Posts by Joseph Bailey41

Rachel Stewart36 said:Are you really trying to explain this to me? 😁

No need for the lecture. I've been digging into MBTI for nearly a decade now. For the record—I'm an INFJ according to their system. I know enough. 🥳

Back to topic.

Just give up now. I'm an INTP. 🙂

Rachel Stewart36 said:N and S are just data gathering functions, while F and T handle decision making functions.

P and J describe how you deal with the outside world—J being the structured type and P being the more chaotic one; P actually has nothing to do with perception.

Do your own homework. 😛

To be honest, I've always been a bit put off by the term "perceiving functions" because it's just so ambiguous. It feels much more practical to call them cognitive functions, just so we don't get them mixed up with this.

Besides, they aren't strictly limited to just collecting data; they involve processing that data and ultimately reaching conclusions. That’s why they’re properly referred to as Modes of processing information and making decisions based on Your Myers-Briggs Type, right? ☕

Rachel Stewart36 said:I was only talking about one—perceptual-intuitive—didn't even bring up the other perceptual side or decision making. 😉

You can try to dance around it all you want, but in the MBTI framework, N stands for intuitive and P stands for perceptive. Decision making is actually handled by the T/F dichotomy.

Whatever you say. ☕

Rachel Stewart36 said:That intuitive vibe you're describing? That's basically a perceptual psychological function. Just Google MBTI and take a test—might actually help you out.

Edit—I finally managed to organize those jumping, non-linear associations by leaning into systems theory. Everything around us (including ourselves) is just a series of systems, and theoretically, everything can be placed into an interactive relationship. My hand is a system, my laptop is a system, my apartment is a system... they all interact. Once you view things that way, you can navigate that web of connectivity and zoom-in or zoom-out on specific parts.

Actually, those are two distinct functions. At least within the system you're suggesting.

Nancy Lee84 said:That "need" you feel for anyone is just pure rationalization. It's an ego defense mechanism you're using to protect yourself.

You don't need to be Freud to see exactly what's going on here based on what you wrote. It's fear of rejection. The origin story might be obvious, but honestly, it doesn't even matter right now. The biggest and most vital step is just admitting it and facing the music, then actually dealing with yourself. And that's the hardest thing any human being can do.
Psychotherapy is really just a fancy word for that confrontation.

She can't face anything while there's still a beast looming over her shoulder. Like Mao said—sometimes a kick in the butt is the only way to move forward. ☕

Kenneth Barnes4 said:That’s basically what I’m talking about. Getting rewarded just for being a pain in the ass is actually a punishment. You use a system of rewards and consequences to guide a kid, right? But you can't do that unless you actually know where you're going. You shouldn't be sending a kid down a path that's just gonna screw them over. A kid needs to be able to trust their parents. They need to see real-world examples that prove what the parent is doing actually makes sense—that the parent can actually predict an outcome better than the kid can.

Look, I'm trying to make this clear, but I honestly don't get where he's getting it from. 🤷

Let's try this instead—did your cloning thing actually cause any trouble? And are you even aware that running two accounts on the same thread is against the rules?

Answer me that first, then we can move on. ☕

🤣 Who else do you think I am? Just curious. 🤣

Look, this thread isn't about aggressive parents losing their cool and beating their kids. Those people beat adults too, which is a completely different beast, right? Unless they’re only targeting the sick. Which is even worse. But that's not what I'm talking about here.

I'm talking about using punishment to guide a kid. If you're the parent, what's your move? Capable. Deciding what's actually best for your kid. Harder than it looks, right?

The truth is, most people just stay quiet because they can't actually raise a kid properly to begin with. You're all out here giving me examples like, "Oh, these parents were beating their kids." Please. Most folks don't even have the basics down. 😕 So, let's talk about aggressive people. Nowadays, everyone's obsessed with this "no aggression" mantra. You've got these parents who swear by every parenting book on the shelf, trying to raise kids perfectly by the manual. It’s all very polite, right? But honestly, I want to hear from the realists. Does anyone actually have an example of parents who were decent people but still used physical discipline? Is that even allowed to be said anymore?

So I have this friend, right? Total powerhouse. Smart, responsible, killing it in her career. She told me that back when she was fourteen, she ran away from home with some guy and left a note for her parents. When they finally tracked her down, they absolutely laid into her with a belt. She told me—and I’m quoting here—“I never once thought about doing something like that again.” She didn't end up with any long-term trauma or anything; she’s fine. And now that she has her own kid, the idea of messing around with her child like that never even crosses her mind. Why is that?

