Posts by Adam Miller46

Sandra Parker3 said:

I honestly don't have the energy to deal with this right now. Just another day of nonsense. kaže:
Here we go again, constantly finding ourselves stuck in this loop of having to defend our own positions... honestly, it feels like you’re the only one who actually remembers that comment about being. She’s just financially unstable.Malice is just who you are—you've proven that yourself. Honestly, what man dreams about a woman whose parents are footing the bill for every single date? Is that coming from personal experience or what? 😁 Whatever, thanks for the heads-up.

I'm just laying out the facts here—not making excuses, though I honestly have no clue what you're getting at—but just to give you some general direction.

I’m not being vindictive, I just have a hell of a memory, so don't try to test me. Actually, go ahead and keep doing what you're doing—since you felt the need to add that little "evil" label to my memory, I'm sure you've got your reasons. 🙄

Just a little tip: stop making it all about the person when you disagree. It’s getting pretty ridiculous on this forum lately, and honestly, it just makes you look bad.
No effect at all, kid. 🙄

I honestly don't have much to say about this, but I guess I'll just sit here and watch the whole thing unfold while everyone else loses their minds. kaže:
When it comes to relationships, I don't see the point in anything other than marriage being a serious commitment.
And regarding all this convincing and deconvincing you're doing—did it ever actually cross your mind, independent of your own ego, that you're completely missing the core issue here? A philosophical deep dive into the dynamics between men and women.It all comes down to someone else's specific life circumstances and their own personal struggles. ☕

Man, if you’d just told me upfront that this scrap of paper carried that much weight, I wouldn't be sitting here again. Honestly, you aren't wrong—it really is a serious connection given all the legal red tape involved, but if you ignore everything else, you're basically clueless.

I mean, come on—you aren't exactly going to jump straight into marriage without some actual history first, right?
Either you actually put in the work, or you’re just sitting there waiting for some kind of miracle to happen.

And to wrap this up with you... regarding the topic at hand, you made your point, and I only reacted just enough to address the "issue," because honestly, one shouldn't let themselves get any more worked up by being forced into that outdated gender role where the man is expected to be the sole provider.

Hey Hannah White2, have you ever actually stopped to wonder if all those "Bebeks" out there have anything to offer besides just fame and money?
If you don't agree, then you're basically just being discriminatory—get it? Because by saying that, you're implying that having money is the only thing that actually matters.
I’d say you’re totally missing the forest for the trees here... basically, because of your intense bias against women, you've ended up veering into discriminating against men too—correct me if I'm wrong, but that seems to be what's happening.

I honestly think you're being ridiculous... ☕
Is this constant irritability a regular thing for you, or does it only happen when you fail to dominate a conversation? Or maybe it's just PMS?
🤔

Sandra Parker3 said:Look, if you want to imply it’s actually the other way around, that's totally fine by me.
I honestly can't even be bothered to comment on all this jumping around nonsense.

Seriously, have you forgotten that I’m completely broke right now, or what?🤔 I honestly can't remember what you were complaining about being "extracted" from last time.

I don't see any point in trying to talk sense into you, since I've already figured out exactly where you stand.
Honestly, I’m just looking to squeeze a little more out of you—sort of like a bit of self-inflicted torture.

And you think it’s just small towns, farming, and cookies? That's all there is to it, huh?

Well, if possible, let's aim for somewhere in Chicago. 🙄🤣

I'm honestly just curious, purely out of interest, what exactly defines a "woman for a serious relationship" in your book?

The fact that you're circling back to attack me again, well, I get it. 🙏

It’s not like I ever claimed an unemployed man is some kind of "dream guy" that some Trump should be funding; I was simply addressing your obsession with the necessity of having a job (which basically means financial independence) specifically when it comes to men
.
For your information, very few men dream of a woman whose parents foot the bill for their dates, so naturally, he'll eventually step up and take over that role himself. It's not that they don't exist, but unlike you, I don't view it as "charity"—it's actually quite the opposite
or maybe it is "charity," but directed toward oneself
but hey, you could argue either way, I guess

Once again, you find yourself defending your positions... it seems you're the only one who remembers claiming to be "financially weak." Being vindictive just means you actually are; you proved it yourself. Hardly any man dreams of a woman whose outings are funded by her parents... is that based on personal experience or what???? 😁 Regardless, thanks for the info.

