then be referred to a residential treatment center, a group home, or a foster care setting—though they can also stay with their own families.
Not much has changed in the last 20 years. I'm not quite sure what you meant by that. 🤷
And I still don't understand how threatening a kid who's just being disruptive with expulsion could possibly motivate them to actually show up to school. 🤣 I would actually love for someone to explain that to me. 🙂
I never said sanctions weren't needed, but certain generalized sanctions—which are what usually get proposed—just aren't effective. Applying the same punishment to everyone regardless of context is pointless. It's just as illogical to punish a child who disrupts class by sending them to a residential facility while the parent at home remains unpunished despite being abusive or aggressive. In that scenario, the parent basically gets more free time as a "reward" and doesn't have to worry about providing food or supervision for the child. To me, that feels incredibly unfair, and it sends a terrible long-term message to both that child and the rest of the student body. As long as parents don't face consequences for their child's behavior, nothing is going to change. Legally speaking, for a parent who fails to provide proper upbringing, the current recourse is mostly just removing the child and placing them in state care.
A child might disrupt class for many reasons: maybe the material is too easy, they have gaps in their knowledge, it's too hard due to learning disabilities, or there are major crises happening at home that are more pressing than math homework. It could also be because a teacher is picking on them or another student is bullying them. Theoretically, you could have five students acting out with the exact same behavior, but each one has a completely different story behind it. I agree that there needs to be a consequence for the behavior to stop and to signal to all kids what is acceptable, but we primarily need to address the underlying issues and provide support for positive behaviors instead.
I don't get the whole temporary suspension thing either, but honestly, expulsion is something kids used to be genuinely afraid of. You lose your friends and have to transfer to a new school where everyone knows you got kicked out of your old one.
And regarding detention centers, I was trying to say that in the past, kids were sent there for things that seem pretty minor compared to what we hear about now. A friend of mine ended up in a residential program (she just attended school there under supervision) because she was cutting class constantly and showed up to school on a Saturday morning still hungover from Friday night. From what I understand, the kids placed in those intensive treatment programs are usually the ones involved in serious things like robbery or even homicide.
Honestly, you have to look past the local inspectors who are too scared to act. You need to take this straight to the federal level, the department heads, or even hit up the news and national TV if that's what it takes.
James Perez54 said:So what?☕ Am I supposed to feel sorry for a kid like that while they're busy bullying my own child—who hasn't done anything wrong—and piling on frustration or maybe even lasting trauma?
It's easy to deal with preschool bullies because they're small and the teachers can usually handle them.
Just wait until your kids are in elementary school; let's see if you still have all this empathy for those "poor, little, vulnerable" aggressors then.🙄😁
I think you can react appropriately while still having empathy in your heart. That doesn't mean there shouldn't be consequences or a real response. Just because I feel bad for someone and understand why they're acting out doesn't mean I should do nothing, or just give them a pat on the back. In my view, bullies should either be separated from the group and sent for treatment, or kept in the group under strict supervision and professional guidance. It really just depends on how serious the situation is.
Emily Gonzalez51 said:Bully culture isn't some special, vulnerable demographic in need of social services—that's a complete myth. Most of the time, you're just looking at spoiled kids who grew up without a single boundary in their lives. I remember a thread where parents were complaining about how a preschooler would lash out at their child while Mom was busy on her iPhone. Those same kids are going to end up in the same elementary school as yours one day. They are simply testing the limits to see where they lie; I suppose it's just human nature. When there are no rules, society starts resembling a lawless wasteland where the biggest bully runs the show. And sure, bullies "need help"—specifically, they need to be shown, quite firmly, exactly where the line is drawn.
Yeah, it’s definitely a spoiled kid when a parent isn't paying attention. But little bullies aren't always just spoiled; if they are, they usually aren't getting the love or affection they actually need. In many cases, these kids are actually neglected or being abused at home. They obviously need help, but I think the right way to help is by setting clear boundaries that come with real consequences.
Back when I was in elementary school, the threat of expulsion actually kept kids somewhat in check. Even then, we had kids stabbing knives into desks and stuff like that. Yeah, even more than 20 years ago, some kids acted out just like this 😁 but having that one tool—expulsion—meant they actually feared the consequences. And of course, once you're expelled, continuing your education usually means heading to alternative programs. My best friend ended up in one of those programs after being kicked out, and looking back, I honestly think it helped her get her act together and find some stability. It’s really kind to look at things through a compassionate lens, seeing a child who needs help rather than someone who is inherently bad, but just a product of their environment. I completely agree with that, and I'm certain that most "bad" adults simply missed out on getting the support they needed during their childhood. However, I think it might be a bit naive and idealistic to suggest that sanctions aren't necessary. Kids know they can get away with anything. They realize they can do whatever comes to mind without facing any real repercussions. If they commit a serious crime, they know they'll just spend six months in a juvenile detention center and be back. If they cause chaos at school, they know nothing will happen to them. You can say what you want, but that way of thinking just isn't realistic.
rapidskipper12 said:State Farm requires home insurance when you have a mortgage. I’ve got mine through Bank of America, and they hit me up every single year with a notice that my policy is about to expire, basically telling me to renew it since those policies only run for a year at most...
