Posts by Zachary Patel6

It honestly irritates me when people show up to venues with strict dress codes—places where you’ll get turned away just for wearing sneakers or flip-flops🙄—and then have the nerve to act like grabbing a drink in a public park is some immature thing reserved for thirteen-year-olds. 🙄People like that are just instantly off-putting to me...

Honestly—why suffering? That’s the question I ask myself daily while observing my own life and the people around me. Without a bit of struggle, nothing would have any substance; everything would just be incredibly dull. Why is some pain unbearable for some, while others seem to weather it more easily? Why does suffering exist at all? I don't have all the answers, but I can say this: I spend most of my life laughing and staying at peace—because if life were nothing but constant ease, it would be utterly tasteless and boring... AFTER THE RAIN COMES THE SUN🙂🙂

Alex Patel96 said:One summer, I spent my entire break studying French for seven hours a day while everyone else was out at the beach. I think I only stepped foot outside at night maybe five or six times that whole season. Can you even believe that?🙂

I spent the entire summer grinding through math for eight hours a day—didn't step foot outside once. Beat that. 😉

Jerry Martinez5 said:😂😂😂

I mean, I didn't even see your post and I thought of Tesla. And Picasso. Let's keep going: Kafka. Or what was that guy from the river who died young? Joyce was definitely unique—nobody can actually read Ulysses. Reagan was unique, too; I don't recall meeting anyone quite that polarizing. Marilyn Monroe was special for her beauty. And maybe some random pop star. Or an Olympic skier. Or a specific manager at a local FedEx hub.

Plus there's a million "Hannibal Lecters" currently sitting in state prisons or local jails back home.

I've been trying to explain to Zachary Patel6 that what's special to her isn't special to anyone else. If that guy she likes gets caught by a transit officer on the subway, he won't be special anymore; he'll just be another jerk without a ticket. But if you fall in love with a subway conductor, he’ll be the most special person in the world to you.🙂

Though, I guess that was already explained in The Little Prince. Please read it. 🤣

Why on earth would a transit officer bust "my type," and how does that even relate to anything? He's not some criminal; and even if he once rode the train without paying, does that somehow strip him of being special? Is riding without a ticket really such a mortal sin?

And honestly, is it really that hard for you to accept that someone might have a different perspective—specifically, that some people *are* more special than others? I don't see why everyone needs to share your exact worldview. 🤷

Besides, I wasn't in love with the person I'm talking about; he was a friend, now he's gone, and the story is over. And yes, I read the Little Prince back in middle school—don't worry about me, just mind your own business.

Jerry Martinez5 said:Listen. I don't consider any of my friends to be average. Every single one of them has a few traits that set them apart. For instance, one friend is unique because she's learning Japanese. Is that a "special" person to you?

And honestly, how many people in the world are actually learning Japanese?

Or take someone who's weird because they walk down the street talking to themselves. How is that even special? In any decent-sized US city, you'll find at least 50 people doing that.

When I'm in a crowd, say at a Metallica concert, an old lady wearing a fancy hat would seem pretty special to me. But if I'm at church at 8 AM, seeing some heavy metal fan in leather gear kneeling and praying might actually seem unique.

It’s really just about how, when people are growing up—let's say until they hit 25—they have this intense craving to feel special. It's part of building an identity, I guess. Nobody wants to look or act exactly like their parents, or their principal, or the guy working at the local grocery store. Everyone thinks they are special
.
In those years, wanting to be different is just natural. Whether it's through crazy hairstyles, clothes, reading books you think nobody else has discovered, or listening to music that isn't played by everyone at your high school...

Listen, 😍 I’m telling you right now—we clearly have different definitions of what makes someone "special." I don't think someone is unique just because they study a language or because they're into heavy metal 😁 If I used your logic, everyone would be special, and frankly, I don't think they are. I believe people who are truly exceptional are either born that way or evolve into it through life—it's certainly not about signing up for a Japanese class, lol. Or developing schizophrenia—like how Donna Wood52 mentioned Einstein. You might ask her what made him so special, but everyone has a "thing," right? Except, damn it, Einstein actually stood head and shoulders above the rest. I'll throw Einstein out there—even if I don't find him particularly noteworthy—but he was... relatively special 😁 And then there are those who are outliers in every single way (and I know someone like that). Maybe nobody is special to you, and like you said, you're the most unique one of all. But for me, some people really are in a league of their own 😍

brightwalker12 said:It isn't about being "hurt" by someone else's uniqueness—it's actually about something else entirely. It’s about how people deceive themselves and everyone else through this forced identity. For instance, when you see some punk walking down the street acting tough, spitting on the sidewalk, and hitting on every girl just to look cool, you immediately see through the act. Or when you see someone wearing a heavy coat in the middle of July, quoting bohemian poetry, carrying the latest New Age bestseller, and staring at the world with "sad eyes"... nobody—not even them—realizes they're just posing. But that's exactly what it is, just masked behind a more sophisticated veneer. I can't stand those types because they're so full of themselves, yet completely oblivious to their own performance. Then, the moment someone points out the truth, they immediately start screaming about being misunderstood or how intolerant society has become. That behavior is fine during puberty while you're still finding yourself, but later in life, you aren't "unique" or "special"... you're just an idiot. Just like a forty-year-old skinhead.

