37 posts shown.
I’ve found this forum getting pretty dull lately because it’s mostly just trolls starting threads that aren't worth anyone's time, and I honestly can't believe people actually take them seriously.
I suppose the moderators just let them stay to keep some level of activity going, though it's hard to believe they don't see right through them.
Lawrence Evans3 said:I honestly never quite wrap my head around why people jump into threads to comment when they clearly haven't a clue about the subject or don't have any skin in the game. Regarding your specific take, look—I respect your opinion, I really do, but you're just plain wrong here. Everything needed to understand the situation was laid out right there in the original post.
Do I know you from somewhere? 😁
Just a heads up, a bruised ego can leave quite a few wrinkles, so watch that facial expression.
This will be my last post to you. 👋
dustynomad15 said:Look, you said you’re against practicing specific movements because people should just be "natural" and stay true to themselves, right? Well, all I'm trying to say is that it can get super awkward if you've got an issue with how you carry yourself—like, imagine you're trying to give someone a polite smile, but your face ends up looking like you're being forced to obey a drill sergeant. In cases like that, I think it's totally fine to practice in front of a mirror! Because honestly, having a mismatched expression can cause all sorts of headaches in your private life, out in public, or even at work... You've gotta know how to present your emotions, your facial expressions, and your body language in a way that actually makes sense. That’s a skill, plain and simple. It doesn't make you fake or insincere; it just means you know what you're doing.
I don't recall saying I was against practicing movements; I just meant it can feel a bit pointless sometimes. I'm certainly not against anyone doing what works for them.
If someone can pull off a forced smile while still coming across as natural and positive to others, more power to them! 🤷
dustynomad15 said:But on the flip side, if you're actually feeling that way, it makes sense to "project" it onto your face, otherwise you're just confusing everyone around you. What happened to the author being who they say they are? Like, what if someone else is laughing and people think you're making fun of them, and you're just sitting there like, "yeah, this is fine"?!?
I'm not quite following your logic. 😕
Just show some facial expression. 😬
Jose Carter2 said:😂
Most Americans are pretty bad at facial expressions anyway; they usually only have two or three settings. 🤷
When you're a guy, society starts drilling it into you from day one: don't show emotion. When I was little, maybe five or six, the older guys were always on me... "Don't cry, boys don't do that," or "Don't act like that, boys don't do that." 🙄
Eventually, you just learn how to maintain a poker face.
I spent most of my time practicing my eyes and my gaze... I can pivot from "pretty boy" to "total psychopath" in a second. 😂
That honestly sounds so gross to me. And it's not just an American thing.
The constant "don't do this, don't do that"...🙄
I remember my aunt once told me I hugged and kissed my son too much because... men aren't supposed to be affectionate like that! WTF?! 🙄
It's the perfect recipe for creating an emotional wreck.
As for practicing movements, I've definitely noticed when people do that—when you can tell a gesture is rehearsed. It feels so fake to me. I remember girls doing it back when we were younger, like practicing their "sultry" looks in the mirror. 🤣
That kind of stuff just feels weird to me, I guess. 🤷
Just be yourself. If someone doesn't like it, let them walk away. It works as a great filter.
The only thing that seems useful is doing facial exercises, just so your face doesn't lose its tone over time.
Jose Carter2 said:The face is made up of tons of muscles, and if you don't actually use them, they atrophy. When that happens, your ability to show "facial expression"—or what I’d call facial animation—really suffers.
I used to have this permanent scowl, looking like some cold-blooded hitman, simply because I wasn't using those muscles... they just went stagnant.
But by working those muscles, I managed to trade that angry glare for a friendly look. Now, I can control my expressions quite well.
Plus, you feel better when you see a more positive version of yourself in the mirror, and people tend to find you a lot more approachable.
I still maintain that we are what we think. When certain facial muscles atrophy, it’s a sign you haven't been able to move them for a long time, suggesting you weren't happy—and people can sense that, whether you try to force a fake smile or not. You can tell a lot about someone's life story just by their wrinkles. At the end of the day, eyes are what truly reveal a person's inner self through their "aura." You can smile all you want, but if your eyes aren't smiling with you and you aren't projecting positive energy, the effort is wasted. That's what people notice about us. A person's energy is felt even when we aren't looking directly at them.
