Carol Barrett2 said:Honestly, I’m just over all of this—you, them, everyone in this thread—and man, did you really have to go on such a massive rant?
You haven't bored me at all; rather, my stomach has been giving me absolute hell, and I spent about six hours babysitting my sister's kids. I finally laid down to get some rest, but that "little break" stretched from two in the afternoon until almost six. Between the physical discomfort and her throwing off my entire sleep schedule, I am only just now able to respond.
Your writing is actually quite coherent, which leads me to believe that what you are experiencing isn't Paranoid Schizophrenia, but rather that non-specific version you mentioned earlier.
If I recall correctly, the Latin term for it is Schizophrenia simplex.
Carol Barrett2 said:Honestly, I felt like I was slipping into Paranoid Schizophrenia just by getting into an argument with the staff—I was terrified I’d lose something, though I won't go into detail. It’s all logged in their computer system, so apparently, according to some psychologist, I’ve officially "snapped" into paranoia. And look, I don't have hallucinations or anything like that; I never have.
I’ve had issues—or maybe I just had them—with my liver. It was damaged, but it’s recovering now, but it seems I'm intersex, so maybe my hormones are just haywire. I told the hospital staff about it. I figured I might be some kind of medical phenomenon or something.
I’m sick, though who knows why... it's not terminal or anything life-threatening, but I'm definitely feeling pretty rough because of all these different ailments.
Depression has hit me the hardest—maybe it's Bipolar Disorder—and I brought that up to the psychiatrist, along with my vision issues, since I’m visually impaired and deal with significant sight problems. And her response? Just, "What is that?"
She didn't even know what floaters were. When I mentioned seeing my own white blood cells, I can only imagine what kind of diagnosis she’d slap on me.
And you can't even get sessions with people like that here in the States. Not at all. You might find someone privately, but man, it costs. From what I can tell, 31 miles, an hour session is a fortune. Where am I supposed to get that kind of money?
Even if I could afford those sessions, how would I even talk to them? Being on these medications makes me feel... I don't know, numb? Like I can't express myself. Plus, when it comes to psychiatrists and psychologists, I just freeze up. My tongue gets tied and I can't tell them everything—the what, the how, all of it. Honestly, I wouldn't even know where to start, let alone when.
Jbn. It's all just trying to fight for some kind of right based on a diagnosis. But I'm not even fighting for it because of actual life struggles; it's more about dealing with the absolute disaster that is the bureaucracy here in America.
I am so sorry that they labeled you with sch. Did they at least inform you in a subtle and tactful manner? Or did you find out like I did—somewhere random, like at a crosswalk or a bus stop??? I truly hope you receive a more accurate diagnosis soon. You don't have to share it if you'd prefer not to.
Regarding the intersex thing... has that been confirmed by any blood work? Did they take your comment seriously at all, or was it just a case of, "Oh, he's just sch., what does he know?"
One theory regarding the onset of sch. is the idea of brain self-poisoning. Could it be that certain organs produce a substance toxic to the brain—not enough to kill you, but enough to trigger mental instability? If that were true, then several weekly sessions combined with the most exhaustive blood panels possible—specifically checking liver enzymes, pituitary hormones, thyroid levels, and sex hormones—would be a necessary starting point for an effective diagnosis. Plus, they should perform a full physical exam. If they find any physiological irregularities, then perhaps you really are intersex.
Then again, I don't know... to be perfectly honest, I find it hard to believe the intersex diagnosis. In my view, much of that is a social engineering construct that people latch onto today. However, if a patient holds one or two misconceptions about their condition, it certainly doesn't mean they are immediately schizophrenic, paranoid, or completely out of their mind.
Unless, of course, they cling to those ideas even after a thorough examination and hospitalization.
Carol Barrett2 said:It turns out Nakedness actually has Multiplusclusosa—they spent years misdiagnosing her as having Schizophrenia, at least from how I saw things with Njusic.
Oops, my mistake. My apologies, Nakedness. In that case, everything she wrote previously was simply a defense mechanism against her illness and part of the stage where one begins to accept their diagnosis.
Nakedness, please do not let the fact that they mislabeled you with Schizophrenia for all those years weigh on your heart. I once had a psychiatrist label me with "intellectual disability." Honestly, even translating the diagnosis feels unnecessary. Just as I developed a constant smile as a shield because I was bullied for being the weakest kid in my elementary school class, I found myself smiling again when I admitted to her that I had made a mistake and lost control. She misinterpreted my smile, assuming I wasn't even aware of what I had actually done.
