Posts by Dennis Hernandez52

I was watching some comedy sketches the other night and it got me thinking about how we process the sheer scale of inequality today. It feels like every time a new headline drops about someone's net worth growing by another billion, we either spiral into genuine rage or we just turn to memes and mockery to cope.

Honestly, I think the humor is becoming more important. When the reality of the economic divide gets too absurd to wrap your head around, making fun of the "mega-rich" persona feels like a survival mechanism. It’s easier to laugh at the ridiculousness of extreme wealth than it is to sit with the actual, heavy implications of it. There's a certain level of parody that feels more "real" than any serious documentary could ever be, because it taps into that collective feeling of *is this actually happening?*

Do you think we're reaching a point where serious discussions about wealth are becoming impossible because the reality is just too ridiculous to take seriously?

Hi there.
I noticed a tiny little scratch on my neck last night that was itching like crazy, but I didn't think much of it—I just assumed a mosquito had gotten to me. Well, that was a mistake. The itching is getting progressively worse, and after scratching at it too hard, I felt this sharp, piercing pain shoot through that entire side of my neck all the way down to my shoulder. The pain is absolutely unbearable, and the worst part? It just keeps itching, itching, itching... I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow, but I honestly don't know if I can make it that long; it’s easily the worst pain I've ever experienced. I already went to the ER, but of course, they couldn't tell me what it is. Maybe it's shingles?! Please help me.😢

I used to be exactly the same way, until I finally had a moment of clarity: you have to live for yourself. And trust me, the world isn't going to end just because you tell someone you didn't pass an exam! Now, I just tell people—the university isn't going anywhere, it’ll still be standing right where it is tomorrow.😉

stormycanyon11 said:Dennis Hernandez52, I have to wonder if this state of mind you're describing is something that has been lingering over you for quite some time now, or if it was triggered by some specific sense of loss. You claim to be treating everyone around you poorly and feeling equally repulsed by your own self, which strikes me as both deeply melancholy and rather unsettling. Surely, in a life as complex as ours, there must be at least one small thing that brings you a flicker of joy, or perhaps a hobby or pursuit that offers you even a modicum of genuine satisfaction?

Maybe that's just how I perceive myself. I know the issue lies within me, but I have no idea how to fix it... I've basically accepted that I'm unhappy, even if the people around me don't see it. I realize I'm far too young to be thinking like this, but it's beyond my control. I'll be blunt: I view my life as a total failure.

Jason Booth25 said:If you’re feeling this way, you really need to reach out for some professional support. It’s incredibly difficult to pull yourself out of that kind of headspace on your own. I’d suggest heading to your primary care doctor to get a referral for a therapist, or if you have the means, maybe look into seeing someone privately. I'm sorry if I'm overstepping by offering advice, but when you say you're feeling this low, I just can't stay silent...

I appreciate the advice, truly, but I don't know how to put it into words—it isn't that I feel "bad," it's that I feel nothing at all. And honestly, that feels much worse. It's total apathy; everything is just indifferent to me. It's not as if I've completely let myself go; I'm still going through the motions and doing everything I usually do, so you wouldn't even realize it. On the outside, everything looks fine, but on the inside, it's just hollow. To make matters worse, I absolutely loathe self-pity, which is why I suppose this forum is the only place where I can actually vent...
And to steer us back to the main topic: while an individual's perspective on their life is subjective, I suspect most people don't view their lives as complete failures. I highly doubt there are many others who feel quite like I do...

Jason Booth25 said:You really ought to seek some professional help. Your perception of everything is likely distorted right now and isn't reflecting reality at all. Depression has a way of warping your view of the world. Didn't you mention earlier that you realize you actually have almost everything going for you? Isn't that a positive thing to hold onto—something that makes it worth putting in the effort to fix the broken parts of your life? I am truly sorry for your loss regarding your loved one😢.

