Posts by bluetinker11

Good luck 🙂

I have zero interest in people mourning my passing—or even feeling sorry for me.

Material things mean nothing to me; I just want the people left behind to smile when they think of me 🙂

I enjoy joking around about sex, but I don't do it in every single social circle—so I doubt I'm causing nearly as much of a scandal as you are. On the flip side, I swear my ass off (😳), but I fail to see the connection between profanity and having "unfulfilled desires" 🤔.

Look, I'm not exactly an angel—but yeah—shit, damn, hell, fuck, what the hell, give me a break... that kind of thing 🤷
.
I wouldn't go so far as to say my vocabulary is limited—it’s not like I can't find a better way to say "what the hell are you doing" —it's just... sometimes the words just fly out too fast.
Of course I have a filter; I can act like a total lady when the situation calls for it 🙂, I just don't feel like performing when I'm not 😬.

Tbh, I haven't really viewed swearing as some sort of issue because... I don't even think about it 🤔. It's just how I express myself, and aside from "bad upbringing" (🤣), I don't see any other reason 🤷.

Jack Smith4 said:Must be nice. Honestly, I don't even know which meds caused my mess, and I've cycled through enough pills to stock a pharmacy. At this point, I'm not even sure I have the mental energy left to keep playing trial and error, waiting months just to see if something actually works...

I feel absolutely thrilled by what you quoted there.

Jack Smith4 said:Man, I'm seriously hitting a slump right now. 😢

I don't think so.
I've definitely been through those phases—blaming myself for everything—thinking if I’d just acted differently or started sooner, things would be different. When you're on meds that just don't fit, you end up feeling exactly like this. I was a total zombie—taking 12 mg of Risperdal a day on my 45kg frame, mixed with 5mg Xanax, Aketon, and Seroxat—just completely numb. No emotions, no nothing. Just empty inside and a zombie on the outside.
And let me tell you, I was stuck in a whole different kind of hell until the right therapy finally clicked.
Now, I can actually feel the full spectrum of emotions again, though it hasn't been that way for a long time. When it first started coming back, it was... weird. Like, "Wait, I actually have feelings, interests, and desires—I'm not dead inside" 😲🤣.

I don't feel any regret. My only real regret is that I even need them in the first place—because, obviously, I’d much rather just be healthy.
Since I actually started taking them for a specific reason (and a specific goal), I have to admit the pros and cons are pretty evenly balanced—though the benefits still win out for me.

After about five years of playing tug-of-war with different medications, I’ve finally hit that sweet spot with my combo—I don't feel empty anymore. Yeah, there were phases where I tried to quit everything at once, and let me tell you—it was a disaster, both physically and mentally.

With this current regimen, I’ve actually managed to fall in love, get over a broken heart, find bits of myself again, and enjoy the little things. I’ve even learned to forgive others (and myself)—stuff I could never have done while stuck in the absolute hell of depression.

Look, I’m not "pro-meds" and I’m not "anti-meds"—everyone is an individual, and what works for me won't necessarily work for someone else. In my opinion, the best way to handle it is to make your own calls in close cooperation with your doctor.

But if we're talking long-term health—beyond just the initial guilt of starting pills—the biggest thing is that I’ve owned my mistakes and moved past them. It is so much easier to live when you aren't spinning in circles of self-loathing over things that happened ages ago.🙂.

I wasn't even looking for a fight over this data leak (which isn't even linked to this account)—I just wanted to explain the situation.
I closed my DMs, so if they want to go around sharing stuff, let them have their little fun. It’s not like it matters—if someone is operating from a burner account, there’s zero emotional attachment to a throwaway handle anyway.

Fine. Thanks for the input. 👍

It was about private messages—someone leaking my own personal info. I don't want to (and honestly, can't) share those details here—like my email address, which follows the name.surname@... format. I didn't report it because I have no desire for every single moderator to go through that message, and last time this came up, they said all mods get notified anyway.

Again... What’s written above is just one example via mobile—trying to dig up posts from someone you've already blocked without a search tool is a massive pain.
I was just wondering what we "bad actors" are supposed to do when we keep running into the exact same situation over and over. Can we just write that "clones are provoking us"? 😁

Look, realistically, this isn't the most important thing ever—it's just incredibly frustrating being penalized for a post I'm technically not allowed to discuss or even reference, lest I get hit with another strike. Because of "insults." Because of "commenting." Because of "quoting a flagged post."

