Posts by Larry Lewis

Harold Harris20 said:Hey everyone!

I could really use some advice here: my brother was just declared totally disabled today, and they’ll be sending the paperwork over to Medicare in about three weeks. The reason given is that his condition isn't in remission, plus he's got these bad tremors in his hands—they've been shaking pretty badly for a while now, though nobody knows why. I honestly think the "not in remission" part is what sealed the deal on him being declared unfit for work.
My biggest worry is the medical side of things... what does this mean for his health coverage through Medicare now that he's officially considered disabled? Is his insurance going to be cut off? How is he supposed to get his treatment moving forward?

Nick, you're being a total nightmare... is your brother a maniac, or are you the one losing it, or is he schizo and you're the maniac? I can't even follow your logic.

As for everything else, try using Google—have you ever actually heard of it?

Carl Rivera43 said:Man, I really appreciate you saying that. Honestly, it means a lot coming from you! You’re clearly a natural at getting everyone on the same page.

Well, sure—if I managed to achieve anything at all, it was successfully driving them away. 🙂

Where on earth is Nisha? I’ve heard she’s actually pretty cool... and what about Lois Kent? Ladies, please, weigh in here—I spent the afternoon sweating it out on the basketball court with a bunch of guys and I am absolutely wiped. ☕

Well, alright then. Let's just say any lovely lady browsing this subforum should feel more than welcome—because the three of us here are practically overflowing with affection 🙂

I’ve said my piece—now you all can get together and hash out the details 🙂

Carl Rivera43, give me a shout and let me know the time and place for tomorrow. I was thinking maybe around 3:30 PM near the clock tower downtown? That seems reasonable enough to me...

Has anyone else completely snapped lately and lost their damn mind? ☕ Look, I’m the proud owner of what I consider the absolute worst diagnosis on the planet—and honestly, it’s been a blessing because now I see the world for what it truly is. I still feel a twinge of sadness when I see someone scavenging through a dumpster, but when I see people wading through their own filth, well, that just brings me a certain kind of satisfaction. I’ve cursed this world—I love it, despite everything—but my resentment isn't aimed at my illness; it's aimed at you... all of you little insignificant people who can't see the forest for the trees. And yeah, call me crazy—call me the craziest person you've ever met—but the only thing that actually kicked off this entire pathetic thread about a disease that doesn't even exist was some mindless nonsense posted in this godforsaken discussion!

Carl Rivera43 said:Sure, sounds good! Let's aim for somewhere downtown again, maybe catch a little sun while we can? The forecast is looking pretty chilly for the rest of the week, so I'd love to soak up some warmth. How does tomorrow afternoon around three or three-thirty sound?

I'm in. Honestly, our engagement numbers have been pretty pathetic lately, but frankly, who cares about them? As long as we're having a good time, that's all that matters.

Carl Rivera43, let's aim for tomorrow instead—because word on the street is that Tuesday is looking like... well, a total washout with rain everywhere.

Carl Rivera43 said:E, Larry Lewis, way to go!

You always know how to brighten things up here.

Thanks... I try my best.

Carl Rivera43 said:Let's meet up tomorrow at the Flower shop around three. After that, maybe we can take a stroll through Old Town, or even hit up Central Park if we're feeling up for it!

Count me in, too.

placidheron7 said:Thanks for the advice, really, but I just can't bring myself to do that right now... there's zero motivation when I don't even see the point. Even my doctor didn't push me on it. Honestly, I'm just trying to wrap my head around what makes my situation different from anyone else's... just trying to get a better grip on why this is happening to me.

It’s pretty obvious you’ve got more grit than most people dealing with schizophrenia or psychosis.

placidheron7 said:Larry Lewis, I already explained why I even started this thread... I just want to know if there's actually a difference between my experience and someone living with schizophrenia, because my doctors haven't explained a damn thing to me. And look, sorry if my saying "popping pills" pissed you off, I didn't mean it as an insult—it’s just how people talk, you know? Just because I feel okay doesn't mean I don't have issues, but honestly, I'm not digging your tone. No need to belittle me. Yeah, I want kids someday, and yeah, if I have to be on meds, I'll try to wait as long as possible to minimize the damage to my body. What's the big deal? As for the medication talk, you're talking to someone who is actually sick here, not some random guy from the neighborhood who thinks schizophrenics are just serial killers and nothing more... so please, don't start looking down on me before you even know me.