As for relationships, for me, the only serious connection is MARRIAGE.
And regarding trying to convince or dissuade YOU: has it ever occurred to you (independent of your own ego) that the core issue here isn't a philosophical debate on male-female dynamics,but rather the actual life circumstances and specific struggles of another person. ☕

Sandra Parker3 said:I'm not fighting, I was just asking you a serious question about why a man is expected to have a job "because he's a man"🙄

So, did you just say something you didn't actually mean again? 🤷

It wasn't about having a degree, it was about employment and having actual, tangible money to work with—like being able to buy a round for your friends, or just not relying on someone else for everything
or are you suggesting it's perfectly fine for a woman to be supported while the man acts as the sole provider?

I have no idea where you got the notion that guys from the Midwest value housewives more than anyone else, but even if that were true, being a "housewife" doesn't mean you can't have a degree, and just because someone doesn't have a degree doesn't mean they aren't educated... or automatically unemployed, it's just a circular argument

Or do you honestly think guys from small towns are just old-fashioned and want their wives to stay at home? 😁
Maybe they just want total control, and let's face it, there's no better way to exert control than through finances, at least initially

Or, quite simply, you just weren't thinking 🤷

Looking at the bolded parts, regarding money, anything is possible. But realistically, a guy from a small town can't expect Ivanka Trump to parachute out of a helicopter, land on his family farm, propose to him, and offer financial security followed by a fairy tale ending of "happily ever after." Maybe you're that soft-hearted, but we aren't all the same.
☕
And most men from rural areas appreciate women who are more home-oriented—you know, people who enjoy cooking, baking, and raising kids. I haven't heard of a single farmer looking for a corporate manager, nor vice versa.
If you have an example that can change my mind, please, lay it on me.....
I'm not counting men who grew up in the country but spend all their time in the city.
Also, I'm fairly certain no woman looking for a serious relationship dreams of a man whose outings, even just grabbing coffee, are funded by his parents... unless she's "charitable" like you.😁

Sandra Parker3 said:🤣

Oh, excuse me, honey, so what is it a woman needs to do for things to go their "natural course"????????????????

Have a working man on standby (even if he's in the wrong field)? 🙄

I see you edited your post, but it didn't change a single thing about what was already said...

There you go again, picking a fight! You never tire of it... honestly, how would I manage without you? 🤷
If she were a woman, hmmm, he wouldn't even need a college degree. You know those guys from the rural Midwest—they really value a good homemaker. ☕

ironwolf82 Asks:
After years of experience, I am almost certain that people mock me. Life has been incredibly difficult for me, and the weight of all those hardships and frustrations is written all over my face. I live in a tiny town where everyone knows everyone else's business.
I am 29 years old, and I feel as though I have achieved very little. I am not married—though my community expects me to have two children by now—and I am currently unemployed despite having a college degree. I lack a serious relationship, and I struggle deeply with my appearance and my ability to attract women. It is difficult to face. I rarely venture out because I feel like such a failure. When I do, people—both young and old—immediately mock me or look away. It makes me terrified to leave the house, and when I am out, I just look panicked. Based on how they react, I can tell they think my face is a joke and that I'm just some idiot who hasn't accomplished anything in life. All of this leaves me feeling incredibly low, and my quality of life feels diminished. On top of my existing struggles, this constant blow to my self-esteem makes me truly unhappy. I have never intentionally caused harm to anyone. I find myself wondering why people harbor such resentment toward me. Why am I so disliked?It is their right to judge me however they please. Yet, I struggle deeply to stop it from hurting. This weighs heavily on my heart. Why is that?
I will say this again: I have done no harm to anyone, nor have I mocked a single soul. There is simply no reason for such hostility. I sit here wondering why people act this way—why they seem to crave seeing me struggle or suffer. Why does it matter? I am merely living my life, and that should be enough.
I could really use someone to talk to. I need some advice on how to overcome my own internal struggles. I truly don't know how to find a way forward. I am 29 years old.

You are overthinking this. Most people around us rarely look past their own immediate needs, regardless of how we perceive them. We are all the protagonists of our own stories. Please, don't be so hard on yourself. The only person who truly dislikes you in this thread is you. To everyone else, you are likely just a shadow. It is up to you to use your actions and attitudes to help them see you as a unique, positive, and engaged individual. People are easy to influence—it's just that you seem to hesitate at the very first step.
If you aren't happy with where you are, you can always pack your bags and move on. Perhaps you simply weren't meant to stay in this small town.

