Posts by Nathan Foster4

mistycanyon6 said:What kind of unreality? I honestly have no idea what you're getting at. My point was simply that the concept of "normalcy" is incredibly unstable—it’s subjective. What does "being normal" even mean to you?
You were the one who claimed that only a total psycho could ever be with me. How on earth can you say something like that and still be standing?

Look, I don't go around calling people with psychiatric diagnoses "crazy"—and that includes you—so please don't put words in my mouth by saying I claimed only a "crazy woman" could be with you.
And if we're going to talk about disrespecting people with mental health struggles, let's be real: you're the only one here using labels and insults, especially since you're out here throwing them around while carrying a diagnosis yourself.
By your own logic, you think you're "normal," yet you imply that any woman who actually finds you is just "crazy." Makes sense, right? Not really.
Get a grip.
Once you figure out what you actually bring to the table, maybe then you can decide what kind of partner you're looking for. Stop acting like "normal" women your age should just abandon their preference for successful, stable, and experienced men just to give you a shot.

mistycanyon6 said:I see absolutely no reason to answer your questions—it's painfully obvious they were designed solely for you to take pleasure in my misery. Apparently, only a complete lunatic would ever consider being with me. As long as you get to feel "normal," right?

So, according to you, women are either "normal"—meaning they won't touch you because you don't fit the mold of some 30-something guy with a steady career and plenty of experience—or they're complete psychos.
I’m not sitting here enjoying your misery. I'm just pointing out how delusional you are when it comes to what you want and how you look for it.
You ended up in a psychiatric ward with a formal diagnosis, but hey, at least everyone else is just as crazy as you are, right?🙄

mistycanyon6 said:Truly stellar advice. Honestly, knowing that I don't stand a chance with 99% of women—it’s actually quite comforting. It's not like I'm looking for a knight in shining armor to swoop in and save me—I'll pass. But I am angry. There is a level of fury simmering inside me that most people couldn't possibly fathom in five lifetimes—and believe me, I have plenty of valid reasons for it.

Maybe some people have even more than that. Who knows, right? 🙂

So, what’s actually eating at you? Is it that you feel like you just don't have that magnetic pull with women, or is it more that there's just no spark on either side? Is it them, or is it you?

mistycanyon6 said:I have a massive problem. I’ve spent my entire life feeling profoundly alone. As a kid, I was subjected to horrific physical and psychological abuse—the kind of stuff that leaves permanent scars. Naturally, I grew up as someone with zero self-confidence, perpetually anxious and socially stunted. I didn't even have a girlfriend until I was 26. I met her by chance; she was quite a bit younger than me and came from a similar background—her father was an alcoholic and abusive. We were together for six years. She was my first, and I was hers. About a year and a half ago, she left me for someone else.😢

I ended up in a psychiatric ward where they diagnosed me with Borderline Personality Disorder. Since then, there hasn't been anyone else. I've tried going out with a few women—we’ve shared some kisses—but I simply cannot bring myself to have sex. There is this massive, impenetrable mental block inside me that I just can't break through. Believe me, I want to; I crave intimacy so badly that the frustration and desperation are becoming overwhelming. I realize that women my age are typically looking for established men with solid careers and plenty of experience under their belts. I have neither. My self-esteem is non-existent; I don't even have the courage to say "hello." I feel like a total failure—like a "defective product." Physically, I'm fine—in fact, I look much younger than my actual age (33)—but nothing works. If I try to play a part, it feels fake; if I tell the truth about who I am, it only makes things worse.🙂

Why don't you try pivoting? Just start focusing on the people who are actually looking for something else entirely.
Why on earth should you have to overthink everything or settle for "normal" girls just because you spent some time in a mental health facility? Seriously, since when does a stay at a psychiatric ward dictate who you're allowed to date or what kind of partner you deserve? It doesn't make any sense! Why should anyone feel like they have to dim their light or act like a completely different person just to fit in with someone else's idea of "normal"? Does a past struggle somehow invalidate your right to find a deep, meaningful connection? Not a chance. 🤷
Do you honestly think a normal woman is going to want you?
The second you realize someone is hunting for your attention like that, you already know something is off. It doesn’t matter how much they try to play it cool or hide behind a mask of normalcy—you can just feel it. If they're coming on that strong right out of the gate, they aren't stable. Period.

mistycanyon6 said:I have a massive problem. I’ve spent my entire life feeling profoundly alone. As a kid, I was subjected to horrific physical and psychological abuse—the kind of stuff that leaves permanent scars. Naturally, I grew up as someone with zero self-confidence, perpetually anxious and socially stunted. I didn't even have a girlfriend until I was 26. I met her by chance; she was quite a bit younger than me and came from a similar background—her father was an alcoholic and abusive. We were together for six years. She was my first, and I was hers. About a year and a half ago, she left me for someone else.😢