This wasn't actually about an expiring policy. My coverage was already set and renewed back in August; this feels more like a scare tactic marketing campaign. They sent out notices to everyone filled with threats and warnings just to push people toward their new service packages. It’s honestly like some Tupperware lady telling you that you better show up to her presentation or she'll be forced to take drastic measures against your business.😁
La luna, I am definitely joining you if you ever decide to start an association like that. 😁
Years ago, I watched this documentary about a private high school—I think it was run by someone like a local political figure—and everything I saw left me completely speechless. It made me realize that even within our system, despite being tied down by strict curricula, it’s actually possible to make a school feel alive instead of just cramming dry facts into kids' heads. I decided right then that if I had to take out a loan to send my child there, I would—even though they weren't even part of my five-year plan back then. 🤣 Maybe that report was a bit sensationalized and things aren't quite that perfect at that school, but if even 20% of it is true, it proves we can do better, even within the current regulations.
On the other hand, I also understand the teachers who eventually just give up. After years of fighting the system, dealing with administrators, struggling with budget cuts, and losing motivation alongside their students... it makes sense why some people just walk away.
I’m not sure if this is the right place to vent, but I’m honestly too frustrated to go looking for another thread. We just received this incredibly aggressive letter from Wells Fargo. They basically claimed that after reviewing their credit portfolio, they "noticed" we haven't fulfilled our contractual obligation to renew our insurance policy. They went on about wanting to avoid taking "unpopular measures" 😲 and demanded that we show up in person at a branch in Manhattan to either hand over our current policy or sign up for a new one right then and there. To make matters worse, they mentioned that if we need a new policy, they’ve conveniently prepared a list of lower premiums and some 20% discounts and so on.
Since we have definitely paid everything required, I called the bank to clarify. Turns out, they sent that exact same letter to everyone. It's nothing more than a promotional campaign for these new insurance packages they're pushing. ☕ It’s such a tacky way to promote something; it reminds me of those old-school door-to-door sales pitches.
The letter is written in such complex legal jargon that you can't really fight them on it. They always have an excuse ready, like how they "just didn't receive the data from the insurer." It’s just peak shamelessness. Threatening people with "unpopular measures" just to trick them into coming in so they can sell them a package.
Oh right, I completely forgot about the keyboard layout!
But what I was getting at was using a 5th-grade history textbook as an example. About ten years ago, my sister had this book that was filled with little sidebars, illustrations, highlighted facts, and review questions—and it was only about half a centimeter thick. My textbook, on the other hand, was basically just endless walls of text with maybe a couple of pictures of historical figures or landmarks, and it was over a centimeter thick. So, if that’s the metric for whether things were easier for us... 🤷
All I can tell you is that we didn't use grades back then; we used colored dots instead. 😂 But man, you must have really worked hard to earn five red ones. 🤷 There were maybe six or seven kids in my class who consistently had all five red dots, but most of us didn't. The black dots were way too easy to get—just talk a little too much during class and boom, you've got a black dot. 🤣
I just wanted to offer a little sympathy to you ladies—honestly, things get even tougher after you give birth. There’s nothing worse than standing in a long line or sitting in a doctor's waiting room, knowing you have a tiny baby waiting for you at home. 😍 I would trade every single maternity leave perk just to have people let me skip the line right now. 😍
But he really needs to hear it from you. This is way too big of an issue to just ignore; if you let it sit, things could spiral and everything might just fall apart. Maybe he thinks he can't afford to take any time off because of the baby expenses. Who knows what's actually going through his head. Either way, you should probably just be honest with him about how you're feeling.
That’s true! Mine was exactly the same way. I think I finally had that moment after the ultrasound where it truly clicked that there was actually a baby growing inside her. And once we started feeling those little kicks, it became even more real. I honestly think it just takes some people a bit longer to process because, at the end of the day, they aren't the ones physically carrying the baby—it’s more of a mental shift for them.
I mean, I know those cases exist, but the frequency of complications in women is on a completely different level—especially since women actually go for regular screenings while men almost never do. Men usually only check in once they hit that age where prostate issues become a concern. When you factor in how many women have been affected despite having much more frequent medical checkups than men, it’s fair to say that men mostly act as carriers. Most HPV infections just clear up on their own in men.
Now, I might come across like some kind of vaccine advocate here, but I just want to point out that it's better to get your information from professionals you actually trust rather than listening to random emails.