Posts by Jerry Wilson13

I’m being difficult. I honestly just wish we didn't have to talk or see each other a hundred times a day. 🕺

Jonathan Hayes said:Maybe try asking her to give you a heads-up next time, since you aren't a fan of people just crashing your house or your office? Or maybe just tell her that unless it's an emergency, you're busy and she can't come in. I honestly don't see how any of those phrases could be taken as a personal insult to her character... but look, if you don't set a clear, direct boundary—which doesn't mean you have to be a jerk about it—she's just going to keep "harassing" you.
And yeah, you definitely struggle with direct communication (at least with this kind of stuff). It’s like someone slaps you, you don't react, so they slap you again, and then you act surprised when it happens twice. A bit of a caricature, I know, but you get the point... For people who don't pick up on subtle hints (or choose not to), you have to be blunt, direct, and—if necessary—a little harsh. You're dealing with clingy personality types who latch onto people, especially those who seem to cater to them...

You're spot on with all of this. Especially the part in bold.

Morgan Chase5 said:What the end wrote regarding the delay of the truth is spot on,
besides, you have to feel just as unsettled by your own lack of sincerity—if not more so—than you do by her being so pushy.
There’s a certain element of masochism at play here,
but regardless,
you need to take a hard look at what you’re actually feeling and what you truly don't want.
It isn't enough for people to simply be "nice."
Be honest with yourself first; once you do, telling them how you really feel will become much easier.

Exactly. Everything everyone is saying makes sense. I just wanted to check in with some unbiased people to see if I’m the one with this weird aversion to what might be perfectly normal—or at least not totally inappropriate—reactions from this woman, or if she really has crossed a line. It makes you second-guess yourself. At the end of the day, even if it turns out that I *am* the "weird" one here, I still owe it to myself to be honest before I can be honest with anyone else...

Our main connection points have always been that hospital stay we shared and our kids (since we both have them)... When I hinted that there wasn't enough substance for a deeper connection, I only said it because, honestly, right now—at least when it's just the two of us—we don't talk about anything else. She absolutely lives for talking about her sons; they are her entire universe. So, my conversations with her basically boil down to "my kid this" and "my kid that," and every other branch of conversation eventually funnels back into that same narrow topic.
Sometimes it doesn't bother me, but other times, I am loooosing my mind. My whole life pretty much revolves around my children as it is, so if I have to talk about nothing but that during a coffee date where I'm supposed to be relaxing... what's the point?
When we hang out with the families, though, things are much nicer. The kids play together perfectly, her husband is a genuinely good guy—even funny and entertaining—and she seems to undergo this sudden transformation where everything feels fine. So... I care about them because they are good, genuine people. They seem spontaneous and open, and I don't get the feeling they're being fake. Maybe we aren't the most "soulmate" kind of friends in the world, but I'll tell you, sometimes their company is actually really pleasant.
Unfortunately, everything gets ruined by the fact that tomorrow (right after we had dinner together and spent the previous afternoon hanging out), she calls... and wants to talk again...

I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if the problem is me. But then again, my husband finds it incredibly weird too, and it's started getting on his nerves how she constantly reaches out and insists on hanging out, so I guess it's not just us being crazy... 🤔

Someone was wondering why it's so hard for me to send a voice note... Well, when she showed up unannounced (okay, not *entirely* unannounced, she texted me when she was literally at my front door asking if she could come in... wtf!?) and my house is lit up like the Las Vegas Strip... What am I supposed to say? No, you can't come in. It's just 🙄
And at work? Forget about it... total bust. Just show up and that's that...

Oh, wait, what was I saying... It's hard for me to be blunt because I think anyone would find it difficult to communicate something like this. I'm not dealing with someone I can be subtle with (if I could have managed that by now, I probably would have, since I've tried a hundred times), but rather someone who demands that I be direct and brutally honest. And I shy away from that because I don't want anyone to feel hurt because of me. I can't believe I'm even in this situation! Who else does this happen to?🕺

The idea of me having to go to someone and say, "Look, just chill out a bit, don't call me every single day, you're becoming a burden, blah blah blah..." 🙂 😕 🙂

I’m honestly dreading this conversation. I don't even know how to word it without sounding incredibly harsh.

In the past, whenever I didn't pick up her calls for two or three days, I’ve tried explaining things to her—telling her my schedule is packed, I’ve got too much on my plate, or I'm just exhausted... basically, I've tried every polite way possible to let her know that I’m just not the kind of person who wants to spend every single spare second glued to a friend.