Lawrence Evans3 said:@JustinPapar gave you some solid advice right there. You really need to practice in front of a mirror. The trick is to actually visualize a specific scenario in your head and then try to mimic the expression that would fit that moment while watching yourself. It might also help to pay closer attention to how other people carry themselves in different situations. Just watch them carefully and try to learn. Facial expressions are huge and they communicate so much, so I wouldn't take this lightly if I were you.
😕
Practicing in a mirror... now what?
Are we supposed to walk through life constantly overanalyzing our own facial expressions? Like, turn ourselves into robots or something? Life is already complicated enough without adding that to the mix.
I'm a believer in just trying to maintain a positive mindset—that usually takes care of your expression naturally. If it doesn't, oh well. That's just who we are.
I don't know, it seems like the easiest thing to do is just jump into the thread and judge the author because, apparently, we aren't thinking or feeling exactly the same way they are.
It’s hard for most people to truly step into those shoes, regardless of whether they've been through something similar themselves.
I’ve been caring for my grandmother, changing her diapers and dealing with all the mess, and honestly, it’s heartbreaking because I just feel so much pity for her. At the same time, she feels so diminished because she’s being cared for by the very person she used to dress when she was little—someone she would have done anything to avoid being in this position with. It’s such a heavy situation when you're both acutely aware of how much things have changed. There's just this mutual sense of discomfort on both sides.
But how do you even deal with someone who is completely oblivious to everything happening around them? I honestly don't know; I’ve been trying, but I just can't seem to see things from their perspective, so I'm stuck on how to handle it.
It’s a tough spot to be in when you're torn between your own sense of morality and watching your own life fall apart because you've chosen to care for someone. It feels even more complicated when there isn't much of an emotional bond to lean on. Regardless of how things ended up this way, the reality is just what it is.
I remember my grandmother’s neighbor who had a child with Down syndrome along with several other kids. She was a sweet, gentle woman, though she wasn't exactly the most organized or tidy person—but you could tell she loved her children, at least on the surface. Medical professionals actually recommended that her child with special needs be placed in a specialized facility where they could get proper care and schooling. However, she fought against it tooth and nail, insisting, "I'm not giving up my child; this is where they belong." But honestly, the situation was heartbreaking. The child was so neglected that it was painful for any of us to even look at her. Based on what doctors said back then, she wasn't expected to make it past a few years.
That child was such a mess—so unkempt and unpleasant to be around. Since nobody ever bothered to step in and parent her, she just grew up doing whatever she pleased. She’d show up at everyone's house looking disheveled and smelling terrible, constantly touching people or their kids and pestering them with endless questions. And no, she didn't pass away like everyone predicted. She's still here, forty years old and struggling. Over the years, she developed epilepsy, so she has these seizures in public without anyone watching over her. You'll see strangers picking her up off the sidewalk when she's in a bad state, often covered in blood. It’s heartbreaking, especially considering how her own mother prioritized watching TV shows or grabbing coffee with neighbors over actually looking after her. Her face is always scarred from constant scratching and being so unhygienic.
Ever since she hit puberty, she’s become so aggressive toward the neighbors, but nobody can say a word because everyone just excuses it by saying she "isn't herself." She was basically left to her own devices, wandering wherever she pleased. She'll walk right into people's homes in the middle of lunch and then act completely unhygienic—picking her nose or touching herself inappropriately—only to turn around and touch people, kids, or the food with those same hands. Her mother is often right there too, which makes things even more awkward since no one feels like they have the right to speak up. And if anyone actually tries to set a boundary? She lashes out, swinging at eyes or even biting.
If she had been placed in a specialized facility, she would have actually learned some useful skills and been around people who truly understand her. I honestly believe that—she’s much more capable than people give her credit for. If she hadn't stayed with a mother who didn't provide the right support, she could have had a much better life.
I think if you haven't personally walked in someone else's shoes, you shouldn't judge them for making a different choice.
The only thing that seems misguided about the author's perspective is this obsession over not providing grandchildren for his parents—as if that’s the ultimate failure. He isn't the first person to feel this way, nor will he be the last. If having kids was truly his priority, it would have happened. But forcing a child into existence just to satisfy a grandparent's desire feels wrong. It sounds like he spent life drifting without a plan, just following whatever felt right in the moment, only to suddenly face reality when time starts running out. It's also a bit sad to hear him looking for someone just to handle the cooking and cleaning. Is that really why people seek a partner? Is it out of a sense of duty, or because they can't manage things on their own? Just some food for thought.
