Posts by Adam Miller46

Since you seem like the type who feels compelled to weigh everyone else's "opinions," I’d suggest sticking only to those people you are emotionally attached to and/or those from whom you have immediate benefits...as for the third group, they fall under the category of "I couldn't care less" 😁so just keep your chin up 👍
Besides, people often ask questions just for the sake of it, much like asking "How are you?"

Do you really need a doctor to tell you that you need to lower your body's overall acidity? 😕
Just buy some alkaline powder, take two Acidophilus supplements daily, and cut your intake of alkaline carbohydrates to an absolute minimum—permanently. ☕

Laura Hayes74 said:I'll try to keep this brief,

I can say for certain that I'm staring down a brutal, long, and totally unpredictable stretch of surgeries, setbacks, and constant pain, all just for the POTENTIAL chance to get back to some semblance of a normal life—which honestly doesn't even feel like much of a win when you consider I'll likely be a burden on everyone else for a long time with a really uncertain future ahead of me.

Right now, I can get through my days without too much trouble, but that won't last forever, especially if I go through with these operations. What I'm seriously weighing is whether it makes more sense to just take the time and the opportunity I have right now to live out this one (shorter) chapter as best as I can, and then... when the time comes... just handle things on my own terms and end it.

Death doesn't scare me, and religion isn't something that weighs on my mind either. The only thing that actually worries me is the idea that my choice might hurt my family, and I've spent a lot of time chewing on that. To be honest, I think they have an outdated and pretty flawed way of looking at death, and at the end of the day, it really just comes down to a balancing act between pleasing myself or pleasing them. Personally, I just don't see the point in enduring all that misery... I'd much rather make the most of the time I have left and leave on my own terms, in peace...

It wouldn't be right for me to come here and ask for specific advice on how to end my life, but if anyone has some actual wisdom to share or advice to give, I'm all ears. Would you guys support someone making this call if they were facing what I'm facing? How would you handle it? I mean, what the heck, what would you even do or where would you go if you knew your life was going to be over a year from today?

PS. Don't go trying to send me to a shrink, I'm pretty level-headed :)
PPS. The specifics of my illness don't matter for this, I already know everything I need to know, so please don't even go there.

I think your line of thinking is completely misguided. I don't understand people who would end things because of upcoming suffering or illness that hasn't even arrived yet; that illness will eventually claim you regardless. Death is inevitable, and any sane person wants to live. To me, suicide or an efficient euthanasia process seems acceptable only if a person is in the final stages of cancer, just to spare themselves and their loved ones the constant agony and prolonged struggle.
If I thought my life was coming to an end, I would research the illness and treatment options as much as possible, prepare myself for the fight, study how others handled it, and be ready for a total internal transformation and a complete change in lifestyle. I wouldn't change everything just to fight the disease, but to actually *live*... and I'd try to find joy by doing constructive things I never had the courage or will to do before.
A few years ago, I met a man who took his own life because he ended up in a wheelchair; he drove his wheelchair into the ocean while intoxicated. It’s interesting that before his accident, he lived quite recklessly, causing trouble for everyone at home and always driving fast cars.
His inability to stop being SELF-INDULGENT (living by the philosophy of "everything must always be easy and comfortable for me") was probably the peak of his suffering. On the other hand, you have people who accept their illness as an opportunity for personal growth, learning, and ultimate change.
The ones I love most are those who play basketball in wheelchairs and find joy in the game like children.😁
Ultimately, it all depends on what you define as SUFFERING.
Personally, if I could give every shallow and impulsive person the chance to face a serious illness with an uncertain outcome, I would, just so they could learn the true values of life.

Laura Hayes74 said:Thanks for all the input, everyone.

To those of you saying you’d fight to the bitter end regardless of the circumstances, I’ve got one question for you. Do you honestly believe you could actually keep that promise when the moment truly hits? Is that something you say because you genuinely feel you have that kind of grit, or did you see someone else pull off something similar that inspired you? (And I’m not talking about Susan Lewis2, if you catch my drift.) Are you actually prepared to just go to bed and spend every single minute staring at a blank white wall for, say, the next year? I know I’m probably being a bit intense with this question, but I just want to push you guys to think a little deeper about what you're saying. It’s easy to talk a big game and convince yourself you’re made of steel, but that illusion tends to shatter right when you need it most.