But nothing works. Every time my phone rings, I don't even have to look at the screen to know exactly who it is... 🙂
Even my husband teases me about it now because my reactions whenever I see her calling are just ridiculous. 🙄 We both end up laughing when I finally pick up and she starts teasing me while I'm sitting there rolling my eyes. I end up looking bitter. Or ungrateful. Look, it’s nice when someone takes an interest in you. It’s great to have friends you can actually hang out with... but when it crosses the line of being comfortable, and you start feeling actual anxiety every time you hear a specific ringtone or a notification sound... 😲
Then comes the mental torture of trying to come up with excuses... it ruins my entire day because I know she’s going to keep hovering until she wears me down into answering...

I truly wonder what it is about certain people—people who seem perfectly intelligent and rational at first glance—that gives them such an intense need to force themselves on someone else. That persistent, pushy way of offering friendship. Constantly demanding attention... I try to wrap my head around it, but I just can't. You'd think that if they had lost their sense of social boundaries, they might eventually pick up on the cues from my responses...? How is it possible that she just doesn't get it, and instead forces me to say everything right to her face?

Hey everyone!

A couple of years ago, I had a short hospital stay, and during that time, I met a woman I ended up talking to quite a bit. We swapped numbers, and a few weeks later, she reached out. We went for coffee... then another time... and very quickly, she invited me, my husband, and our kids over to her place. She has a husband and kids too, so... we decided to take her up on the invitation.

After that visit, her reaching out became much more frequent... and everything was fine until about 3 or 4 months ago when responding to her calls and texts started becoming exhausting... 👎
Basically, I’m the kind of person who has an incredibly packed schedule. Between finishing work, kids' activities, household chores, and everything else, I barely have time to catch up with my own mom or a close friend every day... let alone a new acquaintance with whom I don't even share many common interests. Aside from the kids. And that hospital stay.
To put it bluntly, her constant calling has started to really get on my nerves.

The worst part is, if I don't answer, she just calls again. Then she sends a text... then she calls again... and again. She just doesn't seem to realize she needs to back off a little and give me the chance to reach out to her. Does she not realize I'm neither deaf nor blind? I can see when she's calling; I think I know why I haven't picked up (when I haven't). But that doesn't seem to bother her at all. She just keeps going.

Technically, they are decent people. Her husband is a good guy, too. When we hang out, it's perfectly fine... but it's a far cry from feeling like we need to see them this often. We aren't lifelong best friends where this kind of intensity is the norm.
And now, I honestly don't know how to handle this.
At first, I tried coming up with excuses for why we couldn't make it for coffee or dinner, you know, whatever... It’s not that we wouldn't want to visit or host them, but I was trying to ensure it wasn't happening nearly as often as they wanted. Because that pace didn't work for us. But lately, she’s calling almost every single day, sometimes forcing it multiple times a day. It got to the point where I actually felt so repulsed (and angry) that I stopped answering her calls altogether, thinking maybe she'd get the hint or at least slow down. But no. Instead, she sends a text... then a message on Messenger... then calls again. Honestly, what the heck?!🙂🙂

I truly have no idea where this impulse comes from. All I know is that I don't know how to deal with it.
I don't want things to end between us because, over time, she's become dear to me, as has her family. But I feel under this massive amount of pressure because she's imposing an obligation on me to have half-hour conversations about nothing important every day, attend weekly dinners (these are people who celebrate everything, even a cat's birthday), or constantly expect me to show up at my front door unannounced (which has happened!) or even at my office (she would drop by my workplace when she had errands to run at the local clinic).😠

Both my husband and I work, and our schedules are jam-packed. We barely have time to properly hang out with each other, let alone nurture intense friendships with people we hardly know, who insist on this instant closeness...
I have two or three girlfriends whom I see occasionally; they also have hectic lives and families, so they don't pester me excessively. We meet up when it works for us, and we always coordinate around our responsibilities. With them, everything is relaxed, and I never feel pressured or "hunted" by constant demands. But this family is imposing this non-stop...
To give you an idea of how extreme this is, it's probably enough to say that since I met her, I have never—not once—had the opportunity (or even the desire) to be the one to call her. She is always the one initiating contact.

I'm terrified that I'll eventually have to tell her straight up that I simply can't—and don't want to—do things this way.🕺
I don't want to hurt them, and I definitely don't want to cut ties completely.

I feel stuck in this awful spot because she just isn't picking up on any of my signals. At all. It’s either that, or she's intentionally ignoring them—honestly, I can't tell anymore... It baffles me how she finds the energy and the time for such intense hangouts when they're both working full-time, dealing with kids, and don't exactly have nothing better to do than socialize all day...

