How do I break free from my own illusions?
in Psychology ·
shadowheron49 said:Hey, I'm not actually falling apart as much as you might think...
I can't really dive into all the other parts of my life in this specific thread...
If I did, you’d see I barely even have the energy to be "falling apart" like you're imagining.
This thread is focused on one thing, and that's all I'm writing about here.
But I agree with you, and I think you're spot on.
Nobody is irreplaceable... absolutely nobody.
It’s just hard, because replacing someone you basically invented in your head is a different beast since it happens online, and that's why these girls end up getting hurt so much deeper and becoming so much harsher and more broken... honestly, they're just mentally wrecked by their own illusions; nothing else could break them like that.
That's why I say... this topic needs a serious approach and some actual psychology experts.
Why do we fall in love like this?
What's actually happening under the surface?
When we talked in DMs, we concluded it's basically an escape from reality, because for everyone involved, there was usually some major real-life drama going on right before it started...
Plus, no matter how many years you spend living in this digital illusion, your actual problems in the real world are just stagnating, waiting for the day you finally decide to deal with your real life... meanwhile, you're getting all those "perfect" feelings from this virtual world.
So, who are the high-risk groups that get stuck like this?
How deep does the impact go?
I'm also curious about the psychological profiles of guys and girls who kill time this way without any goal, and who can't seem to move past the internet even when they offer hope?
What is their deal?
What actually connects these two types of people?
On one side, you have someone desperate for an escape from reality, and on the other, someone who specifically needs that kind of person just to boost their own ego?
What's the link there?
Also, what are the red flags for those dangerous manipulators?
(One girl mentioned being careful around people who are obsessed with astrology and/or God)
That sounded pretty interesting.
Is there anything else?
Come on, psychologists, let's hear it—think deeply and give us some real conclusions.
This is the sickness of the modern age.
Feelings are one thing...
but I want the facts.
The brain is an organ just like any other, and I want to know what goes wrong with the information input—what are we flooding ourselves with that makes it start "malfunctioning"?
It’s honestly because we aren't falling for a real person, but rather for the fantasy we've built up in our own heads. I mean, where could you possibly find anyone more perfect than the version of someone you've invented yourself, right? Nothing can really compete with that.😍
The internet is basically the ultimate playground for this kind of thing, since you can just tuck all your own little fantasies right into the gaps between the lines of text—essentially reading into what isn't even there.
On the forums, we pretty much reached the conclusion that it's just a form of escapism, especially since most of us were dealing with some sort of real-life stress or issues right before it all started...
And yeah, that doesn't really help the situation either.
Emotions are just emotions...
I'm looking for the actual facts here.
The brain is just an organ like any other, and I want to know what goes wrong with how it processes information—what kind of clutter we're feeding it that causes it to start functioning "incorrectly."
Well, everyone has some kind of internal fantasy they can latch onto, and once you're hooked, it's incredibly hard to shake off. You see it all the time with girls who obsess over guys who constantly let them down, yet they act like everything is perfectly fine.
Yours feels particularly intense because it happened online, so I assume you haven't actually sat across from a flesh-and-blood human being yet, which would have likely led to a much faster reality check. Though, even that is optional, because our brains absolutely love to trick us in real life too, making us ignore obvious red flags just so we can keep the illusion alive. It's probably worth asking yourself what specific unmet need this fantasy is helping you fulfill, or what void you were trying to plug while you were talking for so long. Once you figure that out, you can actually work on satisfying that need in the real world.