Not even five or six female doctors would ever write down such a diagnosis.
She didn't even make an effort to directly tell me what the diagnosis was. I discovered it myself at a bus stop right across from the hospital, and I wept bitterly. She prescribed me Tegretol, which I took for a short while, but during our next meeting—after she finally removed that diagnosis—I told her I no longer wished to take it, as there was no longer any point.
That was how the doctor acted—someone who supposedly moooooooora know how to handle human emotions when delivering a heavy diagnosis to a patient. Someone who, after all, supposedly... studied specifically to understand the depths of the human soul.
Can you imagine if an oncologist, a cancer specialist, would write a diagnosis of cancer on a report but directly refuse to tell the patient, instead leaving them to face that reality alone at a bus stop or a subway station, just so they could suffer a nervous breakdown or a heart attack?????????????????????
And she didn't even establish that diagnosis for me until our third meeting. The first appointment serves merely as a way to introduce yourself—who you are, your education, your marital status, your parents, siblings, children, your job, and your current state of mind.
Technically speaking, the true evaluation doesn't even begin until the second visit. In fact, I would argue that it takes three or four sessions, lasting forty to sixty minutes each, for a doctor to compile what I would call a comprehensive patient history. Only by the fifth session can one truly begin some semblance of effective therapy.
In my case, to ensure there is no professional bias—meaning, so doctors don't just protect one another—my former psychiatrist should have received a formal written reprimand from the department head, and I should have been notified of it. To leave a person to struggle with a shocking diagnosis at a bus stop... it isn't about the diagnosis itself. The diagnosis was brief; it was about the lack of basic human decency!
In Nakedness's case, she should at least receive some form of symbolic compensation.
Haldol, I am truly sorry that you aren't eligible for disability benefits.
Could it be that diagnosing patients through the Kirlijanov effect—analyzing aura photographs, which remains a forbidden technology—would yield a far more precise diagnosis? Is it perhaps prohibited because it subjects the patient to high electrical voltage (and presumably high frequencies, though I cannot be certain of the latter)?
Yet, we do not forbid X-rays, which expose patients to radiation, nor do we ban CT scans that subject the body to barium slurry.
Ultimately, I suspect that analyzing aura photography would require doctors to cultivate a certain level of intuition, but since not all psychiatrists are introverts, how can this be achieved? Intuition cannot be mastered simply by reading books; rather, it must be developed through meditation. For instance, there is a Buddhist meditative practice that supposedly fosters faster spiritual growth than reciting endless prayers: one simply maintains awareness of the air entering the nostrils, feeling it touch every tiny hair inside, and observing how it brushes the area between the nose and the lip upon exiting. The core objective is to attain self-realization and understand your inner world, which serves as the precursor to God-knowledge. Some of their monks will spend hours upon hours engaged solely in this single exercise.
In any case, those living with Schizophrenia are generally advised against meditating, given that they are already prone to excessive passivity. Please, let this observation not trigger any thoughts regarding conspiracies, voices, thought broadcasting, or surveillance.
@Nakedness... it appears to me that your condition merely resembles Schizophrenia on the surface. Based on your recent posts, it is evident that you have made significant progress. If my understanding is correct—and please do correct me if I am mistaken—perhaps a specific chamber or a small portion of your brain is malfunctioning, causing what one might call a "short circuit."
Harold Anderson3 said:Yeah, I hear you, and I completely get where you're coming from. Physical disabilities are incredibly tough to navigate. By the way, I actually had no idea you were dealing with such significant vision issues yourself. 😢 As for me, I don't really have a specific reason to feel depressed, yet I still struggle with it. It’s that endogenous kind of depression—you know, the type that hits you without any obvious external cause. I'm doing alright at the moment, though. Nothing has really changed since yesterday or the day before, other than the fact that I finally managed to get some decent rest.
Is it not possible that mental health struggles are even more taxing? There was a moment once when, driven by external circumstances, I felt such profound despair that I simply wanted everything to end; I took a bit too much apaurin to help me sleep and drifted off. That feeling only lasted for one evening, but imagine if I had been forced to endure such a state for two days, five days, or who knows how long?
Yet, physical impairments are equally devastating. The last time I was actually able to work was during those four months spanning late 2011 and early 2012.
It is truly heartbreaking that I cannot secure even a little bit of supplemental income through occasional part-time gigs, perhaps something like $500, just to make life a slightly more manageable existence.