Also, a quick question for the whole group:
How would you even begin to share a thought like this with your family? I think my parents are pretty level-headed and they’d eventually get it, but I can't see any way to bring it up without causing a massive scene. The initial shock would just wreck them and they wouldn't be able to think straight; I'd be doing more harm than good just by opening my mouth, and since everything is still so theoretical right now, I’m not sure if it's even worth the fallout.

If I believed it would lead to a positive outcome, then absolutely... just look up the concept of visualization in professional sports...

Laura Hayes74 said:@samting: without getting into any "major surgeries," you might get maybe a year or so out of it, depending on how things play out and just how effective those temporary fixes end up being.
If you go the route of "serious operations," the goal is obviously a longer lifespan—aiming for those double digits. But don't let this seemingly obvious or "simple" choice fool you; the reality is way more complicated, and there's a massive chance you just end up spending years bouncing between hospitals and operating rooms only to face an inevitable ending that’s much harder to deal with.

@armagedon: I've realized firsthand just how much of a mental game this all is. And look, I'm not disputing that; you have to be strong and determined and constantly push yourself forward, otherwise nothing really matters. But where I disagree is with this whole "coward vs. warrior" narrative. Personally, I don't think there's anything honorable about a guy trying to fight a wildfire with a handheld fan when he's got a tank of rocket fuel sitting right next to him to burn through it in a second.😁 Okay, it's a bit of a goofy analogy, but it captures exactly what I'm getting at.

Our entire perception of life is psychological. Perhaps psychotherapy could serve as the first step toward true self-healing...

I truly wish I were naturally more engaged with my surroundings so I wouldn't have to pretend everything is fine. Honestly, I'm just exhausted from constantly forcing myself to keep up and trying to maintain a faster metabolism.

😘 Even a pet can be a twin 😁

I am truly wondering 🤔 if this might be my pet?

Let’s just simplify this...
Most of us naturally have an aversion to destructive behavior.
Yet, we remain a mass easily swayed by marketing, media, and TV manipulation.
There is that old saying: "Monkey see, monkey do."

A person almost always restrains actions that would kill another member of their own species.
And average people don't feel the need for such intense inhibition regarding sexual behavior—in fact, they embrace it quite readily.
Just imagine if the entire world started having sex in all sorts of combinations constantly, simply because TV portrays it as normal and desirable twenty times a day. 😁
That is especially concerning when it comes to children.

But then again, maybe I'm wrong. 🤷

James Bennett9 said:Hi everyone. I’m asking about a 20-year-old woman who hasn't had any mental health struggles before this. It all started about three weeks ago when her behavior shifted suddenly, for no reason I can figure out. She used to be pretty calm by nature. But three weeks back, she became incredibly high-energy, driven, and talkative... just a complete 180. A totally different person. And then, about 3 or 4 days ago, she became something else entirely. I don't really know how to describe it, so let me give you an example of what’s happening. She’ll lie in bed, get up, lie back down, get up, go to the kitchen, sit, stand, sit, stand, start walking toward her room, then halfway there turn right back to the kitchen (she does this several times) until she finally makes it back to the bed. Then she'll pull the covers off and on dozens of times, or adjust her pillow dozens of times... she spends the whole day doing this, occasionally changing the pattern. When she’s alone in her room, she just paces constantly—lying down, getting up, lying down... If you ask her something, she answers if she knows (though she doesn't know much right now), but you have to practically pull the words out of her. You have to ask over and over again. She sighs heavily all the time, her eyes tear up, she stares at her hands hundreds of times a day, touches her stomach just as often... she touches other parts of her body too, almost like she's checking to see if they feel warm or cold. She says she's scared. When you ask what for, she says things like "I'm scared for everything," "I'm scared for myself," or "I'm scared of my bed"... just these strange, made-up things. She isn't sleeping well, isn't eating much. I've noticed it's like she's herself for a few seconds, then not herself for a few seconds, though the ratio is maybe 1:10 in a bad way... I'm pleading with you to tell me whatever you think this could be, whether from your own experience or your knowledge... we haven't taken her to a doctor yet...
Thanks for any answers or comments you can offer

Why is she staying inside the house all day?
If we rule out the side effects of amphetamine use, based on these recent symptoms: psychomotor agitation, likely depersonalization, derealization, being withdrawn, and self-neglect, it suggests some kind of acute psychosis... get her to a doctor immediately.
Or, more simply, perhaps she just hates WHERE SHE IS, given the limited freedom to move around.

silentpilot6 said:A while back, after watching a movie about Ted Bundy (one of the worst serial killers in history), I did a bit of digging into the subject.
Now, it’s been quite some time and much of it has faded from my mind, but...

