Posts by Frank Flores63

Everyone who usually travels from one city to another will still be doing it; the only difference now is that we're all going to end up stabbing each other in the back over these permits. I mean, look, if this is just some scheme to create more bureaucratic bloat and get people cushy jobs in the local Municipalities and cities, then fine, go for it.

This whole situation just goes to show how unnecessary these massive municipalities and cities really are. It’s pretty obvious that all those job openings—mayors, deputy mayors, department heads, and so on—are nothing more than blatant political cronyism. It’s completely ineffective when you actually need a real response to a crisis, rather than just a way to pad out their circles with loyalists before an election.
It might be one thing in Washington, D.C., or other major metropolitan areas, but for those of us living in smaller towns, we’re basically left high and dry.

hollowbison80 said:This is probably the single most nonsensical policy ever implemented in this country’s history. During wartime, you could travel from San Diego to Washington, D.C., without a second thought, yet now we can't even move from one municipality to the next. What’s truly absurd is how calmly people have just accepted this. The whole point of the measure is to stop the spread of the virus, but the infection is already widespread across all of America?! Honestly, I’m at a loss as to who exactly is being considered "irrational" here. They simply don't dare offend their most powerful voting bloc—the retirees—so they won't implement a stay-at-home order for anyone over 65, which would be the most logical and sensible move in this situation.

👍

It’s just incredibly stupid. Honestly, if there were an Olympics for pure stupidity, this would take the gold medal without even breaking a sweat.

In theory, this measure sounds decent enough, but when you actually look at how it works in practice, it’s pretty much a total failure.
Yesterday morning, I filled out the form on my mom's behalf via her local municipality's website just so she could travel to the nearby City 6.2 miles where about 90% of the population ends up anyway—you know, for the bank, groceries, work, and all that. Now I'm just sitting here waiting for them to send back that famous verified permit, but at this rate, I think we'll be waiting a long time.
This whole thing needs to be scrapped immediately in favor of something actually intelligent.

Patrick Williams8 said:"Forty is a tough age: you're still young enough to have desires, but old enough to realize how hard they are to fulfill."

I still find myself wanting female friends, even though I've never quite managed to build a truly close bond with another woman in my life.

I just don't get it. I meet people through various hobbies, mutual friends, or at work... and then, after a few casual coffees, they just start freezing me out. Some do it openly; others are more subtle about it.

Some women go as far as harboring such resentment that they spread ridiculous rumors about me behind my back.

Is it possible that I’m offending these women without even realizing it? Am I doing something that drives them away? Or perhaps I'm failing to do something expected of me that I simply haven't picked up on? I enter every relationship with total sincerity—open heart, no hidden agendas.

I have a daughter, and this whole situation feels even more depressing because of her. She has a mother without any girlfriends... it's sad. How am I supposed to teach her social skills when I can't even find the opportunity to practice them myself?

Communicating with men has never been an issue for me. I have great guy friends; their company is easy and enjoyable.

I was never particularly physically attractive, so could that be part of it? I've always noticed that best friends tend to look somewhat similar. Maybe that's why I never found my "tribe"?

It might be that you're trying to build friendships with the wrong crowd—people you admire or view as role models, but who simply aren't compatible with your actual personality.
What's your criteria when picking female friends? While similarities matter, at this stage of adulthood, physical appearance isn't the key; what really counts is having a similar temperament, shared values, and matching character.

Donna Doyle2 said:But I really have to wonder, what kind of women would actually be left standing after a move like that? Maybe just some girls who are way too drunk 🤔
or maybe just professionals providing services for a fee.

🤣

And maybe those hardcore political activists passed out at an afterparty while their veins are still pumping a nasty cocktail of MDMA and baking soda.

If I’m looking for some guidance on which direction to take my life, or if I need someone to help untangle the mental fog I find myself in, I go see my therapist, have a deep conversation, and—well, I pay them.
If my goal is to look better or just feel more comfortable in my own skin, I make an appointment with my dermatologist to get some Botox or maybe load up on dermal fillers—and again, there's a bill at the end.
If I want to mend things with my niece and actually build a real bond, I have to be kind to her, spend quality time together, take her out for ice cream, hit up an amusement park or a haunted house, and buy her those trendy jeans or a new iPhone. So, once more, I need money.
Even if I just want to pack it all in, head to the airport, and disappear for a few days, I still need the cash for flights, hotels, and food.
Even a simple trip to a nearby state park to listen to the birds chirping requires gas and a car, which, predictably, costs money.
My dog brings me so much joy, but that dog needs food, medical care, and regular checkups at the vet, all of which require payment.
What can I even say? Money is inextricably linked to almost everything that makes me happy. It’s woven into the very fabric of a fulfilling life, and honestly, trying to fight against that reality seems completely pointless.