What would you guys do if you were in my shoes?

😲😲 none.

I think this might actually be the longest post I’ve ever sat down to write.

ruggedskipper11 said:Jerry Wilson13, man, living in the moment and just focusing on today? That’s basically a rebirth. It’s like you can finally breathe!
But me? I’m never in the moment. Everything just feels like it's passing me by because my head is constantly spinning with these negative, out-of-control thoughts.
Back in the day, reading books about all this stuff actually helped. My faith isn't what it used to be, but when things get heavy, you grab onto whatever you can find.
The questions you asked—man, they hit me right in the chest.
To answer where I'm at: honestly, ever since I opened my eyes this morning, I've been terrified. I'm scared of myself—specifically, how I'll react if that certain person doesn't call or text. I'm scared of feeling totally lost and failing at even the simplest daily tasks. I worry about how I'm gonna hide this restless, miserable version of myself from the people close to me. I wonder if I'll burn myself out with all this anxiety to the point where I can't even hit the gym (and honestly, that's the one thing that keeps me sane). Then the spiral starts. I start thinking we won't see each other anymore. I wonder if I messed up, or if they noticed something was off during our last hangout... if they realized I'm struggling.

Look, dear, what you’ve got going on in there isn't something physical or tangible... It's your thoughts. That's all they are. just I've been sitting here thinking about this... just letting my mind wander through all the different angles of the situation. There's so much to unpack when you really dig into the details. It’s easy to take things at face value, but if you pause for a second—really sit with it—you start seeing those subtle layers that most people just breeze right past. I'm trying to wrap my head around the core of it all, weighing the pros and cons, looking for that one piece of logic that makes everything click. It's a lot to process, honestly. Just processing. Thinking.Nothing massive, nothing grand... just plain overwhelming.

What’s on your mind?
What exactly goes into this? What's the actual breakdown?
She’s nothing. One minute you think you have it all figured out... then by the end of that very same day, you've completely flipped your perspective and you're thinking something else entirely. If that's the case, what even is a thought?
Why on earth are you taking them so incredibly seriously?

Just let your thoughts flow... Don't fight them. You're only letting them tear you apart because you're constantly threatening them, battling them head-on. You’re treating them like some kind of foreign invader—something unwanted, something that's going to physically destroy you.

Look, man... those are just thoughts. 😉

They don't mean a thing. They can't do anything. They’re so incredibly tiny and insignificant that nobody else—not one soul—can even see them, hear them, or feel them... And yet, that's exactly why they matter so much.

Your thoughts aren't YOU.
You are whatever you actually are, regardless of what you happen to be thinking about yourself at any given second. In reality, you’re a completely different person every single day. Every single moment, you're someone else entirely—it all just depends on those thousand different variables and tiny aspects that make up a life. If you can actually wrap your head around that, you'll realize just how much massive power you truly hold. It's a power you possess simply because you were born into this world. You need to "own" your thoughts and your feelings. Don't be ashamed of them. Just don't let them end up owning you instead...

There’s no such thing as a "wrong" thought. At the end of the day, a thought is just a thought. Even the darkest, most twisted ideas can't actually hurt anyone—they won't kill or wound a single soul unless you decide to take that step and turn them into an action.

Why exactly are you so afraid that you’ll end up doing something you don't actually want to do?🤔Alright... here’s an example. A thought pops into your head... aha, okay, now you’ve suddenly realized this and that... and then what? So what?! Just let it be. Run it through your internal system—let it weave its way through all those tangled threads of yours until it finds an exit. If it isn't useful to you, if it doesn't actually bring you any peace or comfort, just let it pass. Calmly. Acknowledge that it’s there, acknowledge that it arrived, and simply allow it to find its way out of your system. It’s that easy, really. Just simple and effortless. However it showed up, it’ll just go *poof* and vanish. Especially if you don't give it any "life-or-death" importance...

What is there to be so afraid of? Honestly, I still can't wrap my head around what exactly you're terrified of.

Are you really not going to see him?

Trust me on this one—right at this very second, while you and I are sitting here typing away, there are countless people out there going through heartbreaks three hundred times more intense than anything you’d feel if that person just stopped calling. And you know what? Guess what happens next. Every single one of them is going to stay alive. They’re going to keep breathing... they'll keep laughing loudly... they'll show up to work, find new love, and keep moving forward.
How can you not grasp just how much grit we actually have? We’re absolute savages when it comes to toughness.

