Posts by Olivia Brown7

Anthony Gray said:In my view—and this comes from years of working directly with kids facing developmental challenges—not every child with special needs struggles in a traditional classroom setting.
And honestly? What that counselor said highlights the systemic failure within our public school system. We’re looking at a massive gap in teacher training combined with a glaring lack of specialized support staff—which, let's be real, is the absolute bedrock of making inclusion work for kids with developmental delays.
In the US, "inclusion" often just becomes a polite way of saying they dropped a child with special needs into a regular classroom and hoped for the best. It's rarely more than that, except in rare cases. For true integration to actually work, you need a massive amount of effort from the teachers and genuine, hands-on support from educational specialists and therapists. Without that, it's just a child sitting in a room where they don't belong.

Everything mentioned is spot on, but I honestly don't know how you're supposed to help.

A colleague of mine has a child with visual impairment and ADHD who was granted an Individualized Education Program (IEP). The teacher simply ignores it. The child is supposed to receive written assignments in large print with double spacing. Instead, she hands him the same sheet as everyone else—five tasks crammed onto one page. The kid barely scrapes by with a D. He loses his temper and demands a retake according to his accommodations. Then, he gets an A.

So, what are we supposed to do as parents of children with disabilities?

Most of what I actually know, I learned from private therapists. Doctors tend to have their own specific visions, but once you walk into a preschool or an elementary school, everyone adopts this "Listen, Mom... we're the experts here and we know better than you" attitude. It makes me bristle like a porcupine.

I can't exactly show up to school with my own private specialist to lecture the faculty on how to teach my son—that's just not realistic. But if a professional evaluation has already been handed to them, why on earth aren't they following it?

Which school are we talking about? We went to Lincoln High.

Robert Rodriguez9 said:I personally know a girl with Down syndrome who attends that school. Integration is almost always the better way to go. You should look into it a bit more. 😉

Of course. I’d much rather go with a "traditional" school.

Quincy:

Sam Kim12 Asks: ........ I’ve always been of the mind that children with disabilities should be given the chance to integrate into mainstream schools rather than being relegated to special education programs. Why shouldn't they have that opportunity? The little boy in the stroller? He’s been embraced so warmly by his classmates. Everyone is just so genuinely happy to see him, always cheering him on and offering a helping hand. Honestly, it’s quite moving to witness. 😉

The school counselor actually told us during our meeting that if his speech doesn't show significant improvement, we shouldn't even count on placement in a mainstream classroom—even with an aide. Her reasoning? Apparently, the teachers aren't sufficiently trained to handle those specific conditions. Her exact words.

Robert Rodriguez9 said:Olivia Brown7, did you look into Lincoln Elementary yet? I know they accept kids with special needs there.

I haven't even looked at schools yet. Honestly, every doctor and therapist I've spoken to has advised waiting. They suggested holding off for at least six months before starting any intensive evaluations to figure out which school would actually be the best fit.

Drew Johnson2 said:The process started when he was about two and a half, with some diagnosis of speech delay—which, quite frankly, felt like complete nonsense since he’d been speaking perfectly fine for his age up until he turned two...

They spent an entire year just chasing after a diagnosis. They eventually enrolled him in a preschool in Savannah, only to have them turn him away, claiming he wasn't a good fit because his issues weren't limited to just speech... apparently, they were seeing signs of motor skill struggles and ADHD as well.

They ended up suggesting a preschool over the lime trees, which is where he eventually transitioned into elementary school. But in his case, there really wasn't much of a debate to be had; given his lack of verbal communication, a standard classroom would never have been a viable option anyway.

I truly believe that delaying things won't do any harm, especially if he was attending a regular preschool program in the meantime.

It won't cause damage, per se. It’s really just a question of whether the school board will actually approve it.🙂

It feels like things are just spinning in circles here. He’s dealing with enough on his plate as it is, so for now, the school psychologist is recommending we hold off on enrollment. The plan is to spend the next year running various assessments to figure out which path actually makes sense for him. But if they deny the deferral and insist we enroll him in some specialized school? I honestly have no clue where we’d even turn.

Drew Johnson2 said:From what I’ve observed firsthand, in those specific instances where a child is already enrolled in specialized programs—you know, working with speech therapists or developmental specialists and all that—they actually seem much less likely to experience any kind of delay...

