I suppose if you just filter out those who have absolutely no desire to be parents, abortion becomes a much less stigmatized issue. It means we aren't pressuring people into parenthood just because "having kids" feels like some silly social expectation of adulthood. I honestly think things would be a lot better overall without such draconian measures.
While I totally agree that some form of authorization should exist, 😬 I’d actually go a step further. If the technology were available, maybe the ideal scenario would be providing a medication at birth that keeps you sterile until you choose to reverse it once you reach adulthood. That way, having children becomes a conscious, deliberate choice in your grown years, rather than an "oops, it happened, I guess we'll deal with it" situation where a child ends up growing up in, well... unfavorable circumstances.
I honestly feel that if someone doesn't feel an enthusiastic, resounding "yes!" when it comes to having kids, they probably shouldn't be parents. Even for those who desperately want them, I think it’s worth pausing to ask why—is it truly out of love, or is it driven by loneliness, a sense of obligation, tradition, or just the desire to have a "mini-me"? A child's psychology is incredibly fragile. I don't see why people who aren't ready for that lifelong responsibility—and there is absolutely nothing shameful about not being ready—or those who aren't aware of a child's emotional and intellectual needs should have children at all. Why is this treated as a universal necessity? Just because we can, doesn't mean we should.🤷
There are plenty of neglected children out there, and let's face it, most of us grow up carrying some level of trauma, insecurity, or mental health struggles stemming from mistakes our parents made. Maybe they meant well, but perhaps they simply didn't know any better.
I really don't get that "just try it, what's the worst that could happen?" mindset when it involves children. We wouldn't approach other high-stakes professions where you hold someone else's life and future in your hands with that kind of recklessness, so why is it considered acceptable when it comes to parenting? 🤔 🤷
34F from Chicago, looking for someone for phone chats—just venting, analyzing things, and acting as an accountability buddy. No texting, please. I'm open to meeting up in person, but let's keep it strictly platonic. Just looking for some intellectual stimulation, my friend 😁
Nicholas King said:The reality is that managing someone else's teenage meltdown is a lot easier when you've just barely survived your own—but believing you can somehow make up for two decades spent playing nanny once you hit forty is a complete delusion.
Look, I get it, I really do. People love to say forty is the new fifteen... as if that actually means anything.
But honestly, what exactly is there to "make up"? 🤔 People who have kids aren't exactly under house arrest for eighteen years straight, and besides, what's the difference between doing things at 25 versus 40? While I guess there's definitely a difference in reverse—adventures in your 40s will surely be better than they could have been at 25. Sure, I might have been in better shape back then, but intelligence, maturity, wit, money, sex... everything else just keeps getting better as the years go by.😁
Brandon Foster7 said:Don't sweat it. Usually, they just talk you into taking out the loan yourself—conveniently making sure you qualify while they don't—and then suddenly it's considered joint property.
Yeah, I spent a long time thinking, "Whatever, I'll just get married to the first guy who comes along later," but here I am at 33, and honestly? I'm glad. I'm actually really happy things turned out this way because now I have so much more confidence, self-awareness, and actual opportunities for some cool adventures—rather than being, say, totally single and wild in my 20s only to end up having kids in my 40s. Plus, I feel like since I'm older, marriage feels almost unnecessary now, unless it's for something specific, I guess, like protecting assets or inheritance or something like that 🤷
@MOP is totally right when it comes to early parenting. Honestly, I think 20 definitely wasn't the right age for marriage, but I feel okay about having my first child at 21. It means by the time I hit my 40s, I'll finally have that freedom to fly the coop—and I guess that thought alone keeps me going! 🤣
Who knows. I ended up getting married at 20, so clearly, the timing just wasn't right. Though, I suppose the bigger issue was that he just wasn't the right man for me 🤣 but I guess even the best of us make mistakes, so what can you do now? 😁
edit: According to this site, they link those pregnancy headaches and postpartum ones back to hormone shifts—like estrogen or, less commonly, oxytocin if you're breastfeeding. It might be worth a look; there’s some decent advice 🙂in here.
edit2: On the other hand, this source suggests it could potentially be a neurological issue, so maybe it's worth seeing a neurologist just to check things like intracranial pressure and stuff like that.