At the end of the day, we’re all just human. We all deal with that gut-wrenching fear of failing. It's something we all face.
Just plain disappointment.
Loss.
But look, those fears aren't going to paralyze us. We get it—even if everything hits the fan all at once, it won't break us. It’ll be a total circus. Honestly? A complete, chaotic mess. But let's be real: life isn't just one long stretch of pain. It's not even a month of pure hopelessness or a single brutal year. Life is also made up of those butterflies in your stomach—the kind you feel yourself, even if you're too guarded to actually let yourself enjoy them. It's about those fresh, fragrant springs. It's about the snow falling on decorated streets in a quiet suburb. It's about friends, weddings... the birth of children, that truly divine blessing. There is so much waiting for you... so much beauty. So much greatness.
Just soak in that moment when you feel the spark.

When you find yourself thinking about him, just let that initial rush of infatuation hang in the air for a bit... Don't overthink it. Stick to reality instead. Observe what’s actually happening right now. Focus on the facts—the things that are measurable. Things you can see. Things you can touch...

Stop trying to analyze things you can neither predict nor control!

If it isn't "meant to be," it won't work out. The relationship won't grow. But honestly? That is completely out of your hands. It's out of his hands, too... It all comes down to the "chemistry" in your bodies. It's pure biology. 😉 You can't influence that with your thoughts any more than you could pick up a pen off a desk just by thinking about it. The pen is just there. It sits there. Even if you lose your mind over it, it stays put until you physically move it. Emotions work the exact same way. Either the feelings are mutual and strong enough, or they aren't. You have zero influence over that. Just enjoy those little moments of early infatuation... because they count!! Even if they fizzle out by next week, savor them now. Give yourself permission to do that. You have every right to dream that this is "the one" until proven otherwise.

Can you trigger endorphins in someone else's body using nothing but your thoughts?
No.
So, stop trying to micromanage his emotions... or making assumptions about how he feels.
Try to make your thoughts work *for* you instead. Use them as a catalyst to amplify that initial surge of dopamine... a sweet text... a cute message... a "good morning" or a great cup of coffee... a joke that made you laugh... a solid workout... All of these are things your mind can take and build upon, creating something beautiful inside your own body...
On the flip side, those same thoughts—and all those endorphins—can turn into sludge. You can water them down with fear, frustration, and obsessive paranoia... if you let yourself. If you take them too seriously. If you give them too much room to breathe in your mind...

An old Native American legend tells of a grandfather talking to his grandson: "We all have two wolves fighting inside us constantly. One is white and carries all the virtues. He is good, joyful, affectionate, and kind. The other is black, embodying our flaws. Pride, ego, vanity, hatred, envy." The grandson asked which wolf wins the fight.
The old chief replied, "The one you feed most often."

Feed the positive. Nourish the joy. Let everything else pass through your system... like water going down a drain...
You mentioned you work out...

Well, so do I. 👍

Use that time to sweat out all the negativity.

Don't just exercise for the sake of exercising. Meditate while you do it... visualize those negative thoughts and hit them with your movements. Destroy them. Kick those fears and paranoias away forcefully with your feet... your knees... your kettlebells... 😉 It might sound a little crazy, but try it. Trust me, it works wonders!

Afterward, take a shower. Use a nice lotion. Light a scented candle... Lie down on the couch, smelling wonderful. Close your eyes and try to think of absolutely nothing.
Even if it's just for thirty minutes a day.
Try to focus on nothing except what you hear, see, or feel in that exact second... Give your mind a break.
In those moments, don't even think about him. Turn off your phone. Retreat into your own world where you are the most important person. A place where you will never betray yourself. Where you will always be your own best friend. Rebuild that trust in yourself...
Eat something delicious. Put on music that brings back happy memories. Watch a movie you absolutely love... Be unapologetically kind to yourself. Dedicate these moments to yourself and don't let anyone or anything in this world interfere with this sacred ritual. You have every right to be selfish.

Realize that everything starts from within you.
Everything that is wounded needs to heal. Everything you went through in your childhood (and I'm sure you likely experienced moments that caused you to start fearing everything so obsessively) happened then... a long time ago. Break those ties. Realize you aren't that child anymore... The fears you lived through back then (which trained your body to maintain this level of anxiety just so you know how to function) are no longer real. They aren't reality.

Realize that your mind is basically "manufacturing" these patterns right now. Since those old habits are the only blueprint it recognizes, it’s just making things up out of thin air to keep you stuck in that same old imbalance.

