Posts by silentnomad8

copperdrifter5 said:Jesus. It honestly fascinates me how some people feel the need to dump unsolicited advice on complete strangers—pregnant women or moms with toddlers—regardless of whether they actually have any experience with kids themselves.

Nobody ever tries to give me life advice while I'm riding the subway to work. Or when I'm grabbing a steak. Or while I'm waiting in line at a public restroom. Or any other random moment in my life.

Stroller, baby, gear... the solution for many of these "one-hit wonders" is just to spout stupid, unnecessary, and unwanted opinions.

The other day, a building cleaner actually lectured me because she saw me walking back with just one single bag from Target, which is only a five-minute walk from my place. She told me I should be more careful. 🤣 It was more funny than annoying to me. I just smile and keep moving.
Especially when everyone gives such conflicting advice. One person tells you to lie down and not move an inch, while someone else insists you need to walk for an hour every day.

Carol Palmer90 said:What really gets under my skin is how a handful of people constantly spout those old wives' tales, insisting, "Oh, you're carrying a boy, they just misled you about your bump shape" or "The way you're feeling means it's definitely a boy..."

My wife keeps saying it’s a girl every single time we talk. Look, I realize there can be surprises, but she's been showing from the very start and nothing suggests otherwise. My only wish is for a healthy baby, but I've had a gut feeling it was a girl since day one. Now that I'm nearly 35, I'm really hoping that intuition holds true, especially since we've all been addressing her as "she" for so long, and her mom is particularly excited... I am eagerly anticipating tomorrow's ultrasound just so they can confirm once again that it's a little girl. 🙄

All those superstitions about gender are ridiculous. I don't get how any young, smart person could actually believe them.
A few weeks ago, my sister-in-law and my aunt were intensely studying my wife's stomach to guess. My sister-in-law is convinced it's a boy, while my aunt isn't so sure. 😁
Supposedly, it should be a boy because of the skin tone, too. I remember hearing this myth that if it's a girl, the mother's skin and hair suffer because the baby is stealing her beauty. It sounded so absurd that it stuck in my head.
It would be pretty interesting if it turns out to be a girl in the end. 😁

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silentsurfer76, I'm still wearing my regular underwear and I've got four weeks left until my due date. I just avoid the low-rise pairs and stick to ones with a stronger waistband so I don't actually need maternity underwear. 😉

My bump didn't show for a long time either. People were constantly questioning me, wondering why there was no sign of a pregnancy at four or five months. Honestly, at five months, you couldn't even tell through my clothes if I was pregnant or just gained some weight. 😀 It wasn't until the third trimester that things finally popped out enough for people to realize.

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silentsurfer76 said:What really gets under my skin are those comments whenever I try to get things done or even just plan to be active: "You shouldn't do that," "You need to rest," "Be careful," blah blah blah. Like I’m some kind of invalid. Honestly, most of this comes from my mother-in-law.
As for my own mom and the rest of the family, they finally backed off after I shut them down a few times. They were pregnant too once and lived totally normal lives, so they get it—mostly. Why is pregnancy treated like a disease these days? Don't get me wrong, I know there are high-risk pregnancies and all that, but personally, I feel great. No morning sickness, no fatigue, just regular life. I do housework, I ride my bike, I head out to the farm with the family when they have gatherings😁 and enjoy it. Everything is just like it was before I got pregnant. Of course, I’m more cautious now because I don't want to risk anything for myself or the baby, obviously. But every woman's experience is different, and I think we know our own limits better than anyone else 👍

Then there's the commentary: "Have you really not gained any weight?" or "Well, what happens now?" I eat healthy, I stay active, I'm doing everything I did before. It's not like I'm just lying on the couch all day letting it all pile on—not that I mean to offend anyone 😁.

And since my husband is a merchant marine, I'll be on my own with the newborn while he's away, and my mother-in-law is always hovering. We even eat separately, yet she still starts in with, "Oh, what did you cook today? You aren't eating right," blah blah blah 😵🤦

Also, the idea that my mom or mother-in-law will just descend upon us to "help" once the baby arrives makes my skin crawl. Like one girl mentioned here, that’s exactly the period where I actually want to bond with my husband without everyone else's unsolicited advice ringing in my ears. Fine, we'll see how it goes once the baby is born, but honestly, I hope I can handle it on my own. I like doing things myself and I'm not exactly the type to jump at help. Like I said, we'll see 😉

And if I dare suggest that my kid might end up using hand-me-downs or second-hand stuff, that's when the real drama starts 😁😁. People act like it's a crime. "Tradition should be respected," "Use the old stroller," "Use the old crib," blah blah blah—or then they say nobody should buy anything until they're told exactly what's needed, which is also "wrong." Good grief 🙂

My mother-in-law acts like I'm incapacitated; maybe it's just their thing. 😁 But it doesn't bother me much because she isn't always here. If we lived together, I'd lose it. Right now, it's almost sweet how much she cares. Even if she treats me like I can't even walk, telling me "watch out" or "don't fall"...

