Posts by Jesse Barnes69

I’m running into the same issues the author mentioned.

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Gary Myers said:When I share ideas, it’s not about getting her blessing. It’s about reaching an informal agreement on a workflow I think would be faster and easier—basically just being more efficient without dragging upper management into everything. Our department doesn't have a direct supervisor; the CEO basically oversees all departments at once.

I’m not looking for a best friend. I’m just looking for a tolerable work environment. I don't want to feel this knot in my stomach every morning wondering if she’s going to snap at me or run to the boss over some random nonsense.

Honestly, I don't care about the gossip. But who she is *does* matter to me when she uses me as a punching bag for her frustrations. We don't need to be buddies, but I shouldn't have to be her emotional dumping ground.😉

Good call. 🙂

The gossip and the interruptions aren't why I'd report her. It's the screaming. She yells so loud you can hear it through closed doors in the next rooms over. People from those offices used to wander over just to see what the hell was happening. Even when people are actually stuck in the room with her, they look uncomfortable, and afterward, some of them pull me aside to say she's just not right. 🙂 That's why I'm posting here. Trying to handle this atmosphere for 8 hours a day is getting to me. I can already feel my composure slipping.
And word is, I'm doing most of the department's heavy lifting anyway.

👍

Even during those quiet periods, we barely speak. I just drink my coffee while I work.

That feels like the core issue right there. There’s zero oversight, so nobody actually knows who is responsible for what or how much work is getting done. You're basically just left to fend for yourselves.

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William Richardson12 said:I'm not entirely sure what you're looking for here. It's likely just Wake on LAN enabled in the BIOS.

That’s what I was wondering about. So, if Wake on LAN is active, a hacker who already breached the network could have remotely powered the machine on.
My IT friends claim remote powering shouldn't be possible, but my own research turned up the Wake on LAN angle.
Keep in mind I had a few shared directories on the network. Would that have been enough for a hacker to get in? There were no viruses on my computer, and nothing outside of those shared folders was touched.

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I recently had a pretty nasty experience where a virus hit our network and compromised both the shared drives and the files on my own machine.
The part that’s really messing with my head is this: I left my computer completely powered down, but when I checked back, it was running. The Event Viewer even has a clear log of the exact time it booted up. I know for a fact nobody touched it physically.
I’m looking for some insight from anyone more tech-savvy than I am regarding this situation. I can provide more specific details if needed, but I figured I'd keep this first post brief.

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Rebecca Roberts35 said:So you don't feel anything for kids in Africa, but you donate out of a sense of obligation? Like, you "don't like people," yet you play the queen of giving advice for the sake of others' well-being?

I don't know what your deal is, but I don't buy that this is a total lack of empathy.

If you truly had zero empathy, you wouldn't give a damn about anyone else. You wouldn't feel any sense of duty toward others at all; everything involving other people would be done purely for your own benefit. And beyond that, you’d be perfectly fine with that lack of empathy, which means this whole thread wouldn't even exist.

Besides, I don't really see the point of this discussion.
You donate to the sick and needy, you give great advice to those around you, you get along fine with your coworkers, you don't feel anything for some non-existent child, and you love your friend and husband. Basically, you function more than adequately.
If we're judging based on the fact that you financially help strangers, I'd say you're actually a step above a huge chunk of the population that doesn't donate a cent to anyone they don't personally know.
As for not liking people who aren't part of your inner circle—well, if that's an issue, then I guess I'm problematic too.🤣
Look, I don't exactly harbor deep affection for my colleagues, most random people, or the lady at the grocery store... I don't carry the vast majority of people around me in my heart. Not really. And they don't carry me either.

