Posts by driftingbear20

Please don't take this the wrong way, but I honestly hate being in this thread.
To be perfectly honest, I hate that any of us ever have to be here at all, and I truly wish we could just exist without needing this space... but when things get tough, you all provide such incredible support and comfort.

About two months ago, my mother-in-law had surgery to remove a massive 10kg tumor from her abdomen.
They ended up removing her uterus, her ovaries, and most significantly, her right kidney.

From what we understand, everything seems to have started with that kidney.

The oncologist hasn't prescribed anything yet, and that’s where my doubts really start creeping in... I mean, how can someone have a tumor that large removed without being put on some kind of follow-up therapy, especially with how advanced drugs like Sutent have become these days?

If anyone happens to know more about how Sutent works or the process for getting it, please let me know, because it feels so strange to me that she wasn't offered it. From what I've been reading, if there are any lingering metastases, this drug is designed to wipe them out without harming the healthy cells.

After dealing with a tumor of that magnitude, I find myself wondering which oncologist would actually dare to say there aren't any remaining metastases left behind?

Are there certain situations where a patient simply can't be prescribed Sutent? I'm just not sure...

I'm sending so much strength to everyone here, and I truly hope that as many stories as possible end on a high note.

Oh, man... they moved this whole thread over to the Fitness section right after I mentioned that working out is basically my least favorite thing in the world. Just my luck!
I can already see my growing popularity on this subforum.

Just to be clear, I'm not trying to stir the pot, at least not on purpose. I actually wrote that first post while this topic was still over in the Women's Corner. Bokić 😍

And what about the title... 🤣

Look at that—even saggy breasts are jumping in to help out Kate Young70! 😍
Plus, here comes the owner, all buttoned up and ready to go.
So, here’s my little list of suggestions:
1. Get back on those pills.
2. Go grab a really well-structured swimsuit.
3. Hit the gym. Honestly, how? I have absolutely no clue. That third one is definitely my least favorite option of the bunch. 😁

rustynomad12 said:So, I’ve been having a bit of a struggle with turning on editing mode and tweaking my posts here... My very first entry wasn't exactly my finest hour, so I wanted to go back, soften the tone, and just write a whole new version instead.🙂))... Honestly, don't worry about the teasing! I'm taking it all in stride—I totally get that I can be a little ridiculous sometimes, haha. 5. I guess I just have this habit of jumping back in to explain my side of things once someone makes a snap judgment on a thread. That’s just who I am now... thanks for being so sweet and keeping an eye out for my messy typing.

By the way, let's get one thing straight: chronic pain, physical discomfort, hormonal rollercoasters, serious health scares, a sick kid, medical emergencies, depression, anxiety—all those biological struggles? That isn't "whining." It’s just people who are clueless and judgmental calling real suffering "stupid" or acting like it’s "no big deal."

Eh, well, if you get it, you get it.😁

Oh, don't even mention it! That’s just how we US moms 😍 are... we look out for our own.

And honestly, you really don't need to worry about getting assimilated by the Borg just because you're admitting to some totally normal pregnancy brain moments.

I should also mention—even though I can be a bit opinionated sometimes—that the friendships I made with other moms while I was pregnant actually ended up being total lifesavers for me.
It wasn't just about having someone to vent to or get advice from, but they were also the best people to grab dinner with once things settled down later on.
Believe it or not, you really do feel like yourself again after a little while passes.

rustynomad12 said:Hmm... I don't see where I called anyone a "brainless idiot," and honestly, I have no idea what's so "high-and-mighty" about me just refusing to be your stereotypical pregnant woman—you know, the one who acts like a total pushover for everyone and everything. That’s just never been my vibe, in any version of reality! And hey, I definitely know what osmosis is... thanks for the heads-up, rustynomad12!🙂)))
And heaven forbid I turn into the Terminator or something! Lol. I just refuse to play the victim like most people do. Whatever happens, happens—I can handle it. I’m definitely not talking about ALL pregnant women, just, you know, most of them. Yeah, okay, some are crybabies, totally wiped out by hormones, or just super insecure and anxious (just like me!). But look, being a little older means I get certain things a bit better than someone younger might, who's still struggling with the basics that are actually within their control. Hormones and fears aren't a free pass for every single thing a pregnant woman does... truthfully, most pregnant ladies I run into are just exhausting and a bit much for me. But those two? They are absolutely perfect—totally chill and normal. So, give me one good reason why I wouldn't end up being part of that group!
Good luck to you guys too!🙂)

🤣

Hang on, rustynomad12, wasn't that supposed to be your one and only post here? 😛

Wow, you sure are consistent, though I suppose that's just part of your charming personality, isn't it? 😁

Man, I can't help myself when it comes to a little bit of drama... I guess it's just in my blood.

ps. dad😁

silentbison17 said:Great, you wrote this whole thing with such an air of superiority, as if we’re all just mindless idiots obsessed with nothing but pregnancy.

