Posts by ironjackal20

Roger Grant84 said:That used to drive me crazy during my pregnancy too. Even now that I've had my little one, it's one of those pieces of advice I constantly think about giving to new moms, though I usually bite my tongue. 🤣 What we actually mean is—no matter how much sleep you manage to grab right now, things are only going to get more intense later. 😂
For instance, right now, even if you can't sleep, you can at least lounge around, watch Netflix, snack, or just wander to the bathroom whenever you want. Once that tiny baby arrives... none of that is an option. We aren't telling you to "bank" sleep; we're trying to say enjoy the freedom of being able to hit the restroom or eat a snack whenever you feel like it while you still can. 😁

I basically slept through almost my entire pregnancy. To put it simply, I finished all my baby shopping in a single three-hour trip, watched movies, read books, meditated, and spent endless hours on forums. My brain was totally idle.
When I gave birth, my baby wasn't right next to me because they were in the NICU, so I actually managed to get about 11 days of solid sleep. No one understood how I could sleep so well while babies in the maternity ward were crying day and night. I was honestly just praying my little one wouldn't be like that when we finally got home.

Once we got home, my husband took over for the first month. I kept sleeping for that whole month while he handled everything with the baby, bringing him to me only for feedings. Most of the time, the baby stayed right next to me in bed and was such a dream.

Looking back, it definitely feels like I slept enough to last a lifetime. There's no more catching up to do. 😂

I am truly glad I listened to my body and slept as much as I did. It's something I'll remember forever. 😍

Dana Martin87 said:Several doctors I've talked to mentioned that breastfeeding for 4-6 months is ideal if possible, because that's when the milk is packed with nutrients. After that, the nutritional value drops off, and women nursing toddlers are mostly just using it as a way to soothe the kid rather than providing essential nutrition.
And no, I don't find it perverse to nurse a 6, 8, or 10-month-old... As long as the child sees it strictly as food and not a toy. I know women whose kids intentionally bite them just to get a reaction, treating it like a game. At that point, there isn't really much room left for nursing.
I also know a woman who nursed her little one until they were two. The kid is four now, and while she ran out of milk ages ago, he still won't fall asleep without holding onto her breast. Even when we're out in public and he gets fussy, he'll just reach into her neckline to calm down. It reminds me of the Mad Queen from Game of Thrones nursing her six-year-old.

Honestly, it doesn't hurt my feelings who chooses to nurse or how long they do it, but I refuse to have other women push long-term breastfeeding on me as if it's an obligation. Some people think they're doing their child a favor by keeping them on the breast until they're two or three, but in my view, that's bad for a child's psychological development and just raises a spoiled brat.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but nobody should force it on anyone else. Someone might think I don't love my child because I won't let them nurse after about 6 months, but I think women who nurse for longer are often doing it more for themselves than the baby. They get hooked on being the center of their child's universe and don't want to give up that feeling. That's how you end up with thirty-year-olds who are still clinging to their mother's apron strings. That's just my take, though; I usually keep these thoughts to myself instead of lecturing acquaintances who choose long-term nursing. Likewise, I expect no one to lecture me about long-term nursing as if it's a requirement for loving my kid.

Right now, what's really getting on my nerves is having to go in for fetal monitoring every other morning and wasting 2 or 3 hours sitting in the waiting room 😢.

I think you shouldn't even bother trying to breastfeed if that's how you feel; there's really no point in having that kind of attitude.
I truly believe it's neither polite nor civilized to comment this way. This is a public forum, and you are definitely insulting women who are working hard to nurse their children for a long time. You should consider how much weight your words actually carry.