Just see it for what it is. Try flipping the script. Take back the power that actually belongs to you... Understand that if you truly want to, all of this can stop. Right now. The moment you say so. The second you decide.

I’ve gone head-to-head with my own mind more times than I can count. It was a long, exhausting war... and honestly, the fighting isn't over yet. But I finally realized how much time I wasted living exactly how my confused, deceived mind told me to. I also learned a hard truth: nobody is going to fight my battles for me. Nobody is going to win them on my behalf. If that’s the reality, then I have to arm myself and be willing to bleed a little every single day. It’s not easy. There will be highs and there will be crushing lows. Some fights are going to follow you for the rest of your life... But the absolute most important thing is that you keep fighting! Don't you dare give up.
What matters is how hard you try. Every single scratch you earn while trying to reclaim your ground counts. Nothing is ever "in vain."
Just believe in yourself.

I'm not sure if you're a religious person?

Look, this might sound like total nonsense to you—especially if you don't believe in God or some higher power—but if you actually sit with this thought for a second, I promise you’ll find something profound in it.
"Can any of you prolong your life by even a moment by worrying about it?"(Matthew 6:25-34)

It's the ultimate truth.

I've dealt with panic attacks myself (just one so far, but it was intense...), and I’ve been struggling with generalized anxiety my whole life too (self-diagnosed, I haven't seen a pro for it yet)... but reflections like this have helped me reach a point where I just live for today... just for this specific hour I'm in right now. No one is promised or guaranteed tomorrow. You have to accept that, because the truth is bigger than all of us.
It doesn't matter what specific situation you're dealing with right now... you probably feel this way about everything.
If you don't try to break the chains your own mind has wrapped around you, there isn't a single area of your life that won't suffer for it.

You can't control the vast majority of things. And even the stuff you're convinced you *can* control? You have much less influence over it than you think. You just have to be okay with that.

What is the absolute worst-case scenario here?
Seriously... what is the one thing you are most afraid of right now?

Andrew Doyle said:Honestly, the constant barrage of negativity just does something to my head, so I’ve completely opted out. I skip everything—news broadcasts, daily reports, informative talk shows, you name it. It’s all just too much noise, and frankly, it’s bad for my mental state.
It’s become an absolute pattern lately: every single news segment or feature story released over the last few months regarding refugees has left me in tears. I find myself completely overwhelmed by the sheer tragedy of their circumstances; seeing the heartbreak these people endure is simply gut-wrenching.
Look, I’ll be blunt about my approach to this: if there is a way for me to step up and help—if it’s a genuine humanitarian effort where I can make a difference—then count me in. But if there isn't a practical way for me to contribute? Then I'm out. I don't follow the news, I don't watch the coverage, and I certainly don't read the endless stream of tragedy. I’ll occasionally skim through some posts on Facebook just to stay somewhat informed, but that's the extent of it. Quite frankly, I simply do not have the mental bandwidth to sit around absorbing that much suffering. It’s a matter of self-preservation at this point.

That... that was me.
This morning at work, I was scrolling through my first few news feeds on Facebook before actually starting my shift... and then I saw that awful video. My god, it broke me right there on the spot. I spent the next half hour hiding out in the restroom, trying to pull myself together so people wouldn't think I'd completely lost it.

It feels like these tragedies are just jumping out at you from everywhere. It’s like everyone is feeding off the horror, desperate for their daily dose of "breaking news," but I just can't handle it the way they do. I'm not built to just shrug my shoulders and move on. The only way for me to survive is to not look. Not listen. And I am seriously going to try my hardest to make that my new reality...

Ronald Hall5 said:Let’s be real for a second here.
How much does it actually matter to you that 200 families lost loved ones in Paris a few days ago? How much does a refugee crisis impact your day-to-day existence? What's the point of letting yourself be bombarded by bad news that has zero impact on your mood and absolutely nothing you can do about it? When you're carrying the weight of bad thoughts, info, and associations—especially during a rough patch in life—you simply lose the ability to feel in control of your own fate. That sense of POWERLESSNESS is a straight shot to depression. A depressed person is someone who feels like all their ships have sunk; they've lost any sense of agency over their destiny. You need to ask yourself if that feeling of helplessness comes from actual, heavy life circumstances, or if it's coming from irrational fears where you shift your focus from your own life—the only thing you can actually influence right here, right now—onto a massive global scale that you can't control.