Good luck to you, but I’ll give you one warning: don't even think about cleaning cat litter. You can pick up toxoplasmosis from it. And that isn't some old wives' tale... it's a scientific fact.

Oh come on, let’s try to be a little kinder to her... this is likely her first pregnancy, and that whole "I know everything and I can handle anything" phase is actually pretty standard.
She'll grow out of it 😍

To be honest, I went through a total "Terminator Mom" phase during my first pregnancy too.
I honestly thought most women were just dramatic, overreacting to everything and making things way more complicated than they needed to be, and I truly believed I was going to be this incredibly chill, capable, superwoman type of mom who had everything under control...
Long story short:
Looking back, I don't think there's any life event that catches you off guard quite as much as having a baby does; it really changes how you see yourself.

Back to the topic at hand: what's really throwing me off this time is how gossipy and hyper-sensitive I've become—it's like I just can't help myself.
But I have to admit, I've been getting some really lovely surprises from people lately.
Everyone has been so thoughtful, letting me cut in line and being generally supportive... honestly, I've only dealt with positive vibes from everyone around me.
I guess people can just sense how high-strung I am, so nobody wants to take the risk of saying the wrong thing! 🤣

Nicholas King said:If you look at the bottom left corner of the post frame, you'll see a little red triangle—just click on that to open the report dialog box. You can type in your explanation there, and that’s pretty much it!

Thanks so much for letting me know how that works.
I also wanted to take a quick second to say hi, since it feels like it's been forever since we last caught up online.
Not that we're sitting around moping about it or anything, right? 😍
Best,

Sorry if I'm being a bit awkward here, but I wasn't quite sure if this is where you report harassment or offensive comments.
If it isn't, does anyone know where I should go?

I've honestly never had to report anyone before, so I'm still figuring out how everything works on this site.

Women's corner subforum, thread: I don't want to have kids

Neocortex said:Just like I'm allowed to view someone like you as nothing more than a backwards hillbilly.🤷

Ronald Rogers27 said:I didn't quite catch what driftingbear20 was getting at... Are you saying you want to go help those kids? That you want to dedicate your life to this? 👍

Then why are you just sitting there in your apartment (which I'm guessing you didn't pay for all by yourself), dragging yourself to a job you landed through a connection, and living a social life that totally disconnects you from your "inner scream," while preaching to people online? Instead, you should:

- Hand the keys back to whoever owns your place (whether it’s your parents or the government)...
- Thank your employers and quit on the spot, since you're clearly heading off to do charity work...
- Say your goodbyes to your parents, siblings, relatives, childhood friends, your boyfriend, and even all those exes you're actually on good terms with...
- Take whatever cash you were planning to blow on some grass shoes or other mindless luxuries, sell your car, and instead of showing up at the UNHCR to volunteer, just donate the whole pile of money to charity.

Enough with the endless chatter and the fake, pathetic drama... It's just noise. 👎

Ronald Rogers27

Yeah, it looks like you missed the point entirely. 😍

ironmarlin1 said:What I’m laying out here isn't some abstract theory; it’s the stuff of everyday, practical decision-making. 🤷

Well, that is a remarkably weak argument. 🙄
You seem to be operating under the assumption that returning that money is inherently "fair," and from there, you jump to the conclusion that the right thing to do is simply pay it back, rather than perhaps redirecting those funds to someone who actually needs them for something fundamental, like school supplies.

I don't know, I really can't buy into that logic. After all, if a person truly knows when they are committing an evil act, then they would also realize that intentionally deafening oneself to the resulting guilt is, in itself, an evil act. Therefore, they are making a conscious decision to be wicked.

I honestly believe they don't care. Besides, try telling someone that. They’ll just respond like Ronald Rogers27 on a message board, telling you it isn't their problem or that you're being overly dramatic about things that don't matter. He feels nothing, and there is nothing left to awaken in people like that.

I actually think you might be wrong on this one. 🙂

I didn't just land on this idea—that people aren't inherently bad, just unaware—all by myself.
Real suffering is often a bit too far away from us.
So, we get this sudden burst of motivation to help out, but then reality sets in; by the time we drive to the bank, figure out who to send the money to, or try to find someone nearby who actually needs a hand... we've totally lost that initial spark to do something.

If most people were truly selfish deep down, those door-to-door charity drives and the "text this number to donate" campaigns wouldn't work nearly as well as they do.
People will step up if it's convenient.

It's true that very few of us are willing to drop everything and fly off to Africa—though, when I actually stop to think about it, if I were to pack my bags and head to Africa, considering I'm only about a hundred pounds, I probably wouldn't be much of a help.
I'm not sure how I'd even contribute in that situation.
There's a pretty high chance the whole thing would end with the poor Africans having to feed me instead! 🤣 ))

So, yeah, very few people are going to head to Africa.
But does that make everyone who stays behind a bad person?
My bar for what counts as "goodness" is a little lower than that.