He’s way too close to his parents. He respects his old man too much. Seeing him react like that? It honestly just shamed her. How much did she have to hurt or scare him to trigger a reaction like that? She's never doing it again. That wasn't the goal.

Honestly, it feels like most of you aren't even listening to what I'm saying. You just don't get it. Look, I’m speaking theoretically here. I'm talking about guiding a kid this way, assuming the parent actually has their life together enough to handle everything else. You gotta nail the basics first—emotional stability. The kid needs to feel safe, protected, and actually led in the right direction. That's the priority. What’s the number one thing when it comes to raising kids? Honestly, what even matters most?

The examples you guys are throwing out about aggressive psychos are total nonsense. They have zero to do with what we're actually talking about. 🤔 Look, I’m not talking about child abuse here, and I’m definitely not even hinting at it. 🤣

Exactly. It all comes down to the "why." If a kid breaks a glass and gets physically lashed out at for it? That’s straight-up twisted. People like that shouldn't even be allowed near kids. Punishment should only ever be about what's actually good for the child. Period.

I don't think so. I know better. And what you're doing isn't right—it really isn't.

Harold Anderson3 said:That first thing I mentioned actually happened to me right at the height of a psychotic episode. I had this overwhelming sensation that everything was being recorded, almost like I was living inside some massive version of Big Brother 😲

I've made my peace with death, and while it's unlikely to happen soon, I know I could die tomorrow. I've actually come pretty close to dying about ten different times in my life. But I'm still here, and I view every day since then as a gift. We all face mortality eventually, one way or another, it's just part of the deal.

I think we misunderstood each other; those are two different things. What I was talking about wasn't about the actual experience while it's happening (like when you felt like you were being recorded).

I’ve never experienced anything quite like that, except for when a memory from, say, five years old pops up. It doesn't feel like I'm reliving it or seeing through my own eyes. Instead, it’s like watching a finished movie from a third-person perspective, looking down from above... as if I stepped a few feet out of my own body back then to film what was happening, and now I'm just watching the footage.

To put it in gaming terms, regular memories feel like playing 'Doom,' whereas these dissociative ones feel more like 'Tomb Raider' (I don't mean the story itself, just the camera angle—first-person versus third-person).

Harold Anderson3 said:It's honestly terrifying 😢 reading about how children manage to survive those kinds of situations in a book I once came across.
It mentioned things like dissociating from your own body or making peace with death—I don't remember every detail, but that was the gist. Some people grow up to become sociopaths, while most deal with various psychological struggles.
I vividly remember my younger half-brother, who's three years my junior, getting beaten because he struggled with math. My stepmother used to hit him so hard he'd lose track of which hand was his left and which was his right. I'm not exaggerating. It’s actually quite surprising how normally he seems to have turned out, but he still struggles with sudden, impulsive reactions and can never seem to just sit still; he always has to be doing something.
I don't want to pry into his personal business, especially since I carry my own baggage from everything I went through, too. But genetics plays such a massive role here; someone who has endured all that chaos might still end up a healthy person, provided they have the right genetic foundation.

That sense of detachment is actually called dissociation. It’s when you try to recall certain moments later and either find huge gaps in your memory, or you see those scenes playing back like a movie filmed from a few feet above your head. You might even experience this during an everyday situation where parts of the "film" just go missing, even if you haven't touched any alcohol or drugs. For instance, you might drive to work, park in the lot, and realize you have absolutely no memory of the drive itself. Logically, you know you took the usual route and didn't get into any accidents, but the memory just isn't there. Or, someone could be talking to you and it’s like they aren't making a sound, even though your hearing is perfectly fine. You realize you've missed the last fifteen minutes of their story because you simply checked out (which can often be a lingering effect of emotional trauma experienced during childhood).

As for making peace with death... honestly, if someone told me I was going to pass away tomorrow, I don't think I'd have much of an emotional meltdown. I’d probably just focus on getting my affairs in order—finishing up work tasks, drafting a will, cleaning out my computer, and organizing my paperwork. There's a certain practical advantage to that mindset, too. ☕

Kenneth Barnes4 said:Like I’ve said a million times already, kids need to be treated right before you even think about physical punishment. You can't just have some maid swatting you around the house because you got a C on a test.

