Posts by Joseph Bailey41

bluemason3 said:You’re dreaming of a mountain getaway funded by some wealthy husband, but the guy has three other girlfriends and is just relieved to be hiding out in the middle of nowhere somewhere.

Exactly. And honestly, which naive soul are we even talking about here? 😁

Honestly, I’ve been thinking lately about how much a life in a monastery might actually suit me. But—and there’s a big "but"—I wouldn't want any of the Mass or constant prayers. Just a vow of silence. And I definitely wouldn't be doing any kitchen duty or scrubbing floors; that kind of manual labor just gets under my skin. Instead, I could spend my time tending a garden, managing a library, or maybe transcribing books... though not by hand, because that's just too much work. Maybe something like typing them up. I'd just want it all tucked away somewhere deep in nature, ideally near a lake. And a waterfall would be nice, too.

mistybison said:That is an incredibly difficult and harsh way to live, especially given the climate here in the States.

A reasonable option seems to be renting a lighthouse. Some of them are available just like vacation rentals—though the price tag is much steeper—so if you can afford it, you could stay for a few months and simply be alone with God, the ocean, and the sea life.

I believe the best approach is to connect with someone actually living that lifestyle to gather enough information before deciding if a person is truly ready for it.

Truth. So many people romanticize the great outdoors, only to end up miserable after forty-eight hours in a tent because of mosquitoes, hard ground, and all those other little headaches.

Amanda Ortiz45 said:Perhaps it would make sense to move this discussion to a different subforum, but as it stands, we are currently in the Spirituality section...

The true purpose of asceticism is to withdraw from the world so that one might develop their relationship with God—which, mind you, must also serve as a response to God's call. The desert is a spiritual battlefield. St. John of the Cross describes this struggle as a dark night, a path the soul must traverse to find and unite itself with eternal love, which is God.

Whatever we attempt on our own—whether it is trying to distance ourselves from the wounds of the past or attempting to transform ourselves into heroes who face the future without fear—we will ultimately fail by ourselves. We live through God; all strength, every single instance of healing, can only come from Him.

I highly recommend the book "Letter from the Desert" by Carl Carret... If anyone has other books to suggest, a link, or some kind of text on this topic, please, do share...

As for all those answers that lean toward mere provocation and senseless babbling about nothing—honestly, I just don't have the energy for it...

Spirituality is a much broader concept than just stories about God. To be fair, if we were over in the Religion section, your point would hold water, but here? Not really.

Paul Rogers94 said:Based on the archetypal childhood play pattern you just described, it’s glaringly obvious that "something is wrong"—it deviates from the norm. Your (the child's) statement about "giving birth to a different mother" isn't actually related to the psycho-engineering you're citing; rather, it's a very specific articulation of a specific lived reality... (otherwise, you'd frame the connection differently).

I’m not a fan of methods or technologies that rely on denial—that's never a recipe for success—especially when they encourage people to fantasize about an "ideal situation." In borderline cases, these kinds of methods almost certainly lead straight into psychosis. Even if you describe it as a sort of adapted CBT, the part where you inhabit the mother's role and then return to the child's role isn't necessarily bad, but there are some critical elements missing here...

...though there are certain psycho-technologies out there that can resolve lifelong traumas in just a few minutes.

Your intuition is spot on. This is a technique used in EMDR (which is reserved for specific cases) and it’s closely linked to CBT; in fact, they are often practiced under the same roof here in the States. I don't know if anyone specifically does Dyadic resourcing, though I do know someone who practices somatic psychotherapy, which is also appropriate for these situations. Beyond those role-playing exercises, there are other things done to create a sense of stability, relaxation, and grounding.

By tinkering with various techniques on my own, I’ve managed to resolve quite a lot. Only one thing remains—and it’s not even a trauma, but a specific parental prohibition (as defined in transactional analysis; it’s not something trivial like being forbidden from going out). I can't say for sure if it's fully resolved, because the effects aren't constant; they pop up occasionally as certain compulsions. About twice a year, they last for a week or two, and if the rest of my life is well-ordered, they pass on their own without me having to make any foolish mistakes.

I’m not sure if it’s wise to dwell on this on this subforum, as it seems like many people here successfully deal with things through "spiritual bypassing," and I really wouldn't want to cause any waves. If you want, let me know which techniques you mean, and I’ll look them up online... I might have already tried some of them.