After you've tried being nice, trying to joke it off, ignoring them, sending a PM, and eventually getting downright rude—and absolutely nothing works... Well, I had to try it here, damn it.

I don't care about ignoring trolls or "getting even," but I have no idea how to deal with someone who refuses to understand anything—subtle, direct, or otherwise.
I'm not entirely sure when I got the strike, but they've been on my ignore list since the day I wrote the post—the actual strike came a bit later, probably around New Year's—and this whole thing is resurfacing today... God, how much time has passed?
Not that I've even posted on the forum until today.

Which reported post?
Let me be clear—the issue isn't that specific post, it's the whole damn situation
. I started hunting down clones once they began leaking my private info. And honestly, what kind of "just suck it up and stay quiet" logic is that? I didn't get banned because you guys were being generous—I didn't beg for a pass—so I don't feel any obligation to play nice just because you're framing this as some sort of favor 🤷.

This is FEMA, and I’m here asking a question
. The answer still hasn't quite hit the mark—I need to know if I should actually report *those* kinds of posts, or if they won't be banned anyway (in which case, I'm just wasting everyone's time by clicking the little triangle icon)
.

Matthew Anderson said:The post is already flagged—what are we even debating here?

I already told you—you can report posts to the moderators since this chat isn't really being monitored. Besides, officially calling out some random user or a specific flag—it’s pointless to try and get someone banned over it.

If Nika wants to flag that post, go ahead; personally, I don't see anything that warrants a violation.

That post isn't the problem—the real issue is this whole "everyone is a villain" nonsense.

Matthew Anderson said:Don't blame me because you guys won't report those posts in the chat. I’ve hopped into the chat at least ten times—and I even explicitly said, "The chat is moving too fast to monitor, so just hit the report button or DM me"—yet how many reports actually come in? Hardly any. Why? Because everyone prefers bickering amongst themselves and praying to God the mods don't notice.

If there are posts where specific users or certain clowns are being targeted, go ahead and report them. But expecting mods to sit there reading a chat that updates every single minute just to hand out bans like, "Oh look, some user got banned, tee hee hee"—absolutely not. We aren't doing that.

So, you aren't going to read the chat and you aren't going to ban anyone? Then what's the point of even bothering to report stuff?

What's the takeaway here?
Should I just pack it in and go home?

I'm not trying to stir up drama, but I also refuse to let someone walk all over me for months only to be painted as the villain when I finally tell them to get lost. I mean, sure, I might be a bit much—but I wasn't exactly unprovoked.

By the way, when I'm writing a post about someone I'm banning, I'll be using "we" since somehow my private info was leaked, allowing people to harass me both here and over on RL.

Quoting a boxed post? Really?

Zayn said:I just studied the mantras before the exam, not the actual terms.😁

But hey—according to everyone else—I’m supposedly trash anyway, just because I’m pathetic, rather than being pathetic because I’m actually 😁 😁 🤣
...

So my insults are the problem, while the other side gets to be all sweet and innocent?

Zayn said:Yeah, because everyone else runs for the hills once they see the kind of hate and judgment certain individuals you tolerate here are ready to dish out. I mean, come on—volunteering at a local soup kitchen is basically a vacation in Hawaii compared to this.

Just because some people think they have the right to attack someone they don't even know—someone who hasn't done anything wrong to them, like what happened to me in this chat yesterday. There will always be psychopaths like that, but the way everyone else pretends nothing even happened? That’s the real failure...

Enough time has passed for me to cool off and think things through... and I've concluded that it's worth pointing out that your posts are worthless. This is the perfect breeding ground for bullies. If anyone was bothered by my sense of humor in this thread, they could have communicated that in a much more human, decent way instead of labeling me as someone unworthy of friendship or proximity—only to then lecture me and immediately go back to casual small talk.

The US is honestly a place best avoided whenever possible... No amount of solitude can be as cruel as an audience lurking here, just waiting to devour an "easy target."

Look, I said I stand by what I wrote—I’m not backtracking or denying it. I stated my piece knowing full well the consequences, and I pointed out that the whole thing is still visible in the chat (since the post wasn't actually deleted, just sanctioned, if I recall correctly).

And her constantly bringing up another user's ban is perfectly fine, too? Apparently, I can go around claiming clones are provoking me, but she gets a free pass? I'd say that's a bit more mild than "malicious people being abusive."

