Posts by Kyle Lopez36

Thanks!

Unfortunately, it’s not even like I have a relationship where jealousy would be an issue. He’s just a childhood friend I lost touch with—though I still care about him—and a mutual friend reconnected us because I had dealt with my own breakup a few months prior, so we could act as a sort of support system for one another.

Having that shared struggle gave me plenty of leverage to push him toward working on himself, telling him to stop chasing his ex through constant begging and persuasion and to actually focus on his own growth despite his lack of willpower. I tried to show him there was light at the end of the tunnel; since my situation and his happened so close together, he could blindly trust that things get better, even if he can't see the path forward yet...
At the same time, we talked quite a bit about our emotional states and how much of a mess everything feels right now. I think he really opened up to me, providing some pretty deep explanations, which is why I was so taken aback. I really hope you're right and that this is all just hurt feelings being poorly articulated. I'll try to listen more closely next time...

I am trying my best to be there for a friend going through a rough patch. He’s dealing with the fallout of a long-term breakup. I’ve been doing a lot of listening and offering advice, and I honestly thought we had made some real progress over the last couple of months.

Then, a few days ago, he starts telling me about this disastrous date he went on with someone new. He then goes on to describe how he reached out to his ex just to lash out at her, accusing her of seeing someone else and throwing all these other nasty insults her way.

It genuinely floored me—the sheer hypocrisy of him blaming his ex for the exact same things he is guilty of. He’s judging this new girl for being honest about her past struggles, even though he clearly hasn't dealt with his own baggage yet. He’s attacking his ex for moving on, despite the fact that he was the one calling her...
I tried to listen patiently, but eventually, I had to cut him off. I asked him if he actually hears himself, or if he realizes he’s acting like a total jerk.

I want to understand him and help him, but I cannot wrap my head around how someone can take my advice on how to act like a decent, respectful human being and respond with, "What do I get out of it?"

I get that he’s hurting. I’m trying to balance active listening—not following some textbook method, mind you, just trying to be empathetic, recognize his emotions, and reflect back what he says—with giving advice since that's what he asks for. I’m not his therapist, so I feel like I’m taking on a bit of his burden by offering solutions I believe might actually work.
I think I lost my cool when he dropped those antisocial comments. It isn't the first time he's said something incredibly out of line. The first time, I kept it light and used sarcasm to remind him that I’m his friend and want to support him, but added that if I were his ex, I’d probably punch him in the face because I know exactly how he treats her after a breakup. I didn't think I was being too harsh then because I managed to mask it with humor and stay in control. But this most recent outburst? I just blurted it out in pure disbelief, wondering if he even understood the nonsense he was spewing. I was just too shocked to handle it gracefully.

How do you all react in situations like this? How does a professional handle it when a client makes such blatantly antisocial statements, knowing a therapist can't really give their opinion unless it's extremely carefully packaged?

And how should I carry myself in a less formal relationship?
On one hand, a friend wants to share his struggles with me, and I want to remain that safe space for him. On the other hand, he says things that are deeply antisocial to justify his behavior, and I don't know how to show him that his actions are fundamentally wrong without sounding patronizing or lecturing him on things he didn't ask for.

In our last conversation, I tried to frame it pragmatically: I told him he needs to approach new people with genuine interest, without expecting anything in return or dumping his own unresolved issues onto them—because, strictly speaking, that kind of body language and attitude gives him a better shot at getting what he wants. I was pushing him to see others as individuals for his own benefit, but I really want to find a way to explain that people deserve to be treated as humans, regardless of what we might gain from them, without coming across as a moralizing preacher... which I know won't work with him.

Please, help!
Beyond helping me navigate this specific mess, I feel like this is a life skill I really need to master...

What exactly is this ad even for? Are you selling mushrooms that actually have some kick to them? 🤷

Look, this is a professional sport. Of course it isn't good for the body. If they tried to ban headshots in boxing for these exact same reasons, we'd be having a very different conversation. 🤣

So, I’m running Windows 7, 64-bit Home Premium SP1—reinstalled about nine months ago—and I’ve hit a wall with my programs failing to launch.