Harold Anderson3 said:I actually could have applied for disability, but as long as I’m physically able to work, I intend to. It’s a struggle, I won't deny that, but I really don't want to be labeled as disabled while I'm still this young. Since I'm renting an apartment in Washington, D.C., I definitely couldn't survive on minimum wage alone. My monthly take-home pay is roughly $3,200. The job is physically manageable—nothing hurts, per se—but the lack of sleep when I'm out in the field is tough. The summer heat wears me down, and the winter cold is brutal. Then I head back to Washington, D.C. for the weekend to recharge before heading back out for another five days on the road, and that's been my life for about a year now. I spend quite a bit on food while traveling, plus rent, and I send some money home to help my mom who lives alone, but I still manage to save a little bit at the end of the month.
I wouldn't opt for disability either, though one has to wonder why it seems like only one in every hundred or fifty blind or visually impaired individuals actually finds employment.
It truly warms my heart to see that, despite everything you are battling, you are still able to support your mother.
Is there any way for those living with schizophrenia to qualify for disability benefits $500 or receive caregiver assistance, similar to what we in the blind and visually impaired community can access?
I realize we are talking about two fundamentally different medical categories. However, I cannot help but wonder—given that many individuals struggling with schizophrenia tend to be socially withdrawn and face such intense stigma—that most of you who are working are likely stuck at minimum wage or just slightly above it.
When you are scraping by on a meager salary, wouldn't even a modest monthly stipend for home care assistance, perhaps totaling around $167, make a world of difference?
It seems to me that securing such support is incredibly difficult because the onset of the condition typically doesn't occur before age eighteen, which is a critical requirement for eligibility.
I have discovered some educational videos regarding rectal and anal examinations, covering topics that I find quite fascinating.
Anoscopy (an examination of the anal canal and any growths located on or within it)
High-resolution anoscopy (anoscopy featuring high-definition imagery) utilizing an anoscope linked directly to a monitor that magnifies the view.
A comprehensive look at rectal and anal examinations via anoscopy. This includes the specialized equipment used, the patient's positioning during the procedure, the pre-exam consultation, clinical indications, contraindications, and a thorough explanation of the intergluteal cleft, the anal region, and—as I perceive it—the area extending from the anus toward the pelvic bone.
The most captivating segments of this video occur from 6:11 to 7:40, followed by the portion from 8:49 to 9:46.
Nicholas Wells74 said:I have an appointment scheduled at Johns Hopkins Hospital in about a month to see a proctologist regarding some hemorrhoid issues.
When I was recently visiting an endocrinologist at that same hospital, I realized just how incredibly complicated the process is; you have to register with a nurse first, then track down someone to stamp your travel authorization, and only after all that can you actually see the specialist who is supposed to sign off on your paperwork.
Now, considering the sheer scale of such a massive medical center, does anyone realize how much time is wasted just walking from the registration desk to the authorization office, only to trek all the way back to the specialist's room? It can take an absolute eternity, especially if you struggle with your vision.
So, I have a few questions. 1. Where exactly is the proctology clinic located? 2. Which specific window should I go to for registration for the proctologist... which building and on which floor? 3. Where am I supposed to get my travel authorization stamped—is it in the green building where they had me for the endocrinologist, or somewhere else entirely?
I managed to find out that initial proctology exams are held in the white building, which sits right next to the green building, specifically on the second floor. From what I gathered, all the outpatient clinics in that white building (at least the abdominal surgery ones) are located on that same floor. The number I called to confirm this was 01/23-88-021. Honestly, it seems easiest to get any actual information if you call after 4:00 PM.
Anyway, I truly hope this information proves helpful to anyone else facing the same situation.
Regarding the proctologist, at least for those visiting Johns Hopkins Hospital, your primary care physician can handle the referral for you, so there is no need to attempt to schedule it yourself or try emailing or faxing over a referral.
I have an appointment scheduled at Johns Hopkins Hospital in one month to see a proctologist regarding some hemorrhoid issues.
Not too long ago, I visited an endocrinologist at that same facility, and I must ask, does anyone else find their administrative process unnecessarily labyrinthine? One is expected to check in with a nurse, then navigate the halls just to locate the office for travel authorization stamps, and only then can you finally present yourself to the specialist who is required to validate your paperwork.