Look, you and I simply have different definitions of what makes someone "special." I'm not talking about the crowd who consciously joins a subculture just to feel different from the pack. I mean people who align with groups 😁 like punks or those bohemians you mentioned. To me, a special person is someone truly singular—someone who isn't trying to be anything other than themselves, whereas most people spend their whole lives trying to be something else. Special people are the ones who, if everyone else is doing something stupid, won't follow the herd just to fit in; they'll do the right thing because they actually have the guts to do so—they aren't afraid of judgment and they stay true to their principles. Those are the individuals I consider special.

But honestly, I was actually talking about someone who is fundamentally more unique than everyone else in every way—humor, kindness, intellect, looks, etc. I've encountered such a person in my life; perhaps some haven't, so they can't grasp it. Or maybe they just don't want to admit someone like that exists. Of course, this "special" person has flaws once you get to know them better, but the truth is they somehow "stand out" from the crowd even while remaining almost inconspicuous. It’s a strange thing to describe. Perhaps everything I’m writing is just the result of my fascination with one specific person. 😬

The absolute worst part of this whole situation? If I actually develop feelings for someone, I’ll never be the one to make a move—it's just beneath my dignity, 😁 I suppose. But since I exclusively gravitate toward people who share my exact temperament, it follows that I am destined to remain forever single and unattached to anyone I actually like. 😢

Honestly, I’ve always been this way—since I was a kid, everyone’s been teasing me and I just don't react. And if someone actually forgets to include me? Well, then I lose it. 😁 My friends haven't bailed on me because of it, though; I guess they’re just used to my temperament by now—that’s how it works. Credit to them, really, since they basically have to drag me along for the ride my entire life. But my absolute favorite people are my girlfriends who live out of state—they still call me every single year for my birthday and send gifts, even though I never think to reach out to them. They are absolute legends 😍

Jerry Martinez5 said:Look, I’m not trying to be harsh, I’m just asking: how old are you actually? It’s pretty standard stuff—when puberty hits, you suddenly feel like you're some kind of special snowflake in a world of billions. Like you're the only one suffering, or like you're uniquely different. I guess it's just one of those growing pains
.
Fast forward a few years, and honestly, I stay far away from people who think their independent thinking makes them superior. They're exhausting. They don't actually want company; they just want an audience to bow down and say, wow, you're so unique!

But it’s a two-way street: these types usually decide everyone else is boring or dim-witted... so they live in this bubble, clinging to the illusion that they're something extraordinary. Meanwhile, they're surrounded by dozens of others just like them—unhappy, lonely, and special
.

Oh, please, Jerry Martinez5—why does it bother you so much when someone actually *is* special? It just sounds like you're trying too hard to be the most unique person in the room. It's tough for some people to admit someone else might be different. Or maybe you just haven't met anyone truly extraordinary yet. 😉

In my view, the people who actually stand out aren't doing it on purpose—it's quite the opposite. They simply remain themselves while everyone else is busy desperately trying to be something they're not.

frozeneagle11 said:unknown

Yeah, that's the cold, hard truth right there. Most people get incredibly bothered when they run into someone who doesn't fit their specific mold. They act like it's some kind of personal insult directed straight at them.

Facts.👍

Jerry Martinez5 said:Zachary Patel6, you’ve basically just described a decent, kind person who happens to be struggling hard with themselves and their own life. I guess there are probably dozens of people like that on Psychology Today 😉

I feel for your friend 😢

Give me a break—if you think you actually know those few dozen people posting on Psychology Today, you are dead wrong. Or maybe you're right? Who knows. Maybe the whole site is just a magnet for those types of 🤣
anyway.
By the way, he didn't have "problems with himself"—on the contrary, he was an incredibly resilient, fighter type of person.

A dear friend of mine—someone I truly held in high regard—passed away at just 22. Honestly, he was simply too special for this world. And no, he didn't take his own life; he fought for every single second he had. It’s selfish not to admit it, but I truly believe extraordinary people exist. Not that they’re perfect—glorying them is foolish—but they serve as a light for "normal" folks like us. You can't even stay mad at them; you just can't find it in you to hold anything against them. They live to lift everyone else up while suffering terribly in silence, eventually leaving nothing but a void behind—which is exactly what my friend did. He was brilliantly smart, incredibly handsome, and yet... he never once had a girlfriend.😢

Usually, people like that either end up checking themselves into a monastery, joining the priesthood, or winding up in a psychiatric ward.😂

It’s all completely mystical to me ☕—people tell me I’m some kind of global legend, though I haven't quite reached legendary status just yet 😁

Donna Wood52 said:Have you ever actually crossed paths with someone who just... stands out from the crowd? I mean, sure, we’re all biologically cut from the same cloth—we’ve got limbs, heads, we walk upright, the usual anatomy—but I’m talking about the psychological core, that specific essence of a person's character.