@Douglas Rogers5
Next time you find yourself facing a similar dilemma, I suggest you listen to this little tune 🎉

To be perfectly honest, if I could somehow stumble upon a career path that ignited my passion quite like yours does—and one that actually paid out a decent salary to boot—I suppose I might also consider throwing caution to the wind and dedicating myself entirely to it. Everything in this life is temporary, I guess, but financial independence and the genuine sense of freedom that comes from it... that is something that truly lasts.

Samuel Sanders6 said:I’ll try to keep this brief, and hopefully, I won't wander too far off track. I’m avoiding the Parenting subforum because I’m more interested in hearing from the younger crowd—those of you who might actually be considering starting a family in a few years.

This is a global question, though I suspect my own perspective is heavily colored by what we're seeing here in the States.

So, here it is: The big one. Do you actually want to bring one, two, three, or more children into this increasingly brutal world?

Now, don't get me wrong—I'm not claiming things were perfect in the past and everything is falling apart now. But if you look at the macro trends, we seem to be heading in a downward direction. Human connection is fraying, and the gap between the boss and the worker is widening; projections suggest we'll see even more billionaires and even more people living paycheck to paycheck.

We move from the grueling grind of modern education and those empty promises of upward mobility straight into a daily struggle just to stay afloat. Eventually, you find yourself asking why you're even working in the first place. Is it just to survive?

I think I’ve made my point. :P

Maybe someone beat me to the punch here, but if we’re looking at the actual facts, we are living better today than at any other point in history—and that’s not even counting all those fairy tales like Atlantis or the Garden of Eden. Beyond that, there's a practical reality we have to face: all we truly possess is the present moment. The past is gone and the future is out of our reach, so I suppose any moves we want to make have to be measured against where we stand right now.

How are you doing these days? If you had the chance to do it all over again, would you opt for having two or three kids—maybe even more? Would you be putting your money into Berkshire Hathaway stocks right now? Would you just quit your job, walk away from everything, and finally launch your own business? Or perhaps you’d sell off every single thing you own just to buy a little house tucked away in the Rocky Mountains, where you could sit back and watch the local eccentrics go about their day? Would you actually get off the couch, head out for a stroll through town, and grab a glass of wine—even if it meant dealing with a massive hangover later? My god, the heartburn alone...

I actually sat down with my primary care physician and his nurse to ask if I should bother getting the flu shot this year, and they both told me straight up: don't do it.
They didn't really offer much of a concrete argument to back up their stance, though.
Typically, I end up stuck in bed twice a year dealing with some viral bug that drags on for about seven days, but I usually only take five days off from work; after that, I just try to manage the symptoms as they come.

I make a point of avoiding external sources of horror and frustration whenever humanly possible—things like the news, nightly talk shows, soap operas, or just generally exhausting people. Anything that might disturb my peace, I steer clear of with the kind of frantic enthusiasm you'd expect from a Navajo warrior right after taking a shot of moonshine.

I suppose I would differentiate between those who force a smile just to mask their own deep-seated insecurities and lack of substance—people who inevitably project a sense of falseness—and those who possess true positivity. These are the seasoned warriors of life, people who have weathered enough storms to realize that everything is relative, and so, when given the choice, they consciously opt for optimism.
The kind of positivity I actually respect is this quiet, centered calm that seems to radiate from the very core of their being; it isn't loud or pushy, it’s almost modest, yet it remains incredibly firm and unshakable.
On the flip side, there are plenty of fake, perpetually grumpy types who seem to think being cynical makes them look edgy or cool. Personally, I find them exhausting.
Haha, if I'm being honest, I probably find most people exhausting, simply because there are so few truly stable, composed, and experienced individuals out there who don't spend every waking moment trapped in endless cycles of self-analysis.

