443 posts shown.
Nicole Ramirez3 said:Thanks a ton! Honestly, doing this on my phone makes everything feel way more complicated than it needs to be. Once I'm back at my computer, I'll give it a proper trial... 🙂
Casey Booth3 said:For this 13-year-old kid fighting leukemia—my suggestion is to join the Lioness group on Facebook. It’s a support group for patients where everyone shares advice about treatment. There’s even a 20-year-old girl there who already had a successful transplant and is still recovering. This is just my advice to him and his family, if they want absolute support and want to know exactly what to expect. I truly hope this young soul pulls through and beats this.
Taylor Jackson14 said:My dad passed away. Thank you to everyone who shared their stories here. So many of you gave me the hope, strength, and info I desperately needed. Thanks to this community—especially Angela Wright—we managed to make sure his last day was peaceful and finally free from all that crushing pain... Angela once wrote about how letting go is the ultimate act of love; I was scared to believe that at first, but in those final days, I saw exactly what she meant. I’m an adult, but without him, I feel like a lost kid again. If only I had just one more moment...
Kate Cox2 said:I find myself quite compelled by the sheer complexity of these discussions! It truly is fascinating how we all approach these topics from such wildly different perspectives. I simply must express my sincere admiration for the depth of thought being poured into this thread—it is nothing short of remarkable. kaže:
I shall allow myself a brief moment of deviation from the primary topic, if I may, though I firmly believe this issue is inextricably linked to the general attitude many educators hold toward their students.
During my very first parent-teacher conference when my daughter started first grade, I made my position incredibly clear to her teacher: I am not interested in grades; I am interested in actual knowledge. My reasoning for this was quite simple—the teacher had begun focusing far too much on physical education performance. She started making these little comments about how my daughter was trying her best, but that certain movements weren't quite right, or her form in a specific exercise could be improved, or perhaps her balance wasn't where it should be. I told her point-blank that what matters to me is that my child is putting in the effort, and as long as she maintains at least a C in PE, the specific grade is secondary to me. We eventually moved on to discussing other subjects, and I reiterated my stance: I want my child to actually master the material. I have absolutely no interest in any sort of coddling, empty praise, or being patronized by the faculty. I believe in substance over fluff. This wasn't just a one-time occurrence, either; I held myself to this same standard during every subsequent conference throughout the year.
For most of the school year, the report cards were almost entirely straight A's. We saw a few B's here and there, but looking at the big picture, the grades were perfectly fine. To be honest, we weren't even worried about PE; we fully expected a C or maybe a B if the teacher was feeling generous, but nobody really gave it a second thought. However, when the official transcript finally arrived at our house, I was absolutely floored. My daughter had managed to pull off nothing but A's—which, let’s be real, she would have done anyway, barring that physical education grade—but then I noticed something else entirely. There was an extracurricular activity listed on there that she apparently attended regularly, yet she hadn't uttered a single word about its existence! It was quite a shock to see her participation recorded for something she hadn't even mentioned to us. 😲 And then I found myself having to sit my daughter down and explain that I had absolutely no idea where this sudden behavior came from. I had to make it very clear to her that what she did was simply not okay—that receiving unearned praise or attention isn't how things work in the real world. It’s quite a difficult conversation to have with a child! As for the teacher, I find myself in a bit of a bind. I don't dare say a single word to her because, frankly, my little girl still has three more years of elementary school left to navigate. I really want to speak up about the situation, but I have to weigh that against her daily experience in the classroom. Honestly, if I could get some proper compensation for the emotional labor of fixing these behavioral lapses, I certainly wouldn't be complaining! ☕
I am earnestly requesting that anyone with a bit of pedagogical expertise please enlighten me regarding this teacher's motives and her specific course of action. I am truly struggling to wrap my head around it. There was absolutely no request made for this particular intervention—in fact, I would go so far as to suggest it could actually be quite detrimental to the student. At the very least, from my perspective, the entire exercise seems utterly nonsensical. 🤷
I never once approached the teacher to ask for a grade bump; honestly, I felt like she and I were actually on the same page regarding how one should balance actual knowledge against effort and final marks. Our discussions were always perfectly cordial—we’d even share a laugh now and then—and I truly believed our communication was constructive and that we had established a great rapport. Yet, somehow, the whole thing spiraled, and I ended up sitting there having to explain to my child that their teacher had made a mistake. 😵
It is entirely possible that a school policy allows for students to receive special commendations or awards—say, for exemplary behavior or maintaining a perfect 4.0 GPA—and yet, a teacher might feel genuinely torn because their student missed out on that recognition solely due to a single lackluster grade in Physical Education. It’s a peculiar dilemma, isn't it? You have this child who is essentially a model citizen, demonstrating impeccable conduct and academic excellence in every core subject, only to have the entire achievement undercut by a mediocre mark in gym class. One would think such a holistic view would be taken, but sometimes those specific grading rubrics can be quite unforgiving!