If news stories that are basically irrelevant to your life are upsetting you, weighing you down, and draining your energy, then just turn off the TV. Switch the channel. Take back control over what you want, over what uplifts you and makes you happy. Skip the politics and the economic junk; nobody is forcing you to talk about it. You choose which people and what information you let into your space. You are the boss of your own feelings and your own life. You decide. You are free, and that is where true strength, self-confidence, and happiness come from.
Stop stressing over windmills, the whole world, and everyone else. Turn inward. Listen to yourself. Love yourself. Express yourself and do something nice for yourself. Only a person who is satisfied with themselves and full of positive energy can share that energy with others—their kids, their family, their friends. Depressed people, victims, and the desperate can't even help themselves, let alone give anything to others. Those types of people actually need victims to feed on so they can suck out positive energy. They crave tragedy and bad vibes because they feel the need to justify why their lives are so heavy, and they can't stand seeing someone else happy—it clashes with their whole definition of life. Such people feed on bad news, wars, politics, and tragedies. Without that stuff, their lives wouldn't even make sense to them...😉

Look, don't get me wrong—I’m not saying anyone should live in some pink-tinted bubble. Reality sucks. But you have to accept that life is hard and fundamentally unfair. It's a constant grind. If you hear about some tragedy and there isn't a damn thing you can actually do to fix it, just realize that your feelings and your frantic reactions are completely irrelevant. So, stop weighing yourself down with it.

Thanks to everyone for the comments.
You're totally right.

All of those things are completely out of my hands...

It's just... the world is such a mess precisely because everyone feels too powerless to actually step up and change anything... Sometimes my conscience pricks me, making me wonder what I *should* be doing to make things better instead of just sitting here...

I wasn't talking about being powerless in my own life. In my own world, I am incredibly capable and meaningful to my family... I was talking about looking at everything from a global perspective.

I ended up logging off Facebook. I just don't have the stomach for hanging out around that kind of stuff anymore. Maybe I'm a coward, maybe I'm just taking the easy way out... but it is incredibly hard to find joy in a day when you've spent it watching so many ruined, broken lives.

Let's see what time it is... Big Brother is about to start on my channel 😁🤦 And I am going to watch it! Me, the person who used to look down on reality TV, will be glued to the screen for once. And Stephanie 🤣 I seriously need some crackers and spread to go with this...

Staying busy is my survival strategy... hobbies, kids, daily chores...

Honestly, lately I’ve been feeling like social media is doing way more harm than good. It’s just weighing me down. I find myself wanting to shut out everything living, and when the TV is on, I can't move away from the kids' programming. 👍

Thankfully, during the day we try to make sure nothing violent or upsetting pops up on the screen, so we stick to Discovery, science shows, or cartoons... But then, in the evening, we "catch up" by sitting down in front of the news or scrolling the web... and poof.
Everything just goes south... you get hit with a wave of pure gloom.

Ebem, I have this one friend who is a bit of a radical alternative to all this. Her circle is always making jokes at her expense, and the latest "joke" was about how she doesn't even have a TV at home. At all. Let alone the internet & stuff. To everyone around her, it seems bizarre, weird... they're actually horrified.
But honestly, screw them, because that woman always has a smile on her face. Even on the grayest days, she’s constantly chirping about something positive... home cooking, the weather, her plants, music... I get the impression she has some sort of internal shield against all the horrors surrounding us.

I wish I had that kind of grit and persistence—to somehow isolate myself and opt out of everything I can't contribute to constructively...

And I will never, ever understand where people get the motivation to blast negativity all over social media and news sites... as if the world isn't already infinitely saturated and overwhelmed by the exact same thing. 😠😠

Why on earth do I have to deal with this while having my morning coffee on (let's say, Facebook), where I want to see what my family is up to in other states, only to be slapped in the face by a video (that starts playing immediately without even clicking it!!—so incredibly irritating!) showing a father in a war zone hugging his deceased children...

And kill me now, those few seconds of that video literally killed my day. Dead.

I'm off to delete Facebook. 🙂 🙂

So, I’m starting this thread in the hope that maybe—just maybe—the little coping mechanisms you all use in your daily "struggle against reality" might offer some inspiration or a bit of encouragement to me.

It’s happening to me again... I log onto Facebook just to check a quick notification or finish some paperwork, and then—boom—the avalanche hits. It’s like this endless flood of news about everything going on in the world, and it just leaves me feeling bitter. It’s that heavy sense of helplessness... and more often than not, it just turns into pure sadness.

Whether I’m scrolling through some news site, flipping through channels on the TV, or just catching up with my neighbor on the sidewalk... it doesn't matter. Anywhere, anytime, with anyone—the conversation always hits the same wall. It's just the same endless cycle of daily or weekly horrors unfolding across the world.

