Posts by rustywolf65

🤔 looks like they're poisoning us with eggs

boldbadger20 said:I'm not entirely sure where this belongs, but I suppose I'm looking for some perspective on how people might handle a situation like this.

I'll keep this brief: a close family member, an armed robbery, and a conviction.

I guess I'm just wondering if, in your opinion, that person is still worth having in my life, or if any kind of relationship is even worth valuing anymore.

Too little info here.
Was it his first time? Did he go solo or with a crew? Was there a motive? Give us something to work with.
If everyone just cuts him loose, he’s probably gonna screw up again.

Maybe you’ll end up facing a judge yourself one day—say, for a DUI or something. You really want your family turning their backs on you then?

Support for the appeal 😳

wanderingangler13 said:Go get some fresh air...🙂

If you actually put this year in your username, I've got nothing for you but a kick in the teeth.

cosmicorca18 said:It was precisely because of mindsets like yours that I started this thread.

Not only are you projecting, but apparently, you're also psychic.

According to you, my ex is in the right. Sure, paying alimony is easy, but I don't know how you justify him grabbing everything he could, changing the locks on the house, and now acting like some big shot gloating about how he outsmarted me. Does he not realize how much damage he's doing to his own children?
It was a long road from his antics to my lawsuit.

If you actually have experience with a situation like mine and can tell me how it all turned out—and let me remind you, the father doesn't even ask about the kids—then write. If you don't, then just start your own thread so you can vent your opinions on women going through divorces.

I'm not trashing anyone. This is a therapy session, not a legal aid clinic.
In my first post, I already told you that you left out the important stuff. You didn't say anything about the relationship between the girls and their father, other than it being bad. Most of what you wrote was about the new woman and her kids, and how it feels watching them in what used to be your house. Let me be clear: I am not defending the father, if you can even call him that.
If he was really that bad, why didn't you sue him immediately instead of waiting until this new woman showed up?
I'm responding based on what you actually wrote, and you haven't told the whole story.

The point here isn't about how to handle unpaid bills, or maybe it 🤔
Look, I get what she's saying. She's claiming the girls are traumatized because their dad walked away.
Sure, he pays alimony, but in my book, the damage is already done. All I see here is pure jealousy toward his new wife and her kids.
Not once did she mention the girls actually missing their father; it’s all about his cash and his real estate.
As for the alimony, I'm not even touching that—the court made its call.
Dragging everything through the legal system isn't going to fix the relationship between a father and his daughters.
Even if they strip him of everything in court, the soul-crushing trauma won't just vanish. What disappears is the money in his wallet, which is clearly the real issue here based on her tone.
She’s still living in the shared condo. Real trauma is going to hit when she loses half of it.

wanderingangler13 said:"Deep reasons"... please. That happens every single day—men walking away from their own flesh and blood while taking in someone else's kids. Just look around you. Alimony isn't love, sure, but a man who actually cares about his children doesn't struggle with providing for them; I know plenty of decent, responsible guys who never once complained about meeting their kids' needs. If anyone dragged the children into this conflict, it was the father through his own actions. By the way, it's hard to take you seriously when, after 4,000 posts on this forum, you still haven't bothered to master basic American grammar. You could have at least tried.

What does a partner have to do with how a father treats his kids?
I know it happens—either parent turns the kids into clones of themselves and flips them against the other side.
Not interested in arguing here, especially not over typos.
This is a song with bad grammar, but my daughter was happier hearing it than if I handed her a stack of cash.

"Listen, honey, some guys brag about their money"
I just ask them if they're joking.
They go on about being loaded
And all I tell my girl is this:

They don't know what really matters in life
People living in poverty can be richer than them.
Real wealth is the kids
And seeing those smiles on their faces.
Wealth is being a dad
When those kids wrap their arms around your neck.
You and your two brothers are my wealth
And I'm the richest dad alive!

cosmicorca18 said:Typical guy move—cherry-picking whatever parts of the context suit his narrative.☕

Nah, I'm just reading what you write in your posts.
Look, I'm not defending the father if that's how you saw it, but there’s always a massive reason why someone would ditch their own kids to embrace someone else's. Your daughters are adults now, but you guys made your choice and moved on. I doubt you had any say in how they see him. Alimony isn't love. And trust me, growing up without cash causes trauma; it's not about whether a dad loves you or not.☕
I feel for your girls. Dragging them into your drama was a mistake.

I've been with my parents since I was ten. Basically raised by my grandma while they were working over in Germany.
No amount of gifts or money can make up for those years without parents around.
They weren't there when I needed them. That's why material stuff means nothing to me—just look at my signature.

If they actually gave a damn about someone else, maybe they’d worry about their own skin for once. Something stinks here. Clearly, they weren't treating him like a father—there's no other reason for all this lecturing. Just a little suck-up playing both sides. Your posts make it obvious how much you hate the new woman.
And it's clear you passed that resentment right down to the girls. One of them is obsessed with some expensive hobby and acting traumatized, but let's be real: it's not because Dad won't pay, it's because she's starving for his affection.
I'm not questioning child support, but the whole situation is just creating trauma for you, not the kids. The fact that they're pointing the finger at you says everything we need to know.
You don't have to give me your life story, but you're laying out the facts that matter to you while asking for advice.
If you actually want to get him back, you need to lay out the real issues, and you've been glossing over way too much.

cosmicorca18 said:Long story short, I haven't tried to meddle in their business because they're all adults now.
The issues surfaced when their father met this woman on a dating app; he was lonely and wanted someone to take care of him—cook, clean, that sort of thing. But gradually, things shifted. When the daughters would make plans with him, he’d just ghost them because he had to go somewhere with her. Or, if he did show up, she’d be blowing up his phone every hour asking when he'd be home. On top of that, he’d start lecturing the daughters on how they "should" be behaving toward their father...

Her kids are grown, and just like her, they're doing whatever it takes to finally secure the comfortable life they've never had before.

To reiterate: the woman and the money aren't the core issue. I'm asking anyone who has dealt with something similar: how did you get through it? Because even though I'm handling my legal matters, I can't fix the mental clutter and the chaos in my head unless I find a way to process everything internally first.

Divorced, three kids.
I don't let anyone interfere with my relationship with them. You say they had a bad relationship before and it wasn't traumatic, but suddenly they're traumatized now that he stopped paying up? Give me a break.
So what if he calls them or gives them advice? That doesn't change how they feel about their dad.
Now you're back at it again, talking about her and her kids, clearly trying to mess with the daughters' heads.
Everyone deals with disappointment. Some handle it, some look for help.
Money isn't going to erase the fact that a father and his daughters just don't click.
Love isn't measured in dollars. Even if he pays child support, that's an obligation, not love.
It's obvious you've both dragged the kids into this divorce battle. No offense, but I might be right here.

cosmicorca18
A lot of this story isn't adding up. Why did the relationship between the father and his daughter actually fall apart?
Honestly, sounds like you’re just projecting your own jealousy onto the daughter. If I'm reading this right, everything went south the second the new woman showed up.
Who the hell this new woman is or whose kids she's looking after shouldn't even matter here, yet you keep bringing it up constantly.
I'm not saying your reasoning is right, but there’s definitely a reason he suddenly stopped giving a damn about his kids.