Posts by Thomas Scott5

And then there are other people... Honestly, the sheer lack of empathy some folks have toward pregnant women just blows my mind.

I’m hitting almost 37 weeks now, and honestly? I haven't slept a wink this entire pregnancy. I’m getting less sleep than I ever have in my life, mostly because I’m up at least 3 or 4 times a night hitting the bathroom. I’ve probably managed maybe ten naps during the day total.

And don't even get me started on my skin... It's bone-dry, flaky, and breaking out everywhere. My dermatitis has actually gotten worse. As for my hair... let's just say it's "normal." I am nowhere near that "pregnancy glow" everyone talks about.

On the bright side, I was pleasantly surprised that I didn't need a single allergy pill all season this year. Fingers crossed I'm not jinxing myself here 😁

What really gets under my skin, though, is this constant ache in my upper back and ribs.

I keep telling everyone how lucky they are that I’m such a chill, level-headed pregnant woman. People love to chime in with their unsolicited opinions, but my strategy is basically just to smile and let it all go in one ear and out the other. I don't let anyone get under my skin—whether they're commenting on my weight, breastfeeding, baby gear, or how big my bump is getting. I'm just doing my own thing. I guess I've yelled twice and had about five random crying fits during this whole pregnancy, but honestly, that's pretty negligible.

As for non-alcoholic beer... I tried it once during my pregnancy and it was easily the worst thing I've ever tasted. Maybe it's okay for some people, but I'd much rather wait for the real deal. For now, I'll stick to an iron-fortified juice, a smoothie, or a sugar-free lemonade. Sometimes I'll grab one of those organic juices from Whole Foods that has no additives, but mostly, I just stick to water.

When I was first getting into this, having the support of the community really helped me out, even on days when I had to step away from the forums for a bit. It’s hard to find that kind of understanding in the real world; once you've been in these circles for a while and start dealing with things like long-term recovery or intensive medical management, people around you rarely get what you're actually going through. Now that I'm pregnant, I'm still active here, but I'm being more selective about which threads I dive into so I don't stress myself out.

Patrick Brown3 said:Moon, truth be told.
People have this mental image of pregnant women being high-maintenance, but I was never that type.
The only stereotype I actually fit was that I couldn't stomach coffee during my first trimester. That was it.
I didn't have any "special requirements." I wasn't out there eating pickles with ice cream or chocolate with pâté—just typical nonsense—even though people constantly hinted that I might. Honestly, I just felt bad disappointing them. 🤣

I mean, I definitely dealt with nausea and smells that drove me slightly insane since I couldn't escape them. But I totally get the other part. Everyone who found out I was pregnant had two main questions: 1) how much weight have you put on already? and 2) are you eating anything crazy? If I told them I was keeping my weight under control and didn't have a craving for a Nutella burger with pickles or whatever, I’d just get a confused look followed by, "You know, don't try to diet now. Just eat if you want to eat." 🤦

dustymaker642 said:There's a whole spectrum of it... you've got the people who truly had a hard time and just want to "prepare" you for what's coming, then there are those who—whether they realize it or not—project their own frustrations onto your life, and finally, there are those who haven't the slightest clue what they're talking about, but they'll open their mouths anyway...
My Pregnancy was pretty uneventful, which I guess sounds like a dream, but from my perspective, it just felt endless because I had to stay off my feet so much, making it feel like it lasted a hundred years while I just counted down the days until delivery. And man, once the baby actually arrived... honestly, it was thousands of times more intense than any random lady on the street could have ever warned me about. Those first few months postpartum were just brutal, and even though I'm so thankful to God that the baby was healthy and perfect, everything else felt like a heavy, exhausting fog. For those first two months, I think I spent way more time crying than the baby did. 🙂 Eventually, the baby found a bit of a rhythm and things started getting easier, little by little... but personally, I didn't really start feeling like myself again until they were seven or eight months old, and even then, I was only halfway there.

I’m certainly not living the life I imagined I’d have after having a kid, but things are definitely much more manageable than they were right at the start.

One thing that makes a massive difference is whether or not you actually have help you can rely on, because that truly changes everything. But, just like anything else in life, I think your mindset and how you handle things mentally is what matters most. Someone else in my shoes might have struggled even more, but I'm also certain there are plenty of people who would have handled my situation a lot better than I did.