rustynomad12 said:...I didn't get lost, I'm just doing my homework... and yeah, you caught me, I have absolutely no clue what I'm talking about... but honestly? Maybe I actually know more than people who act out of pure fear, total confusion about their surroundings, zero self-confidence, or just years of soaking up misinformation—they listen to literally anyone and everything... there's really no need for the sarcasm (classic forum vibes, especially on sites like this)... and I definitely wasn't insulting anyone or pointing fingers at anyone. Yeah, I'm going to ask my mom for advice because she seems like the most level-headed person on the planet and isn't totally weighed down by questions like, "Should I breastfeed or not?", "Should I follow pro-natalist trends?", or "Should I let some random stranger touch my belly?"... sorry if those concerns seem misplaced to you. For me, all three answers are a hard NO. I'm old enough to know what I'm talking about and how I want to handle my pregnancy moving forward. You're drawing some pretty hilarious conclusions from a post where I was just trying to share my perspective. Honestly, nothing here gets under my skin or irritates me, and I'm not here to play the victim—it just makes me sad that people these days can't just say what they want clearly and expect it to be respected. hm, nuklea500 and I aren't besties, but we could be!🙂)
There, go tell your little hometown I said hi.

@BellaTheCat- you're right... there are risks for toxoplasmosis and that whole spectrum of infections that are super dangerous during such a sensitive time in pregnancy. In my opinion, the much bigger issue is that people simply haven't learned the basics—washing your hands, washing fruit and veggies, disinfecting phones, purse handles, telling your partner to pay extra attention to hygiene... and of course, making sure meat and other food is cooked thoroughly. The possibility for infection is always there, but with most infections, the problem usually boils down to the fundamentals... ;D... for example, when it happens (like to me this morning), I'm riding the subway, it's not raining or snowing outside, but EVERY SINGLE WINDOW is shut tight like we're in a cattle car... I just open them without a second thought. And if someone gets weirdly upset because they've grown accustomed to the comfort of warm, stinky bacteria, I just say—sorry, I'm feeling a bit nauseous, hope you don't mind... and that's it, no drama...

Give mine to yours, too. 👋

Since you only showed up for one specific post... this is getting to be a regular thing now. 😕

rustynomad12 said:Just my two cents...

Pregnant, currently in week 6... (had three positive tests, just waiting for my doctor's appointment next week..)

1. I’m staying far away from all those "new moms" and their crowds. Honestly, I just can't deal with anyone trying to tell me how their pregnancy went or what problems they ran into... it's exhausting.

2. I know I’ll have plenty in common with other pregnant women—we'll probably act similar or react to things the same way—but my life patterns are totally different from most people. Why should pregnancy or birth be any less individual than anything else?

3. My parents and my boyfriend's parents have my total, unconditional support, but I'm definitely the type to say, "Thanks, but I'm good," or "No thanks, I'll pass..." That goes for everything, especially this. I’m not letting anyone push me around or waste my time with empty chatter.

4. I still smoke maybe two cigarettes a day, and since I'm 36, I'm fully aware of the world around me (I work, I commute on the subway, and I'll keep doing exactly that as long as I'm physically able). I'm not flipping my entire lifestyle 360 degrees just because it's "what you do now" or "how it's supposed to be."

5. On Saturday, I celebrated with a few friends over a couple of glasses of red wine throughout the evening... pure bliss, but with some self-control applied.

6. Yesterday, I even had a little shot of Pelín to toast with my brother... joy oh joy!🙂

7. I told a handful of people—some coworkers and everyone who is actually normal enough not to stare at me like I'm some kind of miracle. Most people don't even know, and for good reason. It's none of their business, and I feel zero need to broadcast it on Facebook or chat about it over coffee...

8. I only really hang out with three people: one friend who gets me better than anyone, and my boyfriend, who loves and respects me and keeps me from becoming one of those annoying, "conspiratorially united" pregnant ladies...

9. I couldn't care less about buying Mustela, fancy strollers, designer baby clothes, or high-end cribs. I'll get everything secondhand—whatever is cheapest and works. I'd much rather spend that money on a great dinner with my guy, a good book, or a piece of jewelry that makes me happy.

10. As for advice like, "Oh no, you won't sleep ever again!"... please, spare me. First off, I know. Second, I'm actually looking forward to this new chapter and seeing life through a new lens. Sleep is the least of my worries... as is everyone else's smug little satisfaction in worrying about me. Big deal, right? I'll survive. For everything else, I've got concealer and makeup, which I have no intention of giving up until the day I give birth.