I ended up in a psychiatric ward where they diagnosed me with Borderline Personality Disorder. Since then, there hasn't been anyone else. I've tried going out with a few women—we’ve shared some kisses—but I simply cannot bring myself to have sex. There is this massive, impenetrable mental block inside me that I just can't break through. Believe me, I want to; I crave intimacy so badly that the frustration and desperation are becoming overwhelming. I realize that women my age are typically looking for established men with solid careers and plenty of experience under their belts. I have neither. My self-esteem is non-existent; I don't even have the courage to say "hello." I feel like a total failure—like a "defective product." Physically, I'm fine—in fact, I look much younger than my actual age (33)—but nothing works. If I try to play a part, it feels fake; if I tell the truth about who I am, it only makes things worse.🙂

Are you holding onto some secret resentment deep down because she walked away?
Did you forget how this works? Or do you just need to work on building more intimacy and actually understanding the sexual side of things?

mistycanyon6 said:I have a massive problem. I’ve spent my entire life feeling profoundly alone. As a kid, I was subjected to horrific physical and psychological abuse—the kind of stuff that leaves permanent scars. Naturally, I grew up as someone with zero self-confidence, perpetually anxious and socially stunted. I didn't even have a girlfriend until I was 26. I met her by chance; she was quite a bit younger than me and came from a similar background—her father was an alcoholic and abusive. We were together for six years. She was my first, and I was hers. About a year and a half ago, she left me for someone else.😢

I ended up in a psychiatric ward where they diagnosed me with Borderline Personality Disorder. Since then, there hasn't been anyone else. I've tried going out with a few women—we’ve shared some kisses—but I simply cannot bring myself to have sex. There is this massive, impenetrable mental block inside me that I just can't break through. Believe me, I want to; I crave intimacy so badly that the frustration and desperation are becoming overwhelming. I realize that women my age are typically looking for established men with solid careers and plenty of experience under their belts. I have neither. My self-esteem is non-existent; I don't even have the courage to say "hello." I feel like a total failure—like a "defective product." Physically, I'm fine—in fact, I look much younger than my actual age (33)—but nothing works. If I try to play a part, it feels fake; if I tell the truth about who I am, it only makes things worse.🙂

Honestly, if you ask me, there are really only two types of girls out there worth your time. That's it. Two.
It’s either the "savior" types or girls from families similar to yours. Honestly, both groups just have such a massive emotional component to their personalities. Don't they?
You don't even have to try when you're dealing with those typical girls at the local dive bar or the ones ruling the dance floor at the club. They just show up, look exactly how they want to, and that's it. No effort required.
Are you going to be disappointed right out of the gate, or does it happen later once you actually get to know them?

Look, let me give you a little piece of advice here. I really want to save you from heading down a path that might end up being a total dead end. Why take the risk? 🙂

This sounds exactly like my old man.
Except he actually loves doing it.
And honestly, I’m surprised nobody has called the cops on him yet for making all that noise. Why should everyone else be forced to listen just because he needs to vent his latest mood swing?
We haven't said anything, mostly because we've just learned to tune him out, but someone really should.
People like this should be hit with heavy fines.

quietviper27 said:How fascinating!

The individual who prompted this entire discussion actually comes from a family of very wise parents, which makes this massive decline even more baffling. Sure, maybe those parents made a mistake—perhaps they just wanted to shield their child from the harsh realities of the world by feeding them fairy tales—but now we're left with a fully grown adult who has learned how to just sit there and take it...

So, what exactly is making this person naive?
And what kind of "crack" are they smoking?
If this is supposed to be hilarious, just tell me now so I can move to a sturdier chair before I lose it laughing.

quietviper27 said:Hey,

It really comes down to basic human naivety—that tendency to put far too much faith in others. It’s when someone operates under the delusion that everyone around them is inherently good, kind, or well-intentioned. Or perhaps it's when a person fails to see they're being played, falling for smooth talk just to secure some perceived benefit, only to realize later they were being manipulated... It's that classic case of seeing the world through rose-colored glasses when, in reality, life is much harsher than that.

So, here is my question,

is this level of naivety something hardwired into our DNA, or is it a byproduct of how we were raised, our environment, or simply our lifestyle?
What are your thoughts? Can a naive individual actually develop more discernment and wisdom?
And if so, what is the path to achieving that?

Someone very close to me is incredibly naive, and frankly, it breaks my heart to watch it happen.

Every single naive person I know either had naive parents,
or they grew up with manipulative parents who intentionally raised them to be easy targets
so they could pull their strings even more effectively. 🤣

I'm putting my money on upbringing, environment, and lifestyle.
Genetics? I don't think so.
If you take two average-intelligence naive parents, their kid could grow up to be a master manipulator among a group of scammers if they're taught how to play the game.
It's just like the dynamic between Ezel and Omer in that drama series from a few years back.