So, my best advice is to just tune everyone else out, because everything is so subjective and depends on a million different factors—half of which you can't control or barely influence at all. It’s probably best to just go into it without any huge expectations or fears and just take things as they come. 🙂 People will give you good advice, and you'll see that, but that doesn't mean you won't run into some rough patches along the way. 🙂

soooo true! 🤣

Nicholas Gomez3 said:The thing that caught me most off guard during my Pregnancy is the sheer volume of anxiety I feel regarding the baby.

I’d honestly rather endure a three-day migraine than let fear swallow me whole like an Advil could.
I’m terrified the baby will be born with health issues or won't make it at all.
I'm scared my own body might fail me.
I'm scared the doctors will completely screw things up during or after delivery.

I also worry that if I push for a natural birth, I'll end up hurting the baby because I don't have the medical expertise of a doctor—yet, at the same time, I have zero faith in their decisions after everything I've read about medical horror stories.

Uh-huh... I’m going to have to start chanting mantras that everything will be fine, or I'm going to lose my mind.

🙂 I think a lot of us share at least half of those fears, plus a few extras.

Michelle Thomas19 said:I’ve officially stopped commenting on anyone's pregnancy—whether it's friends, acquaintances, or even my own family. I honestly don't have the energy to engage with people who don't have kids; I just can't relate, so why bother? And for those who *do* have kids? The unsolicited commentary is becoming endless. It starts before the pregnancy with stuff like, "Just wait until you see what happens once the kids actually arrive," then moves to, "Oh, so now you're in that uncertain phase for a few weeks," followed by, "The nausea is nothing compared to when you're bloated and everything starts bothering you," and now that I'm feeling huge, it's, "Just wait until you see what labor is like..."

Honestly, does it ever end? I bet after the birth comes the "wait until you try breastfeeding," the "wait until they start school," and eventually, "wait until they bring a daughter-in-law home." Well, if I happen to see it... I guess I'll just have to deal with it.

God, you cracked me up! 😂 But seriously, do people really have nothing better to say than "you'll see"? Like, give me some actual advice instead of just making empty threats!

Nicholas Carter6 said:Americans actually have a specific word for that: "snissing." It’s basically when you let out a little accidental pee right when you sneeze! :-)
I definitely went through that whole shortness of breath phase myself, probably around weeks 16 to 20. It’s usually just because your plasma volume is spiking and your cardiovascular system is trying to get used to the extra workload. Things leveled out for a bit... but now I'm feeling the squeeze again. My uterus is getting so big it feels like it's pressing against my ribs and making it hard to catch a breath, but since the baby is sitting pretty low, it's not quite as intense as those crazy late-term struggles other moms deal with...

I've definitely noticed it the last few days; when I lie down for bed at night, I feel like I've just finished a thirty-minute run. My breathing rate has definitely picked up.

Patrick Brown3 said:Yes, everyone would love to visit.
I'll pass. I can't manage it; I'm exhausted.

And then there is the nighttime bathroom trips. Every time I turn over in bed, I have to go—seven or eight times.
It is always an emergency; the pressure is intense. Then I get there, and only a few drops come out. 🤦
If I don't go when the urge hits, I won't be able to go at all. Tell me if you agree.🙏

Exactly! That's it. It feels like my bladder is about to burst with three liters, but then it's just three drops. And once you finally go, you're fine for a bit until those next three drops start building up again. It isn't quite the same discomfort or pain you get with a UTI 🤷 at least not for me. During the day, I can mostly manage without issues unless my bladder is completely full.

Pregnancy brain... 🙂 I honestly, for the last few days, I’ve been constantly starting things only to stop mid-way because I completely forgot why I even started 🤦
Then there's this endless nighttime peeing that makes zero sense to me. I read all over the internet that these are just "phases" of pregnancy, but for me, it's constant. I'm hitting 20 weeks soon, and in that entire time, I've maybe had three nights where I slept through without needing to pee. Every other night, I'm up at least 3 or 4 times. Last night was probably a new record.

Steven Walker3, how do you not get that no ultrasound can touch a maternity scan? That thing sees everything—hair, anatomy, size, even the due date. 😂

I don't know, I always let pregnant women, elderly folks with canes, or even just some random grandma or grandpa go ahead of me if they're right behind me. If someone's got just two or three things and I've got a full cart, I’ll step aside too. It just feels right to me.

I'm probably not far enough along in my pregnancy for anyone to even notice, especially in these heavy winter clothes, so I haven't really had the chance to test out getting priority in line yet.