Well, during one of my outbursts, I told my mother to just take me to a psych ward, and she laughed so hard she practically died. She said, "Yeah, you're crazy, but we wouldn't even want to take you there because you wouldn't even realize you were losing it!" And look, I'm not depressed. I'm simply looking at the facts. The truth is, I can't find myself anywhere; I have zero sense of self because I feel like a total zero. I know when you read this, your first instinct will be to label me as being in a deep depression, but that's not it. It's just that I don't feel anything anymore—neither good nor bad. Everything is just indifferent to me... I'm telling you, it's a wasted life...

If you’re asking about my situation, I honestly don't have the energy to even try anymore. It feels like life just keeps hitting me with one thing after another, and every setback just drags me further down into the dirt. I feel pathetic, hollow, and completely useless. The worst part is when I actually attempt to vent to someone; people immediately pivot to commenting on my physical appearance. It feels incredibly desperate to be sitting here typing to myself that I’m attractive, especially since I currently view myself as an utterly repulsive person. As for how a girl who looks like me could be struggling with this level of depression—I won't even get into my string of failed relationships. I harassed those poor guys so much that I still can't wrap my head around how they put up with me (though, obviously, they were likely only there for my looks, since I lack any other redeeming qualities). To top it all off, I recently lost someone I was deeply connected to, which is just one more crushing blow. I've also made certain choices in my life that I know I will never be able to forgive myself for. So, there it is. My life is a total failure.

Exactly. Honestly, I don't even bother fighting it anymore; I've just gotten used to destroying everything that’s actually decent or beautiful.😢

hiddenhawk3 said:Maybe you'll actually start being nicer. 😛

I guess you’d be a lot nicer to them if you actually liked someone in the group. Maybe. 😉

Trust me, I have my moments where I just snap, and I've pushed away people who genuinely cared about me... I think it happens because I convince myself I'm just a toxic person and that they'd be better off with someone else.

It’s possible to have everything laid out in front of you and still feel like your life is a total wash, simply because you can't find peace within yourself. On the flip side, there are people who own absolutely nothing in a material sense, yet they live life to the fullest and savor every single moment...
Unfortunately, I fall squarely into that first category. I’m fully aware that I possess almost everything anyone else could dream of, yet I am profoundly unhappy. I’m stuck in this endless loop where something is always missing; I just can't seem to settle down. Everyone who knows me says the exact same thing: "You're such a difficult person." I’m dissatisfied with my existence, and there are days when living feels like an exhausting chore. My biggest hurdle is my sarcasm—and honestly, I can be downright rude. Most men are initially drawn to my looks, but once they actually get to know me, they practically run for the hills! So, here I am, convinced my life is a massive failure, even if most people would disagree...
And please, don't go thinking I'm saying this because I'm some loser who can't land a boyfriend—if only it were that simple. I have much deeper reasons for feeling this way. Truthfully, I lack the motivation to care, and even when I do find someone or something interesting, it inevitably falls apart. I’ve reached a point where I’ve stopped trying to feel better. I’ve just accepted that my life is a complete mess...

Maybe I can offer some perspective from my own experience dealing with manic episodes and psychotic breaks. I know exactly what it feels like when you’re right on the edge and your nerves just snap. First things first: nothing—absolutely nothing—is worth sacrificing your health over. I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis at eighteen because of those exact kinds of emotional outbursts, and while I’ve managed to get through it, it’s a chronic condition triggered by stress that stays with you. You’re only sixteen. You have plenty of time to build who you want to be and create a life you actually enjoy. Don't let your parents, siblings, or friends get under your skin; most of that stuff will sort itself out eventually, and honestly, there isn't much you can do to control it anyway. Just breathe, find a hobby, and try to detach yourself from the chaos by focusing on something that actually makes you happy.
Unfortunately, I didn't have anyone to give me this advice back then. Now, I feel terrible. I feel like I've wasted so much of my life, and the constant stress is completely draining me. I can't even handle people giving me feedback without having a total breakdown, which causes me to push everyone away. I'm lucky to have true friends who can still put up with me and a family that stands by my side, because if I can't even understand myself, how is anyone else supposed to? I'm telling you this because I just want to help you find some peace and stability. I wouldn't wish what I'm going through on anyone.