If you're observant enough to track exactly when and how I snap at people, then you should have noticed her MO from the jump—she's been stirring the pot on the US boards since her very first chat post.

Honestly, good luck staying sane when someone drags out something you said for over a month just to keep the fight going.

I've clashed with plenty of people—I'm not proud of it—but we usually stop the back-and-forth once things escalate, mostly because it leads to sanctions 🤷.

Something like this.

It starts off pretty basic (even if it's the same old story).

Zayn said:My point was—not that any forum user interests me, quite the opposite—most are actually repulsive to me because of the hostility they showed me in the past...

And since I'm a lurker 99% of the time, I figured I finally qualified to weigh in...

And then something like this happens:

Zayn said:There was all sorts of stuff here...

From people snapping at me about how I don't deserve friends, all the way down to blatant swearing and insults directed at me...

Granted, the trolls were sanctioned... But it still leaves a bitter taste.

So, I know exactly what kind of personalities hang out on these pages—people like that are precisely why I’m truly glad to be alone...

That part about my desire to throw her under a train—I'll have to dig that up later since it was back in November or December, and I really need Google and my PC for it.

I should mention that I even told her via DM to leave me alone, but it didn't help. The DM ended up being ignored, while the provocations kept coming.

Then, when I said I wanted her and those other cult-like clones to "get lost," I got hit with a ban 😁.
Completely deserved—and completely provoked.

I have a question—and since I can’t drop links right now (searching via mobile is a total nightmare without a search bar), I'll just explain.

Is it actually allowed to repeatedly comment on or bring up someone else's warnings/bans?

The whole situation is ridiculous, but honestly, it’s driving me insane.
A few months back, some clone showed up in the US chat acting all "people are evil, people are trash, I'm doing drugs"—after getting a pretty harsh reaction from users, they were banned, but she just kept being toxic.
Since then, she’s basically latched onto me—in a really unpleasant way—making comments about how I'd throw her under a bus or whatever. After saying "leave me alone" plenty of times, I finally wrote one long, decidedly unfriendly "back off" post. I got a warning, fine, no big deal. I didn't complain; I knew what was coming.

What I don't get, though, is why mentioning those two warnings (and the ban) is permitted in almost every single thread.
I have her on ignore, but I still get notifications that I'm being dragged through the "lurker thread."
How much longer does this go on?

Of course, it’s always wrapped up in some "people are evil" rant, so even if my username isn't explicitly tagged, it's glaringly obvious who they're talking about. Since when was this okay?

Seriously, for over two months, these drama queens have been haunting the threads I hang out in, constantly painting me as the villain.
What am I supposed to do? I'm reaching my limit here, but I really don't want to lose another 500 points when my attempts to shut her down haven't worked anyway.

If anyone needs the links, I'll post them this afternoon, but for now, the drama is still playing out in the chat and the vent thread.

thanks 😉

P.S. I’m really not interested in debating this with anyone who doesn't actually have the power to change anything about it.

I’m not even sure if people still do this—and look, I know I’m not in any position to be the exception here, which is why I’m posting this publicly instead of sliding into anyone's DMs. Whether they lock this thread or not, I am officially stepping away from it. :dramatic:

The whole "gray zone" discussion was off the rails from the jump. Look, I didn't come here to get verbally lashed or lectured, but I'm certainly not looking for some amateur psychoanalysis or for people to take shots at my upbringing. I've tried to stay subtle (mostly 😬) and polite—within reason, anyway—but honestly, I've had enough.

This thread has gone on for pages, and frankly, I have zero interest in reading more insults about how "stupid" I was to find myself in this situation. Between the mods—and I really don't know what MajaMama thinks she's doing, though she might be better off staying out of it—and the claims that I'm just an egocentric attention-seeker who doesn't deserve to be upset by what happened... it's exhausting.
Again, I’m not asking for a sainthood, but I refuse to be insulted under the guise of being "clueless." How else am I supposed to frame this?
And don't even get me started on how my current personal life and the topics I write about are being twisted to suggest this is all somehow my own fault.

My goal was simple: a genuine exchange of experiences so someone in a similar spot could see they aren't alone. What this thread has devolved into is a disaster—honestly, it should be deleted so we never have to deal with this nonsense again.😳.

I’m not here to tattle or trash the moderators—they’re actually quite decent—I just want the thread locked.

(I can't drop links from my phone, but everything is right there in the thread for anyone actually paying attention).

WANTED:

Looking for an album by Lost in any format or condition whatsoever.