My husband couldn't even manage to wash a single dish while I was at the hospital giving birth, let alone now that I'm back home. So, according to the logic here, I'm the "homemaker," which apparently means I have to handle everything. And I guess taking care of a newborn isn't any trouble either, right? While the baby is sleeping, I'm supposedly meant to be doing his laundry and prepping meals—even though the food just sits on the stove rotting because he refuses to eat anything that isn't freshly made just for him. It’s not like I can grab a quick bite or even just sit down for a second, because first, I have to clear the entire kitchen just so he can use it. Give me a break! :2up:
amberorca2 said:Honey, I don't have any good news... 🙂
The doctor can't actually see a pregnancy. All they see are two distinct sacs—one larger, one smaller—and there’s a chance it could be an ectopic pregnancy 🙂 🙂🙂
I am just so incredibly heartbroken, I can't even find the right words to explain it 🙂 🙂 🙂 I'm sitting here typing this and tears are just streaming down my face onto the keyboard 🙂🙂🙂
Look, I’m not sure how much time has passed since your last period, but since you only just saw that positive line seven days ago, it probably isn't quite that far along yet. When I went to my OB-GYN for the first time at six weeks, they couldn't see anything on the ultrasound at all—they even mentioned the possibility of an ectopic pregnancy. Then, about nine days later, a little gestational sac finally appeared. If that isn't the case for you, I am truly sorry to hear it. But please, don't lose hope just yet—ovulation can be incredibly unpredictable and might be delayed significantly. If you aren't entirely sure about your timing, I’d suggest staying positive! Most likely, we’ll have all the answers at my next checkup, so I guess I'll just keep my fingers crossed until then!
Gerald Morgan4 said:I didn't write them; I already wrote them... As for that bolded part, honestly, there isn't much to say. Go look up mass psychology; maybe things will finally click for you. Power should exist solely to serve the interests of the common man, not the other way around. Sadly, that seems to be nothing more than a pipe dream.
My apologies, I meant to say I wrote it. Sure, we all know how things ought to be. But they aren't. I don't really need to Google anything; my point is simply that if things ever shifted toward what we're discussing, someone would step up to handle the job, and that's that. It’s just like how someone always steps up to perform a lethal injection on a prisoner—which I imagine isn't exactly a pleasant way to earn a living. But it gets done because that's the decision made. So, I suppose if a decision were made in the interest of the people, folks would eventually adjust to it and accept it as part of daily life, much like they've managed to adapt to everything else over time.
Gerald Morgan4 said:And what exactly makes up a society? A bunch of slaves who just pick a handful of leaders? And I guess those people are just incarnations of Svemoguceg, huh? They just magically know what’s best for us mere mortals? 🙄
Since you love bringing up Hitler, look at the facts: back in 1933, the Nazi Party, backed by Hic, won a majority vote... In March 1933, the German people elected 288 candidates from the Nazi Party, securing a parliamentary majority... I don't even need to explain how the rest unfolded... That same Hic, whom the German people helped rise to power, actually said right before the war ended that he wouldn't shed a single tear for the victims because they would, to quote him, "get what they deserve," and that he wouldn't feel guilty about it... Goebbels held that exact same attitude... At the end of the day, they didn't just stumble into power; someone had to choose them as the representative political party to rule Germany... By that logic, they aren't responsible for any of it... You got exactly what you voted for. 🙄
Where on earth do you live? I mean, it's pretty obvious people don't need to be an incarnation of the Almighty to understand what works for regular folks. Did you write the laws for yourself or for everyone else? Do people walk themselves straight into prison, war, or death, or is it other people making those calls? I think it's fair to say there are certain people chosen to make those big decisions, and frankly, most of them couldn't care less how they use that power.