It's possible the author meant she doesn't feel an emotional urge to be with people, but rather does everything mechanically, without spontaneity.
A well-programmed robot can actually give better advice than a human precisely because it lacks emotion, whether good or bad. It just processes things on a cognitive level.
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Rebecca James3 said:Hey!
Back in my junior year of high school, I realized I just don't like people. Honestly—aside from my husband, there’s only one other person I actually care about, which is my best friend from high school. Those two are it. Everyone else? Not so much. I can tolerate the people physically close to me—family, my boss, coworkers, whatever—but if they vanished tomorrow, I wouldn't give them a second thought. When I have to socialize with them, I play along just to meet social norms and keep them happy—mostly so they don't get pissed off or stop being useful for my own existential needs. If someone needs help, I’ll step up, but let's be real: it's so I can call in a favor later. Socializing is exhausting, so I just pretend people are interesting.
I went to therapy for six straight months to deal with this "social issue." The sessions went fine, I guess, and the "solution" they gave me was to try connecting with people and finding the positive side of relationships. Of course, I tried. I even convinced myself I was changing for a bit. But after a while, I realized I was just acting again—I still feel absolutely nothing for people. I’ll donate to charities for sick people or animals because I feel a sense of duty, but that's it. When I watch those shows about kids in Africa or intense medical dramas, I don't feel anything—no pity, no compassion. I donate because I feel like I *have* to, not because I actually want to. Mostly, I just stick to solitude and staying on the sidelines. And I don't want kids, even though my mother-in-law and my mom are constantly breathing down my neck about it.
Honestly, I’d be perfectly happy living in a cave, but I lack the skills for a wild, survivalist lifestyle. That's the only reason I don't live like that. Instead, I have to work and be surrounded by people I simply cannot wrap my head around. Take dancing, for example—why do people love "grooving" around looking like unprofessional idiots? I get professional dance and the discipline of learning, but not that mindless swaying. I hate it when people pressure me to "get loose" in social settings; I don't want to, and then I just end up looking weird. Even though I'm like this, people in society actually like me because they think I'm kind, approachable, and someone who offers good advice and attention. Everything except the advice is an act designed to make others happy and maintain my image as a "positive person." The advice part is actually legit, though—I look at problems through a philosophical, logical lens, and I've helped quite a few people out with their issues. I always stay neutral. I'm not religious. I'm not politically aligned with anyone. I just love opera.

Are there any other robots among us?

I'm right there with you, with one major exception: I wanted children, and I have them. They are an extension of me; I feel a deep love for them, and their pain is my pain, and their joy is mine.
Everyone else, including other people's kids, is viewed through a purely rational lens rather than an emotional one.

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Joseph Bailey41 said:Exactly. And with certain freelance gigs, you don't even build up seniority or benefits, your credit score can take a massive hit when you try to deal with banks, and getting people to actually pay you is a whole different nightmare. From a purely financial standpoint, the sweet spot is having a low-stress full-time job while picking up side projects on the side. The problem is, doing both is exhausting. It’s almost impossible to maintain that pace long-term without burning out or risking your health. 😁

I’ve tried that approach, and honestly, it’s tough to balance with kids—there just aren't enough hours in the day. Plus, my main job is becoming increasingly demanding; expectations are rising, but my paycheck isn't keeping pace. I'm considering going freelance, but I'm hesitant. If I actually had a solid skill set to fall back on, maybe. But when you don't have anyone to cover for you, even a vacation feels more like a stressful race to catch up on backlog rather than actual rest.

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Being a freelancer or holding a high-level position gives you the freedom to set your own schedule, which sounds a lot better than the standard 8-hour grind. But there are traps. An 8-hour job guarantees a paycheck whether you're healthy or sick, and if a company folds, you just find another one. When you're your own boss, that "flexible time" quickly disappears into endless meetings, chasing unpaid invoices, and hunting down new clients. You end up with very little actual work time left, unless you start paying someone else to handle the tasks you actually signed up for. Mastering all of that is a real skill.

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Joseph Bailey41 said:Exactly. 👍

And you can't forget the constant headache of dealing with all those pseudo-intellectual types in those environments. Honestly, I’d much rather be filing tax returns. 😁

You really have to experience it firsthand to get it. Though, I wouldn't actually choose doing taxes over this; things haven't quite gotten that desperate.

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Joseph Bailey41 said:She just grew up. At the end of the day, a job is there to pay the bills, not necessarily to be this high-octane, thrilling adventure. Honestly, I think people who claim their career is the absolute center of their universe either have pretty empty lives or they're just not being truthful. 😁

I agree, and I'd add that in certain fields—especially the so-called "creative" ones—this mindset is treated like a taboo. You're labeled untalented or a failure if you aren't constantly performing some act of genius. Nobody wants to admit that in creative roles, maybe 10% of the work is actually pure creativity. The rest is just grinding through admin and managing finances.

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I had my first child at 31 and I’m expecting my second now at 33. Both times, we conceived on the first try. Everything went smoothly with the first pregnancy and birth, and so far, this one is following suit. I was always aware of the statistics regarding fertility declining with age—it wasn't that I was avoiding kids, it just happened that I met my partner later in life. I didn't go out of my way to rush things; I just kept those statistical warnings in mind.
It's worth mentioning that until about age 27, my cycles were pretty irregular and long. They gradually stabilized, and it’s only in these last few years that I can say everything is finally working properly. I consulted with gynecologists, but they didn't offer much beyond suggesting birth control pills to regulate my cycle, which I declined. Some might claim it was due to an unstructured lifestyle or higher stress levels in my younger years, but I wouldn't say that applies to me; everyone deals with stress at every stage of life. Perhaps for some women, sexual maturity simply arrives a bit later, in their thirties, just as it begins to decline for those who matured earlier.