Yes, as you have noted, the vast majority of serial killers are men... and they generally kill out of "passion" 😵 and/or a desire for power... whereas women most often kill for material gain.

Furthermore, most come from dysfunctional families... whether it's a dominant, possessive mother and a weak father (or no father at all), sometimes the situation is reversed, or perhaps the parents struggle with alcoholism, leaving the child neglected or often cruelly punished... there was even one case where a mother forced her son to act like a girl, even sending him to school in women's clothing...
It also happens that they come from strict households of religious fanatics, raised to believe that sex is something evil, dirty, or low... that women should be avoided, blah, blah, blah...
It is interesting that a large majority of serial killers were under heavy maternal influence...

Additionally, they are characterized (though one cannot generalize, it is true for most) by emotional coldness, a total lack of empathy, and egocentrism... they are mostly socially isolated, lacking friends, possessing poor social skills, and having little to no success with the opposite sex... or, to put it simply 😁—they are oddballs.
Most began by torturing and killing animals during adolescence.

Moreover, and this is almost a rule, they collect either body parts of their victims, their clothing, or they record their deeds... they say this is done to "reminisce" 😵 and relive the crimes. Cases of cannibalism are not uncommon either.
Similarly, the murders almost always become increasingly frequent... the tempo accelerates.

The victims are most often people whose disappearance won't be noticed quickly, or who aren't being heavily searched for... prostitutes, the homeless, or various people living on the fringes of society... though that isn't always the case.
Victims often share connections... whether through status or other similar characteristics. Often the victims are of the same gender, but even that isn't a rule. Certain serial killers target both men and women.
Take Ted Bundy, for example... he primarily killed young boys, but he also killed girls...

Furthermore, many serial killers have a high IQ, though there have certainly been some "low-functioning" ones as well...

Anyway, that is basically what stuck with me 😁; if you want to dig deeper online, there really is a massive amount of literature on the topic...

I have always been intrigued by why people—and psychiatrists in movies, anyway—link serial killers to psychopaths. Psychopaths, by definition, lack emotional experiences. Yet, serial killers take trophies specifically to more intensely recall their own and their victims' emotions and sensations... over and over again. This seems to contradict psychopathic coldness and the inability to feel emotion. I would truly love for someone to clarify this for me.

shadowowl9 said:Serial killers are typically men carrying around heavy childhood trauma—most were abused or abandoned by their parents (or victimized by others).
A surge of male hormones during puberty, combined with a fractured psyche, fuels an intense aggression and a thirst for vengeance. They develop a "mother complex"—it could be the father too, though that's less common—where they project their issues onto any woman who fits a certain mold, often targeting sex workers.
Women generally lack that specific hormonal "aggression" drive, so they don't embark on these types of retaliatory crusades. That doesn't mean they don't harbor just as much hatred for certain individuals as men do. But even among women, there are exceptions to the rule, which ultimately proves it: occasionally, they become serial killers too.

That's exactly right. Female aggression in "serial killer" cases is usually subtle and hidden, much like their preferred method of poisoning. While some women might show explicit aggression due to genetics or psycho-sexual hormones, those examples are far less common...
A few thoughts on atypical female aggression

http://209.85.135.132/search?q=cache...&ct=clnk&gl=us

Lawrence Lopez12 said:So, here's the deal... This woman spent years being physically and mentally broken down by her husband. We're talking regular violence—bruises, beatings, the whole ugly spectrum. She eventually got divorced, obviously. Her daughter reached out to me afterward, and honestly, the girl is incredible; she managed to grow up into a totally stable, successful adult despite everything. But the kicker? Her brothers didn't lift a finger. Not once did they react to what was happening to their sister. And I’m not just talking about her brothers, either—I mean the uncles of the person I was talking to. What am I supposed to make of people like that? Were they just "minding their own business," or were they just petty and jealous of her? Or maybe they just didn't want to rock the boat? To me, it feels like they were just spineless cowards who stayed silent and, by doing nothing, basically gave him the green light to keep going.

There are always multiple sides to a story like this.
Maybe they actually tried to help and she pushed them away, and after being rejected a few times, they just gave up. Or perhaps they grew up in a dysfunctional home themselves, leading her to marry someone she thought was a "protector," only for him to turn out to be the aggressor...
Otherwise, they might truly be cowards, emotionally numb, or simply raised in a culture where they believe this kind of dynamic is just how relationships work.

