Posts by Matthew White4

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I ended up packing on 25 pounds in just two or three months thanks to Ladiomil.
Every single thing I tried to do to drop weight or even just stop the scale from climbing,
was a total waste of time. I spent weeks living on nothing but raw veggies—just some carrots and bell peppers here and there...
I honestly thought it was the Sulpirid, but when I finally bit the bullet and told my nutritionist, she told me it was definitely the Ladiomil.
A few days after I switched over to a different med, the weight just fell right off and I lost all 25 pounds incredibly fast.
As for AP, personally, Olanzapin made me gain 10 pounds in a single month.

Count me in.
I honestly can't stand socializing or wasting breath on mindless small talk.

My absolute dream setup? Total isolation from the rest of the world—just me, a dog or a cat, and my laptop.
In this place I moved to a couple of months ago, I don't know a single soul. The guy I live with finally caught on to the fact that I thrive in solitude, that I only step foot outside when it’s absolutely necessary, and that people generally drive me nuts. Luckily, hardly anyone ever drops by, so it's just me and the dog. As for my cigarettes, I have my own stash, and he handles everything else.
I haven't spoken to anyone from my past life either. There's just no need; I couldn't care less how they're doing or what they're up to, and I definitely don't care about their drama. I used to be everyone's designated listener and the "reliable one" you could always vent to. Now? Honestly, I don't give a damn about any of it.
The beach is only about 50 yards away, but I haven't even gone for a swim yet because there are actually *people* there.
Let’s be real here: I crave solitude and silence. I’ve come to realize I’m pretty much emotionally detached at this point—at the end of the day, I have no one, I have nothing, and I don't want or need anything from anyone.
I feel like the rest of my life is basically just filler... I'm not afraid of anything, and I don't really have any goals left to chase.
What do I do all day? I think. I’ve basically solved the puzzle called life, so now I just spend my time filling in knowledge gaps whenever something piques my interest—like how neurons actually fire or the subtle nuances between different philosophers' perspectives.

That’s why I love this laptop; I’m hoping I can find someone here to actually talk to about something that isn't a weather forecast or a recipe.

If there's one thing I want to tell all of you, it's this: you have a choice!

Good grief, don't you have anything closer to home?

Paul Newman5, don't sweat it, it’s never too late to turn things around. You'll be an expert on all this before you know it. Honestly, blacx hit the nail on the head with everything they said.
If everyone actually understood what we needed, how to get it, how much it costs, and when to act... well, we probably wouldn't even need doctors in the first place.
Seriously, you can ask a shrink about pretty much anything under the sun. Just do yourself a favor and write your questions down beforehand—it’s funny how once you actually sit down in their office, your brain just goes totally blank...
Don't beat yourself up, though. You didn't do anything wrong. The important thing is that you're heading to see a psychiatrist, and once you coordinate with them, you can finally kick off some real therapy. Sending love.

That’s wild... they had me on a 3x1 regimen from day one, and I followed it to the letter like a good little patient.

Honestly, I never really dealt with those mild antidepressant vibes; my doctor used to just drop heavy doses on me right out of the gate.

The only time I actually tried an antidepressant was when I took Zoloft for the first time ever. My body absolutely lost its mind—I went from sobbing uncontrollably to full-on hysteria, plus the dizziness, the stomach issues, the whole nine yards...

Everything else was pretty chill, nothing negative happened, except for Calixta... that stuff absolutely wiped me out.

Paul Newman5, you definitely need to hash this out with your psychiatrist...

Let's talk. Just vent, spill your guts, whatever... how are you actually doing? You on any meds or anything? I'm all ears...

I’m actually functional in the mornings; I live for my coffee ritual, those 45-60 minutes are basically sacred to me.
But then this anxiety bullshit starts creeping in during the afternoon... just hits me out of nowhere.
That's been the pattern for the last few years—it's nothing compared to how things used to be, when it was a constant, 24/7/365 nightmare
Maybe it's because I started taking my AD in the morning, who knows...

That last nasty depressive episode totally wrecked me back in January; it was pure hell for days on end, and absolutely nothing seemed to touch it.

So, my psychiatrist doesn't actually do psychotherapy. She told me straight up that she went into psychiatry specifically because she wanted to practice therapy, but apparently, to get properly qualified, she’d have to spend five years undergoing intensive therapy herself right here in Washington, D.C., three times a week. And, well, she just can't swing that kind of cost...

Five whole years, three times a week—just to be considered a legitimate psychotherapist.

In that case, how on earth are we supposed to expect anyone who just breezes through some quick littletraining course to actually do a quality job??

1x 30 mg

It absolutely wrecked me. I was so out of it for a couple of days that I couldn't even function, so I ended up heading straight to my psychiatrist...