Henry Garcia9, when I was in the middle of a full-blown psychosis, I had no clue it was happening... I genuinely thought everything was real. The demons were people, everyone around me... and when I was alone, the demons were right there, just draining the life out of me. Every single day. It wasn't until I was trying to settle some final matters—things that felt like they were standing in the way of reaching perfection and letting Jesus come for me—that I finally thought: Wait, what if this isn't actually true? So I Googled "sch." and told the one person I actually trust. Now, no matter how convinced I am in the moment that the psychosis is real, there's always this tiny part of me that knows I have a problem. Even when the delusions feel 100% real, that healthy part of me reaches out to whoever I'm talking to and we just push through together. These episodes... they're getting shorter now, less intense. And about the doctors... I feel like they should be able to spot everything, but by the time I reached out, I was already aware I was sick, so maybe they just saw it as something that had already passed. Honestly, I really don't know...

Look, I'm telling you this almost as a friend: I strongly suggest you seek treatment the way these conditions are actually meant to be treated.

placidheron7 said:At first, I was really hesitant about the meds. It felt like nobody actually knew what triggers psychosis for sure, and honestly, seeing how those episodes can just come rushing back even while you're on them—plus all the side effects... and I want to have a baby, you know? So, I figured I’d try my own way first. I truly believed it was the right path, thinking if things got worse or if I wasn't making progress, then I'd cave and go the medication route. But here's the thing... I'm feeling better and better and better. It's been this slow, steady climb upward, and there is zero chance I'm turning back to drugs now. I need my brain intact and my willpower for this fight, and my results? They've been 100% effective. There were definitely moments early on where I just thought, "Screw it, if this is how life is gonna be, I'll just crash and burn." And man, am I glad I didn't. If things take a massive dive later in life and this system of mine stops working despite my best efforts, then fine, I'll deal with the meds. But until then, I'm sticking with my way and I'm happy about it.

Nobody just jumps straight into medication right away.

I don't even know why you're posting here if you're so perfectly content.

And if I may be so bold—your attitude toward medication is exactly the kind of nonsense you hear from the local idiots hanging out at the dive bar down the street. Just go find someone in the States to start a family with instead.

placidheron7 said:I honestly thought I was surrounded by demons... like, I felt like God had tossed me into this hellscape of pure evil just because of my own sins. I was talking to Him through the Bible, obviously, trying to figure out where I went wrong and what I needed to fix. During that whole stretch, I actually completely overhauled how I function—turned things around for the better. I was just waiting for Jesus to pull me back into the real world, back to people, but the demons wouldn't leave me alone. They were talking to me through voices in my head, showing me stuff, and I could hear others whispering about me and harassing me constantly. I didn't bother telling anyone because they weren't actual people, they were demons... and what’s the point in talking to them when only God can get me out of that place? Honestly, I was more than functional. I was getting things done because He was giving me tasks, and nothing felt too heavy since I wasn't alone while He was guiding me. That’s why I say I was "functional." It all made sense to me at the time—that everything was a message, that everyone was talking about me... I mean, if you're a demon, it's not like it's hard to get inside your 😛. When it first hit me that maybe this wasn't real life and that I might actually be sick, I went to see my doctor. I laid it all out for her and told her straight up: I don't want to take meds because I don't see proof they actually work, but I'll consider it if my own way of treating myself doesn't kick in. She was cool with it. So, through talking to someone close to me, doing constant self-analysis, and just grinding through every single hour of that world, I started moving from hour-by-hour to every half day, then every day, then every two days... then total chaos... and then little by little over these 7 months, I've finally reached these lucid days. I never thought I'd see them. And then there's the delusions, which are much milder now, so everything feels okay again. The delusions follow the same pattern, but talking always helps, and the progress has been huge. I figured, if I could survive a year of living through literal hell, there's no way I couldn't teach my brain how to be rational and feed it objectivity instead of just nonsense. I don't know... I think it's a mental illness often triggered by trauma, but I still don't believe in the pills when I can see that my own method is working. I don't drink or smoke weed anymore, period. I'm curious though... what's the actual difference between me and someone with schizophrenia? My doctor didn't give me a diagnosis because she didn't want to label me. But why do others get labeled? To her, I seemed totally normal, and she was just surprised by how much I analyze everything, but I didn't even seem weird to other people, even while I was hearing voices and having my delusions. I can express myself perfectly fine, and I analyze things because that's just who I am—I used to solve problems through analysis before all this happened, so it's just natural for me. My awareness of everything else is totally intact; it's just that one part—the part where I perceive the demons—that's crazy. Lol

You were in a psychosis—a real, absolute one. Even I haven't experienced anything like that. In my opinion, you should have been hospitalized.