11. My eating habits are actually great. I don't have random cravings or a sudden urge to eat everything in sight, especially junk food. If you didn't learn to live without junk when you weren't pregnant, well, welcome to the club now that you are.

12. I've started skipping forums and threads like "pregnancy problems." I used to read them out of curiosity, but now I realize they aren't stressful—they're just funny, unless we're talking actual medical or hormonal issues. Complaining about "gaining weight" is pointless. Don't overeat. Period. Everything else is normal and will settle down eventually!

13. I'm flying to Germany twice—once in week 13 and once in week 18. I am freaking excited! I hope everything goes smoothly so this trip becomes a beautiful memory of my pregnancy... the little one is going to love it.🙂

14. Names like "little angel" or "princess"... yeah, no thanks. I have a very high immunity to that stuff. I get why people do it, but I'm the type of person who gets the creeps if my boyfriend calls me "sweetie" or "honey." Thank God he doesn't call me that.

15. I have an adorable cat at home and I'm not getting rid of her unless it's a total emergency. The baby is the priority, but I'm sure we'll find a way to coexist peacefully.

16. Haha, someone else picking my baby's name? Or giving me naming advice? Not a chance. By the way, my boyfriend and I already agreed on names, whether it's a boy or a girl.😉

Basically? Don't sweat it. There's zero reason to stress until some "expert"—God forbid—decides there's actually an issue. Just live your life! Honestly, ignore the people who think they're helping but have absolutely no clue what’s actually best for you. Go out, grab drinks, hang with friends, and just make it crystal clear to all those busybodies that you aren't interested in their input...

That's my take, anyway. It's my relatively sane view on what should be a totally normal, natural thing called "pregnancy." Yet, here we are in the 21st century, and everyone is still obsessing over it and making things way more complicated than they need to be...

Good luck to all the ladies out there! And hey, if your mom is actually chill, just ask her for advice and call it a day. 🙂)))))))))))))))

(Hehe, and yeah, this is officially my first and last post here. Peace out! 🙂))

I'm reading this and admiring how calm, rational, and positive you are. Based on your post, nothing in this world could throw you off balance, so I don't know how you even ended up on this subforum... hopefully for the last time.🙂 And asking Mom???!!! As if a confident, modern pregnant woman would actually go to her mother for advice.

You've got everything perfectly figured out, though I am a bit concerned since you're only 6 weeks along... back in my hometown, they'd say you still have a long way to go before you can call it a done deal.

Dana Martin87 said:Moms obsessed with strollers. I had no idea this phenomenon even existed until I got pregnant myself. Everyone tries to convince you that a stroller without a bassinet is a terrible choice—even people like me who think a bassinet is just consumerist greed, a gimmick, and total nonsense. Until now, I only knew about guys who obsess over cars; now I’ve realized there are groups of women who obsess over strollers in the exact same way.
God, I was reading a Chicago forum where some expectant mom says she wants to buy a Stokke stroller, and another woman responds, totally dead serious, "Why would you get a Stokke? Every other person in Chicago has them, just buy a Bugaboo." Helloooo? In Chicago, every other person is starving, not driving a Stokke, and what does it matter how many identical strollers are on the street? Is the only thing that matters if they're comfortable for the baby?!

I used to be disgusted by car guys; now I'm disgusted by their wives too.

And since I'm already on a pre-labor rant: Women who smoke, eat junk food, drink Coke and alcohol, and dye their hair during the first three months of pregnancy while simultaneously claiming pregnancy is the best thing that ever happened to them. Just be honest: "I hate this kid in my womb and I want it to die." Seriously, who are you kidding? If you can't give up something for nine months that threatens your baby's health, don't act like you're overjoyed.

Or those "virgin moms" who act all shocked at women having sex during a healthy pregnancy. If the pregnancy is healthy, sex should just add to the bliss. Amen.