My godmother actually tried to push for a deferral, though they weren't having any of it... they basically told her that they didn't anticipate seeing any massive leaps in progress over the next year anyway, and besides, the little one wasn't exactly ready for the rigors of a standard classroom setting yet. So, despite all that back-and-forth, he ended up starting seventh grade after all...

Do they tell you straight up—that the child isn't a fit for a mainstream school but belongs in a specialized program—or do they just leave parents to figure all that out on their own?

Sam Kim12 said:I'm crossing my fingers that you get a reprieve😉, but if things don't show significant improvement by next year, I'm fairly certain you'll be entitled to an aide—someone who can actually provide meaningful support during school hours.👍

I appreciate the kind thoughts, but it’s not quite like that.
He was actually eligible for an aide in preschool this year too, yet he didn't get one (he ends up sharing an aide with another boy instead).
And even if his speech improves significantly? There is no way he's attending a standard public school—even with an aide. It would likely have to be Suvag.

Sam Kim12 said:But let me ask—is there an actual plan in motion here? I mean, is the child currently undergoing any kind of professional intervention—speech therapy, occupational therapy, physical therapy, or specialized developmental exercises?

Since they were two months old, there's been constant work. It started with physical therapy, then moved into occupational therapy, sensory integration, developmental specialists, and speech therapy. Unfortunately, most of this has had to be handled through private providers.

Brian Jones8 said:It’s the exact same story here in the States. Everything is documented, which just means more headaches. ☕

If you don't mind me asking, what kind of trouble are we talking about? You can always shoot me a DM if it's sensitive.

The diagnosis? "High neuro-risk." Basically, they can't quite figure out how to label it yet.
In reality? There's a significant delay in gross motor skills, an even bigger lag in fine motor skills, and the speech—that's the toughest part. It's stuck at the level of a two or three-year-old.

We were at the school today for a meeting. Given the number of documented challenges my child is facing, we’re pushing for a grade retention. The school counselor took down all our details, and I handed over the reports from the psychologist and speech therapist. She gave us the paperwork required to officially request the delay, noting we should submit everything to the pediatrician during our next appointment. Once that's done, the ball is in their court; now we just wait on a decision from the local school district office.

Robert Rodriguez9 said:From what I understand, after all the testing is done, the school's specialist team and the local health clinic work side-by-side to review everything and make decisions for all the kids. It seems a bit odd to me that we might be waiting until August when enrollment starts back in early June. 🤔

The child goes through the standard enrollment process first, and only then is the request for a school deferment filed. The Department of Education makes the final call. Their deadline for a decision isn't until August 31st. 😵
That was our experience when trying to get an aide assigned for preschool; we were stuck waiting for a decision until mid-September, even though the adaptation period was supposed to start on September 1st.
A colleague of mine actually received the approval for a school deferment after the term had already begun. A total disaster.

Dana Martin87 said:Just look at how that kid is developing... I was listening to U2 back in first grade while my peers were stuck on Taylor Swift. Every single night, I was watching The Daily Mail while everyone else went to bed after cartoons. By fourth grade, I’d already plowed through the Russian classics just for fun, while my classmates were still reading Segrt Hlapic. Don't even get me started on sexual maturity.

As far as early puberty goes, at least those signs were spotted early.
I remember being terrified that someone in class would find out I had my period or armpit hair because kids back then wouldn't have understood—plus, I was already way ahead of them. I actually waited for someone else in class to start their period so I could finally tell the gym teacher I couldn't participate without having to explain myself. It took over two years for that to happen.
Kids are incredibly insecure during puberty, and for me, the hardest part hit during the lower elementary years. It sucked feeling so "advanced" compared to everyone else.

That's why by middle school, I was totally confident, while other girls were losing their minds over a pimple.😁

It’s not exactly dramatic. But honestly, I wish I had started school a little younger. I would have actually fit in with the other kids. In puberty, that stuff matters, damn it.

Dana Martin87 said:I had body hair and swollen-looking breasts by the time I was seven. My mom actually took me to the doctor because she thought something was wrong, but it was just my body developing. I got my period at nine, and by twelve, I was fully grown.
So, what, should I have started school a year earlier just to fit in with the pack?
We should focus on things we can actually control. Honestly, I wish my parents had sent me to school at five, because both physically and emotionally, I was way ahead of everyone else.
Waiting until a child is seven and a half to start school—especially if they're showing signs of early puberty—just because someone is afraid they won't handle failure? That's probably the biggest disservice you could do to a kid.
If my daughter keeps developing at this rate, physically and emotionally, I'm looking into enrolling her when she's five and a half. I just don't know if the system even allows it.