Since I’m someone who wears my heart on my sleeve—honestly, I’ve always been pretty emotional and high-strung—it hits me so hard sometimes that I just can't seem to pull myself together. It leaves me feeling totally shaken. I keep asking myself: Have I taken things too far? Is this all weighing on me because I’m overthinking everything, or am I just struggling to handle this massive tidal wave of emotion hitting my psyche? 🙂

It’s honestly so hard for me to come to terms with living in a world like this.
I’m not depressed. Honestly, I still find plenty of joy in the little things that happen every single day... I’m fully aware that there’s a silver lining to everything. But, you know, there are just those days where everything feels heavy and I just shut down.

I recently came across this beautiful poem by Jack Gilbert, and I have to say, it actually helped me see things through a slightly more optimistic lens—even if that lingering sense of helplessness hasn't quite faded away yet...

How much does the daily flood of news about all those horrors happening around the world actually weigh on you? Honestly, I find myself wondering how everyone else manages to process it all. How do you even begin to control that influx, or find some way to accept the sheer weight of it?

Thanks in advance for every single post.

Yeah, maybe some people would actually find comfort in reading this poem:

A Brief for the Defense

Sorrow everywhere. Slaughter everywhere. If babies...
It isn’t that people are starving somewhere else—it’s that they are starving right here.
Somewhere else entirely. Just drifting through life with flies stuck in their nostrils.
But honestly, we find joy in our lives because that's exactly what God intends for us.
If things were any different, those quiet mornings right before the summer sun starts to peek over the horizon just wouldn't feel the same.
It’s just been crafted so perfectly. Even The Bengal tiger wouldn't be able to resist it.
It’s just been crafted so incredibly well. The poor Women AT The fountain ara laughing together between The suffering They have known and The awfulness in their futur.
The poor Women AT The fountain ara laughing together between The suffering They have known and The awfulness in their futur
The poor Women AT The fountain ara laughing together between The suffering They have known and The awfulness in their futur.
In their future, they're just there, smiling and laughing even while someone else...
The whole town feels like it’s falling ill. Everything is just... heavy. But even then, there is laughter.
There is Laughter every day in The terrible streets of Calcutta , and The Women laugh in The cages of Bombay
There is Laughter every day in The terrible streets of Calcutta , and The Women laugh in The cages of Bombay.
If we choose to turn our backs on our own happiness—if we actively push away any sense of fulfillment or satisfaction—what are we actually gaining? It feels like a hollow victory, doesn't it? We spend so much energy fighting against the good things, almost as if we're afraid that enjoying ourselves will somehow invite trouble. But resisting joy isn't some kind of moral high ground; it’s just self-sabotage. I can't help but wonder why we do this to ourselves. Is it fear? Or is it just a habit of staying in the struggle because it's all we know?
We tend to downplay just how much they’re actually losing.
We have to be willing to gamble on delight. Sure, we can survive without pleasure, but what's the point?
It isn't about finding some fleeting moment of pure delight or simple enjoyment. That’s not the point at all. What we actually need—what we truly must have—is something much deeper than that.
It takes a certain kind of stubbornness, doesn't it? That refusal to let go of our own joy, even when we're surrounded by something completely ruthless. It’s like a quiet act of rebellion against a world that just wants to grind us down.
The furnace of this world. To make injustice the only...
It seems like we’re all just measuring our own focus by how much we end up praising the Devil.
If the locomotive of the Lord runs us down,
Honestly, we really ought to be grateful that when the end finally comes, it actually carries some weight. It shouldn't just fade out into nothingness; it needs that sense of scale.
We really have to face the fact that, even when everything else is falling apart, there’s still going to be music.
Once more, we find ourselves standing right at the edge, peering out from the bow of a tiny little vessel.
Anchored deep in the night within that cramped little harbor.
Gazing out toward that sleeping island: the waterfront.
It’s just three boarded-up coffee shops and a single, lonely streetlamp flickering in the dark.
To catch that faint, rhythmic splash of oars cutting through the absolute silence... just you and the rowboat.
It’s that slow, agonizing crawl toward something meaningful—reaching out, getting just close enough to touch, only to have it pull back again. You have to wonder: is that hesitation actually worth the wait? Is there value in that rhythmic coming and going, or are we just spinning our wheels?
All those upcoming years of pure heartache.