Then there are the women who splurge on high-end stuff like Johnson & Johnson and think that's why they didn't get stretch marks. The cheapest Walmart almond oil and the most expensive luxury cream will have the exact same effect on the final result. I learned that the hard way.

Oh, and the hospital drama. When for the tiniest little thing—just a routine checkup—a woman, her husband, her mom, dad, grandma, and grandpa all start making connections that aren't there, spreading panic into a perfectly normal situation.

Pregnant women who brag about only gaining 10 pounds by 40 weeks, while they could easily carry someone like me who gained 20 kilos. Honestly, this whole weight talk drives me crazy.

And the women who preach about breastfeeding. I don't care one bit whether I breastfeed or not. If I have milk, I'll nurse, but for a maximum of six months because it's proven that after that, breast milk loses its properties and mostly just serves to soothe the baby, which feels like pure perversion to me. So, if there's milk, I'll nurse until six months; if not, I won't, and that's that.

There's more where that came from...

Are you two friends? If not, you should meet; it seems like you have a lot in common.

Regarding breastfeeding, if doing it after 6 months is "pointless," then the first day is too. Maybe it's better to just grab some baby formula at the hospital so you can feed the kid properly right away🤷. Why bother with breastfeeding if it doesn't serve a purpose?😍

I’ve been telling everyone I'm pregnant for the last 20 days 🙄 /thankfully it hasn't actually been a full seven months/

And now comes the question I'm always thrilled to hear 🙄:"Did you get an amniocentesis?"....To me, that feels just like being asked: "Did you have sex before or after breakfast???"....Don't get me wrong, I'm talking about people I haven't even seen in a year, so they aren't even close to my inner circle.

I stay incredibly polite mostly because my family and I live in a multi-unit house—we have our own separate apartments, but we’re all close by. I know there are plenty of times when he just stays quiet about things, so I do the same.
The only real difference is that my family never meddles in our decisions. I'm honestly so grateful for that.🙂

I finally need to vent because I am seriously reaching my breaking point 😳

Every single time she sees me, she goes straight for my stomach to give me a kiss—thankfully she doesn't see me that often—but it’s honestly exhausting. She just lunges at me and leaves lipstick stains all over my shirt 😕 since she's about a head and a half shorter than me and aims right for my belly. Then she starts shouting, "That's my grandbaby! That's my grandbaby!!!!"

Or even worse, I'll be standing there and she’ll sneak up behind me for a hug. Nobody else does this to me, so I don't think she should either. I don't have the guts to tell her I really don't like it, and she's not doing herself any favors by being like this; she's just making things awkward for my partner.

Yesterday, she started lecturing us about what names she thinks we should pick, and how she wants to go shopping to buy the baby's going-home outfit—she's basically the type of person who thinks she knows everything about everything. Even so, after everything we've been through, I feel like it's perfectly fine for my partner and me to choose the name and the clothes for bringing the baby home from the hospital. It makes me really sad that she's acting this way. I know she's just excited, and I'm trying to be respectful, but she 🙄

I’m at 27 weeks plus 4 days today, and people still haven't realized I'm pregnant. It’s starting to get really irritating, and honestly, it feels a bit awkward... everyone keeps acting surprised by how small my bump is and asking where the baby is, which triggers this paranoia that maybe the little one isn't developing properly 🙂.

I've actually gained about 23 pounds so far, so I don't understand how no one can tell 🙂

Anyway, I've started telling everyone ahead of time so they aren't shocked when we start using the stroller soon.

Timothy Barrett6 said:I wish I had that bump to hold onto, but at 20 weeks, nothing much to show for it yet. Hopefully, it shows up soon. I’ve always wanted a big belly, but halfway through this pregnancy, I just feel like I’ve been eating too much.

I'm signing on... just me and my 25+5 situation right now. Honestly, only three people have even realized I'm pregnant yet. 🙂 That's all for now.