In a medical complex as massive as this one, the constant trekking from the registration desk to the stamping station, only to head back to the specialist's office, can feel incredibly exhausting—especially for someone dealing with visual impairments.
Therefore, I find myself seeking some guidance through a few questions. 1. Where exactly is the proctology clinic located? 2. Which specific registration desk should I visit for the proctologist, and in which building or on which floor can I be found? 3. Where is the designated area to have my travel authorization stamped—should I head to the green building where the endocrinology department is situated, or is it elsewhere?
I have an appointment scheduled in a month at the Mayo Clinic to see a proctologist regarding some hemorrhoid issues. This will be my first time visiting their facility.
I’ve been trying to search Google for any information on proctologists or hemorrhoids specifically listed on the official Mayo Clinic website, but I can find almost nothing useful. When I type in "hemorrhoids," I get this, when I search for "anus" I get this, and when I look up "proctologist," I am presented with this.
How am I supposed to learn anything? How can I find out what medical science actually says about these topics, whether I need to fast before the exam, if I should take a stronger laxative the day before, or if they provide one once I arrive? Furthermore, does anyone know which building the clinic is located in? Navigating those endless corridors can be a total nightmare. It often happens that you check in at one window for a specialist you've seen before, only to realize the next window is miles away; you get your paperwork stamped, and then you face a grueling trek through a massive maze of hallways just to reach the doctor's office—and to make matters worse, the specialist might have moved! They could have been in the main white building, but now they've relocated to the white wing attached to the green building.
As luck would have it, my primary care physician referred me today, and I managed to secure an appointment much faster than I originally anticipated.
Where can I actually find more reliable information? Am I really forced to dig through every single post from the very beginning of this thread?
Rebecca Rivera3, I am truly heartened to hear that you have made such a wonderful recovery. It would be an absolute triumph if you were also able to secure a fulfilling career with a salary that truly honors your hard work and dedication.
Seriously though, if you take a look at any other field of medicine and compare how they handle diagnostics and their overall clinical methodology...
It’s pretty frustrating. Because of a lack of actual expertise and everyone just chasing a quick buck, things that should be helping people are actually doing more harm than good today.
I believe I am going to leave my current psychiatrist and attempt to return to a doctor I didn't initially choose to see. Back then, she was quite young and overwhelmed with too many patients, so I was transferred to another young specialist without my consent or even being asked. However, the practitioner I am seeing now has dedicated herself entirely to my case. It feels as though she is applying some diluted version of cognitive behavioral therapy, or perhaps a hybrid approach that she deems appropriate for my immediate needs.
I truly wanted to tell her that I am leaving and explain the reason for my departure, but I simply lacked the strength and the courage to say it to her face. Besides, would she even truly absorb it? Still, I feel quite foolish and somewhat cowardly for slipping away without offering an explanation. If only she could adjust her methods to better serve future patients similar to myself—specifically those diagnosed with anxiety and depressive disorders. Though, in my own estimation, I don't even suffer from depression; it seems that labeling it simply as an anxiety disorder wouldn't be considered sufficient. I cannot fathom why it must be so, when that would be a much more precise description of my actual condition.
Laura Castillo6 said:The truth is, they just don't get it.
Looking at the arguments > makes in his writings, it’s pretty easy to see why they're so lost. > goes even further, calling psychiatry a pseudoscience and arguing that psychiatrists shouldn't even be considered medical doctors.
Personally, I think for severe mental illnesses, you definitely need psychiatry and a psychiatrist. I'd absolutely include > in that category. But running to a psychiatrist for every little thing that crosses your mind? To me, that's nonsense. It's a waste of time for the patients, and it leads to psychiatrists taking on everyone as a patient, which opens the door to corruption, overprescribing meds for things they aren't needed for, and all sorts of other issues.
Perhaps my own struggle stems from the fact that if I am to consult a counselor or a mental health professional, I would much prefer a psychologist over a psychiatrist. I visited a clinical psychologist twice, during which she asked me to complete a questionnaire; following our sessions, she informed me that she perceived too much pathology in me, concluding that I required a psychiatrist rather than her services.
The questions were quite peculiar: "Do you fear authority figures?" "Do you lose control of your bodily functions in the presence of authority?" And among those inquiries was something along the lines of, "Do you believe it is natural for women to manage the household?" And I, like a fool, checked "YES." I suspect that by doing so, I earned a label suggesting my condition is too pathological for a psychologist and necessitates a psychiatrist instead.
