Friendships vs. Acting Roles
in Psychology ·
Kenneth Morris57 said:I’m not entirely sure if I picked the right title for this thread... but... anyway, let me just jump straight into the question: why on earth do some people switch up their roles when you're just, say, hanging out with friends?
They sit there and listen to you, totally willing to offer advice and everything, but then—and this is the part that gets me—they go and talk about your situation to someone else as if it isn't some deep, meaningful issue. It’s like they’re treating your life like some trivial little human-interest story in the local newspaper, you know? Just all sarcasm, jokes, and acting like they're somehow above it all!
I actually ended up calling out someone recently because they did the exact same thing to me... and well, they just shut down and got all huffy and offended... almost like I was the one in the wrong here, which, I don't know, doesn't seem right at all. I mean, obviously, I did confront them verbally, but I kept it really polite and civil since that's just how I was raised 😍
It's because, frankly, most people don't actually care. Most people don't feel any genuine emotional weight from someone else's struggles. You're better off being your own man when it comes to solving your problems.
In their eyes, your crisis is nothing more than gossip over morning coffee at Starbucks. It's just another story. There is no real empathy intended to help you; they simply play the part of a friend out of basic social politeness, purely so you won't think they're ignoring you or dismissing your words.
The worst thing you can do is show vulnerability or air your grievances in person. People operate on a principle of social hierarchy and dominance. They watch for moments of weakness, waiting for an opportunity to assert themselves and socially dominate someone who is currently down.
There are only two people who truly assist me with my issues, and they do it best.
One is myself, facing the problem and seeking the solution.
And the other is the positive, creative side of my own mind that generates the resolution or provides the drive to escape the mess.
Everyone else is just there to ensure I don't say anything to them. I won't give them the chance to spiritually wound me or socially degrade me by reducing my significant realities to something insignificant.