Sandra Lopez2 said:And then there are those endlessly charming people who think calling a pregnant woman FAT is peak comedy. 🙂

I wouldn't mind if people just called me fat. 🙂

northernseal6 said:If someone is willing to support you and you're cool with being supported, then go for it!
Some women wouldn't even be able to have their own kids if they hadn't lost their jobs, simply because they wouldn't have been able to afford to feed them.

No one is supporting me; I'm living off my savings. I set money aside a long time ago for this, and honestly, God was kind enough that we were able to get through everything at the hospital for free, so those funds can stay reserved for the baby.

And if things go even better, my former employer actually owes me a significant amount of money. If I can collect even a portion of that, the baby and I will have enough to live modestly for at least a year or two. Since I have my degree and experience, I'm also hopeful about finding a new job soon.

northernseal6 said:Unfortunately, that's not the whole story. Nobody said anyone should be judged,
but we really need to change some deep-seated societal attitudes. Personally, I don't
feel threatened at work or at home, but that doesn't mean women in today's
society aren't still being exploited—like getting fired because they got pregnant,
handling all the housework and kids while working the same hours as men. Or even more, then coming home to iron shirts and prep tomorrow's lunch. Some women do this simply because they DON'T KNOW any better and think
it's their DUTY. If we just leave things as they are and stay silent, women still wouldn't have the vote, would depend on men, and would have even fewer choices in life. Honestly, explaining the status of women feels silly. It's like saying you aren't affected by the war in Iraq or famine in Africa.

Look, if we're talking about real consequences, I was actually the first in line when I got fired after 15 years at the same company. It happened right after I brought in a doctor's note regarding complications from IVF treatments. So what now? Am I supposed to end it all because my standing as a woman in America has been undermined? I'm fully aware of the big picture... and honestly, I'm happy because I don't have to deal with those people anymore, and I achieved my goal of getting pregnant. Life isn't just black and white. What looks like a stroke of luck to one person might be a tragedy to someone else, and vice versa.🙂.

lonefox8 said:Ladies, please, let’s not get worked up over every little flutter.
The only time you should truly worry is if you don't feel any movement at all for two consecutive days.
Everything else is entirely subjective.
I know women who felt those first kicks at just 17 weeks, while others didn't sense a thing until week 24 or 25. Some mothers describe their baby as being in constant motion, whereas others might only catch a stray movement here and there throughout the day.
There is NO official standard number of movements, let alone within a specific hour. 🙂
What matters is that you feel them happening at some point during the day, and that's really all there is to it.
👋

A friend told me right before she gave birth that her doctor gave her a chart to track movements by lying on her left side for an hour.

My OB told me that once the baby starts moving—not just little squirming or tickling, but actual movement—you just need to feel it every day. That’s the rule. If you don't feel anything for 24 hours, it's time to call the doctor (at least, that was my experience).

Nathan Kelly said:The general rule is you want to feel ten kicks or rolls within an hour—basically, just making sure you actually feel them—though I recall reading somewhere else that the benchmark is over a two-hour window.🤔 Honestly, I have no clue which week they expect you to start counting, but the whole thing sounds a bit surreal to me. Babies aren't programmed like Swiss watches; they have quiet days just like anyone else. They don't just tap you on the shoulder at the exact same time every single day.🤷

I'm honestly more stressed out than anyone else right now.🙂

I’ve got my doctor's appointment in an hour, so I’ll just lay it all out there and get some real answers.

I heard that too, but only during those final weeks before delivery when doctors tell moms to start tracking movement. If that rule starts at 23 weeks, then my little guy is doing the exact opposite. 😁.

Right now he’s wide awake and kicking constantly, but I know he’ll be dead quiet in an hour. It doesn't seem right that he's always active while moms are trying to rest and sleep, since babies need their sleep too. 😕

northernseal6 said:I'm talking about people who DON'T live in a house or a mansion, and don't have a yard, woods, a farm, or a vineyard. Still waiting on an answer there.
My heart starts racing constantly—it's been going on for 17 weeks now. If I don't hear from her after I get upset or something, I just spiral into total panic.

