steeltiger2 said:I truly believe there’s a progression here, if you want my honest take: first, you have that initial spark where you're basically falling for an idealized version of someone you've built up in your head—what most people just call being "infatuated." Then comes actual infatuation, where those qualities stop feeling imaginary and start becoming a real part of your daily life; you become convinced this person is completely incomparable to anyone else because they possess this specific, unique magic just for you.
And thirdly, there's that deep, enduring love where the infatuation stays woven into the affection—it's love plus that lingering spark. It’s when that person still holds that "something special" above everyone else, even though you actually know them now, flaws and all. It’s finding it sweet to see them looking like a total mess in the morning, or seeing them at their absolute lowest, vulnerable and defeated, and still thinking they're wonderful.
If I weren't feeling that infatuation anymore and was just deeply in love with my boyfriend, I suppose I could fall for someone else... because that specific spark is exactly what I look for in the person I'm with. Otherwise, I can just love a friend, I guess.
But honestly, I don't really know how he views this whole thing. That's why I'm worried—that maybe he just loves me without that infatuation. People always say that tired, boring old cliché: "infatuation fades into love," and they talk about it like it's some dull, predictable transition that kills the magic.
In my eyes, if you love someone but the infatuation or that sense of wonder is gone, then it’s just habit, not true love. I don't think real love between a man and a woman can exist without a constant dose of that infatuation—that ability to see something more in them than in anyone else. You can't just look at them with purely realistic eyes like you would any stranger; you need that perspective that makes your heart ache just by looking at them sometimes. And if you don't feel that, how are you even supposed to be jealous?
That fascination? It’s nothing more than being head over heels. Basically, you lose yourself in someone else—usually because you're caught up in that illusion where a frog suddenly turns into a prince. You become obsessed with the object of your affection, desperately praying they feel the exact same way.
Let's be real about falling in love. At its core, it’s driven by an overwhelming surge of desire—specifically, sex. Sure, people like to hide behind those soft, flowery descriptions of romance, but the root of it all? It's a burning need for physical intimacy and those frequent, "funny little movements" that come with connecting with someone.
When you fall deeply in love, there’s this intense emotional hunger that takes over. You crave total connection—you want that person to be entirely yours, and you want to belong completely to them, too. It’s about fulfilling every single emotional need. But if you add a spiritual dimension to it? Then falling in love isn't just some random occurrence. That person becomes your soul mate. They are sent by God; they are your other half. Through them, we practice a temporary taste of bliss here on Earth, preparing ourselves for eternal bliss in Heaven. When everything is sealed with God's blessing, it offers a glimpse of the infinite—a promise of everlasting joy through complete physical, emotional, and spiritual unity.
See you tomorrow!
It’s fun, sure. Just like bungee jumping—you get that massive rush of adrenaline and endorphins, but it's fleeting. That feeling of the wind in your hair, that momentary flight? It's temporary. And more often than not, it fades away leaving nothing but drama and finger-pointing in its wake. The high usually dies down fast. Unless there is a foundation built on the art of love—specifically, a love for oneself—it just won't turn into anything lasting.
The art of love.
Jealous people always seem to suffer from that one crushing deficiency.It might lack raw passion, but it offers something better: peace, composure, and genuine tenderness. It doesn’t peddle those fake promises of "I’ll be yours until death do us part, and then we'll spend eternity in heaven together..." Instead, it builds self-respect, clarity regarding our own worth, confidence, and—above all else—self-sufficiency. Sure, there isn't any sexual "aaahhhhh" or "mmmmmm" involved, but it actually makes us more sensual. We start to crave ourselves and others. By learning how to truly love and care for ourselves, we learn how to love and care for everyone else. And sometimes? We take care of them *soooo* well that we shamelessly enjoy every second of it. The only difference is that, in that moment, loving others becomes just another way of loving ourselves.
Falling in love? It’s basically a mental health episode—a very, very pleasant one, sure, but it's caused by being high on your own hormones. It completely warps your perception of reality. Telling someone their issue is "jealousy," rather than pointing out that the actual problem is the infatuation itself—along with that programmed, romanticized idea of what "love" should be—is like trying to give advice on how to stop hallucinations while someone is tripping on heavy drugs.
We’re all programmed from day one to believe in the illusion of romantic love. It’s the exact same cultural conditioning that makes us believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy. They teach us to hunt for that "one special person" who will finally make us whole—someone we supposedly need exclusively. We're told they have to be ours and ours alone, never looking at anyone else, never leaving our side, and staying that way until death do us part.
Humans have this endless capacity to lie to themselves, even when the truth is staring us right in the face:🙂 nobody belongs to us, and we don't belong to anyone. Once you realize that absolutely no one—and I mean no one—is yours to own, you'll experience the sheer lightness that comes from NON-POSSESSIVENESS. You simply can't be jealous if you aren't possessive. And honestly? Only someone who isn't possessive can truly love. In real love, all you want is what's best for the other person. In that romanticized, fake version of love, all you want is to keep that person exclusively for yourself.