I think that whole "you'll see" line makes everyone's skin crawl. And honestly, it’s not just pregnant women. It’s basically what people say when they've run out of actual arguments and just need to have the last word.

Brenda Doyle5 said:My advice? Don't do it. Stick with long hair. It's way easier—just throw it in a ponytail or a bun and you look put-together, even if you haven't washed it in days or don't have time to style it. 👍
Plus, your hair will probably grow back like crazy, so you'll be stuck at the salon constantly just to keep it manageable.

(Sorry, I hope you don't come after me; I'm just speaking from experience and what I've seen happen to my short-haired friends. 🙂 )

No worries,🙂 I won't. That’s actually exactly how I feel about it too. Maybe once I have kids and it's summer, then I might consider it so it grows out by autumn, but right now? No chance.

Here I am, joining the party 👋

Current status:
- My mom has told me about a million times, "Just get a haircut, you'll feel so much better."
- I'm 15 weeks along and eating is still a complete gamble every single day. Will this food actually stay down? Who knows. The morning sickness is technically over, but I'm still basically at war with everything I eat and every smell I encounter.
- And honestly, when I was at my absolute worst—meaning I couldn't even dream of leaving my bed for the couch, let alone seeing people—everyone kept trying to drop by. It’s like they thought I was some kind of zoo exhibit to study while I was puking. Everyone knew I felt like crap. If I had just said I had a stomach flu and needed someone to grab something from CVS, they probably would have given me a wide berth. But because it's been five weeks of vomiting and I'm "just pregnant," everyone acts like it's perfectly normal.

Nera, thanks 🙂
Picking a photographer was easily the hardest part for us, too. At the end of the day, those photos are pretty much the only thing you actually get to keep as a memory. Music is just about setting the vibe—it mostly comes down to the playlist and the DJ, and if things start heading south, you can always step in. But with the photography, you don't realize if it's bad until it's already too late.

William Lewis8, I am plenty cool. Not sure why you’d think otherwise.

William Lewis8 said:Yeah, exactly... that’s precisely why I gave up on them. Plus, the print quality is usually garbage—everything comes out looking pixelated and grainy, like a bunch of tiny little dots. Honestly, I don't get how they even stay in business like this, especially since they aren't exactly cheap either...

Jabucica, I honestly have no idea what you mean by poor resolution. They provide two different versions. One is a web-optimized version for easy sharing online, and the other is full resolution, which you get on a Microsoft drive. I'm really not sure where you're getting that info. As for being popular, it's because Papaya actually takes great shots. Whether their style matches yours or what you're looking for is a whole different story. You just have to know which photographers to pick for traditional shots versus a specific artistic style. But that's a completely different conversation.

"Quote:"

graniteskipper48 said:I've heard that too. They capture great moments during the party, which is nice, but I wouldn't want an album full of shots of people who aren't even important to me while missing the ones of us and our inner circle. That's why I asked about the photo sessions specifically. It matters to me, since I guess this is probably the only time I'll actually pay a significant amount of money to have someone take my picture. 🙂

Nera, we worked everything out with them beforehand. We even had a few specific shots planned with our parents and friends. We made sure to hit every table we wanted so we’d have photos with everyone—especially the immediate family and close friends. I can't give you a final verdict on the photos yet since we haven't received them, but honestly, based on how the day went and their communication, we were really happy with them. Look, if you're looking for a formal photoshoot where someone directs every single pose, they might not be the right fit for you. We weren't interested in that classic, staged vibe, so having a few "set" shots was just enough for us. Everyone has different tastes. We didn't want that whole "look at each other like this, jump now, act like this, then act like that" routine, which is why we didn't pick that type of photographer. We also didn't want a follow-up shoot the next day, so I'm not sure how they handle that, though I know some photographers do short sessions like engagement shoots. We just wanted something relaxed—to capture the actual moments and the genuine emotions. Hopefully, they nailed it.
Your best bet is just to reach out to them. Tell them what you have in mind, see if they can actually pull it off, and ask for a quote.

graniteskipper48 said:Hi ladies... I guess I'll join this thread now as a new bride-to-be. Just one question to start things off. Regarding photographers, I'm thinking about hiring Papaji, but I'd only want the photography service, not the video. Do they ever do just one or the other? Also, does anyone happen to have any recent info on their pricing? Thanks!!

We used Papaja. You can pretty much negotiate anything with them. They do photo-only packages too. If I recall correctly, just the photos without the album or video runs about $1667.