Whether you get a specific diagnosis or not is entirely up to the doctor's clinical judgment.

I’d strongly suggest you give the medication a shot.

placidheron7 said:Can someone please explain what it actually means when a person with schizophrenia says their psychosis has come back? Like, what even is psychosis? I'm asking because I'm trying to figure out the line between someone with that diagnosis and myself. The reason I’ve been able to stay functional isn't some magical recovery... it’s just because I figured there was no point in making a scene and I had stuff I needed to get done. That's the only reason I stayed on track. I’m basically looking for the similarities and differences between my experience and someone with a formal schizophrenia diagnosis so I can actually make sense of myself and other people... and maybe understand why I haven't been given a diagnosis myself. Thanks

You mentioned having psychotic symptoms, so if I may be so bold—and I really think you should—could you actually list what those symptoms were? Since you're the one who brought this up, it would be helpful if you were upfront about it; maybe then some of us might feel comfortable opening up to you, too. It strikes me as a bit odd, frankly—the idea that someone experiences psychotic symptoms and simply thinks, "Well, there's no point in making a scene over this," and then just carries on with life as usual.

Secondly, are you still experiencing those—as you put them—psychotic symptoms?

And I'm still a bit confused here—how is it possible that you talked through these symptoms with a professional but still didn't end up with a diagnosis?

placidheron7 said:Can someone please break down what actually triggers a hospitalization for you guys? I’m not even worried about the aftermath, I just want to know what happens *before*—like, what's the breaking point where doctors decide you absolutely have to be admitted? If anyone could give me a specific example, that would be huge. Also, regarding this whole thing about psychosis returning and switching up meds... what does "my psychosis is coming back" actually look like in practice? I’ve been struggling with something for a while now; all the psychotic symptoms were there, but since I was still able to hold down a job and stay "functional," they wouldn't give me an official diagnosis. But I really need to understand this side of things, so if anyone can answer these questions, I’d really appreciate it.

Based on what you wrote in bold, it seems like you don't actually need an explanation at all.

driftingtrucker3 said:Hey everyone, I need some advice. I’ve been dealing with schizophrenia for seven years now. I started on Zyprex even before I was legal, but three years ago I hit a breaking point and just stopped taking them on my own. Things went south, and they switched me over to that awful Zypadhere—the massive 405 mg shot every four weeks. Since then, the weight gain has been constant. I'm sitting at 200 pounds now. I've asked to go back to tablets. Right now, I'm waking up around 2 or 3 PM every single day. My insomnia is a nightmare. I'm wondering if switching back to pills would actually be easier on my body. Say, 10 mg a day. Here, the math works out to nearly 15 mg a day if you split the dose. My goal is to wake up earlier and stop packing on the pounds. I know it's not just about the meds—I have to put in the work too—but I really need to feel less hungry and less exhausted. When I was on the tablets, I used to wake up around 4 PM, but since it's winter, it's pitch black by then. Maybe I just got dulled out on them? Perhaps they wouldn't hit me quite as hard now. What's the actual advantage of one method over the other? My psychiatrist is pretty old-school and doesn't change her mind easily, though she isn't the worst. I only ended up on the injection because I wasn't sticking to the pills. So, what do you guys suggest? Ideally, I'd love to hear from someone with actual experience or a professional. Thanks.

I have no intention of sleeping my life away and ending up weighing as much as an elephant.

The only thing you can really do is lay it all out for your doctor and hope for the best. If she refuses to listen to your concerns, find a new doctor.

So, are we actually calling it a deal for tomorrow?

So, we’re looking at Central Park tomorrow around 3:30 PM? If that’s the plan—and I really hope it is—then count me in.

Carl Rivera43 said:You bet! This team has some incredible players who always step up when it counts.

Spot on. 🙂 Count me in.