It is entirely possible that she has come to the conclusion that her physical exertion alone warrants that A, even if her ability to execute a perfect roll remains somewhat lacking. But, one must consider—she truly gave it her all, didn't she? And I firmly believe that such genuine effort deserves to be recognized and rewarded accordingly.
It is entirely plausible that a woman might have endured numerous uncomfortable confrontations with her parents regarding her grades during her formative years. If she faced constant scrutiny or criticism over her academic performance growing up, she likely developed a subconscious defense mechanism. Essentially, she learned early on how to "cover" her tracks or curate the information she shares just to preemptively avoid those unpleasant domestic frictions. It becomes a survival strategy—masking the reality to maintain peace.
Regarding those extracurricular activities—it is entirely possible that a clerical error occurred during the transcript generation process. It’s quite plausible that the system inadvertently attached someone else's activity to her record, particularly if you are looking at printed transcripts from the school's management portal. If the teacher didn't catch the discrepancy during the review, the error remains. These technical glitches happen; sometimes the computer fails to pull the correct data, or worse, it pulls information that doesn't even exist for that specific student. It is simply a systemic hiccup. However, I should note that in our district, we have a very rigorous protocol in place. We mandate that at least three different staff members cross-reference everything between the daily attendance logs, the official permanent records, and the final report cards to ensure total accuracy. Because of this triple-check system, such errors are exceedingly rare here—and if they do occur, they are corrected almost instantly. If your school relies on a single teacher to manually verify all three sets of documents, it is much more likely that an oversight could slip through the cracks.
Furthermore, there is a distinct possibility that she is simply being eccentric. While I can somewhat wrap my head around the situation involving the number five, I fail to see any logical justification for fabricating an extracurricular activity out of thin air. To my mind, this strikes me as nothing more than a genuine mistake.
Did you ever get a chance to ask her about that?
Susan James said:Personally, I don't see anything positive or helpful about a child standing up in front of the whole class and saying, "I have dyslexia" just because they made a mistake.
In my view, it’s perfectly fine that the boy didn't say, "I messed up because of my dyslexia," and it's also fine that the class didn't go to the teacher and say, "Hey, just so you know, he has dyslexia." 😕
What would the teacher even do with that info?
Would she look foolish for not knowing?
Or would she just feel a wave of pity? Or worse, might she snap and say, "Why are you making excuses? That's not in my records"? 🥳
No matter how you look at it, it wouldn't help the kid, and I worry the backlash could be pretty damaging...
But yes, the teacher absolutely should have been informed about the basic needs and characteristics of every student.
She should have taken the time to get to know them before jumping straight into assessments and grading.
I don't see any benefit in having students perform on the board or take tests during the first week or two.
Unless, of course, it's just a way to assert authority. 🥳
| No matter how you look at it, that’s definitely not something you’d want for a kid. I'm worried the damage would just be too much... |
| I mean, shouldn't the teacher have known the basics about every kid? Right? |
| Honestly, before she jumps straight into grading everyone, shouldn't she give herself and the kids a chance to actually bond first? |
| I don't see any point in doing all those drills and tests during the first or second week. Why even bother? Besides just leaning on authority. 🥳 |
James Perez54 said:It really depends on which school we're talking about. And which subject.😁
See, my little one is still in elementary school. He has an A in physics, even though he barely understands enough to pass with a C. Honestly, everyone in his class gets grades based on whatever the parents want. This guy is one of those teachers who just doesn't give a damn about whether the kids actually know anything about the material; all he cares about is being liked by the majority and acting like a buddy to the rowdiest kids in class.😁
Of course, the kids absolutely adore him, but you wouldn't believe how many parents (myself included) are actually filing complaints against a professor like this. Some go to the homeroom teacher, some to the principal, the school board, or even the PTA... because the kids aren't learning anything in physics, and they're going to run into massive problems with that lack of knowledge when they hit high school.