No, he isn't obligated to throw his own life away for his brother. It should be a choice made out of kindness. If the brother isn't even aware of his surroundings and there's no emotional connection, it’s hardly a "sin" to move him somewhere he might actually be better off. Why ruin one life just to try and sustain another? Regardless of where he is, the brother's emotional state will likely stay exactly the same. The priority should be ensuring he gets proper care and isn't being neglected where he is now.
Joshua Sanchez3 said:From my early twenties until my mid-thirties, I never went more than a few months without having a woman in my life. I was always seeing someone.
Now that I’m married and finally feeling somewhat established, I’m starting to realize that I’m actually just a loner at heart. I’m at my best when I’m just hanging out at home by myself, or maybe wandering through some desolate desert or empty wilderness without anyone tagging along.
The whole thing—constantly worrying about someone else, making excuses, explaining myself, walking on eggshells so I don't say the wrong thing, or just trying to meet all those social expectations and obligations... honestly, I'm just over it. I couldn't care less.
Or maybe I'm just losing my mind. 😁
To me, this sounds like you just tied yourself to the wrong person. 🤷
Andrew Doyle said:I am asking you to please clarify what you mean by the bolded part. What exactly are these "overly intimate gestures" you're referring to?
Everything you need is right there. I'm not sure why this topic keeps coming up again.
Angela Sanders3 said:My gynecologist is based in a different city, and since I'm 124 miles busy with college classes all week and working weekends, I really can't find the time.😢
Thanks everyone for the replies! I'll check in with him once I can get some other doctor recommendations, because there’s no point in worrying about pregnancy if I'm not even having sex.🙂
If you aren't active, just take a break from the pills. It sounds like they definitely aren't agreeing with you.
It might also be a yeast infection.
Just to be safe, try putting some crushed garlic in your pizza and let it sit overnight. Garlic is great for fighting fungus, and it won't hurt you if you don't have an infection. Better safe than sorry!😉
Nicholas King said:Do the math on what’s actually cheaper: buying lubricant or dealing with a pregnancy if you stop taking your pills.
Wait, why would anyone need lubricant unless they were already going through menopause? 😕
Birth control can definitely mess with your hormones, which might be why you aren't feeling that spark with your partner lately. If things keep going this way, it might be worth switching up your prescription or just using condoms.
I think this discussion belongs in the Health subforum.
Parenting starts right from the cradle.
While kids need plenty of love and attention, we shouldn't overreact to every little tantrum; sometimes, we actually give them too much focus.
Instead of just eating, getting changed, or napping, babies are often passed around constantly. We jump at every single sound they make... it's just overkill. This is why so many kids struggle to sleep deeply, and when they do, it's restless. It leads to nervous, spoiled behavior, and that's how the cycle begins.
Kids learn best through play, motivation, praise, and rewards.
If you want to instill good work habits, turn it into a game. Make cleaning up toys feel fun, but ensure they still take responsibility for their own mess. Start small, start early, and always make sure to offer praise when they succeed.
Consistency is everything. There are certain boundaries that should never be crossed—period. And then there are things they can earn through good behavior.
Of course, all of this should be balanced with plenty of playtime and affection; that part is essential.
If you start setting boundaries early—in doses that a young child can actually handle—you won't have to worry about massive behavioral issues later on, even during the teenage years. It’s all about those early foundations.
Fill their lives with love, open communication, and really listening to what they have to say. Guide them through conversation so they learn to reach their own conclusions. Answer their questions honestly instead of saying, "Because I said so," or "You're too young to understand." You have to gauge what a child can grasp at their age and provide an answer that is truthful yet age-appropriate.
When a child lies, address it in a way that makes them reflect on their actions, and show them why honesty matters. Education is a gradual process; it doesn't all happen in preschool or elementary school.
From a very young age, we should be instilling moral values and teaching them that everything in life must be earned.
Unfortunately, we are raising a generation of "little princes and princesses" who think the world revolves around them. In the past, parents might not have been as educated on child development, and while they may have had less structured time, they often spent more quality time with their children. Nowadays, kids are being raised by the streets, or more accurately, by the internet. Even though modern American parents are more aware than previous generations, they often lack the time to truly connect. When they do spend time with their kids, they tend to spoil them out of guilt. We reward children with material things instead of genuine presence and love. What does that teach them? That everything falls into their lap, and that having stuff is more important than simply being.