On the flip side, I've only received positive feedback about not gaining weight. No one has accused me of not eating; instead, everyone says, "Oh, it's great you didn't gain weight, you look good. You'll have less to lose after the birth. After my second, the weight never left..."

As for gear, just take whatever is offered. Tell the family to feel free to give you the money they planned for a crib, so you can buy what the baby actually needs when the time comes.😉

William Perez4 said:Mine is already retired, so... 😁
And his mom is retired now too 😁 😁
For me, I basically just needed someone there to handle the laundry, the cleaning, and the cooking. 🙂 I really just couldn't manage it all on my own. And I honestly felt so good having that kind of support.
My husband should probably take some time off work soon to be with us, but I definitely won't hesitate to ask one of them to come over and help out, and I know they’d actually love to do it. It doesn't bother me one bit, and I’m not ashamed of it—I tell everyone I had help. On the other hand, I have this friend who absolutely refused to let anyone near her because she wanted to prove she could handle everything solo, and man, she really went through it. Then she goes around telling everyone how she pulled it all off by herself 🙂 I mean, who knows, I guess we're just built differently. 🙂

Of course, I don't plan on doing the cleaning and laundry for the first week or two either. My husband will handle that. 😁 Plus, we already have an arrangement with my mother-in-law and my own family to take turns bringing food, so we aren't turning down their help. 🙂
My issue is knowing that if my mom comes over, she won't just cook and clean. She'll push her advice about the baby and breastfeeding. I don't want that. From our conversations, I can already see she has outdated views, and she's stubborn. She would just annoy me.
Even if she wasn't like that, like Lenny said, I want my husband and me to bond with the baby and figure things out ourselves. I don't want to be one of those couples where the mom does everything and the dad can't even stay alone with the baby for half an hour because he doesn't know what to do. Most people, especially older generations, expect that, which leads to questions about whether my mom or mother-in-law is coming. When I say "no, there's no need," people act like I'm a single parent. That's what gets on my nerves, if I explained it well enough. 🤣

William Perez4 said:Ugh, I honestly don't even know how to respond to that, but for me, my mom actually stayed with me for a full month and a half after my first baby was born. My husband had to keep working, so he'd take off his Fridays and Saturdays (even though he usually works every Saturday), which meant my mom was there Monday through Thursday, and then he would step up from Friday through Sunday. And honestly? I don't think I could've done it alone, like, at all. For those first ten or fifteen days, I was pretty much just lying there, nursing, eating whenever, and heading to the bathroom. So, this time around, I'm really hoping either my mom or my mother-in-law—maybe even both of them taking turns—will be there to help me out.🙂

That’s different. I wouldn't want to be alone either. But my husband is going to take three weeks of vacation and be 100% focused on us. If I realize toward the end of that time that I can't handle it, then I'll call my mom.
It seems more logical to me to have my mom or mother-in-law take three weeks of vacation to be with us instead of my husband. It's not like they're retired and just sitting at home; everyone knows they both work. I really don't see it working that way. I'd rather struggle through the beginning with him than with my mom. He's the parent to this baby, not my mother.

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Olivia Nguyen3 said:It really bothered me when certain people at work would make comments like, "So what? I worked right up until my last day even with high blood pressure and didn't have any issues... surely you could manage too. You can handle a few more months of this." But honestly, I was already on six different blood pressure pills and only had room for two more before hitting my limit, and I was barely halfway through my recovery. Since I've been out on medical leave, my pressure has finally stabilized back down to a normal 125/85. When I was actually working, I was sitting at 155/110 and could barely function—and that was while I was already taking four pills plus three Normals.

