hollowpuma762 said:Look, awareness is just realizing there's a problem. Realizing it is one thing, but actually fixing it? That takes actual work.
Hypnotherapy only works if you've got stuff buried deep down in the subconscious.
But you already know way too much already.
At the end of the day, your brain is just a chunk of tissue, and you're the one programming it.*
* Depending on how much time you waste staring at the TV and whatnot.
But what kind of labor? That’s the wall everyone hits when they actually want to solve something. What am I supposed to do? Go it alone?
Trust me, positive affirmations are useless. To me, they feel like amateur New Age mumbo jumbo. I’m not saying all New Age stuff is bad—far from it, I enjoy plenty of it—but this specific method simply doesn't work, at least not for me.
It’s like deciding one day to start repeating that the sky is red, even though you "know" it's blue because you’ve seen the evidence every single day since you were a kid.
If you spend years chanting it like a parrot, maybe your brain will eventually bend to the statement, but it’s like taking an old canvas, scrubbing it with a wet rag, and trying to paint something new over it. You just end up with a muddy mess where neither the original image nor the new one is visible.
Furthermore, even though I can explain this rationally, I feel like something is missing... a root cause or something similar that I need to address before I can even begin to construct useful "positive affirmations." I can't quite pin down that trigger—the specific turning point that led me into this current rut.
I also think the idea that you have to engage in grueling, endless toil to fix yourself is a bit of an outdated way to view personal growth.
I don't know how much people know about hypnosis; most people have a skewed perception of it due to ignorance. Every session is essentially self-hypnosis (meaning you are doing the work yourself, just far more effectively than constantly telling yourself you're great and worthy of love). It gives you direct access to the part of the consciousness that forms those beliefs, providing much better control once the conscious mind is asleep. The reason people seek a second party is the same reason people feel the need to believe in God... the desire for something greater than oneself. It’s easier when you transfer power and agency to someone else... I'm not entirely sure why that is, perhaps because individual responsibility can be overwhelming and paralyzing. If a person is susceptible to hypnosis, they view the hypnotist as an authority with the expertise required to solve their problems. How persuasive and confident that hypnotist acts can significantly impact the outcome, alongside the technique itself.
It is a proven tool for various addictions, and ultimately, the effectiveness depends entirely on how much the individual believes in the process.
The believer's prayers are answered because they believe in the God they pray to.
The pessimist finds life gray because they believe life is gray.
For me, suggestion and autosuggestion have become my alpha and omega. I have significant faith in hypnosis, and I hope to share a success story here soon...🙂 and a solution to my problem!! That would truly be my greatest wish!! 😁
But to get there, I need to find that specific moment or the original catalyst that triggered my low self-esteem and fear of intimacy. It's starting to surface... but my fear of intimacy always felt less like a fear of being mistreated by a partner and more like a fear of being abandoned. That’s why some things don't add up. What connection could that fear have to my parents' relationship, where I secretly wished for a divorce that never actually happened?
And for the record, I’m not pointing fingers at my parents—that was just a joke. I moved past that phase ages ago. This isn't about hunting for a scapegoat, whether in myself or anyone else. 🙂
I’ve been considering seeing a therapist for a few sessions just to get to the core of things, and then perhaps using hypnotherapy to facilitate a smoother integration and resolution. But there's the issue of finding the right professional... frankly, my options feel limited, and what’s being offered doesn't seem quite right. It might be because I’m already so self-aware; I don't need someone to walk me through the basics like a child. If you lose that sense of professional respect, the therapeutic alliance falls apart before it even begins.
Not to mention the sheer number of sessions required. It isn't even a matter of money; it’s simply a lack of confidence in their efficacy.
The impression I get is that the standard psychological approach is a long, slow, grueling slog. That runs directly counter to how I operate; we are a bad match from the jump. 😁
It’s not that I expect a miracle overnight, but if there is a faster, more efficient path, why take the scenic route? There is a certain pathology in believing that if a process is harder, it must be better—and that applies to almost every facet of life. 😁...
So, yes, I believe different perspectives could be incredibly helpful. When you hear something true, you recognize it instantly. Besides, no one knows themselves better than they know themselves; one just needs to be honest.
If I could gather enough diverse viewpoints regarding the roots of this feeling of inadequacy, I think I could finally find the key.
My starting point is this: my parents had a pretty strained relationship. Communication was poor. One parent wasn't necessarily clinically diagnosed, but they were definitely unstable. There was also this pervasive sense of inferiority that manifested through constant criticism directed at everyone—my mother, the kids, friends, even strangers. He was short-tempered and frequently lost control. There was no physical abuse, just a lot of shouting and outbursts. I grew up walking on eggshells because you never knew what might trigger him. For instance, I remember him losing it once because I couldn't draw a 3D table correctly during an elementary school assignment—maybe middle school, I can't recall exactly.
Consequently, I didn't grow up having a normal relationship with my father; instead, I lived in fear of him. Everything felt forced and unnatural.
That is my foundation. From that, I could argue that my low self-esteem stems from his hyper-critical nature. As a child, I never dared to be spontaneous or relaxed; I was terrified of making a mistake. I feared that if I let my guard down and acted like a typical, rambunctious kid, it would act as a trigger and I'd end up getting in trouble.
I can only recall two specific instances like that.
I've carried this for a long time, but as I said, I still feel like I'm missing the "key."
