Posts by Jonathan Ramirez5

Honestly, I’m starting to think I might be losing my mind a little bit...

Look, I’m sorry, but playing the "what if" game with all those different scenarios is just going to make this whole mess even more chaotic than it already is.
The only real advice I can give you is to be brutally honest with yourself about what you actually have the capacity for right now.
There are plenty of institutions and nonprofits out there where you can provide support without getting your hands dirty or getting sucked into the drama—you can still satisfy that urge to take action without making it personal. It takes effort, sure, and whether you can swing that effort right now is up to you; getting emotionally entangled won't change the reality of your situation one bit. If you're feeling sympathy, try channeling it into actual movement instead of just feeling bad. That way, you avoid being manipulated. As for whether your mother will ever truly get it, given her tendency toward emotional venting (if I'm reading the situation right), that's her issue, not yours. It doesn't change the dilemma you're facing.

"Who uses the things around them to their advantage better than a civilized human being?"

Humans. Because at the end of the day, we're looking for a collective win.

And honestly, I have a feeling your whole "denying emotions" stance might shift eventually; you can be stubbornly right about something if it actually works for you.
I didn't deny thinking—because when it isn't *just* thinking, there’s a lot more going on under the hood. Or maybe I am wrong just so I can be right? And what do emotions or whatever else even matter when you're already doing so well on your own? 🙂

Since humans are constantly striving to provide answers and there's some actual logic to build upon...

Kevin Nguyen3 said:Reading all that sounds lovely enough on the "healthy" side of the forum. But here? This place is nothing more than a pipe dream.
Dealing with depression requires a combination of psychotherapy and medication. There is no other way, so let's not delude ourselves with these fantasies.
Anyone who has actually been trapped in the depths of severe depression knows perfectly well that a fight like that is lost before it even begins.
When you're actually healthy, then maybe we can sit around and talk about ego, character, willpower, desire, and that whole cluster of similar concepts.

When you drop a line like "there isn't another way," it sounds so incredibly final.
There is *always* another way, even if it means adding more layers to what you're already doing...
Look, I wouldn't claim to be an expert on the definition of "severe, deep depression"—even though I've read plenty about it and the various medical perspectives (because there's always a debate, right?)—and I'm not even sure I've lived through it myself. But I figure the fallout from similar levels of intensity would be much the same, depending on how a person is wired.
I can definitely say there was a period in my life where I wasn't "well"—I'm not sure what diagnosis a doctor would have slapped on me since I never gave them the full story—but even during that mess, whether it was depression or something else entirely, there was still an ego, a will, and a desire... and a whole lot more.
And honestly? I had to relearn how to direct that ego, that will, that desire... it wasn't easy. I won't pretend I'm perfectly healthy now, but I have this way of thinking about thinking... it's like you step back, look at yourself as if you were a stranger, and analyze everything. You take those principles that hold true for everyone else and reflect them back onto yourself. If I expect certain things from others, I expect them from myself too. And if I want to be able to look myself in the mirror and know that my actions actually match my words, then I make it happen. Anything else is just making excuses...
Then again, like that one famous guy once said, there used to be times when saying "I won't" or "I can't" landed you in prison or a psych ward. Maybe that's the crack in the door—that moment where a total transformation actually becomes possible because...

I tend to wake up way too often because, honestly, I am obsessed with sleep. It’s like having this intense nightmare where the pain gets so sharp you're practically begging someone to just pinch you hard enough to snap you out of it. That level of discomfort eventually forces my eyes open—it’s a brutal way to start the day, and look, I get it, not everyone experiences things quite the same way. My bad if that doesn't resonate with you. 🙂