Quentin:

If it’s irrelevant and has nothing to do with the topic, why bring it up at all? I can't tell where the breakdown is happening—is it in your head or just in how you type? Hard to say what you need to work on to fix this issue. You think you'd think clearer and write better if someone gave you a slap on the ass once in a while?☕

Explaining things in detail is pointless. People who get it, get it. People who don't, won't. Clearly you don't. I've been saying the same thing from the start. It's about understanding consequences, teaching kids to make their own choices, weighing the good against the bad, etc. You can't connect any of that into a coherent thought, so instead, you ask me—and look, let me quote you again:

Quentin:

If it’s irrelevant and has nothing to do with the topic, why bring it up at all?

I said it was irrelevant because my previous post went into way too much detail, so I just tossed out a "whatever" phrase.

If you're going to make a point, it's on you to tie it all together logically rather than expecting me to play mind reader to figure out what you meant. You can't teach children (or adults, for that matter) how to make independent decisions through physical punishment.

But let's try this instead—did your little "cloning" experiment have any actual negative consequences? And were you even aware of the rule against using two different accounts in the same thread?

Give me an answer to that, and then we can move forward. ☕

Roger Kern16 said:Does anyone else feel like their brain just operates on a completely different frequency than the rest of the population? It’s not like my thought process is a straight line... it’s more like a massive web of associations. I’m constantly spotting patterns and making connections that seem totally nonsensical to everyone else, using this alternative logic that only makes sense in my own head. Plus, I'm a super visual thinker—just constant imagery flashing around in my mind—though I guess maybe that isn't that weird.
And yeah, I often find myself hyper-analyzing the deep, complex layers of a situation while somehow completely missing the obvious, glaringly simple point right in front of me. 😬 My thoughts are incredibly fragmented and abstract... they’re hard to pin down, let alone control.

Does it make sense to link all this to something like bipolar disorder or ADHD, or is it something else entirely?

If your brain works that way, you can basically connect it to anything. Not just ADHD, but you could probably link it to the evolution of lungfish if you tried hard enough and didn't have anything better to do.

I remember being so fascinated when I first learned "conspiracy theorist" was an actual job. I used to try and come up with at least three every day just for practice. Of course, I missed the obvious part: it's incredibly hard to monetize that kind of thing (at least back in the dark ages of dial-up internet).😬

I'm not much of a visual person myself; I actually struggle quite a bit when I need to visualize things, especially when I'm trying to draw a straight line. That said, my brain works on both channels—I can think both linearly and associatively. I usually just keep the associative stuff to myself (unless the circumstances allow me to pretend I'm drunk or high). That associative thinking actually led me to write some decent poetry and some... let's call them "questionable" short stories. So, it’s entirely possible that this way of thinking is the bedrock of creativity and that whole "thinking outside the box" concept. In daily life, I mostly just try to have a "normal" answer ready for when people ask, "What are you thinking about?" because giving a real answer would just drag me into some pointless debate and mess up my flow.😵

I've looked into this quite a bit and found a pretty good explanation in the Myers-Briggs typology. Linear thinking would be the "T" component, whereas associative thinking fits "N." If we look at it through a linguistic lens, it’s almost like a metaphor versus a metonymy.

Stress is a big issue for me because my sensory component (S) is pretty weak, and my emotional side (F) is even weaker. This means I'll feel terrible and start searching for deep, complex reasons why, while completely overlooking the obvious culprits—like the fact that I haven't eaten in six hours or that a pig just insulted me.🤦

Kenneth Barnes4 said:Yeah, because it's a totally normal reaction for a kid to bolt to a corner and scream his head off after getting a spanking.

👍

I really don't have the energy for that... 🤣

So look, I think learning how to make decisions and understanding that your actions have consequences is a vital part of life. I was saying that physical punishment teaches kids that what they do matters. Google "decision making" and try to wrap your head around it 🙂 but whatever, it doesn't matter. I'm just putting my thoughts into words whenever I have some downtime.😬

How can you even tell if it was too much or too little? Either way, it was enough to trigger an "abnormal" response. And Unit One is still getting hit.

Kenneth Barnes4 said:Yeah, because it's a totally normal reaction for a kid to bolt to a corner and scream his head off after getting a spanking.

👍

I really don't have the energy for that... 🤣

So look, I think learning how to make decisions and understanding that your actions have consequences is a vital part of life. I was saying that physical punishment teaches kids that what they do matters. Google "decision making" and try to wrap your head around it 🙂 but whatever, it doesn't matter. I'm just putting my thoughts into words whenever I have some downtime.😬

If it isn't important and has nothing to do with the topic, why bring it up in the discussion at all?