And yes, since you are a man, if you want things to follow their natural course, you really should have a job. Always. It isn't necessarily about working in your specific field, but if you plan on being unemployed, you simply must find work. 👎Let’s be honest: no woman wants a guy who can't even afford a cup of coffee. How is a man like that supposed to provide for a family?
Nobody wants to back a guy whose crew needs funding, and he's never even willing to buy a round.
Nobody wants to be around someone who has nothing to offer but constant complaints. It is quite draining.
Is there anyone else? Perhaps just my mother.
So, grow up. 👍
No one is to blame for the circumstances they struggled to survive, but the past shouldn't be allowed to dictate the future. We have so much power to change our lives; we just often lack the awareness to see it. For instance, if you spend twenty-nine years in a tiny rural town, you feel old—but move to New York City, and suddenly you’re just getting started. Who even thinks about marriage before thirty in a place like that? One must learn to distinguish between their own true convictions and the toxic attitudes imposed by a small-town environment.

ironwolf82 said:After years of dealing with this, I’ve developed this nagging feeling—and I’m about 99% sure I'm right—that people are laughing at me. Life hasn't exactly been easy on me so far, and I think all those hardships and frustrations have just etched themselves onto my face. I live in a really small town where everyone knows everyone else's business.
I'm 29 now, and honestly, I feel like I haven't accomplished much. I'm not married (in this community, people expect you to already have two kids by now), I'm unemployed (even though I have my degree, there just aren't any jobs available), I don't have a serious partner, and I'm not particularly good-looking—which is something I struggle to accept myself. Because I feel like a failure, I rarely go out, and when I do, the reaction from people—both younger and older—is usually mockery or avoidance. It makes me terrified to go out, and when I finally do, I end up looking visibly anxious. Based on how they act, I can tell they think my face looks ridiculous, or that I'm just some loser who hasn't achieved anything in life.
All of this just makes life feel so heavy and low-quality. On top of everything else, it completely crushes my self-esteem and leaves me feeling miserable, even though I've never done anything to hurt anyone. I find myself wondering why people seem to dislike or even hate me...
Sure, it's their right to judge me how they want, but I just don't know how to stop it from getting to me. That's the part that's really eating away at me. Why does it have to be this way?
Again, I keep coming back to the fact that I haven't been mean to anyone or mocked anyone, so there shouldn't be a reason for this. I sit there wondering why people are like this, why they seem to want to see me struggling. Why should they care, when I'm just living my own life?
I really need someone to talk to. I could use some advice on how to deal with these feelings and work through this internally. I truly don't know what the solution is... I'm 29, after all.

Are you fighting against yourself, or are you trying to fight for yourself?

I suffer from insomnia as well. I simply cannot fall asleep before 2 or 3 in the morning, regardless of how much caffeine I consume or whether I am working or resting. It is truly maddening. It got so bad that I had to find a job with afternoon shifts because I can barely drag myself out of bed before 10 AM. I cannot function without adequate sleep; if I am forced to wake up any earlier, my entire day is absolutely ruined.😢

I went through something very similar myself.
At just four years old, even a single instance of inappropriate contact or witnessing something improper involving anatomy—not necessarily an assault—is enough to leave lasting scars on your psyche. It can deeply damage how you view your own body and your sense of self-worth.
I truly believe you should reach out to a psychologist.
For me, these memories didn't surface clearly until they started creeping into my dreams, fifteen years later.
Please, see a professional; there is nothing to lose by trying.

Being naked makes a person feel vulnerable, and you probably feel that way too. Besides, why should anyone even be looking? It’s all perfectly normal. I suspect you're a private person, which is fine, but I think you still need to learn how to accept your body as part of who you are. It is truly the most precious thing you will ever own... for the rest of your life.👍

I recall being an incredibly wild child until about age three. I insisted on walking around the house completely naked and refused to wear clothes for anything at all... I even once bolted out of the apartment toward the elevator totally bare, which resulted in my mother giving me a firm scolding.... Everyone was baffled by such stubbornness regarding getting dressed...
then, around the age of four or five, I remember constantly burying myself in piles of laundry because I felt a deep sense of aversion toward my own body. Even routine checkups at the doctor or any kind of physical contact felt repulsive to me... though, truth be told, I had much deeper reasons for that...

You are afraid of yourself because you don't truly know who you are. As you noted, you are simply following a path dictated by those around you. Please, consider speaking with a professional. Most people follow this social rhythm merely as an excuse to avoid the hard work of self-discovery and questioning their own core values. What you believe yourself to be might be quite different from your true nature.