I really wonder what the future holds once today's children grow up.
In my experience, punishment isn't all that effective. Prevention is the most important thing—building those foundations I mentioned. And by foundations, I don't mean overloading a child with so many chores and responsibilities that they don't even get to be a kid.
It's all about finding that balance.
Waiting until puberty to start implementing discipline is far too late. Honestly, I think puberty is just when the true results of a child's upbringing finally become visible.
By the way, Windel wrote an excellent post.
I usually try to keep my posts brief since I'm not the most loquacious person, but I hope I made sense.
Andrew Doyle said:I’m not going to get involved in a feud with a condescending egoist; that’s a mess for the two of you to sort out... if you even can.
Regarding people and the whole concept of trust... honestly, it is incredibly, painfully difficult. It’s especially hard if you’ve been burned before—and I don't mean just once. I’ll tell you what I know from my own life: thank God I finally met someone who actually had the patience to deal with me. Someone who survived my inner demons, kept his cool, and stayed right by my side despite everything. 😲 He stuck with me even after I practically drove him away because I was terrified. I was scared of commitment, scared of love, scared of actually giving anything to someone else. Honestly, Zeus, I have no idea what I did to deserve it, but I was given the chance to truly be myself and experience a healthy, positive relationship where nobody is trying to tear the other down or hold them back. In fact, we have both become better, more grounded people since we started this journey together.🙂
This is beautiful. I truly hope it stays this way for you. 🙂
granitefalcon26 said:Now, let's play devil's advocate for a second.😂🤣
You have two kids. You haven't had much chance to travel. Everything you earned went straight toward them. Those are just the facts. 😁
And calling women names like that is just plain disgusting.🙄
It's funny how you seem to know my life better than I do—where I could go, what I earned, and what I spent.
👋
granitefalcon26 said:We've actually covered this before.😉
They're just jealous because we're out living our best lives while they're stuck in the daily grind.😁
The truth is, since I'm married with a kid, my travel options are basically limited to watching Discovery Channel from my couch.🙄
My parents poured everything they had into my education and my future, and I'm incredibly grateful for that. But honestly, if we didn't have that family property on Maui, we wouldn't even be able to afford a summer vacation.
Nowadays, having kids feels like signing a massive 30-year mortgage. If you're lucky, you might squeeze in a week at a little resort by the Mediterranean Sea, and that's about it.
🤣 They certainly gave you a great education, though I wish they had focused a bit more on your manners too.
That guy went off to a few places just to prove he's the big shot. 🙄
Do you really think we're all broke? There are plenty of people out there making great money who still know how to enjoy life—they aren't spiritually bankrupt like some folks on this forum.
If I were as jealous as you and actually started listing everything I've accomplished and all the experiences I've had—with or without kids—you’d just crawl back into your hole and leave only your nose peeking out.
I have such a wonderful connection with my two amazing, grown children. They’re both independent and living on their own now, but we have this incredible relationship that truly enriches my life—honestly, it brings me more joy than a million dolphins, tropical beaches, or cheap thrills ever could.
Sure, we're all just jealous of you. Honestly, I can only feel sorry for you since you're acting like a thirteen-year-old despite claiming you're an adult. To you, a relationship clearly isn't what it's supposed to be.
Edward Nguyen2 said:Wait, so you're telling me most guys are totally logical even when they're falling for "hot women," even the geniuses? 😲
Yeah, right. That's why the whole beauty and marketing industry exists—because men are such incredibly rational creatures. I'm not saying women only dress up for guys, but yeah, it definitely helps. I remember reading somewhere that a guy's brain basically shuts down when there's a really attractive woman nearby. So much logic going on there.
I never said "most." Like I said before, it's pretty pathetic when people let their instincts run their lives.
Edward Nguyen2 said:Man, if people actually matched up based on logic instead of just pure instinct—heaven knows where we'd end up.🙂
It’s tough for those who just let their instincts drive everything.
granitefalcon26 said:Jealousy is just a nasty habit.😁🤣
Don't troll, you're just being boring.
It's already pretty obvious why you're single, and honestly, it's probably better for women if things stay that way.