Off-topic: My dad has a 27-year-old daughter😍
The other day he told me, "I raised you guys to be decent people. Maybe I messed up..."
I had a good laugh; I almost asked him if he happened to be lurking on this forum right now! 😍
But seriously, I don't think it was bad parenting.
I actually think I'm better off this way.
Because from what I see around me, society still mostly promotes good values, and being a jerk usually gets you called out.

For instance, my two-year-old just started preschool.
Since she’s such a sweet, shy little thing, I was honestly terrified about how it would go—worrying if someone would push her around (since she won't cry if someone hits or shoves her 🤷), or if kids would constantly snatch her toys...
Then my brother, who has two sons who have already been through preschool, told me that things aren't nearly as scary as I'm making them out to be.
If the teachers at the preschool are doing their jobs right, they aren't "punishing" the sweet, well-behaved kids; instead, they’re stepping in to guide and correct the little ones who are acting out or grabbing toys from everyone else.
It just goes to show me once again that being an honest, hard-working person actually makes life much smoother and more rewarding when you're out there in society.

ironmarlin1 said:Look, it's pretty simple: people can donate to the Red Cross or volunteer at a local food bank every single day, yet that doesn't stop them from dropping a fortune on a massive OLED TV, splurging on designer labels, or buying a third car they absolutely don't need. I just don't see this "internal outcry" you're talking about. Honestly, where you're spotting it is a complete mystery to me.

I’ll be the first to admit I’m an incurable optimist and a bit of an idealist.
Call me naive if you want, but I don't think people are inherently evil; I think they're just incredibly oblivious.
We all just lack a certain level of awareness regarding what's actually happening in the world.

Back in 1994, Kevin Carter won a Pulitzer for a photo he took in the desert. It shows a vulture watching a starving child crawling toward a UN food camp—it was a real, raw moment, not staged at all—and it left the entire world absolutely shattered.
It was as if people had no clue what was going on over there.🤷

Most people—or at least the vast majority of them—who are busy buying luxury cars and high-end fashion would trade their brand-new Mercedes in a heartbeat to save a child's life, if only they happened to be standing there in that moment.
They simply don't have the perspective to realize that their new car could represent a week's worth of meals for someone else.
It’s not that they choose designer clothes because they value them more than a human life; it’s more that those two realities exist in completely different universes.
Their conscience isn't eating them alive because they aren't being malicious, they're just unaware.
But in those rare moments when they finally *do* wake up—moments that were sparked by photos like that one—that's when you truly see the inner scream.

Mark Torres14 It’s funny how things turn out, isn't it? I was just thinking about what someone said the other day, and it really stuck with me.
We have kids to raise, and I really feel like our biggest job is teaching them how to actually stand on their own two feet when they head out into the world. It makes me think back to when my own kids were little and we started letting them handle small chores around the house; it’s those little moments that build real confidence. What kind of life skills do you all think we should be focusing on most?
Do you think people should be corrupt to the core, or is it better to just stay hardworking and honest?😕🤷☕

He’s such a hardworking, honest guy.

I totally get where you're coming from... there's a real chance that if we raise our kids to be hardworking and principled—instead of teaching them how to be "corrupt to the core"—they might actually struggle a bit more once they hit adulthood. They’ll probably face longer stretches of unemployment because they refuse to compromise their ideals, take lower paychecks, work way harder than necessary, and ultimately never become obscenely wealthy. I remember my own father used to say that integrity always comes with a price tag, and looking at how things work in America today, it really feels like he was right.
It’s just so heartbreaking when you have to watch your child go through all that struggle... as a parent, seeing them face those kinds of battles really weighs heavy on your heart.
It really hits home when you see how easy life seems for those kids who grew up with everything handed to them on a silver platter.
You know, I catch myself wondering if I actually made a mistake sometimes. Was I just being foolish? It’s honestly pretty easy to play the fool when you're only dealing with your own life, but when it comes down to your kids and making sure they're okay, all those rigid rules about what's "right" or "proper" just go right out the window.
Honestly, I don't really think they need to be moved at all.
I honestly feel like someone who lives their life with genuine energy and stays true to their word just ends up so much more satisfied, you know? It’s like they get to enjoy these much sweeter, more beautiful dreams at night because their conscience is totally clear.

Besides, I’ve always found that time is a pretty relentless ally when it comes to the truth, isn't it?
I’ve always believed that if you just stay focused and keep your head down, doing things the right way, your hard work will eventually catch up to you and everyone will see what you're truly made of.
There’s really no reason to worry that having those kinds of qualities makes someone "weak."
In the grand scheme of things, that approach always ends up being a huge advantage.

feralhound55 said:Men usually claim they’re simple—no hidden agendas, no expectations for us to be mind readers...