John Brooks13 said:Hey everyone, I’m having some issues with a cousin of mine. He’s about ten years older than me. I’m just a college student, while he holds some big-shot position at a major corporation like Google. I moved to the city where he lives about four years ago to go to school. In all that time, we’ve probably only seen each other three or four times. We basically only talk to say happy birthday, and that’s it. It’s been weighing on me because, well, he’s my cousin, and this dynamic feels wrong. I’ve actually told him straight up that I don't think this is okay. Lately, I've tried to push for us to hang out more, but he doesn't seem interested. He just ignores it. Everyone makes excuses for him, saying he’s too busy or has no time, but I find it hard to believe someone can't spare time once every couple of months for coffee or to invite me to a family dinner on his birthday. None of our aunts or uncles make an effort either, and neither do I. We should be close, but it feels like we're strangers. It’s really starting to get to me, and I guess I don't know how to just deal with it.😢If I posted this in the wrong spot, just move it, since I couldn't find a place for this kind of thing.

Honestly? I don't think you mentioned that detail by total accident...
I feel like—if you aren't doing it consciously, then maybe subconsciously—you're flirting with the idea that his status might actually benefit you down the road...

John Brooks13 said:Hey everyone, I’m having some issues with a cousin of mine. He’s about ten years older than me. I’m just a college student, while he holds some big-shot position at a major corporation like Google. I moved to the city where he lives about four years ago to go to school. In all that time, we’ve probably only seen each other three or four times. We basically only talk to say happy birthday, and that’s it. It’s been weighing on me because, well, he’s my cousin, and this dynamic feels wrong. I’ve actually told him straight up that I don't think this is okay. Lately, I've tried to push for us to hang out more, but he doesn't seem interested. He just ignores it. Everyone makes excuses for him, saying he’s too busy or has no time, but I find it hard to believe someone can't spare time once every couple of months for coffee or to invite me to a family dinner on his birthday. None of our aunts or uncles make an effort either, and neither do I. We should be close, but it feels like we're strangers. It’s really starting to get to me, and I guess I don't know how to just deal with it.😢If I posted this in the wrong spot, just move it, since I couldn't find a place for this kind of thing.

Is it possible you're being a little too pushy? Maybe your constant attempts to reach out feel a bit "freaky" to him, and that's why he's distancing himself?
You don't need much to pressure someone beyond what their boundaries allow. If he didn't respond to an invitation once or twice, you should have just let things stay exactly where they were.
The guy clearly has a full life and doesn't have the time or energy for coffee dates with you. You don't have to like it, and it doesn't have to feel okay to you. But there are all kinds of people out there. Some people are perfectly content being alone, introverted, or just not very social. This probably (and most likely) has nothing to do with you personally.
Just let it go. Regardless of whatever your actual motivation is for chasing him.

John Brooks13 said:Hey everyone, I’m having some issues with a cousin of mine. He’s about ten years older than me. I’m just a college student, while he holds some big-shot position at a major corporation like Google. I moved to the city where he lives about four years ago to go to school. In all that time, we’ve probably only seen each other three or four times. We basically only talk to say happy birthday, and that’s it. It’s been weighing on me because, well, he’s my cousin, and this dynamic feels wrong. I’ve actually told him straight up that I don't think this is okay. Lately, I've tried to push for us to hang out more, but he doesn't seem interested. He just ignores it. Everyone makes excuses for him, saying he’s too busy or has no time, but I find it hard to believe someone can't spare time once every couple of months for coffee or to invite me to a family dinner on his birthday. None of our aunts or uncles make an effort either, and neither do I. We should be close, but it feels like we're strangers. It’s really starting to get to me, and I guess I don't know how to just deal with it.😢If I posted this in the wrong spot, just move it, since I couldn't find a place for this kind of thing.

🤔
Why?
I would totally understand you if you two used to be incredibly close—like best friends who suddenly drifted apart and experienced this sudden coldness.

Okay.

But from what I could see, you two were never even particularly close to begin with... So what is it that you miss about him so much? I don't get it.

Don't you have enough going on in your own life, girl? Back in college, I couldn't even squeeze my own relatives into my schedule. We lived in the same city, and we only saw each other maybe two or three times total (including one time 😁 ). But I never saw any issue with that.
We were actually about the same age back in the day.
But this guy? He’s easily a decade older than you... I don't even know what you two would have to talk about. Sitting in a college dining hall? Discussing freshman orientation? He moved past that life a long time ago. Besides, he holds down a serious job now, one where I’m pretty sure he’s grabbing thirty coffees a day with all sorts of different clients.

Chillout girl 😉