Help! Does anyone know why they're acting like this?
in Psychology ·
Walter Evans3 said:So, my 83-year-old grandmother—who has always been incredibly sharp and well-read—has recently started acting quite strangely. She lives with her daughter, who works long hours and is rarely home, while the rest of the family only drops by once a week for short visits, so she spends a lot of time alone. Now we’re facing a real crisis because she suddenly announced to everyone that she’s getting married, which came as a massive shock to the whole family. She’s started going out and staying away from the house for an hour or two at a time, and we were all convinced she was out with this supposed fiancé, but then we discovered that he doesn't actually exist!!! She has begun inventing all sorts of things; she wanders off, stays out late, talks to herself on the street or in the house, and at night she'll lie in bed laughing, talking, or crying. She often holds her hand up to her ear and insists that we just can't see the receiver, claiming it’s a "military" earpiece that only she and her "boyfriend" can perceive... if anyone suggests she's just talking to herself, she gets defensive and laughs it off as if it isn't true. I tried a different approach once—when she said this person wanted to meet me, I told her I was ready, but when I actually got dressed, she told me "he" couldn't make it. Essentially, we've all come to the conclusion that this is like an imaginary friend for a child, but nobody knows how to handle it or how to talk to her about it. As her granddaughter, this is especially painful because, I have to emphasize, she was always such an intelligent, educated woman, and I never expected this to happen; plus, she is putting herself in danger by walking around at night, especially since her vision isn't what it used to be. We don't live close by, so unfortunately I can only visit a few times a year, but she always used to look forward to seeing me; now, she can hardly wait to lock herself in her room to talk to this imaginary person... I am deeply worried about her, and if anyone knows what kind of condition this might be, please help me... thank you in advance!
This really does sound like an imaginary friend from childhood. My thought is that, given what was mentioned above, Grandma likely knows he isn't real, but creating him makes it easier to deal with the loneliness... and she simply doesn't want to let go, because honestly, what else is she getting in return??? Almost zero attention from the family, which isn't pleasant, and she probably feels unloved or left out... besides, if someone is highly intelligent and imaginative, they can't just flip a switch and turn their brain off to become a vegetable... instead of treating her like some freak who needs to be analyzed, maybe it wouldn't hurt to communicate with her more, so she sees she can get love and support in reality and doesn't have to seek it in her imagination...
I heard a story once about a gentleman who would walk or sit on a park bench every single day with his wife. Their conversations were lively and very intelligent... there was just one issue: the wife was invisible, meaning she had passed away a long time ago. But that didn't stop him from keeping her alive within himself... people would wonder who he was talking to, but when they spoke to him, he would respond quite intelligently; he didn't sound like a schizophrenic talking to a ghost... I suspect his imagination is exactly what keeps him going. Sometimes people feel so miserable and lonely that they'd rather end it all, and a psychiatrist once noted that what looks like psychosis to outsiders is often the final defense mechanism a personality uses to prevent suicide. So, just let Grandma have her joy, if you aren't able to fully replace it....