Yeah, it felt exactly the same the whole way through—zero change. At first, I actually thought I just needed to wait for it to kick in and finally start helping me, but nope, nothing moved the needle. Honestly, I can’t even remember how long I was on it... maybe two months? Then my doctor switched me over to something else.
I tossed all my old medical records from 2006 through 2012, so now the timeline is a total blur to me.
I do remember that Lexapro worked pretty well for me. On the other hand, Anafranil made me gain like 50 pounds, or maybe it was Lariam. But with Lexapro, I actually dropped all those extra pounds in just a few months.
Callista absolutely wiped me out; I couldn't wake up no matter what I tried, and I could only stomach it for a couple of days. Then Zoloft gave me these intense heart palpitations and a super stiff jaw.
And so on.
The only one I’m actually a fan of is Effexor. For a few years, I took two 37.5 mg pills in the morning, and then eventually transitioned to one 150 mg Effexor XR in the morning.
Throughout all these years, I’ve also been taking Dogmatil, though my new psychiatrist swapped it out for Zyprexa about two or three months ago.

I was on Claritin for a few months, and honestly, it worked okay—it had that anxiolytic vibe—but it just wasn't hitting hard enough to actually kill my anxiety, let alone touch the depression. It was way too mild for what I was dealing with. The silver lining was that I didn't deal with any side effects, and I’m seriously grateful my psychiatrist realized on her own that I needed something with a bit more punch...

Look, you don't need to give your coworkers a play-by-play of what you're drinking or taking. Just give them the standard excuses—my head is killing me, I didn't sleep a wink, my blood sugar is tanking... honestly, nobody at the office actually gives a damn about your mental state or how much you're struggling.
Everyone’s too busy staring at their own reflection anyway.
Stick with the Lexapro for at least a few weeks to let the brain chemistry settle down. If you still feel like garbage after that, go talk to your doctor and don't be afraid to switch up the prescription.
The reality is, American corporate culture expects us to be absolute machines; they don't care if you're feeling off unless you're literally bleeding out on the breakroom floor. Do yourself a favor and put a photo on your desk—something pretty that gives you a little boost when things get heavy. Maybe even scribble "I've got this!" somewhere private where only you can see it.
You are way bigger than this anxiety. No problem is ever so massive that there isn't a way through it. There's always a way out!

Paul Newman5 said:Thanks. I hope so. But honestly, I’m just worried that while waiting for the right stuff to work, I’ll lose my job because I can barely function. Can't risk my livelihood. Appreciate the support, though.

Look, you aren't going to lose your job. I don't know exactly what your line of work is, but if you're worrying this much, it tells me you're the type of person who actually gives a damn about doing things right. That drive—that fear of losing your livelihood—is actually what's going to give you the grit to keep pushing until things finally start looking better than any medication could. Just stay brave, okay? Don't let the anxiety win. Whatever life throws at you, you've gotta find a way to bounce back. That’s the whole point of the struggle, isn't it?... just getting back up one more time.😉

@ Jason Vaughn482
Look, you don't need to put any kind of pressure on her mental state. Just be real with her—tell her exactly how you're feeling. By the way, I totally blanked on asking: how long have you actually been on this current med?
The thing is, it takes a minute for an AT&T to really kick in and show its "full potential." 🙂 Personally, I’ve cycled through about a dozen different antidepressants over the years. These days, I only touch Helex once in a blue moon, maybe once or twice a month at most.
I’ve also been on antipsychotics for years now. I used to be on Sulpirid 200 for a long stretch, but now I'm on Olanzapine 2.5 mg. Honestly, what’s there to fear if it actually helps? Taking an antipsychotic doesn't mean you're psychotic, haha 🙂

@ Paul Newman5: Hang in there. Focus on yourself, don't give up, and keep pushing... the right medication will eventually find you!

Ugh, this hits way too close to home for me...

Back in the fall of 2003, I decided to lend some cash to a "friend" who was going through a really rough patch$1667 for a few months

2003!!

And just like that—poof. Gone. No texts, no letters, no calls, nothing. Just total radio silence.

As if helping her out wasn't enough, I actually handed over $3,000. Now? Not a single trace of her, even though we live in the same damn city.

Lesson learned: if you’re looking to absolutely torch a friendship, all you have to do is lend someone money.

Yeah, Coaxil helped a bit, but honestly? It was pretty weak...

Paul Newman5 said:Anyone here used Coaxil before? Would love to hear some feedback if you have any experience with it. I know everyone reacts differently, but I'd still like to know what's been the consensus.

So, I was on it for a few months. Honestly, it’s one of those weaker antidepressants—for me, my symptoms were basically cutting right through it, so I ended up needing something a bit more heavy-duty. I was taking it three times a day. Didn't deal with any side effects, though. That's about it...

Seriously, over those 25 years in the industry, they’ve pumped out like a hundred new ads. Give me a break.

Look, I've always just gone through my insurance referral, and honestly, the doctors have been top-tier every single time.