It is a profound shame, for I found those two sessions quite pleasant, and I had intended to continue seeing her long-term, provided she would have me, especially since our sessions lasted forty to sixty minutes.
My decision to check "YES" feels akin to answering "NO" to a question about the existence of witches during an Inquisition trial. The difference, of course, is that the punishment isn't being burned at the stake or facing excommunication, but rather being branded with a label that dictates I must see a psychiatrist instead of a psychologist.
Harold Anderson3 said:Yeah, I'm working, though I suppose the pay could be a little better; then again, maybe I should probably be more careful with my budget since I tend to blow too much money on things I don't really need.
Is it not possible that those dealing with chronic conditions—whether mental or physical—are actually less inclined to waste money on frivolous trifles?
Perhaps they only spend on things they genuinely believe might aid their recovery. And honestly, isn't that just part of life? You try something out, hoping it offers even a modicum of relief, only to see if it truly works. Ultimately, so much of this comes down to more than just scrolling through medical forums; it requires a bit of personal experimentation.
So, I am not entirely certain... perhaps you are worrying far too much about what you have already spent.
The most vital thing is to avoid squandering your time. No one can truly know how much time they have left, and if there is any resource that is truly irreplaceable, it is time wasted in vain.
You can earn money over and over again, only to lose it all. You can become a millionaire, fall into poverty, and then climb back to wealth once more. But time? Time is the one thing no one can ever get back.
Ever since you and a few other key players left, this entire discussion has completely lost its spark.
I truly hope you’re staying busy with steady work, and that your paycheck arrives on time and reflects the actual value of everything you do.
A friend of mine living with schizophrenia receives a monthly injection of Depakote.
P. S. That figure in your profile picture looks incredibly familiar to me, almost as if he were a famous painter. If you don't mind my asking, who is he?
Despite their extensive education, their direct work with people, and their vast experience, psychiatrists can often turn out to be incredibly egotistical individuals driven by a thirst for power; they cling to the notion that their recollection of your session is the only absolute truth, and when you attempt to question why they said or did a specific thing during a previous appointment, the mere act of seeking clarity can inflict profound emotional pain.
I find myself unable to stop ruminating on the words and actions of my ego-driven therapist from our last session, and I am convinced that attempting to seek any explanation for her behavior regarding our recent encounters will only serve to deepen my suffering. Therefore, I believe the most prudent course of action is to sever ties with her without offering any explanation whatsoever.
Furthermore, when one finds oneself expecting a meaningful dialogue with such an egoist—someone whose function is paramount in my life and whose conversation is vital—one might consider secretly recording the interaction and creating a transcription, which could then be password-protected; thus, when I return to them with a question and they claim they never uttered certain words, I could simply present a large-print transcript to them so they may read it easily and immediately, thereby preventing them from hiding behind the excuse of "context."
It sounds Orwellian, does it not, but is it not also utterly terrifying? And precisely because it feels so daunting, I never developed the habit of secretly recording conversations, and now, in light of these circumstances, I feel a deep sense of regret for lacking that precaution.
And yet, psychiatrists still have the audacity to feel victimized, sorrowful, or indignant when they observe a patient cycling through several different doctors over the course of many years.
Grace Doyle2 said:If she's having trouble, maybe she should try Opera? It's way faster than Google.
I personally use Opera and even suggested making the switch, but she was quite adamant about staying put. She ended up installing Mozilla just to have a backup ready.
The issue seems to have resolved itself entirely without any intervention. For the time being, everything appears to be functioning perfectly fine for her.
Is it not far better to be at the bottom of the ladder in a major metropolis than to be at the top of one in some rural hamlet? Given the question posed in the opening post, I would certainly opt for a spacious home on the outskirts of New York City—or any significant American urban center—rather than being cramped in a tiny apartment near the downtown core where my children might overhear every intimate moment between my wife and me.
The absolute ideal existence would be residing in a charming university town of perhaps a few tens of thousands of people, a place boasting its own theaters and cultural venues, where one can afford a house just on the edge of town. Imagine having arable land within easy reach; if you desire to tend to your garden, you could simply pedal there on a bicycle. If you seek a concert or a play, the same applies. Since it isn't a sprawling megalopolis, the traffic remains negligible, rendering a car entirely unnecessary—unless, of course, your professional life requires you to split your time between that town and somewhere much further afield.
Alas, such a scenario seems attainable only in other nations. We simply don't have anything quite like Harvard or Cambridge here.