Paul Rogers94 said:Kids usually focus on things that actually matter—it’s just not how their brains work to obsess over trivialities. I often ask them what they're doing when they're drawing or playing with action figures, and I haven't encountered a single instance where they aren't processing what's vital to them at that stage. It's all about the process: this is Mom, this is Dad, Mom is at the office now, or Dad lives in a different house (in cases of divorce). This little figure is Grandma Branka, and she died tomorrow (meaning they think the funeral is scheduled for tomorrow)... I've seen this pattern in so-called "indigo children," or even those highly reactive kids who push their parents to the limit from age one. Even while they are still navigating social dynamics, they often possess a much sharper understanding of relationships than their own confused parents. That’s why, quite frequently, they end up being perfectly valid witnesses in a criminal trial.

In a typical development scenario, that's how it goes... Grandma Branka or Aunt Lydia comes over for a visit, and so on. But occasionally, something goes sideways, and play takes on these mythological dimensions as a way to resolve an underlying conflict (most often involving a lack of acceptance from the mother) on an archetypal level. For instance, I remember a mother once asking me, "What would you do if I died?" (she wasn't sick or anything, maybe it was depression, but I didn't know how to recognize those things back then), and I instantly blurted out, "I'd just get a new mom."

Much later, I discovered that early traumas can be worked through using a technique called > resourcing. In this process, the client first vividly imagines a scene of an ideal parent with a child, then steps into the role of that imagined parent, and only after that can they truly "feel" what it is like to be the child. Through this process, the client essentially "gives birth to their own mother"—replacing the real one, who may never have been fully present or was perhaps abusive, with the parent they actually deserved to have.

Paul Rogers94 said:Anyone who’s ever had kids can tell you—one of the first things they do around age three or four is try to map out how the world works and figure out where they fit into the hierarchy. I’ve spent countless hours trying to decode what they’re actually getting at by watching them draw or arrange their little action figures and toys... it's all just an attempt to grasp the relationships in their environment—relationships that are often completely baffling even to us adults. Then, you get those clueless parents who act like they have zero intuition, expecting the kids to just intuitively master social rules and dynamics on their own—basically just surrendering themselves to the whims of a tiny, budding monster.

I remember myself being exactly like that during those years. For me, drawing, arranging things, and making up little songs wasn't so much about grasping my surroundings (in fact, I was usually trying to distance myself from them), but rather about establishing a universal order where good was rewarded and bad was punished. I had a couple of "troublemaker" toys—a rubber soccer player and a Barbie whose face I found particularly unsettling. Those two would constantly try to stir up chaos in the perfect little utopia of my cuddly stuffed animals, who lived in total harmony, almost like lions and sheep in a Jehovah's Witness brochure. Every now and then, one of them would snatch something or cause a scene, and then the other animals would work together to fix the injustice, usually by tossing the offender to the Grizzly (a stuffed bear that was actually bigger than I was). The Grizzly was incredibly sweet and I loved hugging him, but he usually kept his distance from the others... he’d watch everything unfold, but he rarely stepped in. 🤣

Betty Patel172 said:Is physical reality just a form of dreaming?
The simplest explanation I've encountered is that everything is God, and these thoughts are just 🙂
One could also argue that God is "above" (though you have to consider what that actually means) and we are "below"—not that those terms matter, since they are just empty words used to pass the time while we can. 🙂

People will say anything. It seems like folks love to ramble on about things they don't understand at all. Honestly, that kind of speculation doesn't interest me one bit—I prefer to write about what I know and ask questions about what I don't, just to hear different perspectives. As for God, I don't know anything about Him, nor do I really care, because I don't see how understanding His nature would change my life, the lives of those close to me, or the world at large. Or, to put it bluntly—I couldn't care less.

Paul Rogers94 said:An 11-year-old "Indigo child" belonging to an acquaintance of mine is so incredibly twisted that nobody wants anything to do with him—I actually witnessed his father (a prominent public figure who, ironically, works with gifted students) beating him right there on the street. When I asked him how the hell he could allow that, he just shrugged and said, "Screw it, I'm done." Kids feel secure when there’s a clear sense of order—when they know their place—rather than everyone just waiting for them to decide where they sit at the table or take charge because "parents don't understand them." They think the whole world should bend to their whims because they're so "special" and "misunderstood"... but without that structural safety net and clear boundaries, they act like lost souls just causing damage. So many kids and families have been wrecked by these twisted commercialized myths about Indigo children. What a joke—they aren't some mystical beings; they're just little bullies taking advantage of anyone willing to let them get away with it.