At the end of the day, doesn't it just come down to whether those two people are on the same page in their own home?

If a woman is happy with her life—handling everything from cooking and cleaning to her career and childcare—who are we to judge her?

I try to explain that things work differently in our household, because my mom and I often lose our minds because all the guys in the family feel obligated to finish every single chore that specific day or weekend 🙂 so, we're just stuck at the opposite extreme 😉.

Morgan Kim2 said:It’s all about feeling it—even just a little bit. That subtle vibration? That’s fine. But you need to be hitting at least ten moves an hour to make it count.

That’s why I’ve been playing my heart out all day today...

I don't quite get this... who is supposed to be seeing 10 movements, the mom or the baby, and starting from which week if we're talking about the baby?

northernseal6 said:Nobody was talking about people like your dad or your husband.
We’re talking about the average American family living in a 500-square-foot apartment. Both the wife and the husband work through their pregnancies. So, who does the chores? Him or her? Why not both?
I’m trying to talk about equality—meaning housework, yard work, and everything else should be split up. If he handles the garden, the weeding, the harvesting, or mowing, then she can handle the vacuuming, cooking, laundry, and cleaning. Or they can just divvy it up based on what works for them.
If you only live in an apartment, how do you divide the labor if he’s terrible at vacuuming, can't mop, doesn't know how to cook, or is totally useless with diapers, putting the baby to sleep, or hanging up the laundry?
What happens when she goes back to work and is pulling 8-hour shifts or more? On top of all the housework, there’s also the kid. Or multiple kids. How does that even work?

Go back and read all my previous posts; you'll see exactly what this specific thread is addressing.
And why would you assume we aren't an average family? That's how most households live in California. Do you really think life is perfectly balanced just in big cities or high-rise apartments?

James Cox6 said:even you've found a purpose here😁
who says just sitting around and doing nothing is a death sentence?😁 sure, by the time you hit labor you'll be brain-dead, totally disconnected from reality and all your friends... but hey, it is what it is
.

As for staying connected, I’m on Skype with people all over the world constantly. The time difference is actually great because there's always someone awake somewhere.😉

I honestly love this peace and solitude; I've never had this much of it before. To be truthful, lounging around isn't so bad when you have people looking after you and keeping you fed.😍.

James Cox6 said:aha.... was this topic what got under your skin the most during pregnancy?
and why's that?
I don't get how an American would say 🤔

Well, you know... 😵 You can find just about everything here... things that make me laugh, things that get under my skin, all of it. I'm really glad this forum exists.

James Cox6 said:Is this the poll for the show's intro: 'I'm swapping my husband 😁'
? 🍿

No, but I feel like my final conclusion will be: "What was the most irritating thing about pregnancy?" Honestly, out of everything possible, this topic is currently leading the pack. 😂😂😂

I'm happy with ☕, thank God it wasn't any worse!

jadejackal said:No,
he’s currently laying tile in our new place...
plus, we have a massive yard—about 10,000 square feet—filled with fruit trees, flowers, and landscaping... that needs constant upkeep all year round.
To me, it just makes more sense for my mom to come over and help out with the housework, while he stays busy with his projects so we can move into the new house sooner.

You’re looking at this strictly from your own perspective—I'm assuming you live in a 500-square-foot apartment on the 8th floor of a high-rise, where the only thing to do after work is crash on the sofa and watch TV.

I’m looking at this from mine—which is everything I just mentioned.

Different lifestyles require different approaches.
If you honestly find that hard to wrap your head around, then I don't even know what to tell you.

And my flooring😉

It's tough for jadejackal to understand how a massive property compares to a tiny apartment on the fifth floor.

Neither my mom nor I can realistically expect our husbands to vacuum the house and cook lunch before they go out to tend the vineyard or the orchards, especially since we're busy with farm work ten months out of the year. Our guys are incredibly hardworking and never complain about the labor; honestly, I'm lucky to have three men like that in my life.

And yeah... weekends don't really exist for us unless it happens to be a major holiday... most weekends are just working days.☕...