Not wanting kids: Is it just me?

Am I the only one who’s 31 and still doesn't have any desire to have kids?
I've never felt it, and I kept telling myself: maybe it'll hit me when I'm older... but nothing yet.
I have a wonderful marriage, an amazing husband (who isn't exactly itching to be a dad either), my own business, employees... I travel, I have everything I need... and most importantly, I don't feel like I'm missing out on having children...
Is that weird? What do you guys think?

Am I the only one who’s 31 and still doesn't have any desire to have kids?
I've never really felt it, and I kept telling myself: maybe it'll hit me when I'm older... but nothing yet.
My marriage is wonderful, my husband is amazing (and he isn't exactly itching to be a dad either), I run my own business, I have employees... I travel, life is good... and honestly, I don't feel like anything is missing—especially not a kid.
Is that weird? What do you guys think?

Where can I find people like me?
Am I really the only one who’s 31 and hasn't felt that urge to have kids yet?
I never really had the desire, so I just kept thinking: maybe it'll hit me when I'm older... but nothing has happened so far.
I've got a great marriage, an amazing husband (who isn't exactly itching for little ones either), my own business, employees... I travel, I have everything I need... and most importantly, I don't feel like anything is missing, including kids...
Is that weird? What do you guys think?

I’m 28 years old and I’ve just never had any desire to have kids. Honestly, I’m completely indifferent to the whole idea🤷
I don't see myself ever becoming a parent☕

I already gave you my take on the whole "living together" thing😉

I’ve actually got one just like that. Mine’s been around for ages.
Don't even sweat it.
And yeah, totally agree—don't force it. Honestly, it's way better to stay childless if that's not what you want than to completely wreck a kid's life by forcing them into existence (and I'm not talking about you specifically, just speaking generally here) just because society expects you to have kids. 😉 It’s something Tina Turner once said about herself.
Just live your life. There is absolutely no reason why everyone needs to have kids. If you guys are happy and loving your life, then that's all that matters. 🙂

Like Tina Turner once said—

It’s actually kind of a relief to know I’m not the only one feeling this way...
And honestly? It’s 100% true. Everyone follows some arbitrary "tradition" just because they think it’s the only "right" way to live, or because it feels "NORMAL" to them...
Just don't bother trying to argue with them. Why bother? You'll only end up shattering their little bubble and ruining their illusions.

It’s perfectly normal. 31 isn't old.
A friend of mine didn't really start feeling that maternal pull until she actually got pregnant.

Look, not every woman is obsessed with having kids—for some, it hits later, some feel it during pregnancy, and for some, it never happens at all.

After she had her three boys, I asked Madonna... "So, how is it?" And she just tells me: "Listen, I wasn't crazy about the idea of kids, but you end up loving your own... though I'm certainly not out here melting over every random baby I see on the street."

Thanks! I wasn't quite sure where to drop this thread... I'm new here 🙂

boldstag33 said:Am I the only one who’s 31 and still doesn't have any desire to have kids?
I've never really felt it, and I kept telling myself: maybe it'll hit me when I'm older... but nothing yet.
My marriage is wonderful, my husband is amazing (and he isn't exactly itching to be a dad either), I run my own business, I have employees... I travel, life is good... and honestly, I don't feel like anything is missing—especially not a kid.
Is that weird? What do you guys think?

Why on earth do you care what some random person on an internet forum thinks about you, your marriage, or your lack of desire to be a parent?

Unless, of course, there actually is someone but deep down, which is clearly why this whole thread even exists.

boldstag33 said:It’s actually kind of a relief to know I’m not the only one feeling this way...
And honestly? It’s 100% true. Everyone follows some arbitrary "tradition" just because they think it’s the only "right" way to live, or because it feels "NORMAL" to them...
Just don't bother trying to argue with them. Why bother? You'll only end up shattering their little bubble and ruining their illusions.

Trust me, there are tons of people just like us. It's just that most of them can't be bothered to explain themselves to everyone else—it's just not their style. When I told a few people that I didn't want to have kids, it was funny how many of them suddenly opened up and admitted they felt the exact same way. I guess everyone thinks they're the odd one out until they actually take a look around.

So, here’s the deal: a woman is asking—and look, she’s a woman, so she’s supposed to have those maternal instincts, right?—whether it’s weird that she doesn’t want kids. She’s looking for other women to weigh in on their views regarding motherhood, which, honestly, seems perfectly fine to me. 🤷

Anyway, personally? I don't find it strange at all that you don't want children. I mean, let's be real, we all know just how massive of a responsibility they are and how much of your life they absolutely devour. You have every right to opt out. It’s better to not have them than to have them just for the sake of it... you actually have to *want* them, otherwise, what's the point?
The same goes for the women who genuinely love kids and actually want them; I think it's pretty silly to assume they're just doing it because they're following some old-fashioned tradition. Sure, that happens way too often, but you can't just lump everyone into the same category.

