Look, I don’t have much experience with weddings in San Francisco. I’ve only been to one there, and if my memory serves me right, it was at the President so I can't really offer much comfort regarding your venue choice. Hopefully, we didn't make a mistake with ours either.🙂Yeah, I really need to start calling photographers and bands soon, because I could easily end up with zero options left. It drives me crazy that you can't just research everything you want and book it a month before the big party; instead, you're forced to scramble the second you get engaged because everything is already booked up! edit: It's good to hear that feraljackal2 thinks Pirate is a solid choice.🙂 We loved that the space is smaller and has that massive terrace with an ocean view. I’ve heard the food is excellent, which is huge for us. Now I just need to figure out the tablecloths, high-top tables, linens, and lighting—basically, how much we actually need to step in and handle ourselves. As for that photography studio, I'm a little wary of those places that use more than one lead photographer.🤷
Yeah, Fox didn't really do it for me. His photos are great, but based on his profile, he’s just not my vibe—they feel a bit "cold," if you know what I mean, except for that one girl who is absolutely adorable 🙂 Papaya is definitely on my shortlist, and I'm still getting to know Bonacci. Haven't run into him yet. I'm starting to get a little desperate and am even considering bringing someone in from out of town to San Francisco, but I'm still holding out hope for finding someone local who actually fits our style.
Regarding the music, Betty Davis93 all the names you mentioned are on my radar. I have this running list that I update every day with new bands I discover, but I don't reach out to anyone until I've done my homework by watching their videos online and ranking them. As for the budget, I'm prepared to drop about $2,000 😢, provided the money is actually worth it—meaning I find a band that truly delivers exactly what we and our guests are looking for.
Thanks for the photographer leads. Honestly, I haven't come across any of them yet. I’m looking for someone who can actually capture raw emotion through the lens since we won't have a video. They need an eye for great shots, but also someone easy to coordinate with for those inevitable "posed" family photos where spontaneity just isn't happening. Basically, I want zero heavy filters or excessive Photoshop, and definitely none of that trendy stuff where people pose in abandoned factories.
As for music, I need a band that will play all night with minimal breaks. They should be able to nail both American classics and rock hits—something fun, maybe some old-school soul or folk vibes thrown in, but keeping the focus on rock. Country twang is strictly forbidden, as is anything by Thompson or any combat-themed songs. I need people I can trust to keep playing until dawn if people want to dance. I don't want a wedding hosted by someone constantly calling out names or forcing people onto the floor. Actually, the fewer speeches and the more music, the better. 😁 Just keep people moving with solid tunes. 🙂 I think we’d probably prefer someone with a female vocalist too, so they can mix it up with solo male parts, solo female parts, or duets... Am I being too picky?
Hey ladies, joining the thread. We’ve already booked the Pirate, but everything else is becoming a massive headache. Right now, I’m hunting for a photographer and a band. Both are huge priorities for me, but since I’m not based in San Francisco, I can't just go out and hear bands live. As for photographers, I'm incredibly picky—most of them just don't make the cut. Now that I've finished venting, I have a question (and there will be plenty more 😳 later), but let's take it one step at a time.
Does anyone here have experience with, or know how the decor process works at the Pirate? (linens, tablecloths, the patio...) Also, what's your take on extra lighting? They have those small ceiling lights, but I have no idea how the vibe is at night or if it would be smarter to bring in some additional lighting. Any insight from weddings held at that venue would be super helpful.
Steven Patel5, let me tell you something crucial: it all comes down to communication. You need honest conversations without anyone being stubborn or acting self-righteous. Talk it out, sleep on it, then talk again. Let everything settle, and then go back to the table. No judging, no forcing your views, no lecturing—just pure empathy and actually listening to what the other person is saying. If you have to sleep on it again before talking? Fine. Do that too.
Just try running through different scenarios in your head...
If there's love there, and if you already envisioned living together, raising kids, and building a life, then this (assuming she's pregnant) is just that same script playing out on fast-forward.
As for those parents you mentioned... honestly, give me a break. This isn't high school! You're an adult man, and you're the one who has to live with the consequences of your own choices, not them. What’s happening between you and your girlfriend stays between you two—and that little baby. Everyone else is just watching from the sidelines.
cosmicpanther71 said:😕 If you were only 20, I might get where you're coming from. But I don't really see the issue here; people adapt to things. I suppose one is never truly prepared for certain life shifts, but once they happen, you just... deal with them.
Besides, there's no point in looking back. If you felt ready for the responsibility, then a little one isn't such a huge leap.