Paul Bennett3 said:@Bradley Ortiz2 I agree that having a healthy dose of self-criticism is actually a sign of maturity. It’s not about being insecure; it's about being a grown-up who actually reflects on their own actions and reactions instead of just pointing fingers at everyone else's flaws. We aren't the only ones making mistakes here—we're all human.
@CarpeDiem True. Most people hate confrontation and try to dodge it. As you get older, you realize how much unnecessary stress and anxiety a fight brings, even if you're 100% in the right. You might win the argument, but then you spend the next week or two feeling uneasy because things are awkward... Personally, I avoid conflict too, unless someone really pushes my buttons or acts blatantly disrespectful because they're taking out their own frustrations on me. Once I hit my limit, I'm done—doesn't matter if it's my boss, a coworker, or whoever. You have to protect your dignity. If you let everyone walk all over you, people start thinking you're a pushover or just plain stupid. And you aren't; you just don't feel the need to compete, act fake, or constantly try to prove you're the smartest person in the room, which seems to be a common thing among women. Honestly, why bother fighting with some idiot who means nothing to my life? Sometimes you just have to show them there's another side to you. I used to be much more combative and aggressive when I was younger, but now I'm way more laid back... except when my hormones kick in.🤣

I guess I spent quite some time just letting everyone walk all over me, mostly because I thought keeping the peace was the only way to maintain my mental sanity. But honestly? I’ve come to realize that being a pushover is nothing more than a complete waste of energy. I'm done playing nice for people who don't deserve it—now, I'm ready to stand my ground and give them exactly what they get. 😉

Personally, I find the energy radiating from those perpetual cheerleaders—those constant little liars—to be incredibly grating. It’s not because their vibe is actually cheerful, or genuinely happy, or gentle in that way where it spills over and lifts everyone else up in a circle of true positivity. No, it's just that I haven't experienced anything remotely like that in a very, very long time.
The issue with these quasi-joyful types is that I have this gut feeling they are hiding something sinister behind a facade of forced happiness. To me, that cheerfulness feels like nothing more than a cheap plastic raincoat worn to cover up all sorts of rotting fears underneath. In reality, they are just nervous, insecure, broken, and utterly shameless participants in an endless carnival where nobody ever takes off their mask, even after midnight.
Do they bother me? Well, to put it mildly, I despise them. 🍿

casualtiger2 said:Back when I was a student, I lived out in Chicago—about a thirty-minute ride from downtown New York City.
I actually lucked out because my bus stop was the very first one on the line, so I always had a seat to myself—perfect for meditating.
One morning, right after I’d settled into my meditation, this massive double-decker bus—one of those huge ones meant for maybe 120 people—packed to the gills by the second or third stop. (I don't know what transit is like in other cities, but back then, New York City's public transport was a total disaster, and honestly, still is.)
It felt completely normal at first, even when I felt someone's thigh pressing against my arm, right at bicep level. As the ride wound down, the bus started thinning out, but that sensation wouldn't budge. When I finally opened my eyes, I realized it was coming from this stunning girl—who, I assume, was sitting next to her boyfriend.
The weird part? The bus was basically empty by then; there were plenty of open seats everywhere.
It wasn't until I actually stood up to get off that she finally moved away.
Sadly, I didn't get the chance to meet her and ask why that happened or how it felt on her end, so there's no significant scientific report to follow.
(And yeah, the statistics aren't exactly on my side here.)

Anyway, I'm sure you're familiar with that feeling of someone invading your "personal bubble," whether you're on a crowded bus or just hanging out privately.
Does this phenomenon actually exist, and if it does, how would modern biology, sociology, or psychology explain it?
At first glance, when I Googled "personal bubble," I mostly just got hit with French websites discussing Zones and Distances.
What they label as "the intimate zone" (about 15–50 cm) actually seems like a pretty spot-on description of the etheric body's zone.

Have you ever noticed how being near certain people just feels *good*, while others leave you feeling drained, anxious, annoyed, or even oddly upbeat—even without a single word being exchanged?
Is there a real phenomenon here, and is there a scientific way to explain it?

Well, yes, of course I have noticed that. It's something I've been picking up on for quite a long time now. 🙂
Deida writes about people who essentially "cool" you down versus those who "warm" you up, based on the quality of their energy. But I am fairly certain there are many more subcategories than that. This phenomenon certainly exists, though I suppose the real question is how much it has actually been explored within mainstream scientific circles.
Something very similar to what you described happened to me too! It’s one of those sensations that really sticks with you, isn't it? 🙂

fadedrider17 said:Exactly... that’s precisely what I just did—I put it all on hold and stopped giving that person even a single thought.
But let me ask you this: how are you supposed to deal with those people who constantly promise they'll be the first to reach out once things settle down—you know, after the busy season passes, or once their workload lightens up—only to vanish into thin air and never contact you again?

Trust me, there is absolutely no point in trying to "handle" them or take a specific stance. It’s basically like casting pearls before swine (that's a famous saying from Jesus Christ. I'm mentioning the source because the last time I wrote that, some idiot accused me of calling him a pig).
If those people actually cared, if they were emotionally invested or even possessed a shred of empathy regarding how their excuses make you feel, they would have actually made an effort. They would have followed through on that much-discussed coffee date, which serves as a small but vital link in the chain of any meaningful relationship.