Hatred is a unique force; it creates a bond even where absolutely nothing else connects people...
It has always fascinated me how two opposing sides—or even several—will suddenly find common ground the moment they identify a shared enemy...

Admin, would you mind deleting my duplicate posts under 79 and 80, along with this one? I seem to have posted the exact same thing multiple times. It’s quite embarrassing, really. Thank you. 😁

Walter Evans3 said:So, my 83-year-old grandmother—who has always been incredibly sharp and well-read—has recently started acting quite strangely. She lives with her daughter, who works long hours and is rarely home, while the rest of the family only drops by once a week for short visits, so she spends a lot of time alone. Now we’re facing a real crisis because she suddenly announced to everyone that she’s getting married, which came as a massive shock to the whole family. She’s started going out and staying away from the house for an hour or two at a time, and we were all convinced she was out with this supposed fiancé, but then we discovered that he doesn't actually exist!!! She has begun inventing all sorts of things; she wanders off, stays out late, talks to herself on the street or in the house, and at night she'll lie in bed laughing, talking, or crying. She often holds her hand up to her ear and insists that we just can't see the receiver, claiming it’s a "military" earpiece that only she and her "boyfriend" can perceive... if anyone suggests she's just talking to herself, she gets defensive and laughs it off as if it isn't true. I tried a different approach once—when she said this person wanted to meet me, I told her I was ready, but when I actually got dressed, she told me "he" couldn't make it. Essentially, we've all come to the conclusion that this is like an imaginary friend for a child, but nobody knows how to handle it or how to talk to her about it. As her granddaughter, this is especially painful because, I have to emphasize, she was always such an intelligent, educated woman, and I never expected this to happen; plus, she is putting herself in danger by walking around at night, especially since her vision isn't what it used to be. We don't live close by, so unfortunately I can only visit a few times a year, but she always used to look forward to seeing me; now, she can hardly wait to lock herself in her room to talk to this imaginary person... I am deeply worried about her, and if anyone knows what kind of condition this might be, please help me... thank you in advance!

It's obvious here. She has built an entire imaginary world where she feels happy, and you all are seen as outside intruders threatening her peace...
Maybe try finding a really "empathetic" therapist to bring to the house, otherwise, she might turn aggressive... you're "threatening her world."
Then perhaps a neurologist.

Walter Evans3 said:Look, I honestly have no idea who her doctor is or how I’m even supposed to get in touch with them since I don't know this city at all; I moved away when I was just a kid and only make it back once a year for about a week, while everyone else stays put and seemingly refuses to lift a finger... I really believed that my coming to visit would make a difference, but now it feels like things might actually be getting worse for her. She has such a massive family, with children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, yet no one seems to be making an effort to help her, or even bother visiting her, whereas I—living 311 miles far away from here while everyone else is right next door—am the only one who has actually tried to do something, which meant posting a question here anonymously just to get some clarity on what we need to do, because when I first arrived, I was completely blindsided by shock and disbelief, and frankly, I just had no clue what was happening

I get the feeling none of you truly care about this elderly woman, though you are still quite pitiable... she’s completely abandoned. I felt that clearly when you wrote, "She has a huge family." There is zero emotional closeness 🙄. Everyone sees how much she's struggling, so it's no wonder no one trusts her. I can only imagine her disappointment... honestly, you don't even call her "my grandmother." Plus, what is that famous daughter living in the apartment with her actually doing? It feels like she'd rather the woman pass away or lose her mind entirely so she could be institutionalized... good grief, the neglect is staggering...
I think the best thing for Grandma would be to sell that apartment and secure a spot in a decent assisted living facility. At least there she'll have people her own age to talk to and can actually live out her remaining years with some dignity...

Walter Evans3 said:What exactly should we tell her regarding why the doctor showed up, especially since she’s making it clear she has no interest in hearing from him? It seems she is merely speaking to him—listening to his voice without actually seeing him there... she insists they met once sometime in the past, though she won't say when exactly that was.

There are different types of "imaginary companions." One is typical for children, while the other occurs in adults during a near-psychotic state. Why would the grandmother talk to him if she can't see him?
It is because "he" isn't just a hallucination; he is a mental construct built from her memories of someone who was once a real part of her life. He simply takes on that person's appearance.
Why does she talk to him or hear him? Because she has projected her own thoughts, desires, and emotions onto this imaginary figure. Essentially, she "hears" exactly what she wants to hear from "him," because that is the entire purpose of this imaginary friend:to act as a separate entity who loves herand truly cares for her. If you imagine being old, lonely, and feeling neglected or unloved... well, nothing is impossible.
But I might be wrong.🤷

Walter Evans3 said:What exactly should we tell her regarding why the doctor showed up, especially since she’s making it clear she has no interest in hearing from him? It seems she is merely speaking to him—listening to his voice without actually seeing him there... she insists they met once sometime in the past, though she won't say when exactly that was.