I'm with them. Wait, you're both old enough and have solid jobs...
One more vital question though: do you actually love each other?
I see you started answering some questions while I was still typing my post.
Look, I don't want to be a jerk, but between ages 25 and 28, did you guys seriously not consider the possibility that she could still get pregnant?
Okay, so they were careful, but accidents happen.
Maybe it really is just stress right now. Use this time to actually sit down and talk about what happens next, regardless of whether there's a positive test or not.
Whoa, let’s dial it back a notch. I get that you guys are stressed, but claiming these are the worst days of your lives is a bit much. Definitely not.
There are way, way worse things than an unplanned pregnancy.
Look, here’s my take: Both of you just need to take a deep breath. Have her take another test in the morning. If it comes back positive, just sleep on it to let the initial shock wear off. Try to actually look at the big picture: what exactly changes? Why is this such a disaster? Is it really as bad as it feels right now? If you need to sleep on it for a couple of days, do it.
The fact that you haven't lived together yet doesn't mean anything. How old are you guys? Are you working? In college? Living with your parents?
You mentioned you've been together for five years. Have you seriously never once discussed what would happen if she got pregnant?
It’s totally possible your period is late just because your body is still detoxing from birth control and trying to get its hormones back on track. I don't know what your cycles were like before you started the pill or how long you were on it.
Your best bet is to take a test or go get a blood test done. A beta test will give you a definitive answer on whether you're pregnant. Women going through IVF usually have them tested as early as ten days after ovulation.
Let's say your ovulation hit perfectly on day 14. That would put you at day 19, which is just five days post-ovulation. According to the textbooks, implantation usually happens anywhere from five to ten days after that. If you went in for an ultrasound now, you might see something, but it’d likely just be a tiny little bubble.
There’s no way an OB-GYN could see anything on an ultrasound right now. They might spot a corpus luteum on your ovary to confirm you ovulated, but it's way too early to see any sign of pregnancy.
If her cycles are regular and about the same length, she'd likely start bleeding today or tomorrow... but again, based on just the two dates you provided, none of us can actually predict when her period will arrive.
I can't give you any real insight based on just two dates from a single cycle. I'm guessing you don't even know how regular her period actually is. How many days ago did you guys have sex?
Jeremy Nelson3 said:Well, here I am again... just waiting for those two lines to show up... so I was wondering—before I go ahead and take another test—if anyone else has dealt with heartburn triggered by basically anything you eat (or if maybe I just have a sensitive stomach)? Also, my breasts feel swollen, though strangely enough, they aren't sore at all, which feels a bit odd to me...
For me, heartburn and stomach pain (more like a burning sensation) are just standard PMS symptoms.
hollowhawk15 said:To keep it brief, what you're going through is incredibly uncomfortable, but it’s ultimately harmless, and it sounds exactly like Panic Disorder. You can look that up in any medical encyclopedia or on the Mayo Clinic website, and you'll see it matches everything you're feeling. I wouldn't recommend going down any random internet rabbit holes because that won't actually help you feel better, even though I know how intensely overwhelming those attacks can be. I've been dealing with my own version of this over the last couple of years, and honestly, would you believe how many people in their 20s and 30s struggle with this? Most of them don't even realize what's happening to them, so they end up wasting time on all sorts of unnecessary tests. There is so much more I could tell you about it, but I don't want to clutter this thread unless you have some specific questions. If you really want to tackle this and want to know how to move forward, just send me a private message and I'll explain things to you. Phew... I hope that was short enough for you. 🙂
Hang in there...
Look, don't you think getting a Mayo Clinic checkup is actually worth it? I don't consider that one of those "stupid tests." It isn't always just panic or whatever; besides, it doesn't hurt to get some basic screenings done. I deal with heart palpitations and tachycardia sometimes too, and trust me, it isn't always just stress or panic attacks!
And thanks for the great advice: "don't go for useless searches because they won't help." Because if something hurts, you're obviously just imagining things, and if your heart is racing or skipping beats, it's definitely *just* a panic attack... 🙄 Keep telling people not to see a doctor!
I'm not saying it isn't Panic Disorder for some people, but for others, there's an actual underlying reason. Symptoms can be amplified by stress, sure, but sometimes they aren't.
It's better to at least get the basic tests done and be wrong than to skip them and find out it was something serious!
I've dealt with this most of my life, and I've had plenty of people—including doctors—treat me like a little girl making up problems just because they can't read a Mayo Clinic report or simply don't feel like paying attention to a patient. I could go on...