For instance, most people are just... fine. They're decent enough. But then you run into someone whose kindness is almost overwhelming, or maybe they’re incredibly withdrawn—like, pathologically introverted—or perhaps they possess an exceptional beauty, a sharp intellect, or a sense of humor so distinct that everyone in the room is instantly drawn to them. You know exactly what I'm getting at. 🙂

I don't seem to run into people like that very often... 🤷

What’s your take on these types of individuals? Have you ever actually encountered someone like that in your own life?

I knew one such person once, but they've passed away now—rest in peace—and honestly, I think you only encounter someone like that once in a lifetime...

Casey Ramos78 said:So I was supposed to head downtown today to pick some stuff up—that was the plan, anyway—but then total panic set in. Just this overwhelming dread at the thought of walking through the city streets all by myself again. It drags all those old memories right back to the surface. Honestly, I’ve changed so much lately and I don't feel like that pathetic version of myself anymore, but heading out alone feels like admitting nothing has actually changed. I’m terrified of being alone. Is it just me haunted by the past, or does nobody actually enjoy their own company?

I’ve had these "identity crises"—which is really just code for those moments where it hits you like a freight train that you have absolutely nobody, zero real friends, and you just want to end it all because the loneliness is too much. It hurts. Loneliness is hands down the most painful thing in the world.

A quick thought on everyone else: Why are people so terrified of ending relationships that clearly don't work? They just can't face being alone. That’s my take, anyway. I honestly don't get how some people on this forum could look me in the eye a year ago and say, "Hey, why not just be single? It’s great! You can do this and that!" How can anyone find loneliness "good"? I seriously don't get it, because I can't stand it for another second.

Lately, I've been trying to convince myself that I'm not actually alone, so now I'm scared that if I go downtown solo, it'll prove that this whole past year was just a wash. The truth is, I still don't have anyone to go out with, which just confirms I'm still isolated despite all these imaginary friends I've managed to make.

p.s. When I say "downtown," I just mean hitting the mall—there's no other reason I'd be forced to wander around town.

Hmm. Why aren't you making an actual effort to meet new people? You need to put yourself in positions where meeting folks happens naturally—it can't be forced. I get it, though; after high school, my own circle pretty much evaporated. But I managed to find real friends in other cities. Of course, eventually, everyone gets busy, gets married, and moves on, leaving you solo again... that's just how the game is played.

Casey Ramos78 said:So I was supposed to head downtown today to pick some stuff up—that was the plan, anyway—but then total panic set in. Just this overwhelming dread at the thought of walking through the city streets all by myself again. It drags all those old memories right back to the surface. Honestly, I’ve changed so much lately and I don't feel like that pathetic version of myself anymore, but heading out alone feels like admitting nothing has actually changed. I’m terrified of being alone. Is it just me haunted by the past, or does nobody actually enjoy their own company?

I’ve had these "identity crises"—which is really just code for those moments where it hits you like a freight train that you have absolutely nobody, zero real friends, and you just want to end it all because the loneliness is too much. It hurts. Loneliness is hands down the most painful thing in the world.

A quick thought on everyone else: Why are people so terrified of ending relationships that clearly don't work? They just can't face being alone. That’s my take, anyway. I honestly don't get how some people on this forum could look me in the eye a year ago and say, "Hey, why not just be single? It’s great! You can do this and that!" How can anyone find loneliness "good"? I seriously don't get it, because I can't stand it for another second.

Lately, I've been trying to convince myself that I'm not actually alone, so now I'm scared that if I go downtown solo, it'll prove that this whole past year was just a wash. The truth is, I still don't have anyone to go out with, which just confirms I'm still isolated despite all these imaginary friends I've managed to make.

p.s. When I say "downtown," I just mean hitting the mall—there's no other reason I'd be forced to wander around town.

I hear you, but I honestly think everyone either goes through that feeling or will eventually move past it; you simply have to face the truth. That's how I see it. ☕

I’m not one for solitude. Thank God for my friends—basically my family—🙂

Why does he think I’d take my own life over him? First, I'm going to dismantle him—then, and only then, will I end things. And honestly, it isn't because he holds any weight in my life; it's just that life itself is a total wreck.
I really have no idea where my damn wits went.

For instance, I have someone who has been telling me for quite some time that I am worse than dead weight—constantly belittling me, undermining my worth, and trampling all over my dignity. Does this individual truly believe I won't retaliate? Well, I already have an excellent plan in motion. This piece of trash will suffer; I'm about to flip their entire world upside down.