Now, if this teacher were at my kid's high school, I honestly wouldn't have a problem with him, because physics isn't a subject my son needs for his future career path, but in this situation...
Thomas Cruz15 said:If someone hopped on here right now and told another user, "Are you actually stupid or just pretending?" would they get a strike?
Totally.
Because "We don't talk like that here. That's insulting the other person."
So basically, an anonymous user gets penalized for insulting another anonymous user on a forum. But the real uproar is because some authority figure—whatever that means—told a student they were being stupid or acting stupid.
Honestly, I don't think any penalty is enough, especially since she didn't even wait to be prompted before insulting a kid in front of the whole class. She should've done the right thing on her own. Then again, I don't think she deserves to be fired over it either. There just needs to be some kind of system to track these mistakes. If this stuff keeps happening? Then yeah, she's out.
Alex Barnes8 said:I didn't get the impression it was being hidden from the whole class, per se. It felt more like the kid just froze in the moment.
The teacher is new to him in middle school, so maybe she isn't aware.
Even though the author mentioned it’s noted in his file.
Maybe she missed it, ignored it, or perhaps she just doesn't know anything about dyslexia.
Persephone keeps avoiding my questions about how to work with students facing similar struggles, so I suppose this is probably the most common scenario.
crimsongull20 said:A 12-year-old should have just stood up in front of the whole class and said, "Hey, I have dyslexia."
How many adults could actually announce a diagnosis to a group of 30 people without feeling massive amounts of discomfort?...
wanderingbadger44 said:Your take felt pretty biased and unnecessarily aggressive.
You didn't seem concerned with showing any respect back when professors were being dismissed as nothing more than pathetic little instructors... boo hoo...
It seems like the respect you're describing is a one-way street where only teachers deserve it from students and parents. In your view, students and their families don't need to earn it, and if a teacher wants respect, they have to build it from scratch themselves. It’s as if the basic tenets of human decency don't apply to educators—as if they're some kind of untouchable deities. How incredibly flattering! Does a professor even have to use the restroom like a normal person? 😁
The reason I even decided to chime in is because of how much people lost their minds just because the teacher offered an apology. Honestly, it feels like the only thing that would actually satisfy everyone is getting them fired.
I don't really have a problem with any of this personally. It just helps me, as I mentioned before, to deal with the role society has shoved me into with a bit more patience: I am treated almost like a flawless demigod, a perfect blend of Jesus Christ and Einstein who happens to have passed a teaching certification in 😬. People hand over the upbringing and education of their most precious assets—their children—into my hands, yet they treat me like a plaything. And apparently, I'm expected to love every second of it and do it all pro bono, driven by pure passion or some kind of masochism. Because heaven forbid we look at our profession through the lens of needing to make a living.
When I see the situation laid out this clearly, it makes it much easier to just sit there and wait for the bell to ring. I'm sure all of your children are absolutely wonderful and exceptionally bright.
😘
silverraven14 said:I know people who snap because they're constantly cleaning up someone else's mess, but I don't see anyone snapping out of fear of being fired when *they* are the ones who made the mistake. In fact, it seems like nobody actually cares about mistakes; if anything, the person responsible just denies they even happened if anyone dares to mention them.
And honestly, I know all about those cases where the blame gets shifted to the wrong person, too.
I just don't see anyone getting a "yellow card" warning after a first mistake and then actually taking responsibility for it.
So, yeah, a public lynching is overkill and it’s certainly not going to change the collective mindset. *That* is what actually matters, not just shouting down one single teacher.
Demanding accountability and damage control is fine—for this situation and a whole bunch of similar ones—and that can actually drive change. Talking to other parents and spreading the idea will do more for society than firing one person.
What, should we just start handing out termination notices for every little slip-up?
Besides, some people commit violence and cause harm with much more subtle methods; this "you're stupid" approach is at least easy to identify and deal with.
Look, there are bad employees, plain and simple. But just as we generally agree that slapping a child isn't a foundation for good parenting, threatening someone with termination isn't a foundation for developing a quality educator.