I am currently thirty-six years old, my partner is twenty-eight, and we have been together for nearly seven years, though our history goes back fifteen.
Neither of us has ever harbored a desire for children, nor do we ever intend to bring them into this world.
The fundamental truth here is that you and your partner must be in total alignment regarding such life-altering decisions, specifically whether or not to pursue parenthood.
The one thing that leaves me somewhat perplexed by your post is your admission that you were secretly hoping the opportunity would present itself, which feels... contradictory. It gives me the impression that you aren't entirely certain about your own stance on having kids. Personally, I have never once entertained the notion of becoming a parent; the very concept hasn't even crossed my mind as an option. I have always known, with absolute clarity, that this isn't my path. There has never been even a flicker of doubt in my mind.

boldstag33 said:It’s actually kind of a relief to know I’m not the only one feeling this way...
And honestly? It’s 100% true. Everyone follows some arbitrary "tradition" just because they think it’s the only "right" way to live, or because it feels "NORMAL" to them...
Just don't bother trying to argue with them. Why bother? You'll only end up shattering their little bubble and ruining their illusions.

But really, there isn't even a point in trying to argue with anyone; every couple should be able to figure things out on their own terms.
I personally refuse to let anyone terrorize me or drag me into debates regarding my lifestyle—these are private decisions that don't concern anyone else, and they certainly shouldn't involve anyone other than oneself and one's partner.

Man, I’ve just always been obsessed with babies 😍
that’s why at 32, I already have five little angels 😍
honestly, having this many kids makes me so happy
I actually love being pregnant 😉
they're all so different, but something about me just wouldn't feel complete without a baby's smile... 😍

That last one was just pure magic, honestly... the absolute peak of my life, being pregnant. I soaked up every single second of it, and I think it really showed on my face because the compliments were endless, especially from other women... and don't even get me started on the babies, I just melt every single time. Even now, when I see a pregnant woman out in public, I feel that same rush because she’s right there on the brink of something incredible, the best thing ever. Personally, I feel like people aren't truly whole without kids, but hey, that's just my take and everyone’s entitled to their own opinion. Most of my girlfriends haven't had children yet, but whenever they come over, they tell me, "If I knew they'd be as wonderful as yours, I would have had them yesterday." Maybe the desire isn't there, or maybe it never will be, but it would be such a shame if that longing hit too late in life!

I never actually felt a deep-seated desire to become a mother. Beyond that, biological hurdles like my septum and PCOS made pregnancy nearly impossible. It wasn't until I turned 34—after six years of marriage and suffering through two miscarriages—that I finally decided to undergo surgery. My motivation wasn't some primal urge to reproduce; rather, I realized that if I was ever going to have children, the window was closing fast. I eventually gave birth to a daughter, and I love her dearly because she is mine, much like how unknown describes the bond with a close friend. I did consider having more children, but not out of any selfish craving for motherhood (which I still don't possess), but simply so my daughter would have companionship, similar to the bond my brother and I shared growing up. People come in all varieties. Personally, I feel I was never "wired" for parenthood—I used to wonder if that was even normal—as I’ve never been great at communicating with kids or felt the urge to babysit. Sure, babies are cute, but not enough to make me want to hold them or go through the agony of another pregnancy just for the sake of it. In my view, it is perfectly normal to lack that drive at 31. The only real risk is the possibility of that sudden realization hitting you when it's already too late.

Jesus Christ, I totally get where you're coming from and I respect the honesty, but I honestly can't imagine my life without them... I told my husband, maybe one day we'll try again, but he just gave me this look, you know? Of course, wanting something and actually being able to do it are two different things. The first time, right after the baby was born, I told him never again. Well, never say never, because now we have three!

Man, people... what is even happening? Honestly, nothing surprises me anymore. I just don't get it, but hey—everyone’s got their own reasons, I guess...
If you're happy living your life without kids, then why on earth would you feel pressured to have them?

Even at 31, I didn't have the slightest urge to have kids. Honestly, children? They were never my thing. I’ve never had much patience for them, and I don't particularly enjoy babysitting anyone else's little ones unless there's absolutely no other choice. My husband wasn't exactly itching to start a family either; we both reached the same conclusion that we weren't missing out on anything. Some of our friends were having kids, but seeing that didn't spark any interest in me. Eventually, I figured it might be "time" to at least give it a shot, and my husband was on board with that idea. Well, we tried, it worked, and now we have one little girl. Suddenly, all those doubts vanished. She’s become the center of my universe, and I am completely obsessed with her. Now, I’m actually considering going for a second one—provided everything goes according to plan.