There’s truth to that. A lot of these kids have latched onto Peterson, who explains how structure and order can actually be a good thing—something a lot of them missed out on growing up. Even if you dig a little deeper and realize the guy has some pretty messy stuff going on in his own head, his core self-help message is actually decent. It serves as a necessary counterweight to all this nonsense about every child being a misunderstood artist. Little kids are basically just tiny little dudes; they need a pack leader.

Thomas Nelson25 said:Chess has rules about order, but this guy? He’s all about the chaos.
Anyway, that's a whole different conversation right there.

DIskutantica was probably thinking of a good person—someone who's just a total disaster when it comes to relationships.

Even chaos follows its own logic (just look up chaos theory).

Thomas Nelson25 said:Chess has rules about order, but this guy? He’s all about the chaos.
Anyway, that's a whole different conversation right there.

DIskutantica was probably thinking of a good person—someone who's just a total disaster when it comes to relationships.

Being a fool doesn't necessarily mean you're a "good person." It usually just means you're missing some key information—about how other people work, and how you work, too. Once you learn those lessons, you stop being a fool and start becoming a master. Though, even that is just a temporary stage.

Betty Patel172 said:What exactly did I see? 🙂 Even the idea that we are creating anything—these "matrices" of yours—is an illusion. If there hadn't been the Matrix Film, this whole conversation wouldn't even exist. Everyone, including me and you, is trapped in one massive illusion. We aren't "creating" anything, 🙂. The only thing we truly control is our own basic biology, like when nature forces you to find a restroom. But even that isn't a choice; you're just reacting to a reflex you didn't ask for. 🙂

Movies are really just recycled versions of older stories. Most films are, honestly—including the ones we play on loop inside our own heads. Sure, they’re all illusions, and deep down, we know they are. The only thing that’s actually real is physical reality, like this moment right here in the bathroom. Even though there are plenty of other rooms in this house, people seem to have a strange preference for the one you mentioned. 🤣

Betty Patel172 said:I don't know much about crystals or Indigo kids 🙂 , but sure, there's this whole virtual thing with phones and the internet... however, if you think back, reading books was "virtual" too. Up until twenty years ago, people built their perception of the world through books, newspapers, and comics. Some say that thousands of years ago, people had better memories and lived longer without needing to write anything down. Life was simple: you lived long, you remembered everything, and the soul remained crystal clear. 😁

You nailed it. 👍

There was a time when we only dealt with the physical world. Then, we added the world of myth and legend. Then came the world of a single book. Then more books. Comics. Movies. Now, the digital realm has basically swallowed everything mentioned above... everything except what you can actually touch, though even that can be simulated these days. Spiritualists love to obsess over whether we’re living in a matrix, but I don't think so... it's still being built. Once it's finished (if it ever is, since we're all helping build it)... the physical world as we know it will be over. It'll still exist, of course, but we won't really perceive it anymore. We'll just leave it to the lions, tigers, and bears.😁

mistybison said:That isn't spiritual! 😲

I believe the best approach is to first connect with a religious organization (like a church) that welcomes laypeople to stay for a while in exchange for help (working in the kitchen, the garden, etc.). Even living in a monastery, which requires communal life, isn't for everyone. It is better to start with the most low-pressure option. 🙂

I once read a blog by a woman who spent several years at ashrams in India. She mentioned there are ashrams that are free for anyone wishing to join (providing basic lodging and food) and are supported entirely by charity and donations. Participants spend most of their time focused on meditation and spirituality, while everyone helps out during their free time—some in the kitchen, others cleaning, and so on. Some of these ashrams even welcome foreigners. Anyone is free to come and go as they please. It isn't about joining a monastery or a cult. I read about her experiences with meditation sessions that lasted 20 hours straight! Truly incredible. 🙂 If I find the link, I will post it. 🙂

It's true, the option of monastic life exists for laypeople too. Elizabeth Gaskell (Eat, Pray, Love) used to scrub floors at an ashram frequented by travelers, and Leonard Cohen stayed at a Zen monastery until he had to head back because his accountant cleaned him out (or something along those lines, I don't recall the specifics), and he said it helped free him from depression. As far as Christians go, I know the Carmelites have their secular orders for both men and women, but I'm not sure if there's an option for short-term stays in a monastery.