Can I ask a question?

How did that help—or hinder—you later in life?

You reminded me of a girl from elementary school who was a bit... well, socially awkward. I always assumed she was just shy, but looking back, I realize she was just more mature. She was pretty average in grade school, but then she really "took off" in high school and college, eventually becoming one of the youngest PhD holders in America.

On the flip side, I was pushed into school early just because of my physical size. Maturity wasn't even a consideration. I ended up having quite a few struggles with major transitions—moving to high school, then college, and so on. Perhaps that was due to being ahead of the curve too soon.

If this has been going on for two weeks, you really ought to consult a doctor.
My neighbor went through something quite similar. A petite woman with a large baby—she’s basically crowding everything inside, and the second she eats anything, the heartburn kicks in. I haven't heard of her actually vomiting, though I suppose that could happen given how little room there is left.
Now, please, get off the internet and call a physician immediately.

Frank Wright13 said:Honestly, what kind of nonsense is this? You need a massive credit line just to fund all this. What kind of parents actually let their kids demand stuff like this? Whether it’s a First Communion or whatever, it’s supposed to be a sacred rite, not an excuse to buy expensive gifts when people are struggling. It’s awkward when a kid starts asking for things you can't afford, and you feel stuck because you don't want to say no. My daughter is making her First Communion this year, and we already sat her down and told her: don't start making lists. Whatever we can manage, she gets. Luckily, she’s modest, so I don't expect any outbursts. But honestly, why even ask kids what they want? Their imaginations run wild, and with the economy being what it is, it's just asking for trouble. People will give something nice as a keepsake, sure, but I think it's on the parents to tell their kids not to expect anything extravagant. Why set them up for disappointment in the first place?

We were just celebrating Christmas recently. My kid wasn't even thinking about the presents, which led her mother to tear through all the wrapping paper, reading every card and checking what was inside each box...
It felt... I don't know... pathetic.

copperheron18 said:I have honestly never heard of a single child complaining about visiting a theater, a movie house, going on a field trip, or hitting up a museum. If anything, kids find this stuff fascinating.

Furthermore, many kids wouldn't even get a glimpse of a stage play or a gallery if they weren't heading out with their teachers. It isn't as if parents would be rushing to take them there constantly, so I really don't see what the issue is...
The only real downside is the cost, but let’s be honest—if someone is struggling financially, that is something that can be managed.

Has anyone here actually had a kid whine, "Ugh, Mom, we're going to the movies again? I don't feel like it, this is so lame"? I highly doubt it...

Every one of these outings serves a purpose. If anyone in this group fails to see the value in visiting museums, exploring National Parks, wandering through caves, or touring historic sites—places where you can weave in history, geography, or art tailored to a child's age—then I truly question the quality of those parents' own education...

As for the claim that someone took the kids to the exact same spot twice, I won't comment on that directly, though that teacher definitely needs a talking-to; perhaps her memory isn't what it used to be.😕

Exactly. Parents are often the last people willing to drop a dime or even five minutes of their time for their kids.
Kids are happiest when they aren't in school, even if they're just sitting in a field staring at wildflowers.
But we aren't even debating trips to castles or caves here; we're talking about McDonald's. What category does that fall into?
A few years back, a colleague nearly lost it because her daughter came home with a note from her teacher asking for money for a field trip to the Turbo grinder. Very educational, wasn't it?

Benjamin Roberts5 said:It really just shows how some people have zero shame and absolutely no respect left. 👎

Like, out of all the people sitting there, why did he have to target you specifically??? 😲

Honestly, with an attitude like that, I wouldn't have stood up for him even if he had the most legitimate reason in the world.
Having an invalid status doesn't give you a pass to be a complete moron. 🙄

I had a similar experience during my second month of pregnancy. I didn't even have a bump yet, just pure exhaustion. I could barely keep my eyes open, let alone lug two heavy bags of supplies to the hospital for my husband (who always seems to pick the worst times to get sick...). Naturally, I sat down on the subway.
Then this lady on crutches gets on. I stand up for her, and some other jerk starts snapping at me, asking how I could possibly have the nerve to sit during rush hour when there are elderly people around.
Since I was getting off at the next stop, I didn't bother arguing, though honestly, she really deserved a slap across the face.

I'm much further along now, but I don't see anyone—from toddlers to guys who look like they belong in a gym—getting a pass to sit while I’m stuck standing.