Posts by hollowbadger17

If I weren't feeling absolutely under the weather (which has been my entire existence for the last three days), I’d actually be out enjoying myself. My social life is nonexistent, so now I'm just sitting here wondering what on earth I'm supposed to do with myself. 🤷

edit: I didn't even see that previous post until after 😁

Failures? Self-sabotage? Let’s call it what it really is: I’m calculating. If I feel like I actually have the emotional bandwidth to handle a person, then—and only then—do I dive in. But if I sense that the emotions might hit too hard, too fast, or if someone is just so magnetic that I fear losing my footing entirely, I start pulling the trigger on myself, them, and the whole situation. It’s a mess. That’s the hardest part, because those are the connections that pull at me with this almost primal intensity. And frankly, given everything I’ve been through 😢, I’d much rather walk away than play a dangerous game of experimentation.

Lately, I can't see myself being in any kind of relationship, near or far. If anything, I’m feeling a growing sense of repulsion

cosmictinker21 said:Eh, you see these people who stay trapped in miserable marriages for years, clinging to all these convenient little excuses they feed themselves and everyone else. It’s always the same script: the kids are too young, we’ve put in too much time together, what will the neighbors think, or the nightmare of splitting up assets in court... then there's the classic line: "we've been together forever, how could I just leave now?" Or maybe they're waiting until the kids finish school, or until the daughter is married off or the son is settled, and *then* they'll finally be free to live their lives—to find a lover or whatever. They act like they can't make a single decision because of work, aging parents, the house, or money...

And don't even get me started on the ones who aren't just dealing with emotional cruelty, but actual physical abuse, yet they still manage to stay in the relationship...🤷

I really wonder what the actual drivers are behind this self-deception—this turning a blind eye to reality and dragging out decisions indefinitely... Is it pure fear? Just spiritual inertia? Or are they just holding out for someone better, only to end up just moving from one seat to another?🙄

Motives for self-deception?
There isn't an alternative. Or rather, there is no viable alternative.

In fact, most marriages from our parents' generation—take those unions formed back in the 1960s, for example—largely shared the characteristics of infidelity and dysfunction. The only difference was that people didn't divorce at the rates we see today; back then, it was considered perfectly normal for the man to hold all the power while the woman simply kept quiet.

silentpilot6 said:You see, that isn't the core issue... that's just an afterthought for someone who has already lost their dignity... someone who's already become a complete loser. 😬 What I'm interested in is the fundamental reason why someone allows themselves to be stepped on in the first place, rather than why they stay once they've already been crushed.

It's because they feel inferior to that person (if not to everyone else, for that matter); they essentially take the blame for everything. They cling to this delusion that through some sort of thermonuclear love—through unconditional self-sacrifice—they can fix things, if not the entire universe, then at least their own little corner of it. Guilt and self-pity are a double-edged sword; you could say these people are constantly walking the blade. They often suffer from a twisted perception: "If I just prove myself to them, if I just do more," which only leads to further subjugation.
Once a person adopts that pattern, it becomes exactly what you said—just an incremental upgrade of their misery.
If they ever actually wake up, it's usually a brutal process, because it requires having the courage to look yourself in the mirror. But it's even worse if they never wake up at all, or if they spend their lives avoiding that realization. In extreme cases, I assume it leads to various addictions, or people simply become incapable of functioning in society; in short, they become mere drifters.

That sense of inferiority is always the starting point for becoming a doormat, though I also suspect it can be one of the reasons why someone chooses to play the victim and actually enjoys the power dynamic that comes with it.

Thanks, Michael Moore3. I don't view that as a critique; I’m simply stating my own perspective. Of course, you aren't obligated to see things my way. 😉

People tend to see exactly what they want to see...
Michael Moore3, I’m right there with you when it comes to loving the outdoors and the peace of nature, but let's be honest—everything eventually decays, and sometimes it feels like the rot starts from the bottom of hell up.

As for your question: No, I have absolutely no desire to be reborn. I don't want to cycle through this kind of existence over and over again. I just want to drift, to soar... take a guess where 😉

This country is an absolute hellscape... though I suppose it comes with its own particular set of distractions and vices...

Hannah Morris3 said:So you want to talk about smoking... 😬
It all comes down to motivation. Clearly, the reason you're giving—your health—isn't enough to make you quit. Until you find a more compelling reason within yourself, you won't be able to solve this problem in any meaningful way.

I wasn't talking about smoking at all.
Nor was I talking about myself.
I was simply using an example to try and simplify things for you.

Hannah Morris3 said:We aren't talking about a total lack of drive—we're talking about lacking it for one specific task.
Why would you even bother "developing" the willpower to do something you aren't actually interested in? There's usually a reason why the motivation isn't there. Hypnotizing yourself into believing you want something isn't solving the issue; it's just masking it. By denying yourself something you actually crave, you're likely just fueling that desire even more. So, what exactly did you achieve by doing that?

We aren't discussing things that are simply unappealing.
We are talking specifically about things that are unhealthy.
When you constantly indulge in something that you knew from the start wasn't good for you, after a while, it starts to feel NORMAL. And once it feels normal, you know you've already slipped a few steps down the ladder.