Meanwhile, women spend hours over coffee with their girlfriends trying to decode what they think are cryptic signals. Like, say, him not calling the day after a date. God forbid. Or right after sex.

Or maybe he’s avoiding certain topics. Is he spiraling about his job security during this recession? Or does he just find me boring?

Or he heads straight home after hooking up instead of staying the night. Maybe he has an early meeting and doesn't want to wake me. Or maybe he just doesn't care.

"I can't get into relationships." Is that actually code for "I can't fall for you, but you're great for casual hookups"?

Or the classic: "My life is just really complicated right now, I'll reach out once things settle down." Okay, that's pretty transparent. Or is it? Because sometimes those guys in "complicated situations" work overtime to maintain contact and convince you they haven't lost interest...

So, are men actually sending mixed signals, or are we just refusing to see the obvious? Or is it truly all just a blur? Here's my latest attempt at untangling the eternal mystery of male-female misunderstandings—take it or leave it.

Here is how I see things playing out...

In the early stages of getting to know someone, people tend to send those playful, double-entendre messages. It’s totally normal, honestly quite charming, and usually pretty transparent.
Once you actually get to know each other better, that ambiguity—which is really just flirting—tends to fade away. If it’s still hanging around, then someone is definitely playing games. Once that "ambiguity" starts weighing on your mind and you find yourself overanalyzing every single word, you know something is wrong.
In those moments, I've found that being completely honest is the best way to handle it, because if you get sucked into the little mind games, you're basically just suffering through someone else's lies and stalling tactics because you've fallen for them.

"It actually hurts my feelings when you say stuff like that, or when you disappear right after we have sex, or even when I wish you'd just stay the night sometimes..."
Personally, I can handle being left behind by someone who is being honest, even if it stings my heart as a partner or a girlfriend. But I can't stand being lied to; that feels like a direct insult to who I am as a person. I can move past a breakup, but once someone lies to me, I lose all respect for them and they'll never hold a special place in my life again.

Basically, if that "ambiguity" isn't giving you butterflies and is instead making you feel doubtful or insecure about yourself, it's almost certainly a lie.

mistymaker842 said:Man, I swear it feels like it just happened yesterday.
Back in middle school, I ran into some trouble and ended up taking a year off. When I finally went back the following year, I rejoined my old grade. You know how it is—there’s always those total jerks who will sniff out any little thing about you just to make fun of it and be obnoxious... honestly, they're basically the bullies of the playground. At first, it really got under my skin and messed with my head, but eventually, it stopped bothering me so much because I just learned how to hold my own and defend myself.

I don't really have some profound, life-changing piece of advice to give you, but maybe just being there to offer support at home is enough. Honestly, I think going into the school and trying to hash things out with the teachers or whatever else is probably the absolute worst move you could make.

Why is that?
Well, I honestly feel like it all comes down to the specific teacher in charge. If you happen to have a decent, reasonable person running the classroom, those bullies usually get sorted out pretty quickly.
The best move is for the teacher to announce they’re reshuffling the whole seating chart—so no one feels singled out—and then seat your little one next to someone new, while moving the ringleader next to someone they wouldn't dare mess with, like the most popular kid in class.
Your child will likely make a new friend almost immediately by sitting next to them, which helps them step away from the drama, and maybe the teacher can just keep a closer eye on things during recess for a little while to be safe.

redmarlin3 said:The only way the staff on Reddit can block you from posting is if you're actually banned, which isn't the case here—that's an automatic thing.
We use warnings, points, and bans for moderation, but nobody is going to manually block your messages.
You've got those two little warnings for trolling, but they definitely didn't cause this lockout. Honestly, the server has been struggling under a massive load the last couple of days, so it’s likely just a technical hiccup.

Aha, thanks so much! 🙂

So, those two little troll warnings don't even matter? 😢 I guess I'll just have to be even more of a troublemaker then! 😁

Thanks again.

redmarlin3 said:From what I can tell, your profile settings look perfectly fine on my end. 🤷

What exactly do you mean when you say you "can't open it"?
Is the "private message" link just not clickable at all?
Are you getting some kind of error message pop up?

Did you try going through your account options to find the PM section, or were you trying to jump straight to it from the homepage?

I was trying to go straight from the main page, and I kept getting this annoying prompt telling me to register all over again.
But honestly, everything is working smoothly now, and it looks like I might have been temporarily locked out by the admin because I was being a little bit of a troublemaker 😛 , which earned me a rather cheeky warning
.
Anyway, thanks so much for checking in on me!

I can't seem to get into my private messages 🤷
I was hanging out on the Religion forum earlier and someone suggested I come over here to ask since they couldn't help me out there. So, here I am... does anyone know why this might be happening?