I've already said quite a bit about how our educational system is failing to properly train its training staff.
Maybe you'll feel the reality of it yourselves when you make a mistake due to lack of experience and find yourself facing a pink slip. Perhaps then you'll realize that working in constant fear isn't exactly a great way to live...
Thanks for the question, but I am well aware of the reality around me, and I truly believe you can't fix bad behavior by using bad methods. So, go ahead, hand out your self-righteous corrective slaps and try to build "respect" through intimidation 🤷
Personally, that's just distasteful to me. I prefer humanity, understanding mistakes, and giving people a second chance—provided, of course, they admit the mistake and actually want to improve.
I have no idea what kind of teacher this is, or whether she's being fake or sincere, but I'm talking about the general approach here. I'm trying to explain that jumping straight to "warning before firing" isn't something to be tossed around lightly, despite the calls for a lynching and comments like "she wouldn't do that to my kid" or "I'll show her"... For crying out loud, don't raise children to be fragile. A hundred people might tell you the teacher was wrong, but you need to teach the child how to handle it—both the situation and their own reaction to it. You can't threaten his boss with a lawsuit, but you can teach your child how to stand up for themselves—so that one day they can look a manager in the eye and say, "You shouldn't have handled that conversation that way."
I still think what happened here is perfectly fine given the current circumstances, and we should just wait to see how it develops.
It’s also important that your child trusts you enough to talk, though sometimes insisting on absolute justice isn't the best move for the child—for instance, if they end up being harassed by a professional.
And since a desire for revenge isn't limited to forum members, pushing someone toward termination could backfire on your child, and you won't be able to prove it.
That's why it's vital to act calmly and tactically; sometimes the most valuable lesson is learning how to simply ignore a fool.
Aggression in defending your child can end up being counterproductive, whereas a little patience and diplomacy can yield much better results. Besides, if you're constantly barking, people stop listening; if you cooperate and then only bark when things get serious, people will actually take you seriously.
Look, how you carry yourself reflects directly on your kid at school—it’s an extension of your own behavior, so you really have to decide how you want to show up.
The phrase "I can see you're having a really hard time" is actually a brilliant way to de-escalate a situation—but honestly, it backfires completely if you don't actually mean it, or if there isn't any genuine empathy behind the words.
Linda Price5 said:Seriously, how is it even possible that after transferring a child to a different school, you didn't think to pick up the phone and call their former teacher, at the very least?
James Perez54 said:You did the right thing.
If I tell you that my son's teacher has insulted kids by saying things like "You have no brain" or "Do you even have a brain?", and those parents haven't said a single word to her, then you'll understand exactly why you had to take the path of least resistance.😉
The woman vented to both you and him, and she essentially handed him a victory in front of the entire class. That counts for something.
It's true; for an outburst like that, she deserved at least a formal warning before being facing expulsion.
Douglas Cox4 said:Didn't you mention during the enrollment process at that school that your child has dyslexia? While I am certainly not attempting to excuse the teacher's behavior in any way, shouldn't educators be thoroughly briefed on their students' specific needs?
Harold Miller said:What an incredibly misguided take—no matter the circumstances, whether we are talking about dyslexia or anything else, a teacher simply shouldn't say things like that to a student... Mistakes happen, and let's not forget how much anxiety a child feels when starting a new grade, but none of that gives a teacher the right to insult a kid.
Mom—take a deep breath, get your thoughts in order, and head straight to the first-grade instructors before taking it up with the teacher in question. 👍
Raymond Rivera6 said:It happened. I went to meet with the homeroom teacher first—an official introduction, really—to lay out the issue. The teacher in question was summoned as well, and she gave me this line about how she had no idea my child was struggling. Honestly, I find that hard to swallow, considering the school records clearly state that the student is supposed to be on an individualized learning plan, but I suppose I’ll let that slide for now. I made it very clear that I don't want a repeat of this situation. I told her that if there are any further issues or ambiguities, she should feel free to reach out directly since my number is in the directory. I mentioned that I used to have a wonderful relationship with the previous teacher and expressed just how disappointed I am by this approach, which does nothing but undermine a child's confidence. Still, for the sake of my kid's well-being, I told her I was willing to move past it this once.
Today, my child tells me they actually stood up in class and gave a little monologue about how even adults make mistakes and shouldn't treat others the way they were treated.