Man, those people are the absolute worst. Always with the "I did it, why can't you?" attitude. Get lost. 😠

cosmiccyclist172 said:Back when I was pregnant, I couldn't sit still for more than five minutes—not that I can even do that much now that I'm not expecting.
"Just sit down and take a break."
"Come on, you need to rest, you're working for the baby! It’s not healthy for you to be on your feet all day!"
"Don't leave the little guy alone by himself for too long."
And then there's the constant questioning: "Do you always have him with you?" (As if I'd ever just leave him home alone while I run errands! 😲)

Then you get those people asking the kid, "Are you excited about having a sister?" or "Would you rather have a brother instead?"
Not to mention the absolute gems where they tell the toddler, "Well, Mom and Dad are going to love your sister way more than you, so we're sending you to live with Grandma and Grandpa!" :bacitćubombu:

😲 Good grief. If I actually said that, they'd probably give me such a rude response that we wouldn't speak for years because of how much they'd pout. 😁

Betty Davis93 said:It’s almost been a full year since we moved to our new city
And everyone keeps asking if I’m planning to have the baby back in my old hometown.
God, why??
I mean, think about the logistics—I’d probably have to head back there at least ten days before my due date, just to stay with either my family or his... and both houses are always absolutely packed with people. So, I’d be giving birth there, and then stuck in a crowded house with a newborn until I’m finally mobile enough to make the trip back to our actual "home."
And no, it's not like we moved to some tiny rural town without a local clinic or anything—there's plenty of medical help nearby, and it's not even a question of whether someone will be available to assist me. My mom has already cleared her vacation schedule for it too...
So yeah, it’s just one of those things that is seriously getting on my nerves right now.

On a related note, what really gets to me is how some people assume that once the baby arrives, either my mom or my mother-in-law should basically move in to help. It's like they think I don't have a husband. As if he won't handle the housework or the baby just because he's a man.

Sarah Hernandez87 said:I couldn't agree more... My husband is incredibly caring and is constantly hovering around me, refusing to let me even touch the vacuum cleaner 🤣🤣 which can be quite jarring at times, but as the pregnancy progresses and I realize how much less I'm actually able to do, I've stopped letting it get to me...
As for the other thing, oh yes, I hear that primarily from my mother and it drives me absolutely crazy; she just couldn't wrap her head around why I spent all day stuck in bed dealing with morning sickness when she used to be out working the fields every single day and didn't vomit once 🙂 but my husband always shuts her down with a firm, "Well, my wife isn't you." 🙂

I think those older generations exaggerating about working in the fields every day is mostly whining. You always hear someone claiming their grandmother worked the farm right up until delivery. I suspect they have skewed memories of that era. Maybe she did go to the field, but probably worked at 30% capacity and rested way more than she actually labored, even if she remembers being there every day. And occasional nausea is nothing compared to being completely wiped out for an entire day.

I'm getting poked by condescending people too. They treat me like I’m some kind of invalid who can't even tie their own shoes. It's getting exhausting, though 😁.
On the flip side, you have the people with zero empathy who act like being pregnant isn't a medical condition. They expect everything to be business as usual. Like those people on the subway who won't even offer a seat.

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Jerry Bailey47 said:Oh, I eat them—I just stay away from leafy greens like lettuce or cabbage. Tomatoes and cucumbers are fine. But I’m talking about those days when I have to grab lunch on the go since I work until 5:00 PM—there’s nothing decent to pick up at a Corpus Christi grocery store besides pizza and pasta. Usually, I manage to find some healthy options at
one of those raw food spots, but I can't right now. That's my point.

I don't get why you won't eat salad even at home. Just wash it better than usual and move on.

Nothing is bothering me right now. I'm feeling pretty chill. 😎

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Right now, the thing that bugs me most is how my own inner circle keeps pushing sugary drinks and pastries on me, knowing full well my blood sugar is high. It honestly feels like they’re testing me, even though I know deep down they aren't doing it on purpose.

We went over to my in-laws' for lunch, and my mother-in-law immediately brings out the soda and offers it to us. Look, I get it—the whole family isn't going to stop drinking soda just because of me, but then don't act surprised when I pass. Then, as we're leaving, she shoves a box of cookies at us to have for Christmas. This was right after I told her I plan on making a few low-sugar batches so I can actually enjoy them. Now, while my husband finishes off the ones we already have, I'm stuck practicing pure willpower to stay away from them. And let's be real, these classic holiday cookies are loaded with sugar and are incredibly frustrating.