But, the person who started this thread is interested in the desert hermit lifestyle, which is something else entirely. There are people living out in the woods, almost completely isolated from society, though usually not for religious reasons. The main issue is that in that situation, nobody is coming to feed you or check to see if you've been eaten by coyotes. You have to be totally self-sufficient, so you won't actually have much time left over for prayer and meditation. Even if some of those folks claim they hardly need food, I wouldn't count on that.

What seems like a reasonable middle ground to me would be lighthouses. Some of them are rented out much like apartments (though the price tag is definitely steeper), so if you can afford it, you could rent one for a few months and just be alone with God, the ocean, the fish, or whatever else is out there.

Betty Patel172 said:Hi 🙂 , I initially felt the same way, much like most of us who are slightly older. But honestly, people said the exact same things about our generation and the one before it. Once you reach a certain age, your perspective shifts—whether you want it to or not—and suddenly you're the one grumbling about the younger crowd, just as our elders grumbled about us. It’s just the natural progression of things. We like to think we've become wiser and more mature, but in reality, we might just be becoming more narrow-minded. You see what I mean? 🙂

I get it. Even the ancient Greeks used to talk trash about the arrogant youth, but there's a new variable in the mix now: the virtual world. Those of us who first stumbled onto the internet as kids are basically "digital immigrants." Meanwhile, the kids whose moms were already surfing the web while they were still in diapers are "digital natives." There’s a massive gap between those two groups—one group knows what reality feels like, while for the other, reality feels like some sort of intellectual abstraction.

The Indigo children (if we're talking generational archetypes rather than actual aura colors) are caught right in the middle of those two worlds, with one foot in each. That’s why they can seem so lost, like they haven't quite figured out where they stand. They haven't realized yet that they actually act as a bridge—a connection point. Their purpose isn't necessarily to radically overhaul a world that changes on its own, but to link two, or more, different worlds together.

As for crystals... well, silicon is a crystal too. 😉

Justin Baker6 said:You’re basically acting out some drama about someone making a conscious choice, trying to show how easy it is to get inside their head and pull their strings.
I can hand you a pattern so easily that you'll end up just passing that exact same pattern along to everyone else.

Alright, Mr. Philosopher, why don't you quit acting so high and mighty with all this "tolerance" talk and actually give us some practical advice or a real-world example. 🥱

Justin Baker6 said:Get over your phobias and maybe you'll stop badgering everyone else with your fears.

Learning to respect someone else's choices actually takes skill.

Yeah, well, being "skillful" doesn't mean much when you're stuck in a corner with no way out. 😁

Thomas Nelson25 said:Who are you really—yourself, or just what everyone else sees?

Yeah... fair enough. So be it.

Being crazy is fine—it’s just a role, or maybe some kind of archetypal trip.

It’s like being a pawn in a chess match. You just have to keep pushing until you reach the other side. 🥳

Amanda Ortiz45 said:That isn't quite what I had in mind... He’s becoming a priest here and entering an order that actually lives that way.

Hermit life—people often think of it as wandering into a literal desert, don't they? But it doesn't have to be that extreme. They sustain themselves—at least, that's how Edith used to explain it—through their own labor, whether that's tending a garden to sell produce or crafting items to sell... and things like that. They live quite simply; the whole point is to dedicate oneself to God in solitude, through prayer...

I mean, you could head out to the Sierra Nevada, find a cave to tuck yourself away in, and just pray that God provides some food. Some of those caves actually get visited by sheep, so theoretically, you might not even run into much trouble.

bluemason3 said:If I recall correctly, Catholic monasteries generally try to be financially self-sufficient. Who exactly do you think is paying the bills there?

Take the Franciscans, for instance. They run some nursing homes, which brings in a decent amount of revenue, and since they live so modestly, they can make quite a bit go a long way. 🕺

bluemason3 said:Spent half my youth doing absolutely nothing.

It was just a massive waste of time that left huge gaps in my resume—not exactly great for getting hired.
I could’ve been out fooling around in Thailand if I was going to be lazy anyway. Honestly, catching an STD feels more tangible than those hollow, self-serving "spiritual awakenings." And if I really wanted to opt out of society, there are better ways to go about it; at least working in a morgue pays the bills.

Did that third eye of yours finally sprout back then? 🤔

Personally, I think sheep farmers are pretty enlightened. And don't even get me started on lighthouse keepers...