Truthfully, I'm not satisfied with how this wrapped up. In my mind, the teacher deserved some kind of disciplinary action, but since transferring to a different classroom isn't an option, I ended up taking the path of least resistance.
graniteorca42 said:Respect, I wanted to share something from my own experience (I’ve gone into more detail about this in earlier posts). Please don't hold it against your dad that he's acting this way, and try not to push him too hard. When you're facing this kind of illness, there comes a point where everything just starts crashing down fast. My mom was given only a few months, but she managed to hold on for two years before things took a turn for the worse in just a month and a half. What you're describing sounds exactly like what we went through. Don't force him to do anything; just be there for him and make things easier. Even though I don't know you personally, I can tell he's fighting as hard as he can, and it feels like watching my own family. Most importantly, kiss him, hug him, and tell him you love him a million times, even if he gets annoying. He's doing the best he can right now—it isn't just a loss of willpower. Regarding that lab result you asked about, it shows changes in several bone areas (not everything is necessarily malignant or a metastasis), but given how many changes are listed and the type of cancer involved, unfortunately, at least one is likely a bone metastasis. Those spots on the shoulder bone and rib look most suspicious. That doctor might seem rude, but we dealt with someone like that too; he didn't treat my mom, but when we actually needed him, he turned out to be right. My mom was an incredible fighter, but as I said, after a long battle, the lymph nodes just took her out quickly and brutally, and she faded fast. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I don't want to sound pessimistic—I really hope your dad beats all the odds and becomes a medical miracle. Wishing you nothing but the best.
Angela Wright said:I wanted to jump in here because I noticed a pattern on American forums when dealing with heavy topics like this.
It seems like most people only show up once things get complicated or after someone passes away to vent and find comfort. People rarely check back in once they’ve actually solved their problem or if things are going smoothly. That's why these threads always feel so hopeless and dark, even though reality isn't always like that. When I started this thread, I didn't just want to hear from those who lost loved ones trying to make sense of the pain; I wanted to hear from the survivors too. I wanted people in remission to share their stories to give purpose to the struggle. It feels like everyone just wants to wipe the slate clean and move on without acknowledging how much a cancer diagnosis changes a person.
Hopefully, we can change that vibe.
silverraven14 said:The apology they just handed out? It’s a complete joke—honestly, it’s nothing more than a slap in the face.
It’s the exact same pattern as those disastrous "peace and harmony" schemes—you know the ones—where everyone pretends nobody is at fault and we all just move on with a chorus of empty platitudes. It's what happens after the kids have already started throwing punches; then the old guard steps in and forces them to shake hands just because that's how things are "supposed" to be done. Such a joke.
Sweeping things under the rug is bad—really, truly bad. It’s one of those habits that seems harmless enough in the moment, but eventually, you just end up tripping over the pile of mess you thought you'd hidden away.
And honestly? I’m perfectly fine with how I handled that when I was just a kid—I flat-out refused. I have zero regrets about standing my ground back then.
Honestly, I realized there was zero point in giving anyone else a second chance—not when they’re just going to stab me in the back five minutes later and then go off to sing their little victory song. So, fine—go ahead and deal with the fallout yourself. You wanted it, you got it.
We really need to figure out a way to teach kids that their words actually carry weight—you know, that they should probably stand by what they say—and that actions come with consequences. It’s one thing to talk a big game, but it's another thing entirely to own up to the mess you've made.
Reconciliation only actually carries weight when there’s a lesson learned—when you finally grasp why that blowout happened in the first place and realize it isn't going to be a recurring theme. Otherwise, an "I promise to do better" is just empty noise—it’s not some mindless celebration of good intentions. An apology only matters when it holds substance—when the child actually understands the gravity of what they're saying.
I actually told my mother recently that she was being a complete jerk for forcing me to apologize in certain situations—insisting I just "look at myself" because apparently, an apology is some kind of moral obligation. Today, she finally admitted she felt bad about it; back then, she just didn't know any other way to handle things. But honestly? Life is what it is—sometimes you just have to do what’s expected.
My own "disobedience and arrogance"—if that’s how they wanted to label it—is exactly what turned me into a spineless follower. There were plenty of attempts to break my spirit along the way, but honestly, the only real punishment I ever actually faced was a beating.