I’m having a hard time figuring out where the disconnect is—whether it’s in the thought process itself or just in the way you’re putting those thoughts into words—so it's tough for me to suggest how you might fix the issue. Do you honestly think you'd be able to think more clearly or write any better if someone gave you a spanking every now and then?
☕

Sometimes, walking away from a toxic relationship is actually harder than staying in a good one. Between the trauma bonding and those repetitive patterns, it gets complicated. But honestly, leaving is the only way out. It’s really the first real step toward healing. From there, it’s all about going no-contact and getting some solid help from a therapist to work through it.

Alexander Adams94 said:I can't stand those hyper-masculine "edgelords" who think being crude is a substitute for having a personality. And don't even get me started on that brand of modern art where some guy spends half an hour cracking the same tired jokes about anatomy... Ha ha ha, look how edgy you are, mocking the Church with the same old tropes and dropping profanity every thirty seconds. So clever. Truly creative. But tell me, what’s your actual solution for making life better? Oh right, just more profanity.

I'm a serious person with a sense of humor. I'm not some clown who needs to rely on vulgarity just to prove how "open-minded" or sophisticated I am.

You're breaking my heart here. ☕

Kenneth Barnes4 said:Alright, moving on... let me write a bit about why it’s vital for a kid to understand that their actions have consequences.

When parents overprotect a kid from everything—especially negative outcomes (like if the kid messes up and the parent rushes in to fix it)—that kid never learns that actions have CONSEQUENCES. When we teach kids that what they do matters, we're actually teaching them how to make their own choices and how to avoid bad outcomes (I’m talking a smack on the butt here, not, you know, assault or something.

In cases where kids are shielded from seeing the fallout of their behavior, they grow up unable to correctly link results to their own actions. Decision-making in adulthood isn't just the simple stuff: like having three candy bars to choose from, where it's easy to pick one (or you're too indecisive to pick any at all).

It goes deeper than that. It's a process where a person realizes that if they combine A and B, they get result C. If a kid never sees the consequences, they'll head from A to B without ever considering the end result. Basically, a person enjoys the process for whatever subjective reasons, but they either don't want the final outcome or can't predict it.

Okay, I'm overcomplicating this... fine, here's a totally unrealistic, hypothetical example.
Someone is hiking through the woods toward a bungee jumping site. They're stoked, singing: "YAY BUNGEE IS COOL, LALALA bungee mungee lala lungee." 🤣🤣 Then an indecisive person comes along, hears them singing, and joins in. Since singing "bungee mungee lala" is fun, they walk through the woods together, having a blast. But then they reach the actual bungee jumping spot—the goal. Person A, who was singing about it, is thrilled because the whole trip was leading to this. Person B (the indecisive one) finally sees what's actually happening—they're expected to jump—and they aren't interested. So they just turn around and leave. Because Person B enjoyed the walk and the singing, but didn't account for the destination, once they hit the goal, they're out. Get what I'm saying?

Or take a guy hitting on a woman with sexual undertones. She plays along because she thinks it's fun, like a game or something. Then the guy expects sex, but the woman doesn't realize that's where this is heading and just wanders off to do something else she finds fun. The guy feels provoked or like there was some ulterior motive, when really, there wasn't.

It's the same thing with reading between the lines. You say something to someone to imply a point, but they don't grasp your direction or your target; they only hear the literal words. It's the same A+B=C formula for everything.

People like that cause total chaos in life. Why? Because the other person—who usually has a clear goal in mind (which is most people, let's be real)—assumes they're on the same page because they're acting like it. Then suddenly, they pivot, and you realize they weren't. It's similar to the chaos caused by people who struggle with emotional attachment but then suddenly want something intensely. They push hard to get something, the other side builds an emotional connection, and then these people just vanish because they don't build those connections. So, who's to blame? We could throw ASPD or BPD diagnoses at everyone at this point 😬

Look, I get that most people won't see how this all connects, but it does. This is how I reached the conclusion that physical discipline should be used as a consequence for bad behavior. Kids won't always understand exactly where they're headed in the moment. But if a parent gives you *that* look—you know what that means, you're screwed—you move. Simple.

I have to admit, I'm one of those people who finds your thought process completely baffling, and honestly, a little unsettling. Would you mind trying to explain it from the beginning?