If anyone gives me a Hershey's bar for Christmas, I might just throw it back at them. 😠

What really gets under my skin right now is when people comment on my weight loss with that worried look on their faces. If someone actually asks if I’m skipping meals, I swear I might lose it. I get that they mean well, but it just makes me feel guilty, like I have to start defending myself or explaining that I'm fine.

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driftingcanyon16 said:I’ve started being pretty upfront about being pregnant. It’s not like I’m running around announcing it to everyone just for a laugh—it’s more that if the topic comes up or if it feels right, I just say it.🤣
And then you get those comments like, "Really? Because you don't look pregnant at all!!" Like... hello? Is there nothing between getting a positive test and actually giving birth? It’s a whole process, and honestly, for the first three or four months, you often don't even have a bump yet...

Yeah, it’s like your stomach just pops out of nowhere once you get pregnant. 🤣

It’s starting to get on my nerves. Every time I mention I'm pregnant, about a third of people immediately ask if we’re buying a house. Like, what? We live in a rental with a huge master bedroom and a spacious living room. I don't get why they care so much—is it because the baby won't have its own room? As if babies sleep in separate rooms anyway. Or is it just because we don't own the place? I honestly don't see what's missing here, and it leaves me feeling confused every single time someone asks. Buying a house specifically for a baby was never even on our radar.
My mother-in-law already made a comment about how it's good I'm home now so I can "peacefully" browse real estate listings. We're exhausted from constantly explaining that no, we aren't looking to take out a massive mortgage that lasts until retirement. We want to save up and buy something in a few years when the loan amount isn't so overwhelming. Now, I just tell her yeah, we're looking at everything online all the time. 😁

Ronald Lopez10 said:Well, I can see where those older women are coming from, I guess. Maybe acting this way serves as a sort of therapy for them.
However, I absolutely do not understand or condone it. I have no excuses or positive feelings toward older women who have NEVER even given birth but feel entitled to lecture others, nor do I have patience for the younger crowd who make comments like, "Oh, pregnancy was never that hard for me." That goes for anyone making inappropriate remarks about weight (regardless of whether they think it's too much or too little), belly size, childbirth horrors, or any other kind of verbal diarrhea.

Whether it's malice or just plain stupidity, when I tell you 😉 🤷

Yeah, I agree there. There's always a group of women trying to act superior, smarter, or tougher than everyone else. They put others down just to lift themselves up, acting like they're somehow the perfect pregnant women or mothers. Honestly, people like that are just impossible to deal with.

Ronald Lopez10 said:Talk about a total reality check! 🙏

I honestly don't know. I can't quite wrap my head around why people feel they have the right to say such nonsense to pregnant women, or even what could possibly motivate them to do it. 🤷
Is there truly someone out there so misguided that they believe they're actually helping with comments like that? Because if it isn't pure ignorance, I guess it might just be plain old malice.

I think part of the older generation of women is just jealous and bitter. When they were pregnant, nobody showed them any respect, and they probably couldn't even afford to take a break. They likely had mothers-in-law acting the exact same way, forcing them to work through a high-risk pregnancy. So they figure if they didn't have it easy, no one else should either. Like, "if I survived that, what right does she have to complain about how easy her life is now?"
I'm not making excuses for them. It's still pure spite. I'm just saying I get where they're coming from.

cosmicpanther71 said:I went in for blood work this morning, and a pregnant woman arrived to take her glucose test.
She walked up to the counter with this ice-cold attitude and just asked, "I'm pregnant, do I get priority?" The clerk froze, and the rest of the patients were just stunned.
I suppose I should give her credit, though—she’s certainly given me some inspiration for how to skip the line next time.😉

I grew up in Annapolis, so I still do everything there. All my doctors are based there. Even at the lab, they have a dedicated window specifically for pregnant women, people with disabilities, and small children. To me, that’s just how things should work. I honestly assumed it was the standard everywhere. It only makes sense to minimize the time a pregnant woman spends sitting near people who might be infectious.

Eric Morgan54 said:For 240 people, that’s $3.25 per head, which lands us at $133! Honestly, I could've pulled a move and ordered way less since the servers were slicing everything so thin..🙂

It’s always like that. Their standard slice is bigger than what the waiters actually serve (besides, everyone would probably cut smaller pieces anyway).

We aren't doing that. Instead of cake, we'll give out some small soaps and standard thank-you notes as a gesture. There's no need to provide cake for those two either.