Oh yeah—it’s the one thing that actually kept me sane and kept my head on straight.
There are those rare, pivotal moments—the kind that actually shift the ground beneath your feet—when your parents finally drop the act and say, "Look, I’m only human, I messed up. I'm sorry." It’s in those instances that an apology stops being this vague, abstract concept and actually starts feeling like something real.
And then there was that moment when they actually had the nerve to ask for my forgiveness—not because they were sorry, really, but just to clear the air after the way they punished me. They sat there, trying to play it all calm and collected, attempting to walk me through their "logic." It was this whole rehearsed explanation of what they thought I’d done wrong, why they supposedly "lost control," and why they couldn't find a more civilized way to handle the situation. As if an apology could somehow fix the mess they made.
The exact moment I actually started feeling some genuine respect for my parents was when they finally let their guard down and showed me their vulnerability—realizing that they actually cared about earning my respect rather than just demanding it through fear. It turns out there's a massive difference between building a bond and simply trying to rule by intimidation.
One of those conversations sounded something like this—"Look, we can't control you. You’re always going to make choices that happen entirely outside our radar, even though, honestly, we’d love to be part of your life and have you actually *ask* us for advice once in a while. We're operating under the assumption that you aren't some complete idiot who doesn't realize how much smoking, drinking, or drugs can wreck you, but if you’re hell-bent on trying them, there’s nothing we can do to stop you. Just don't come crawling back expecting us to foot the bill."
Honestly, that was a total "whoa" moment for me.
I wouldn't call it a surrender—not exactly—but it was certainly an admission. A clear, loud-and-proud "we don't own you." And honestly? Hearing that just shifted something in my head. It made me realize—fine, they didn't know any better. Given the sheer amount of chaos and dysfunction they grew up around, where kindness wasn't even a concept, I can't really blame them for reaching for the wrong things sometimes. I’ve reached a point where I can forgive them for not knowing a better way to live, while still respecting the fact that they never tried to force me into a box. Despite all their messiness and flaws, they always made this effort—however clumsy—to let me be myself, to face the consequences of my own actions, and to actually take responsibility for my life.
Look, we’ve had our fair share of crises—plenty of them, actually. Let’s be clear: they aren't robots, and I'm certainly not one either. We all hit those breaking points where things just fall apart. But in my experience, as long as there is a genuine, underlying drive to actually fix what's broken, things eventually get back on track. The distinction is subtle but vital—it's the difference between saying, "I want us to be okay, so I am going to put in the work," versus simply saying, "I want us to be okay because that's what I want." One is an active commitment to repair; the other is just wishful thinking. And frankly, wishful thinking doesn't fix much of anything.
Generally speaking, I’ve felt that exact same mechanism play out firsthand—not to mention watching it unfold with other people's kids—so I know exactly how well it actually works.
Look, let’s get one thing straight—I’m not exactly here to be your best friend. I’m just doing my job. That said, I have zero interest in being treated like some untouchable authority figure, and frankly, I don't mind being wrong. So, please—don't hold back. If I miss the mark, tell me. I can handle it.
The moment I realized I was in the wrong, I just owned it—out loud. I offered to make things right and actually sat there to listen to their suggestions.
Did it work? Well, judging by how they reacted afterward, I’d say yes. By involving them and actually taking their feedback to heart, I found a way to connect that wasn't just defensive. And honestly? I didn't hesitate to say, "Thanks for helping me out." It might have sounded a little cheesy to them, but for me, it felt necessary.
But here’s the thing—it worked because it was real. That’s the truth of it. They could tell I wasn't just performing or faking an apology; I genuinely meant it. And because they felt that sincerity, they gave me the space to actually fix things.
Look, when a parent tries to "manage" their kid instead of being authentic, they’re failing. Period.
It’s like when you say, "I hear you," while you're miles away from actually understanding them. Or when you mutter "sorry" but you don't mean a single word of it.
Kids are people. We tend to forget that sometimes. We can't expect them to take responsibility for their actions if we don't actually give them the room to do so.
Forcing an apology just because it’s the "polite thing to do" isn't teaching responsibility—it’s just training robots. It's creating followers, not individuals.
We all have egos—believe me, I know—but we also need to have some backbone. Don't try to break their spirit; instead, try to understand them and actually teach them.