There are different types of "imaginary companions." One is typical for children, while another occurs in adults during near-psychotic episodes. Why would her grandmother talk to him but not see him?
It’s because "he" isn't a hallucination. He is a mental construct built from memories of someone who was once a real part of her life—someone who looks just like them.
Why does she talk to him, or rather, why does she hear him? It's because she has projected her own thoughts, desires, and emotions onto this imaginary figure. Essentially, she "hears" exactly what she wants to hear, because that is the entire purpose of this imaginary friend. He exists to be a separate person who loves her and truly cares about her. If you imagine being elderly, lonely, and feeling neglected or unloved... nothing here is impossible.

Walter Evans3 said:What exactly should we tell her regarding why the doctor showed up, especially since she’s making it clear she has no interest in hearing from him? It seems she is merely speaking to him—listening to his voice without actually seeing him there... she insists they met once sometime in the past, though she won't say when exactly that was.

There are actually different types of "imaginary companions." One is typical for children, while the other occurs in adults experiencing a near-psychotic state. Why does Grandma talk to him if she can't see him?
It's because "he" isn't just a hallucination; he is a mental construct she built based on memories of someone who was actually real in her life at one point. He looks like that person.
Why does she talk to him, or rather, why does she hear him? Because she has projected her own thoughts, desires, and emotions onto this imaginary figure. In essence, she "hears" exactly what she wants to hear from "him," because that is the entire purpose of this imaginary friend: to act as a separate entity who loves her and truly cares. Just try to imagine being old, lonely, and feeling neglected, unloved, or maybe even rejected.

Walter Evans3 said:I wanted to check in with an update—for the last few days, we’ve mostly been pretending everything is fine, or at least I have been since I’ve been by her side 24/7, which is honestly starting to wear me down. She’s been claiming there are listening devices hidden all over her apartment and that he can hear everything—could this be schizophrenia? She eventually gave me a full name for this man, and when I brought it up to my mother, she told me the man actually passed away six years ago. Apparently, he had asked her to marry him about ten years ago, but she turned him down back then because she felt he was just trying to exploit her—his plan was to move into her place, sell his own house, and hand all the cash over to his kids. Now, though, she insists he is a wonderful person.
To make a long story short, she barely mentioned him on Wednesday or Thursday, so I thought she was finally calming down, but then Friday hit like a ton of bricks. Out of nowhere, she starts planning to buy rings, booking a venue, and even calling a cousin—who had absolutely no idea what was happening—to drive them around to get everything done. When I tried to step in and tell her not to waste money like this, she got upset and spent the rest of the day in tears, though I didn't have the heart to tell her that the man isn't even alive. When she woke up Saturday morning and told her aunt, who lives with us, things really boiled over. Her aunt wasn't screaming, but she was speaking with this frantic, nervous energy, trying to explain that this man doesn't exist and that she’s just driving everyone crazy. That caused her to break down, and things were quiet until this morning, when she snapped that she doesn't care if we don't want her to marry him; she’s going to do it regardless. Now, we’re starting to fear that this whole "wedding" obsession might have nothing to do with his death. 😢 😢 😢 😢 By the way, she isn't sleeping at all, she's hardly eating, and she's already lost about nine pounds. And when we suggested that maybe it’s time to go talk to a professional, she just looked at us like we were the ones losing our minds. 😳/

Either I am being a bit dense, but I can conclude one thing: your grandmother was a relatively healthy, vibrant woman at 73 (ten years ago) who was still capable of marrying. Now, please explain this to me based on the bolded part above... how could a man over 70 "take advantage" of an elderly woman if he leaves his own earned home to his descendants, moves into hers, and they simply live off their combined Social Security? That makes no sense to me. In that scenario, he isn't exploiting anyone; he is just securing his children's future. Honestly, I think she has become fixated on this specific situation—this lost opportunity—precisely because she deeply regrets not saying yes. Especially considering the type of daughter she has, whose only interest would be preventing that man from moving in or her mother remarrying.

redharbor9 said:Yeah, there is. It's called psychotherapy. 🙂

I would also suggest limiting contact with toxic parents, especially since they still refuse to respect your boundaries now that you're an adult...