So, don't waste another single second of your precious time, and don't burn a single milligram of your brainpower on them. Shift your focus immediately to the people who actually value you. If you don't have anyone like that in your life right now, then focus your energy on making new connections.

fadedrider17 said:I run into this same nonsense day in and day out. I actually confronted one person directly about why they never have any time, and their excuse was that they come home from work completely wiped out—so there's just no energy left for anything else. That is total bullshit. This person doesn't even work weekends, for crying out loud. Look, at least once a month, you MUST carve out an hour for someone who actually matters to you. Everyone uses their "exhausting job" as a convenient shield... but the absolute worst ones are those who hide behind the "my kids and family come first" excuse.
There is a palpable sense of alienation everywhere lately.

I hear where you're coming from, and I get the frustration. Still, I believe you have to put some effort into a relationship—even if that just means grabbing a coffee once a month—but there has to be a guarantee that the meeting will actually happen. That small amount of time provides much-needed perspective for the connection. It’s honestly pathetic when only one side keeps trying to initiate plans, only to be shut down with excuses about being too busy or too tired. If those excuses keep piling up without any actual interaction happening, then the friendship has lost its purpose. You really need to move on and just write off anyone who refuses to make time.

Richard Wells said:You’re talking about wasted time. And yeah, you're right—plenty of people feel that way about their relationships.

But honestly, it feels like we're actually talking about the folks who just don't have any time for anyone. Period. No matter how they try to frame "hanging out."

Could there be a connection there? I mean, why on earth would someone claim they don't have the time for a relationship that actually brings them value? The whole "I don't have time" excuse is incredibly ambiguous, if you ask me. I think I already laid out my full perspective on this in my previous post above. 🙂

Roger Scott17 said:I don't get why everyone is so shocked by this.
As people get older, they just stop hanging out as much—it’s nothing personal, they just don't feel the need to broadcast their business to the world anymore. If they do run into someone they know, it’s usually just a quick "Hey, how's it going?" before moving on with their day.
Real friends? Man, those are hard to find, and if you actually have one, hold onto them tight. For me, a true friend is someone I can vent to about my entire private life, knowing—without a shadow of a doubt—that everything stays between us. Are there people like that out there? Honestly, hardly anyone. Personally, I've never been the type to go digging into other people's drama anyway. And hey, if you're bored and looking for some tea, just come hang out and read the threads here 😁
. Most of my time goes to my family and relatives—the people I actually care about, who I can tell absolutely anything to, knowing they'll always have my back (and I'll have theirs).
With neighbors, it’s mostly just polite small talk about the weather or whatever.
It’s just how things are these days, I guess. We've got the internet, so we can look up literally anything we want. We don't really need to go asking people for info anymore. Google knows everything 😁

I completely agree with this post. I don't have time for certain people either; for others, I do, but I have my own priorities to manage.
I put myself first, and I balance everything else around that. Does it sound selfish? Perhaps, but at least I don't fill my life with low-quality people.
For a while, I used the "I don't have time" excuse too, but honestly, that was just a way to avoid hanging out with people who didn't resonate with me. Does that sound cowardly? Maybe, but I'd rather have peace than subject myself to a multi-hour debate with someone who doesn't even matter to me.
I don't really have any particular need to vent about my life over coffee with random people. If I grab coffee with coworkers, it happens during a work break, and even then, it doesn't always happen.
I have one childhood friend who decided to pull back from society entirely; she lives a very routine, quiet life without the constant coffee dates or social outings. But when we do see each other, our coffee dates last three hours. I respect her choice and her lifestyle.
Then I have another friend who has kids, a cat, a dog, a husband, and is running her own business, and we manage to see each other once a week. That is more than enough!
But her version of "not having time" comes with plenty of excuses. For me, personally, when I am neck-deep in work and pulled in a dozen different directions, I don't have a single atom of energy left to waste on superficial coffees or casual hangouts.
A third friend is very much like me: she hates committing to plans in advance. We've known each other for over 12 years and we practically breathe as one. We spend our time working on joint projects, attending book presentations, or going on occasional dinners and trips. I can't even remember the last time we sat down just to gossip about everything under the sun.
My conclusion is this: I make time for the right people. Maybe twice a year if nothing else comes up, but it will be quality time. If I had to commit to a coffee date every single day... well, I think I'd move to a deserted island.