My bad. 🙂

All jokes aside, though, there’s this growing sentiment in certain circles today that spanking kids should be classified as child sexual abuse. The logic follows a specific line—that "spanking" is much more frequently associated with adult sexual gratification than actual physical discipline. It's also probably a good reason to avoid Googling that term while you're on the clock at work. 😬 )

What kind of slap in the face are we talking about now? Don't tell me you still haven't figured out where you stand. 🤣

Yep. Exactly twice. 😬

At least can you say you managed to whip something up with a spoon? 🤣

George Davis6 said:Through the woods and down the road 😁😁

Something small is definitely off here—I'm certain of it. Don't you think?

Physical punishment leaves lasting scars. ALWAYS. And look, this isn't me trying to "spin" the argument or whatever you claim I'm doing—these are just straight-up facts. I even included a link to a study covering over 160,000 kids, though I'm guessing you didn't even bother to click it.

What does a study of 160,000 kids matter when you're basing everything on three friends and some random video? You're spinning your wheels here. ☕

Those old-school, "biblical" parenting methods nearly pushed me toward developing a dissociative disorder. On the outside, though, I looked like a perfectly fine kid.

And honestly, it bugs me when people act like emotional manipulation, abuse, and neglect are somehow worse than physical discipline. Sure, they are, but there's no rule saying parents who hit their kids aren't also prone to those things. If anything, I’d argue they're even more likely to do it because they don't see children as actual human beings—just little creatures that need to be broken in and trained like circus animals.

Carl Rivera43 said:Yeah, I totally see where you're coming from. Once you get into the groove with the small stuff, those bigger tasks start feeling way more manageable. It’s funny how that works, right? Even a massive pile of tiny little hiccups can eventually snowball into one giant headache if you aren't careful.

I guess, if I'm being really honest with myself, a lot of my own struggles come from those old wounds I just never sat down to process. I didn't really take the time to have those tough conversations with myself, you know? And because of that, the past just keeps showing up in ways I wasn't ready to deal with.

That makes total sense. For instance, if you’re convinced that achieving a certain goal—like being fully independent—will somehow trigger a disaster, you'll subconsciously find any excuse to avoid that goal at all costs. 😬

It doesn't even matter if that "disaster" already happened years ago. Our brains aren't great at distinguishing between what's actually happening now, what happened in the past, and what we're just imagining might happen in the future. The same emotional alarms go off regardless.

Kenneth Barnes4 said:Just watch the video. Parents act like they’re 100% sure their kids actually listened to them. They gave warnings about not talking to strangers. But you see it clearly in the clip—as soon as a stranger approaches with something they want (in this case, a cute dog), they don't even hesitate. They just see a dog, they want it, and they go for it without a second thought.

Parents are left totally stunned because they think they're raising perfect kids who would never do something like that. Here's the reality: if you raise a kid on empty promises and hollow lectures, they’re going to act exactly like this. It means a kid's safety depends entirely on whether the person approaching them happens to have bad intentions or not.

I remember watching another video involving a 13-year-old boy. His mom told him, "Watch out for that blue car that kidnaps kids, stay away from it." It was basically an experiment. He met some woman online and was planning to meet up with her (turns out she was an adult running the test). This person shows up to pick him up in the exact same blue car his mother described. The guy gives some stupid excuse for why he's picking him up. As soon as the adult says, "It's fine, I'm just here to pick you up for [reason]," the kid hops right in. Even though he'd been warned, and even though this was someone from the internet he barely knew. Why does that happen to an older kid?

a) Because in his head, he's thinking: "This girl from the internet is awesome, I'm stoked to finally meet her."
b) An adult tells him it's okay. That person takes control and assumes responsibility for the situation, not him.

We're talking about an older kid here, not some five-year-old.

Later in the video, you see the mom absolutely losing it on him, screaming, "I TOLD YOU NOT TO GET IN A CAR LIKE THAT! WHY DID YOU GO?" The kid just stays quiet. He's got nothing to say because, well, his mom is pissed and he knows he's screwed. Not because HE messed up, but because he didn't even realize he had.

I can't remember the exact video—it was a few years back. I might try to find it, but I gotta run so I don't have much time right now.

You guys are too focused on the "violence" aspect instead of what I'm actually saying. It's like you think my goal is to advocate for child abuse or whatever. It isn't.

Hmm... I guess the most effective way to teach kids not to trust strangers would be to pay a stranger to beat them up. If you're the one doing the hitting, they'll just end up being afraid of you instead of those random women on the internet.😁