By the way, I'm not talking about hypnosis; I'm talking about strengthening one's willpower. Hypnosis is just a layman's way of describing a cheap trick.
And, of course, it's about the necessity of being honest with oneself.😉

A total lack of motivation isn't just a minor setback; for some people, it's a fundamental character flaw.
It’s a downward spiral that almost inevitably leads to ruin—whether you're looking at a collapse of one's moral compass or their bank account. It doesn't really matter which; the result is the same.
If you find yourself lacking any drive at all, then you’ve fundamentally misjudged the situation.😉

I see this pattern constantly when someone tries to steel their resolve. For instance, I might decide to quit smoking—and I have to make that exact same decision every single morning the moment I roll out of bed... otherwise, I simply succumb to my impulses. That's just how it goes.

Hannah Morris3 said:But how do you actually build willpower? The drive to get things done comes down to motivation. You can certainly work on your self-confidence and belief in yourself—which likely boosts your motivation to stay active and creative.

through sheer denial and constant repetition.

Hannah Morris3 said:Up, the real illusion is thinking you can be a free individual while still trying to fit into the mold of society.

Technically, you can,
but you'll just end up being a complete sellout in the process.😛

Nancy Thompson3 said:That’s fine. Really. If you don't have an ego, I suppose you could live that way. Just endure the winters, the cold, the insults, and the constant condescension from the Siemens crowd who love to judge you for not being exactly like them... But no, I won't do that. I’m choosing to walk my own path, and that doesn't mean living in a gutter, nor does it mean grinding away in some cubicle wearing a button-down and a tie.

I've made up my mind, and it's final... if you all expect me to just conform, then don't expect to see me around anymore..
If you catch my drift...

I hear you. Respect!

🙏 👍
Hallelujah.

Nancy Thompson3 said:But we aren't. We have negative birth rates, which—if you ask me—is actually a good thing. That's how it works in China and throughout Africa too...

and India...
We’re looking at negative population growth. A massive expanse of land where rural towns are simply vanishing. Everything centers on one single metropolitan hub, while the rest of the country is left with settlements where people just drift aimlessly. Nobody wants to put in any real work anymore. Everyone just wants to pose in luxury cars and hang out at upscale spots... isn't that just a total fall from grace for Hannah Morris3?
A complete disaster.

Nancy Thompson3 said:I guess a better way would be to actually distribute those dollars more intelligently, you know? Maybe if we helped developing nations become more stable, people wouldn't be so desperate to... well, let's just say they wouldn't feel the need to swarm like that.

Heh.
What exactly does "civilized" mean in this context? It feels like we're right back at square one.

To hell with the dollars.

Nancy Thompson3 said:if it's supposed to be shrinking, then why does the numbers keep going up?

Viruses, wars, famine... clearly, these stopgap measures just aren't cutting it.

Hannah Morris3 said:We are aware, sure—we just aren't doing anything about it. As for eliminating a massive chunk of the population? That seems inevitable at this rate, probably very soon, but that’s a whole other conversation...

But really, who is actually "aware"?
Most people are just sleepwalking through life. How can you expect them to take decisive action when they're living in a total delusion?
Elimination? It’s no coincidence that viruses are being let loose or that wars are being actively encouraged... the global population simply has to be scaled back.

rustymaker5 said:I mean, sure, the attitude might seem upbeat on the surface, but honestly, it usually just leads to a massive amount of frustration... because if you're walking around expecting everything to go perfectly and then life hits you with a curveball, you're left feeling totally crushed, right? But if you're bracing for the worst and things actually turn out great, isn't that a much better feeling? So, if I'm being real, maybe the best move is to just expect absolutely nothing at all, because then there's zero chance of disappointment... just letting things play out naturally and watching how they unfold, then adjusting on the fly as needed. Of course, that’s easier said than done since humans are basically hardwired to have expectations, which is the tricky part... so I guess the real solution lies in how we choose to react when things do or don't go according to plan. And that's where we actually have some control over things...

Honestly, that feels a bit like a child's way of looking at the world. Look at it this way: life throws enough curveballs our way that we can't afford to simply deny the bad stuff exists. You have to accept the reality that nothing is ever a sure thing. But if you fall into the trap of seeing everything in strictly black and white, you miss out on so much nuance, and you'll end up feeling like you're spiraling toward rock bottom—which just breeds despair.
I think the goal is to find some kind of equilibrium. Don't get me wrong, I haven't quite mastered it myself, but I'm certainly trying.🙂

Douglas Brown4 said:If you aren't expecting success, you’re basically expecting failure. That sounds like pessimism to me.
If you're just indifferent, though, you can't really gear up for action. You end up just sitting there, leaving everything to fate.

So, shouldn't we be prepared to expect success, just so we have the mental framework to react when things inevitably go sideways?🙂
Is that actually considered a positive mindset?

Robert Stewart28 said:That’s something I’ve been wondering about myself.

Yeah,
it’s a fascinating subject, if you look closely enough.
I recall seeing a similar thread once—essentially just people venting about how miserable they are while pretending everything is perfect.😈
And why is everyone so obsessed with finding "soulmates" anyway? It feels like a collective delusion.

Being alone is difficult, there's no denying that...
but then again, someone once told me that life is simply easier when there's a second person to share the burden.😢