For a few weeks now, the Command Prompt hasn't been starting up. R Studio still functions, so I didn't bother digging into it at first, but I finally realized the issue is real.
Today, BitTorrent is completely dead. It was downloading just fine yesterday, but today? Nothing. I try using a magnet link, which is how anyone would normally do it, and it fails. I try launching it manually by clicking the icon... nothing. I even downloaded the installer, clicked run, and absolutely nothing happens.

Is there any chance something is blocking these launches? Where should I even begin looking...

Thanks,
LP.

Poland is going to collapse just like they did in '39. ☕

Equality is a fallacy here.
All humans are animals, which means human implies animal. However, not all animals are humans. Therefore, labeling a being an animal doesn't allow you to conclude that the being is human. The implication animal $\rightarrow$ human doesn't hold, much less equality.

Harold Doyle3 said:🤷 I have to say, looking at what you wrote, I find myself wondering about your motives for giving someone the chance to prove they are "better" than you in this debate.

I'm guessing you don't have kids, based on that part you bolded.

Biologically, man is an animal.
Physically, man is matter.
Mechanically, we are machines.
Computationally, we are computers.
Chemically, we are molecules.
Philosophically, we are (just) consciousness.
Religiously, we are God's creation.
And so on...
These are all imprecise, reductionist generalities.

You stated your opinion: that people prioritize perception, that showing your true self hurts your standing in the pack, that kindness is a fiction... and then, in a very human way, you reflect on yourself and society, conducting a "social experiment"...
None of that is characteristic of animals. How does everything you just listed actually support your conclusion that man is an animal?

Of all the responses, this one above is the most interesting to me. I want to know how you reached that bolded conclusion? Is there any actual logic behind it, or is it just poetic nonsense?

Chemically, a human is a collection of molecules. But even that isn't enough for a definition. You assign a property, but many different things and beings share that property. One could define a human purely through chemistry (not that I have the expertise in chemistry to verify this) simply by "descending" all the terms from a biological definition—which exists, since human is primarily a biological species designation—down to the chemical level.

Informatically, a human is part of the so-called outside world as long as a computer isn't using the human to process data. But even that is just a descriptor; a definition would need to be more complete and unambiguous.

Mechanically, you aren't wrong (that's not my field, but it fits the definition of a machine I found), yet you still haven't actually defined a human.

Physically, you were extremely vague, but that can still be expanded into a proper definition by describing the chemical definition via physical properties (actually, I suspect the definitions would be equal there, since physics and chemistry are much closer levels than chemistry and biology).

I would love an explanation regarding the logic used to conclude that religiously, a human is Quincy (which I think is completely wrong), and especially why, from a philosophical perspective, a human is consciousness?
I get that you're trying to highlight the imprecision of reductionism, but I don't think reductionism is imprecise if it is performed carefully and with quality.

It’s like looking at something through a magnifying glass or a microscope—you can learn a lot more about the subject, but not if you just look at a few random parts. Everything needs to be studied and described carefully and precisely at that specific, "lower" level.

SOAD. I'm completely obsessed with this specific version of the track 😍

Thanks so much, I’ll give them a call on Monday and just hope I don't get stuck in a massive line. 👍

restlessbadger2 said:I think Quest Diagnostics accepts referrals through Medicare. You should give them a call and find out.

Sent from my iPhone 13 using iOS

Thanks. I already called, and they don't take insurance for MRIs. They supposedly do in Des Moines (which would be a bit of a trek, even if there were openings), but they're fully booked for this month. As for next month, they don't even know if they'll be able to process it through health insurance yet. Any other ideas?...

Hi there,
I'm trying to find out if there are any private clinics in Washington, D.C. that accept Medicare for MRI scans and X-rays—and if so, which ones?
To be more specific, I need to get my knee scanned. If anyone has some leads, please let me know. This is urgent because I’m training hard, and if I have to go through the standard public system, I’ll either end up disabled or fully healed by the time they actually see me...

I'm counting down the days until this happens. 🙏I actually snagged my tickets nearly a month ago, right when they first went on sale 😁
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